The Palace Job

by Patrick Weekes

  Tern was still tinkering with the vault door. It glowed with a pearly radiance, and Tern pulled more things out of her pockets every few seconds. "Tern?" Loch called. "We have a problem?"

  "I'm sure we're fine!" Tern called back. "But if anyone can make a broken additive-magic algorithm stop from overloading and blowing us all halfway to the Empire, that would be great."

  I will attempt to assist you. Ululenia closed her eyes, and her horn blazed in the dim light of the room.

  "As will I." Desidora grew pale again, and Kail nervously took a step away.

  The zombie finished whatever story he was telling Dairy with a laugh that made a bit of his nose fall off, and Dairy lurched back in surprise, lost his balance, and fell into Tern, who banged one of her crystals heavily against the vault. With a short musical chime, the pearly radiance faded.

  Everyone looked at Dairy. Everyone looked at Loch.

  "To be fair, that could have been one of us," Desidora said. "Sorry!" Dairy cried. "Tern, did I mess anything up?"

  "You're doing fine, Dairy." Tern's eyes were wide as she looked at him, and she turned back to the safe. "I'll just... yeah.

  You're fine."

  "Lucky charm," Loch murmured to Hessler.

  "Your amoral plan has a tiny problem, Captain." Hessler leaned in close. "Bi'ul appears to be the Champion of Dusk. You've just put a sixteen-year-old boy in the same palace as the thing that's going to fight him to determine the fate of the world!"

  The vault opened.

  "Hah! Take that, stupid ancients!"

  "Besyn larveth'isr

  "Er, no offense."

  "I was really hoping that tingly feeling was just youthful vigor," Loch muttered. She stepped into the vault chamber, a featureless room of black stone lit only by pale crystals overhead.

  In the middle of the room, a single book lay alone on a square of velvet. Loch picked it up, folded in the corners to turn the velvet square into a velvet bag, and ushered everyone else in.

  "You knew that too?" Hessler's face reddened with what looked like the academic version of a killing rage.

  "Found out at the party," Loch said quietly, "which is why I sent him out to you. Relax, Magister. If the world falls into eternal night, that's going to hurt my plans to sell this book and get very rich." She smiled. "Now come on. The hardest part's over. Everybody ready?" She looked around. "Tern, activate the failsafe and transport us out of here."

  Tern traced a pattern into a crystal panel on the wall. "Everyone get ready. This might feel a bit—"

  With a great crash, the vault door slammed shut and the lights went out.

  "Hessler, light. Tern?" Loch asked, pinching the bridge of her nose.

  Tern's voice was carefully steady. "I'm sure it's just a—"

  A great metallic screech cut off the rest of what she was saying.

  Hessler's magic illuminated the room and Loch saw the ceiling closing down on them.

  Twenty-Two

  Ambassador Bi'ul reformed in his guest room some time later. Very little could hurt him in this world, since the foolish mortals were interacting with a shadow-formed simulacrum made manifest across the worlds.

  Nevertheless, the sheer energy of the conduit had been too much for him. He had been forced to give it up as lost and go through the tiresome process of re-forming a shadow in which to place his consciousness again.

  He made himself a little taller this time.

  When he finished, fully solid and glowing radiantly, he returned to the room where the mortals had gathered to engage in their social charades.

  He found Silestin, who was speaking with the Urujar girl and a young man wearing a noble's vestments.

  "Now, Naria, this man is from a wonderful house, and—"

  "Your palace is being robbed," Bi'ul greeted Silestin. "Some mortals were vandalizing an energy conduit, likely to disable a security ward."

  What Bi'ul liked about Silestin, in as much as he liked anything in this pitiful world, was that Silestin could dismiss the casual charades of this world almost as well as Bi'ul himself. "Take a walk, Naria," said the Archvoyant, and dismissed the young man as well. He pressed a small crystal on one of his rings, and a moment later Elkinsair arrived. "The ambassador here indicates that we are being robbed. Any thoughts?"

