Kill or Be Killed: A Reverse Harem Paranormal University Academy Romance (Cain University Book 2)

by Lucy Auburn

  It's not a big surprise to find Wyatt standing near the door to the other's room, his arms crossed, leaning back against the wall with a pensive expression on his face. I wish I could know his thoughts the way Grayson does, or listen to him speak without taking his hand. Maybe if I knew what was on his mind I would understand him better.

  I still find it hard to believe that he's a player. Grayson could be lying about that, or exaggerating. The Wyatt I know doesn't seem like the type. But then again, he's an attractive guy, with strength and charm to go with it. I bet all it would take is a little swagger and a panty-melting smirk to get any woman he wants.

  "Hey." His head jerks up at the sound of my voice. I stop just a few feet away from him, biting my lower lip, worrying about what to say next. "So. What you saw, it wasn't... I didn't plan it, and nothing went further than that. Don't be upset."

  Wyatt's mouth twists down in a frown. "Why him?"

  "Oh." I find myself looking down and away, because there really isn't an answer to that. "It's not—not like I picked him. I wouldn't... and like I said, it didn't go further than that. It just happened." Because I'm not sure what'll work to mend this awkwardness, I add, "Grayson kissed me, not the other way around."

  "Grayson kissed you!?" A foot nudges the slightly ajar door to Mason and Levi's room, and a familiar face appears in the gap. "What do you mean, Ellen, that Grayson kissed you."

  Oh boy. I didn't know Mason was in earshot when I said that. Sure, I told him to keep things casual, but I'm not an idiot. I see the way he looks at me. It would've been better if I'd told him this news myself. Now I have to deal with the hurt and irritation on his face all on my own.

  "I wanted to talk to a few ghosts," I explain, now not just to Wyatt, but to Mason as well. "So I asked Grayson to help me, and... well, some stuff with his family got dug up. He just wanted some comfort, that's all." And he was horny, more than willing to keep going all the way, but I don't add that part. "It wasn't like we planned it."

  "Did you kiss him back?"

  "I don't see how that's any of your business," I tell Mason, feeling cross. "It's not like you're my boyfriend."

  "Right." The way his mouth pulls down at the corners and he tugs on the end of his braid, it's clear he's hurt by my words. I want to take them back, but it's for the best that he knows things are casual between us. Ripping off the bandaid is better. "So you're just going to sleep with anyone you want. Even Grayson. I thought you hated him Ellen."

  "It's complicated." I wince the instant the words are out of my mouth; I always hated girls who said that about their not-boyfriend, yet here I am, saying it myself. Defensively, I point out, "It's not like I chose you four to be my Conduits."

  Wyatt scoffs. "You ch-chose to f-f-f-uck Mason, though."

  "It's just casual!" I throw my hands up in the air, feeling fed up and in over my head. "I didn't mean anything by it. Any of it."

  Mason mutters, "You clearly didn't feel anything either."

  Then he turns on his heel and stalks off, his braid swinging behind him, hands curving around the handle of two daggers sheathed on his back. As he leaves, the door to his room widens, and Levi stares out into the hallway, silver brows raised.

  He has, of all things, a bag of chips in front of him.

  And stares right at me as he draws one out, puts it in his mouth, and very loudly crunches down on it. "That was awkward," he says around a bite of ranch-flavored food. "Hey, Ellen, if you're handing out casual quickies, think you could help a guy out with an experiment? I've always wondered if my orgasms are loud because of my weakness or—"

  Wyatt slams the door. There's a sigh from the other side, and a muffled Levi says, "Guess it's just you and me, ol' handy buddy. That's what we get for being fun and light-hearted. The brooding guys get all the fun."

  I have to hold my breath to keep from smiling or chuckling at his words. Wyatt is still staring at me, pain and a bit of frustration on his face. I don't think he'd appreciate it if I laughed at Levi's jokes right about now.

  Staring up at him, I ask, "Why are you mad? It's not like you ever made a move on me. Besides flirting."

  His eyes roam my face, and he reaches a tentative hand out. Relieved, I take it in my grip, feeling the shudder of power flow through me all the way down to the ground, making my toes curl in delight and anticipation.

