Stefan (Lost Nights Series Book 1)

by Jocelynn Drake

  “You don’t have to say it.”

  “I do.” My head snapped up and I swallowed back my fear. I had to say the words to make it real, to finally move past it so I could try to embrace this new life I had been given. We both needed to hear the words. “He killed me in the woods. It was dark and cold and I’d never been so scared in all my life. And when I heard the voice, I held on because I wanted to see you again. I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

  Stefan took another step toward me, but this time I didn’t move. He didn’t touch me as I expected. Emotions flashed across his face; anger, frustration, pain, sorrow, and confusion tugged at his lips and sparkled in his eyes. I wanted to close the last few feet of open space separating us and hold him, but I was afraid.

  “Is it true?” I finally asked when the silence had stretched longer than I could stand.

  “What?”

  “They said that you’re a First Blood.”

  “Yes,” Stefan replied stiffly and I could almost hear the air of royalty and entitlement in his voice.

  “They said that you wouldn’t be able to tolerate me because Vanko made me chum. They said...” I broke off when my voice threatened to crack. Clearing my throat, I pushed on. “They said that I was only unique and interesting to you because I was mortal, and now that I’m chum I’m useless and disposable.”

  “God no,” Stefan said in a harsh breath. He closed the distance between us in a blink, gathering me up in strong arms so that I was crushed against his hard chest. “You are my Erin. Ma petite. Mine.” His lips came down on mine, capturing me in a searing kiss that wiped away the last of my doubts. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him back with the same desperate enthusiasm. After nearly three weeks of not seeing him and living in an almost constant state of fear, I wanted to be lost in this man. I wanted him to blot out the world so that there was only the sound of his voice, the touch of fingers, and the taste of his lips.

  And for a short time, I did. Now that I was a nightwalker, his scent was so much richer, taking on textures I hadn’t picked up before. He was still the haunting spirit of autumn but now when I dragged him scent into me, it reminded me of spiced pumpkin and cinnamon. He was the crackle of dried leaves and that deep woodsy scent of fire and earth.

  There was another aspect to his kiss that I hadn’t noticed before, but it was absolutely intoxicating. I could feel a hint of his emotions now echoing through him as he kissed me. His fear and hunger drifted through me. Sharp joy edged with relief and sadness rippled through the kiss. I let my own emotions loose, knowing that he could feel mine like I could feel his. I wanted him to feel my joy and relief at finding him. I wanted him to sense my trust and the love that was growing for him. Let it become a balm for his lingering anger and frustration.

  After what seemed like an eternity, Stefan broke off the kiss and pressed his forehead to mine. “If your question had come from anyone else, the answer very well could have been yes, but never for you. Not even the dark thirst could change you, ma petite.”

  A little giggle escaped me before I could swallow it back. “I missed that,” I whispered.

  “And I have missed you. We have much to catch up on.”

  And then we were suddenly airborne. My arms tightened around Stefan’s throat and I buried my face into his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

  “I thought we would put a little more distance between ourselves and Venice,” he said over the rush of the cold air. “We need to talk. Tomorrow night, I am hunting down that bastard who touched you and I will make him pay for harming my woman.”

  “That’s sweet, Stefan, but there’s no need.”

  Stefan’s arms tightened in anger and he turned his head to glare at me. “He terrorized you and murdered you. He can’t be permitted to continue a night longer. He—”

  “I’m not disagreeing with you,” I interrupted with a weak smile. “Well, maybe a little. But the point is, you can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “I ... kind of ... accidentally ... killed him already,” I said, wincing.

  “You killed your maker?” he repeated tonelessly.

  “It was an accident. He wanted me to feed from this young girl. After I’d accidentally killed the werewolf when he came to fetch me my first night as a nightwalker, I really didn’t think the young girl would survive me feeding so I fought Vanko ... and staked him.” I explained it in a brisk torrent of words as if saying them all at once could stop the look of horror I fully expected to fill his handsome face.

