The Future of Our Past (The Remembrance Trilogy)

by Kahlen Aymes

  “I think about it. Sometimes I miss your touch so much I can hardly stand it.”

  “So take care of it,” he suggested huskily.

  “It wouldn’t be the same. Your hands are the only ones I want on my body, Ryan. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

  “Uhnnn…I love hearing that. You know what it does to me.”

  “I know, baby, me too, and it just makes me more anxious to see you. It’s sort of sweet torture,” I said softly.

  “Now I’m going to go to bed with a huge hard-on.”

  I laughed softly under my breath. “You do it to yourself, honey. That’s what you get for bringing it up.”

  “You do it to me. I can’t wait until Friday,” I could hear the sex throb through his voice and my body reacted as if he were in the room with me. “It was vindictive sending me the lingerie with your scent all over it.”

  “Deal with it.” I threw his own words back in his face, a soft smile tugging at my lips.

  “You’re gonna get it, Miss Abbott.”

  “Mmmm…counting the minutes until I do.” My heart squeezed knowing that if I went to Paris, all we’d have to sustain us for months on end, were phone conversations.

  “Ugh! Baby, I’ll let you go to bed. Don’t forget…only my hands on your body. Only me who brings you to that.”

  “Uhh…Ryan…” I whispered achingly. “Yes, baby.”

  “God, I love you.”

  “Love you more.”

  “Baby, stop. We do this all the time.”

  “Okay, it’s a tie then.”

  “That works for me. Goodnight, my love. Don’t forget to ache for me.”

  “I can’t help myself. Goodnight, sexy beast.”

  Counting the minutes…I was counting the minutes, too.

  Literally.

  I smiled a huge ass grin, my heart racing a thousand beats a minute as I hailed a cab. Still in my scrubs, I’d run to the train station straight from my rotation shift. I threw my duffle in the cab before climbing in and giving the driver Julia’s address in Upper Manhattan.

  I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Only minutes now. She’d be surprised at the extra two nights together and I was feeling as satisfied as a cat that just ate the canary. I was so hungry for her, my mouth had gone dry and I had perpetual wood just thinking about her. Shit.

  The cab driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror. He was an older gentleman with graying hair and a scruffy beard.

  “Going to see your girl?” His smile was warm and I nodded.

  “Yes. I haven’t seen her in almost two months. I’m very anxious and I’m surprising her. She isn’t expecting me for two more days.”

  “Ah. Are you sure that’s wise son? Maybe she’s busy.” I knew he was implying that she might have another boyfriend.

  “Hmmph. Yes, it’s fine.” I rolled my eyes in disgust at any doubt over her devotion. “She’ll be happy as shit to see me. We’ve been together almost 8 years. Trust me, we’re as tight as it gets.”

  “And yet you still seem excited to see her. After all this time?”

  I contemplated his remark and considered how much I wanted to share. After all, I’d never see him again and he was only making polite conversation, even if the question did piss me off slightly.

  “We’ve only been a couple for half that time, before that, best friends; inseparable from day one. Julia is an extraordinary woman, and yes, she still excites me as much as ever.” I smirked and shoved my hand in the pocket of my leather jacket, fingering the red silk lingerie that she’d sent me for Valentine’s Day. I was feeling mischievous and so I pulled it out, holding it up for him to see in his mirror. It was a sexy little nothing that he could clearly see my face through and his eyebrows raised and he let out a low whistle.

  “Did you get her that for Valentine’s Day?”

  “Nope.” I laughed and shoved it back into my pocket. “She got it for me. Getting her into and out of this sexy little thing will be my pleasure about 10 minutes from now.”

  She’d probably be in bed already and it was my plan to sneak in and try to catch her off guard. She could wear it tomorrow night. Tonight, I was too impatient to feel her skin on mine.

  “Okay, enough said. If she’s that sexy, how’d you manage to just be friends for so long?”

  I shook my head as I glanced out the window and answered, more to myself. “Fuck if I know.”

  “I don’t mean to pry. I’m just bored and my wife died five years ago. It’s nice to hear some happy stories for Valentine’s Day.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. How long were you married?”