  The more time I spend with the guys, the stronger our connection grows, and my powers along with it. Which means that any day now my weakness will bloom in full force—Eve has warned me as much. I'll have to watch out for it, in case it turns out to be deadly like Mason's weakness.

  "I know I didn't make a move." Wyatt sighs, licking his lips, looking startled as always by the ease with which his voice comes when he's touching me. "I wanted to, but..."

  "But?"

  "It's hard when you have a tongue like mine." He gestures hopelessly towards his lips. "Girls appreciate my body. They like having me in bed." With a little smirk and a sauve wink, he adds, "I'm good in bed."

  Heat prickles between my thighs, and I force myself not to look down at his crotch, blushing at the thought of his supposedly ginormous dick. Now is not the time. "So what's the deal? Why are you upset about me and Grayson kissing? Or me hooking up with Mason."

  "Why not me?" It's a simple question, but the hurt in it is clear. "Is it because you think I'm stupid?"

  "No!" I protest quickly, feeling like an idiot and an asshole. "It's nothing like that."

  "Grayson is smart." His mouth turns down at the corners. "Half the girls who sleep with me want to know more about him. What does he like, how to get his attention... he doesn't notice it when they throw themselves at him. He's oblivious. So they hookup with me, because they don't think it'll become anything more than that. Then they get mad that I won't help them sleep with my best friend."

  "I know you're smart," I tell him gently, thinking fast. If Grayson had any idea how many of Wyatt's hookups wanted him, I have no doubt it'd go to his head—so best to never mention it. But it does explain the hurt in Wyatt's voice, and why he was so upset to see me kissing his best friend. "I didn't really plan anything that happened with Mason or Grayson. Did you notice their names rhyme? It's funny." It's not, I'm just babbling. "Okay, so... Mason and I just hooked up because I was looking for a place to think, and he was in the arena. And Grayson... that kiss wasn't about me. He doesn't want me. He just wanted a distraction."

  Wyatt snorts. "I doubt that. He wants you, Ellen. Whether you see it or not."

  I shy away from his words, not wanting to think about the implication. "Still, it wasn't planned. And I wasn't avoiding you or something. I just... I figured if I slept with Mason and then you, it might cause issues. It already is."

  A smile unfurls on Wyatt's mouth, one full of sinful implications, and he takes a step towards me until I have to look up into his eyes. "So you were thinking about sleeping with me."

  "I wasn't not-thinking about it," I confess, blushing from what feels like my collarbones to my scalp. "I just don't want to make things complicated. Well, more complicated. Mason..."

  "Wants you to be his girlfriend." Wyatt tugs me towards him and puts the palm of my hand against his chest, his fingers engulfing mine completely. I bite my lip at the feeling of his heart beating beneath my touch, like the beating of a drum in a brass band. "But if he wants it, then that means he hasn't gotten it yet. Because it's just casual, like you said. Isn't that right?"

  "I don't think I'm girlfriend material," I tell him honestly, thinking about all the time I wasted in a relationship when I should've been focusing on myself. "I only wanted a physical release. Something to think about that wasn't all of this."

  With a motion of my free hand, I do my best to encapsulate the entire campus of Cain University, the world outside it, the Black Serpent, our classes, training, Mark, my mother's murder... well, needless to say, I'm busy. Add a cat and a best friend to spend time with, and I don't exactly have the free hours to soothe a boyfriend's eg
o or cook him dinner to make him happy. I'm still working on making me happy.

  So I tell Wyatt, "I can't take care of someone else. Which is why I should probably break things off with Mason and apologize to him before he gets hurt further."

  It's what I should've done from the start. Sleeping with him a second time was a mistake; the first time, I can chalk up to not realizing what a softie lay beneath those firm muscles and tight ass, but now I know he's too fragile to be a one night stand. And I'm too fucked up to be a girlfriend.

  "I don't need to be taken care of," Wyatt says. "I'm strong enough to take care of myself."

  "I don't doubt that."

  He smirks, leaning down towards me, his muscles flexing beneath my palm. "So if it's physical release that you're looking for, well... I'm available."