  “You killed your maker and a werewolf on your first night?” Stefan demanded incredulously.

  I cringed. “Yes.”

  Stefan laughed. It was a deep, joyous sound that vibrated up his chest. Squeezing me tight, he swooped higher into the clouds, turning in like a pirouette with me in my arms. I held tight to him, confused and relieved by his response.

  “You’re going to be a wonderful nightwalker,” Stefan crowed to the stars, somehow managing to sound like a proud father and doting boyfriend at the same time. It was a little creepy. And a little endearing.

  I wasn’t feeling quite as confident as Stefan, but I appreciated his conviction. The deaths of Vanko and Otto had been accidents. I’d been desperate to survive and nothing more. For now, I was just happy to be back in Stefan’s arms. My only hope was that I was now on the right track to figuring out why I had been framed for murder and who was trying to hurt Stefan. Those were my top concerns.

  I don’t know how long we flew. It didn’t seem too long before we were descending back to the earth so that we were now standing before a large house in the middle of nowhere. There were a few lights dimly shining through the windows, but for the most part, the place was dark.

  “Where are we?” I asked, as I stepped away from Stefan and looked up at the elegant three-story home. The windows were shut against the cool night air, but there was some patio furniture set out as if someone had already begun to enjoy the warmer temperatures during the day.

  “It’s the home of a friend,” he said, but there was some tension layered in his words as if he were grinding the word “friend” between his molars.

  “I always got the impression that you didn’t have friends,” I said nervously.

  A reluctant smile tweaked the corner of his mouth and he extended his hand to me. “Since becoming one of the Elders on the Coven, I’ve found that it is in my best interest to acquire a few friends.”

  I slid my hand into his and returned his smile. “It’s always good to have someone watching your back.”

  Stefan’s soft chuckle danced around me as he tugged me along a path that ran along the side of the house to an entrance that opened from what looked to be a library. “That would be expecting a lot from these friends.”

  “Then what do you want from these friends?” I asked, because Daphne had been explicit in her instructions that nightwalkers didn’t do something for nothing. She even admitted that by helping me become a better nightwalker, she succeeded in protecting her own little group better. A rogue nightwalker only drew more attention, which brought both the censure of humans and the Coven.

  “We have some common interests.”

  “Like?” I prompted when Stefan didn’t continue.

  Stefan stopped in the center of the dark room and pulled me close so that he could easily wrap his arms around me. “I don’t recall you being so curious when you were human.”

  “Oh I was,” I said, standing on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his chin. “I just didn’t think you’d answer my question because you were this big bad vampire and I was dinner.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second, ma petite,” he said, sounding as if he were purring as I pressed little kisses along his jaw.

  “Well, that was part of the reason. The other part was that you tended to keep me so occupied that I didn’t have much chance to ask you questions.”

  Stefan’s hands tightened around me so that my body was pressed against his full lengt
h. “Then I shall remedy that now.”

  I didn’t have a chance to reply because he captured my lips in a deep, possessive kiss that wiped away all my doubts and worries. Time was turned back so that it was like our first kiss in my apartment in Venice. The world wasn’t trying to tear us apart or kill me. There weren’t people scheming to harm the man in my arms. There was only our hunger to be as close as possible and heaven help me, I loved it.

  Stefan kissed me deeply, his tongue sweeping through my mouth as if he were trying to taste all of me. There was nothing soft or tentative about his touch. He was no longer trying to woo me or even worried about scaring me. This was about possession. It was about claiming me as his after our long separation. And I didn’t mind. I wanted to be treasured and cherished. After years of being alone and reveling in my independence, I had finally found someone that I wanted to belong to someone.

  Sliding my hands into his long brown hair, I clenched my fingers in the silky strands until he gave a little grunt, backing off slightly. That was when I struck, stealing the dominance in the kiss. He might possess me, but at that moment I was happy to stake my claim over him. Stefan was mine and I’d defy any female to steal him from me.