  “38 years. She had cancer. Are you planning on marrying this girl?”

  “I’m asking her this weekend.” I took the ring out of the inside pocket of my jacket and flipped open the box, gazing down at the glittering stones set in platinum. My thumb brushed over the top of the solitaire. “Finally, we’ll be able to be together.”

  “Oh? You aren’t now? Why not?” he asked, his curiosity piqued.

  “Well, she has a high powered job at Vogue Magazine and I’m just finishing medical school in Boston. I’m moving here in June to begin my residency at St. Vincent’s.”

  “Wow. You two will have a great life.”

  “Yeah. Once it starts. It’s been hell being apart, but…that is almost behind us now,” I said, my excitement becoming more than I could bear as he pulled up beside Julia’s apartment building. It was an older building, but the apartments inside were freshly remodeled and it was a very secure building in a good neighborhood.

  “Good luck to you, son. You have my best wishes with your bride-to-be.”

  I handed him a fifty dollar bill. “Keep it. And thank you,” I smiled before I slung my bag over my shoulder and bolted up the stairs and into the building. The doormen all knew me, and so I waved and rushed past him into the elevators.

  “Hello there! Is it Dr. Matthews yet?”

  “In a few months, David!”

  I rode the elevator up to the eleventh floor, so excited that it felt like my skin was crawling around on my body. I pulled her apartment key out of my pocket and slipped it into the lock, opening the door as quietly as I could. I nudged the door open slowly and sighed in relief when only darkness met me. I caught the door and held it, letting it close carefully. I turned the deadbolt softly, set my bag down next to the door and kicked off my shoes.

  I was dying of thirst so I went to the refrigerator where Julia would have bottled water en mass but was assaulted with the beautiful cake she’d made sitting on the shelf. It looked like it came from a bakery, but I knew better. She’d kill me if I cut into it until she was ready to let me, but it was hard to resist. I slammed the water and then tiptoed down the hall to Julia’s room.

  The apartment was shrouded in darkness and the scent of her was everywhere. My breathing sped up when I got to her room. I could hear her breathing softly, obviously deep in sleep. The comforter was slung low on her hips and she was on her back, her left arm flung above her head and her glorious dark hair flowing all over the pillow.

  I knelt next to the bed and looked into her beautiful face. She was relaxed and her lips were open slightly. She licked them and turned toward me. My body tightened as the sweet warmth of her breath washed over my face. I longed to kiss her but debated about waking her. She looked so peaceful but my hand snuck out and brushed a lock of her hair back and then the back of my fingers brushed across the silky skin of cheek.

  “Uhhhhh…” she sighed deeply and my name escaped with the expelled breath. “Ryan…please.”

  I was throbbing and twitching before, but now my cock was hard as steel and I had an overwhelming need to bury myself inside her moist heat. She would be hot and wet and so receptive. I knew it as well as I knew my own name…as certain as my love for her. She was dreaming about us making love. An immense rush of love and lust overwhelmed me. My decision was made; there was no way I wasn’t giving in to the need.

  I sto
od up and went to the foot of the bed, stripping off my clothes and watching her writhe and moan, calling to me with the siren’s song of her sighs and low whimpers. Even if I’d known touching her now would mean my certain death, I wouldn’t have been able to fucking stop myself.

  I could see her white lace string bikini panties, dipping low on her hip bones, hinting at the treasure I craved, and her little t-shirt that came to just above her waist did little to hide the glorious roundness and hard pebble nipples from my view.

  I lifted the bottom of the comforter and the sheet and crawled beneath it, moving up her body, ghosting my mouth along her supple thighs until I reached the front of her lace and silk covered mound. I rested my forehead on her tummy just above the edge of her panties so I could inhale her scent and ran my hands up the outside of her thighs. She moaned softly and arched her back. I wanted her so damn bad and she was responding to my touch even in sleep…responding to me in automatic recognition that I was the one touching her. I ran my tongue along the top edge of her panties and tasted the sweetness of her skin.