  I swallow, thinking about what must lie beneath the thick clothes he's wearing. Wyatt is a beast of a man, that's for sure—a girl could climb him and he wouldn't topple.

  But I tell him, "I can't do anything—or anyone—until I've talked to Mason."

  "Talk, then. Just come back later." His smile is infectious, reaching up towards his eyes. "I like having my tongue free around you."

  "I like hearing you talk," I confess, heat blooming in my cheeks. "And not talking would be nice too."

  The grin that splits Wyatt's face says it all. In a low rumble that makes his chest vibrate against my palm, he tells me, "Another time, then. We won't talk at all."

  Letting go of my hand, he stares at me. I swallow at the desire plainly written across his face. Just as I'm about to turn and go, though, he murmurs, "W-wait."

  "What?"

  "Th-this."

  Sweeping a hand against the back of my neck, he dips low to place a scorching kiss against my lips. His strong hand is warm on my skin, his mouth sure and determined, his tongue no longer so twisted as it strokes against mine.

  When he breaks away again, he has a shit-stirring grin on his face. "Take th-that with you."

  I can feel his desire all the way down to my fingertips. There's banked heat in his eyes, barely controlled. Another bit of temptation and he'd let it loose on me—and we both know that wouldn't end well, given how quickly Mason left here.

  So I break away from that impossibly heavy gaze and walk down the hallway as fast as I can, hoping Mason won't be too far away.

  There's only so much chasing after guys a girl can do in one day, after all. When I enrolled in a graduate program for killers, I didn't think my life would turn into a middle school play. If my sixth grade bully Sarah Saunders shows up I'm running right out the gates and never coming back.

  Thankfully Mason is just around the corner in the courtyard, leaning up against one of the columns and looking thoroughly morose. Once again I feel like I kicked a puppy, only this time I'm also a little bit irritated at the puppy, because it's not my fault the puppy's best friend kissed me.

  Awkward metaphor aside, there's no mistaking the soft, warm brown eyes that look over as I walk up. Mason is definitely hurt, and he's caught far too many feelings for me, which means this has to end before it goes any further. Even if that means hurting him now, at least it'll hurt less than it would if I put it off further.

  "Hey Ellen." His voice is soft, and he rubs the back of his neck, right below the base of his braid. "I guess we should talk."

  "We should."

  I step up in front of him, feeling almost like I'm having an out-of-body experience. I've never broken up with someone before—other than that time I stabbed my boyfriend to death, which I think mostly counts. Whatever words exist to let someone down without hurting them, I don't have them.

  "So about you and me—"

  "I'm sorry I got so mad—" He clears his throat. "You first."

  "I don't think we should sleep together anymore," I blurt out, feeling relieved to have said it, even though my gut twists. "I mean, clearly it's not good for you if you're going to be upset because Grayson kissed me."

  Mason looks down and away, trying to hide his hurt, but I can see it. "I was going to tell you that I'm sorry I got angry about you and Grayson kissing. I know that it's unfair of me—you made it clear this was casual from the start. And he is your Conduit too." He furrows his brows, kicking a little pebble on the path that leads through the four fountains. "Are you sure you want to end things? I mean, like you said, it was a nice stress relief."

  I'm sure that I don't want to end things. But I have to be the big girl, and keep him from handing his heart over to a mess like me. "I know it's not easy, but I think it's for the best. I just don't have time for something serious."

  "Right, right." He nods, looking over at me, and it's clear his trying to school his expression. "I get it, Ellen. I wish it were different, though. I mean, it's not like we can stop spending time together, between classes and training. And the attraction will remain. But I understand. We want different things."

  As he pushes off from the column behind him, muscles visibly rippling beneath his white t-shirt and thick black jacket, I have to swallow to keep from drooling. It's unfair that a guy this kind, sweet, loyal, and attractive would come along now.

  I could've used a Mason Kincaide years ago, before Jack ruined me.

  The irony is, I wouldn't know Mason at all if not for everything that happened with Jack right up until the end. How cruel fate is, to give me just exactly what I need right when I can't have it.

  Licking my lips, I lie to Mason. "I hope you find someone who wants the same thing you do." I'd rather his dick shrivel up and fall off rather than imagine him using it on another woman, but that's not something I want to admit to him. "And hopefully we can still be friends. Or friendly. Even if..."