  “Come now, Mira. Let’s leave them be. They haven’t seen each other in weeks,” mocked a male voice that I didn’t recognize. I tried to break away to see who was now in the house with us, but Stefan only growled like a dog guarding his bone before recapturing my lips. Laughter drifted from the speaker and I could sense more than hear the others moving to another part of the house.

  It was several minutes later before Stefan paused in his kissing long enough to allow me to pull away from him. I glanced around to find that we were alone but there was now a light shining dimly down the hall.

  “Who’s here?” I demanded as I tried to pull away from Stefan. He frowned, but I wasn’t sure if it was directed at my attempts to get free or the fact that we were no longer alone. It was likely a combination of the two.

  With a groan, Stefan loosened his hold on me, but kept my hand as he led the way out of the library and down the hall to what looked like a large sitting room. A couple lamps were lit around the opulent room, revealing exquisite antique furniture. It was like a room frozen in time and I would have loved to sketch it, but the other nightwalkers in the room were keeping me from ogling the furnishing too long.

  An extremely handsome man with a kind of sandy blondish-brown hair lounged in one chair with amused smirk on his lips. I had never seen him before but some protective warning in my head was screaming that this man was danger. Of course, my unease wasn’t helped by the fact that Mira and Danaus were also present. At the sight of the Fire Starter and the Hunter, I took a nervous step backward so that I was slightly hidden behind Stefan’s broad shoulder. Stefan’s hand tightened on mine, trying to reassure me when I wasn’t quite sure I would ever feel safe again.

  “I see your reputation has scarred another poor soul, Mira,” the unknown man teased.

  “Stuff it,” Mira growled, but she didn’t look over at the stranger. No, she kept her eyes on me.

  “Erin, you know Mira and Danaus,” Stefan began, stepping aside slightly so that I could get a good look at the unknown man. “This pain in the ass is Valerio.”

  I flinched at the mention of Valerio’s name and Stefan felt the muscle twitch in my hand because he suddenly stepped in front of me, using his larger body to protect me from any potential threat posed by the gathered nightwalkers. Sadly, I appreciated that protection, fear flooding my body. My captor had been too happy to place the real threat in Mira’s lap and Daphne had been kind enough to point out that Valerio was an old friend of Mira’s. If Mira was the threat to Stefan, we couldn’t have walked into a more horrible situation.

  “Can we leave please?” I asked, pressing my forehead against Stefan’s back. I’d whispered those four words as softly as I possibly could but I had little doubt that everyone present had heard me.

  Tension fairly vibrated in Stefan’s body and his hand tightened around mine. “Who has hurt you? Valerio? Did he threaten you?” he snarled, sounding more animal than man.

  “Impossible! I’ve never seen the woman,” Valerio shouted, jumping to his feet.

  “Sit back down,” Stefan bit out. He released his hold on me, bringing his hands back in front of him. A new shiver of fear rippled through me. Anger and distrust was ramping up in the room and we were edging closer to violence. I didn’t know if Stefan was painfully outnumbered and this was all my fault.

  “No, he didn’t threaten or touch me,” I quickly said. “I’ve never seen him before.”

  “Stefan, back off!” Mira snapped.

  “Erin is terrified of someone in this room and I want to know who hurt her!”

  I peered around Stefan to find that Mira was now standing between Valerio and Stefan as if to separate them. Unfortunately, Danaus was also standing near Mira with a hand resting on the hilt of a knife at his waist. If someone flinched, things were going to go bad fast.

  “Stop it!” I screamed. Ducking under Stefan’s arm, I dodged his grasping hand and moved to the center of the room, while trying to keep an equal distance from everyone. “Just stop it! I’ve had enough. I know I’m just a bug to you people, but this bug has put up with all the shit she’d going to take.”