  The little security chief paled. "I was examining the entry wards, but detected no changes within the... of course, if they are already inside... I will see to it directly, sir."

  "Good man. Inform the others. Bi'ul, I am in your debt." Silestin nodded to him, then walked off, the matter evidently concluded.

  What Bi'ul respected about Silestin was that phrases like "I am in your debt" were constructed to avoid mentioning exactly how that debt would be paid.

  "Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention," said Elkinsair. "I take such things quite seriously —"

  "I was discorporated while dealing with the thieves," Bi'ul said. "If I am inconvenienced again in any way, I will ensure that you remain alive while I violate you with the fused vertebrae of your own spinal column."

  Elkinsair swallowed. "That seems fair, Ambassador."

  Then he trotted off, and Ambassador Bi'ul decided to mingle.

  Icy had changed out of his guard uniform and into his traditional golden silk robes, which Ululenia had thoughtfully dried for him after leading the other guards away.

  He strode into the palace ballroom with an expression of benign serenity, the picture of the exotic and untouchable Imperial.

  "And on this most important day of victory," Archvoyant Silestin was saying to a quiet room, "we must not forget that no victory is without cost—that even now, we must be prepared to defend the freedom we won from our oppressors."

  Technically, the Republic had started the war, but Icy was confident that it was not taught that way on this side of the border. Some of the guests gave him dark looks.

  "The Republic will defend itself and its legacy of justice wherever they are threatened, be it in the homeland of those who fear our liberty, or here in my own home," Silestin continued. "The Republic demands strength, and I intend to represent our proud heritage without flinching. These recent Imperial assaults upon our financial sovereignty..."

  The Empire was evidently calling in its loans. More people glared at Icy. His disguise as an Imperial ambassador was causing more problems than he had hoped.

  A hand closed over his arm, and he turned and looked into Naria's dark and beautiful face. "You shouldn't be here." Behind the smoked lenses that hid her eyes, he saw the anguish.

  "I agree." Icy nodded. "Neither should you."

  "Indomitable, I cannot —"

  "Are you happy, Naria?" Icy looked at the crowd. "Your adoptive father is scapegoating my homeland for his own purposes. You legitimize his claim by providing the veneer of racial harmony. Does this please you?"

  "What would you have me do?" she demanded. "Become a thief like my sister? I did not ask to represent all Urujar as a noble, but if I must, I must do so with honor."

  "Is this honor?" Icy gestured toward Silestin angrily. "And I have not asked you to join us, Naria. I have only asked you to come with me." As tears slid down Naria's cheeks, Icy stepped in closer. "Meet the sister you believed dead and choose a course for yourself. That is all that I ask."

  A guard, one of the ordinary men who had not been corrupted, was approaching them, and bystanders were murmuring. Icy stepped away and offered Naria a polite bow. "I apologize for upsetting you," he said, and left.

  He was in the outside gardens when her hand slid around his arm, and she leaned in close, her warm skin smelling of exotic spices.

  "Take me to my sister," she whispered. "Take me away from here."

  Loch looked at the descending ceiling. "I'm open to suggestions."

  "The energies of the vault have shifted," Ululenia said, "as new buds shooting forth in the spring."

  "I'm open to relevant suggestions."

  "Hey, what could be more fun than cra
cking the vault from the inside?" Tern muttered, kneeling in front of the door with a small crystal rod between her teeth and a pair of tiny copper tweezers in her hands. "With, you know, a running hourglass."

  "It's shielded," Hessler said. "Ululenia, can you put what you sense into my... thank you. It's... it's incredibly complex, Loch. Someone has tampered with the artifacts of the ancients to an absurd degree. When we tried to activate the teleportation failsafe—"

  "I'm less concerned with cause than effect, Magister." Loch raised her hands experimentally, braced herself, and utterly failed to halt the ceiling's descent. "Okay, that's not going to work. How's it coming, Tern?"