  "You wind up with one of my friends?" He raises a sharp eyebrow, and I wince, unable to meet his eyes. "Don't worry about it, Ellen. We were two ships passing in the night. I can move on. Can you do one thing for me, though?"

  "What's that?" I ask, looking up only to realize he's standing so close to me that I can see the gold threads in his warm brown eyes.

  "Give me a goodbye kiss. Just one." The corner of his mouth curls up. "After all, if we're not going to have breakup sex for the end of our not-relationship, I think a kiss is the least we could do before the end."

  I should say no. Instead I find myself licking my lips and leaning towards him, intoxicated by his scent around us, like spice and warm sugar.

  "Just one kiss," I tell him, knowing that if he asks for another, it'll be impossible to resist. "For goodbye."

  "Mmmm."

  He gently tilts my chin up with the soft pads of his fingers. His eyes flutter closed as he nears me, and my eyelids slide down as well, heart doing a tap dance in my chest. Mason's lips skim the soft side of my nose, then move slowly down to my parted lips, which anticipate his kiss greedily.

  Taking his time, he shows me just exactly what I'm missing out on by ending things with him. The kiss is delicate yet scorching, deep but brief. His mouth is barely on mine, pricking heat between my thighs, before he presses his lips against mine and pulls back, hooded eyes staring down at me so intensely I swear he must be memorizing every inch of my face.

  In a low, rough voice, he says, "Farewell."

  Then he drops his hand from my chin, and it's all I can do not to take a step towards him, grab his collar, and pull him down towards me for another kiss. Then more after that, even though we just had each other recently, and I can still remember the shape of him inside me. I want more of Mason—a dozen carnal nights, each of which would just carve his heart up further.

  I admit that he's right—the attraction will remain. I wish I could let myself feel something more. It's just not possible, though, and it wouldn't be right to use Mason physically when I'll just be hurting him for my own gain.

  Especially since there's someone just around the corner from him who wants something casual, and won't turn into a kicked puppy. I have a hookup lined up whenever I want no strings attached.

  Not W
yatt, who acts the player but has a heart of gold, and wants me too much. Sweet Wyatt—I want to taste him, to have him, but I know better. He holds onto my hand so tightly, knowing that he can only be himself with me around. I'll have to figure out a way to let him down easy, even though my lust wants him.

  And I can't risk having more of Grayson, who makes me want to scream and slap his face, then confusingly, push him onto the bed to devour every inch of him. Just touching his hand is promising too much, more than I can deliver on, because I have to let him go, and cause him the worst pain in the world.

  The only of my Conduits who actually knows how to do casual is smart-mouthed, sarcastic, crude Levi, with his liquid bedroom eyes and careless attitude.

  If I'm looking for a hookup, I could turn to him. But just the thought of what he'll say is enough to make me cringe—no way we'll he keep it to himself. He's just not an option.

  I'm better off figuring out where Eve stores her vibrator, washing it off, and going to town on that instead. And that’s saying something, because if she found me violating her bed with my sex romps, she’d probably put a Mark on my head. It’d still be the less risky option.

  There's too much to do to risk getting in over my head with these soft-hearted clever-mouthed men. I have to figure out a way to keep the peace between the five of us long enough to kill our Marks or we won't survive to graduation.

  Chapter 18

  It's a tough week in class after all the drama. Grayson stays cold-eyed and distant, somehow managing to wiggle his way out of holding my hand during every training session—I'm halfway convinced he used his powers on Abarra to do it, but I don't have the energy to argue with him, given what our last argument almost turned into. The last thing I need is to hate-hump him on the training room floor. I'd rather fart again.

  Mason puts on a brave face, but I can tell it pains him to slip his hand into mine and pretend like nothing is wrong. I try to look into the future over and over again, cringing away from the bigs things, but only manage to foresee that Penny will get her tail stuck in the closet door and claw Eve's legs. She does, even though I warn Eve, because apparently some things are inevitable. Eve threatens to cut the cat off from her unlimited food supply, until later Penny threads her way between her legs and purrs.