  “Julia…” I breathed as my right hand moved up and slid below the hem of her shirt, over her firm flesh until I cupped her perfect breast. She arched into it as my left index finger hooked under the side of her panties and pulled them down.

  I was already naked and I longed to feel my skin on hers, my entire body up against the heaven of her curves that fitted so perfectly to my harder frame. I moved up and placed my open mouth on the curve of her neck, sucking lightly as my knee nudged hers apart and my fingers parted the soft, hot flesh between her legs.

  “Uhhhhh…” The breath ripped out of my body at the wetness I found there and her arms slid around my body pulling me to her, her fingers clawing at my flesh.

  “Ryan…” my mouth found hers in a soft kiss as I urged her to wake up. I sucked her bottom lip in between mine, pulling on it again and again as I started moving my finger in small circles on her tender flesh.

  Her mouth came alive under mine, as she kissed me back, sucking on my mouth like I was sucking on hers. Nothing on earth compared to being with her like this; staking my claim on her and letting her know how much she owned me as well.

  Her hands slid into my hair as she pulled my mouth closer, my tongue making love to hers until we were both gasping. I couldn’t help it, I was moving, grinding against her hip, unconsciously seeking a way to ease the ache.

  Her lips pulled from mine and her love-soft eyes opened slowly, languidly. Luminous, she looked into mine, realizing that she wasn’t dreaming, that I was indeed with her and she was on the verge of coming. Her hips arched toward my hand and she moaned.

  “Am I dreaming? God, you feel so real. You smell and taste like you, too.”

  “Mmmm…So real, my love. Surprise. Are you surprised?” A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth, but she was beyond speaking as I continued to play with her. Her legs started trembling and I thrust three fingers inside her and continued the pressure against her clit with my thumb, making her cry out as her pleasure overtook her. “That’s it, Julia. I love to see you come under my hands. You’re so damn beautiful.”

  “Ryan. Uhnnn, God…Kiss me…I can’t believe you’re here.”

  I fell into her and took her mouth with mine as she wrapped her arms and legs around me. She was trembling and I loved that I could bring her such intense pleasure. It filled me up. I wanted to take care of her in every way.

  I dragged my mouth off of hers, and kissed her neck below her ear. “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love. I couldn’t bear to be away from you today. And I made it with a whole hour to spare,” I said softly as I pulled back, longing to see the look on her face. We were still entwined and I throbbed in anticipation of what was coming. The blood raced so fast that it pounded in my ears and engorged my cock to the point of bursting.

  “I love you.” Her fingers traced my face softly. “Ryan, so much.” I thought I saw sadness in her eyes and my brow fell.

  “Baby, is something wrong?”

  She got a little crinkle between her eyes and dropped her eyes for a split second before bringing them back to my face and smiling softly. She shook her head ever so slightly. “No…I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you, Ryan.” Her voice broke slightly on my name.

  “Oh, honey…it’s almost over now, right? When I leave you this time, it will be for the last time. We made it through it all.” I pushed her shirt up and she lifted her arms so I could slide it up and off. I wadded it up and threw it aside, hungry to get my hands on her naked breasts. “I missed you so badly,” I breathed against the skin of her shoulder. I lifted her up until she was kneeling with me on the bed. My hands moved over her velvet skin, paying homage to every swell and curve.

  My body was screaming for release, it had been so long since I’d touched her and I wanted her in a position that would allow my hands easy access to increase her pleasure.

  “Julia, I’m wound so tight, I’m not sure how long I can make this last and I want to take care of you,” I explained as I moved us both to the head of the bed and turned her around in my arms so her back was plastered up against the front of my body. She responded as only Julia would do. Her arms lifted around my neck, hands fisting in my hair as she arched into me again, grinding her ass against my erection. The friction was almost more than I could bear and I moaned into the curve of her shoulder as I dragged my mouth along it, kissing and suckling her skin. My hands roamed over her perfect breasts and taut stomach, pulling on her nipples lightly until she was gasping in response.

  “Honey, is this okay?” I rasped out as I pressed into her, seeking the warmth and wetness of her body.