  The silence was broken after several tense seconds from a loud, rough bark of laughter from Danaus. The strange human dropped his hand from his knife and curled an arm around Mira’s waist, pulling her back toward her chair. The worst of the tension has been broken, but there were too many unanswered questions left hanging in the air.

  “The vampire who... killed me...” I paused and sighed, trying to push my mind past that bit of emotional baggage. “He said that I was taken to protect me from Mira. He said that Mira and Danaus were going to kill me — dead — in a plot against Stefan. I was also told in Poland that Valerio was a close ally of Mira and to avoid Vienna at all costs.” Dropping my hands back down to my side, I shook my head a bit helplessly. “If any of that’s true, it’s four against two and I have to tell you, I’m a really shitty nightwalker.”

  Stefan was beside me in a heartbeat, pulling me tight against his chest as he gathered me in his arms. “It’s not Mira.”

  “But how—?”

  “Mira was the one who put me on the Coven,” Stefan quickly explained. “If she didn’t want me there, she’d take me out personally. There is no question that Mira is one of the most powerful nightwalkers. She doesn’t need subterfuge or plots to get what she wants.”

  “And Valerio? You trust him?”

  A small smile curled on his lips. “No farther than I can throw him.”

  “If that much,” Valerio chimed in, sounding completely unperturbed by our conversation.

  “But there is no feud between us,” Stefan continued, keeping his eyes locked on my face. “Valerio is too occupied with Valerio. If he wanted the open seat on the Coven, he knows he would get it uncontested by Mira and me.”

  Laying my head against his chest, I closed my eyes while relief swept through me. Muscles trembled. Too many long nights twisted up with fear and indecision. I was tired of second guessing every decision I made and everything I was told. I needed someone I could trust. And for better or worse, I trusted Stefan and his knowledge of nightwalkers.

  Turning in Stefan’s arms to look at Mira and Valerio, I offered up a weak smile. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t think of it,” Mira said with a wave of her hand. She looked as if she was trying to smile, but it wilted before it could completely form. There was a deep sadness in her eyes as she watched me. “I’m sorry that you couldn’t escape unharmed and I’m sorry we didn’t do a better job of protecting you. Stefan had no plans for changing you and ...”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I whispered, a lump forming in my throat. Pain sliced through me at Mira’s words, but I did my best to tap it down and stay focused on the moment. I could curl up in a ball and
feel sorry for myself later. “What’s done is done and we need to focus on the problem before us. And I think the first important step is to figure out who really is behind all this murder and mayhem before someone else ends up dead permanently.”

  “So do we think this is someone who has a grudge against Stefan?” Valerio inquired, lounging in his chair once again. “Or is this someone who is making a play for a chair and doesn’t think he’ll get past Stefan?”

  And so the conversation went for the rest of the night…

  On and on they listed nightwalkers and even some shapeshifters who held a grudge against Stefan. By the end, Stefan was looking a bit unsettled by the growing list of potential antagonists. He’d alienated so many different nightwalkers over the year, but then he’d lived more than a thousand years. That was plenty of time to piss off a lot of people.

  While Mira, Valerio, and Stefan were deep in discussion, I slipped away from the group to wander to a set of double doors at the back of the room. The back patio was bathed in moonlight, revealing a neat flower garden of trimmed hedges and stone path leading through the garden. Standing before a waist-high stone wall that edged the patio, I leaned forward, putting my forearms on the wall while taking a moment to close my eyes and relax. The wind whispered through the new leaves and sifted its fingers through the grass before it danced away. I blocked out the humans I could sense just a few miles down the road and the other nightwalkers even farther away.

  My solitude lasted only a few minutes before Stefan joined me. I started to straighten when he placed a hand on my lower back, caressing sore and tired muscles.

  “You’re hungry,” Stefan observed.

  “A little,” I admitted as I turned to face him. I leaned back against the wall while looking up at him. “I’ve been skimping a bit on meals for the past week, taking just enough to get by, but it seems to be catching up with me.”