  She nodded, not speaking and slid one hand down the side of my body to grasp at my ass and pull me toward her. She leaned forward slightly and braced herself, placing her free hand on the wall, preparing for the force of my entry.

  I found her entrance and slid into her from behind. With her legs closer together, she was even tighter than usual. “Uhnnn, Julia. I love you.”

  “Mmmm…” she moaned as I filled her, stretching and pushing into her. My head fell to her shoulder and I held onto her with both arms around her, one hand cupping a breast and the other sliding down to touch her sensitive flesh. “Uhhhh…” She let out her breath in a rush as I moved in and out of her in long, deep strokes. It didn’t take long and I had her quivering on the brink of orgasm and I was gasping, trying desperately to stop my own release until I was sure she was satisfied.

  I stared down at her alabaster back, the dark silk of her hair flowing down almost to her waist. “You are so beautiful…so sexy. Julia, I’m not going to be able to stop now.” My fingers slid deeper down her body to feel where my body was joining her and it was so fucking erotic I almost lost it. Here was evidence of my possession of this gorgeous woman; this glorious woman who gave of herself so freely to me in so many ways. My breathing was rough and she was panting with me. I wanted her to feel what I was feeling.

  I pulled her hand down, mine over hers and guiding it down her stomach and pubic mound until she could feel me pumping into her body. “Ryan,” she whispered, her head turning to nestle into my neck.

  I left her hand where it was and then moved mine up to rub and pinch her clit. Almost instantly she clenched around my dick and I lost complete control and slammed into her as deeply as I could while my orgasm consumed me in waves. We were both jerking against each other as our bodies rode out the climax. I moved my hands gently up her body and ran a series of soft kisses over her shoulders as she milked me dry. My heart was swollen to the point of bursting. The passion between us never ceased to amaze me.

  “Holy hell…” I breathed against her skin. “I am still so in love…I’ll never get enough of you. Every time…I’m undone.” I wrapped both of my arms around her pulling her back against me as I slipped out of her body, instantly feeling the loss.

  She was silent as I laid her back down on the bed and pulled her close to me. She curled into m
e and pressed her lips to my neck. I wrapped my arms around her as her leg slipped between the two of mine. She was tired, but I was anxious to talk to her. I needed her voice and her words.

  “How did you manage it?” she asked quietly as she nuzzled against me. If she didn’t stop the gentle play of her lips and hands, we wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon.

  “I just told my advisor that I needed a couple of days and worked my ass off to make it up in advance. He talked to my professors. I couldn’t stand not touching you today.” I smiled into the darkness and kissed the top of her head. “Were you surprised?”

  “Mmmm huh,” she mumbled. “I thought I was dreaming.”

  “I’m pretty sure you were dreaming when I came in here. You were calling my name. It was perfect. And then, when I started to touch you, you responded automatically.”

  “Yes. Because it’s you.” Her voice was quiet and she sounded sleepy.

  “The way we are together…I can’t live without you anymore. I’m done.”

  Her arms tightened around me and she sighed heavily as she pressed close to me.

  “I love you…”

  “I love you, too, baby girl. It’s late and you have to work tomorrow, yes?”

  “I’d only planned on taking half a day off on Friday, so yeah. Maybe Meredith will take pity on me if you come in and show her your pouty face. I hate to leave you alone all day.” I smiled and nuzzled her forehead and used her leg between mine to pull her tighter against me. She smelled of vanilla and musk and sex and I sucked it into my lungs like it was nectar.

  “Oh, that’s okay. I’ll sleep in, meet you for lunch and come back here and take a fork to that luscious looking confection in the refrigerator.” My fingers brushed her cheek as my lids got heavy.

  “I’ll expect you to cut a piece, not dig into the whole thing, Matthews,” she admonished and I could imagine the rolling of her eyes in the darkness as she snuggled closer to me.

  “We’ll see how strong my willpower is. It’s bad enough that I had that nightie in my pocket all damn day. I felt like a dog with rabies! My mouth was watering, my body was shaking and I was literally going insane. If you keep that up, I’ll never graduate.”