  "Oh, are we under time pressure? I hadn't noticed."

  "If you can't do it..." Loch dropped to her knees as the ceiling bumped her head gently. "Priestess?"

  "The vault's shielding the magical auras," Desidora said. In the pale light Hessler had created, her skin was already chalk-white. "Even if the unicorn puts the images into my mind, it would take too much power to manipulate them from here."

  "Too much?" Loch asked as everyone slowly dropped to their knees. "How much is too much?"

  Desidora's hair began to writhe. "I might have the necessary power if I drained the souls of every living person in this vault," she said coldly. "I assume that you do not consider that a viable option."

  "Not for the moment. Ululenia, how big can you get? Could you do a bear or something?"

  "Besyn larveth'is?" Ghylspwr asked, jerking in Desidora's hand toward the ceiling.

  "I'm almost sure that would be a bad idea," Kail said. "Uh, Tern, do you need help? What does Icy do?"

  "The safe isn't usually closing on him, and he's usually not off trying to redeem Loch's sister."

  "My sister? He's off with Naria?" Loch had to duck her head, even down on her knees.

  "He's got a soft spot for damsels in distress."

  Loch opened her mouth to respond, and at that moment, the vault door opened.

  "Trouble?" Silestin Senior asked, and then shuffled aside as everyone scrambled out.

  "Your grandson did something to the transport rune," Loch muttered. Behind her, the vault ceiling clanked into the ground. "The gods only know what."

  "Actually," Hessler began, "while trying to map the magical patterns, I believe that I have calculated—"

  "Am I going to like it?"

  Hessler squinted, opened his mouth, and then closed it. "No."

  "Any reason you can't tell me later?"

  Hessler sighed. "No."

  "Then off we go." Loch turned to the group. "Nothing fancy. Ululenia, you and Hessler are with the kid. Priestess, take Kail and Tern. I don't care how, and I don't care how much noise you make. Just get yourselves out safely. We meet in the alley by Cevirt's palace."

  "What about you?" Kail asked.

  "I'll be along," Loch said grimly, and shoved the velvet into Dairy's hands. "Just keep running when the alarms go off. Silestin, thank you for the assistance."

  The zombie grinned. "Pleasure to watch you work, Captain."

  She nodded, gave them all one last look, and then rolled out her shoulders and started running.

  It was evening in the Republic. Heaven's Spire had left RosOanki and was making its way through the night sky toward the next city.

  This turned out to be fortunate.

  An hour before midnight, Warden Tawyer, who was hosting a small Victory Ball of his own, received an emergency message from a runner reporting unusual activity from the lapiscaela.

  The warden was almost to the Cleaners before the wave of energy ripped through the city and knocked him clean off his feet.

  Nobody at the Cleaners saw what happened firsthand. The prisoners were in their cells for the evening, and of the guards who patrolled the grid during the evening, no trace was ever found.

  But everyone who could make it to the Rim could look over the edge and see the great crater burned into the ground below.

  Archvoyant Silestin was on his feet moments after the shockwave knocked everyone to the ground. Unlike most of the people in the room, he had absolutely no doubt what had just happened. "We hit a mountain or something?" he called to the chief lapitect with a laugh. The lapitect, pale and already fiddling with his damned crystals, gave a weak chuckle, and Silestin turned to the nobles he'd been talking to. "Excuse me, gentlemen. I expect I've got a few meetings to get to."

  Elkinsair was by his side moments later. "Sir, it appears—"

  "Noted. How are we coming on that break-in I was just warned about, Security Chief?" Silestin put a little acid on Elkinsair's title.

  "I'll have a status report for you in one hour," Elkinsair said without hesitation. "But based on my current information, it must be your personal vault."

  Silestin nodded, thinking hard. The most pressing question was how much truth to mix in with the story. "The ball is over. Security precautions in light of the night's events. Get people out, then release the hounds. Full aggression."

  "It will take time for everyone to get outside," Elkinsair pointed out.

  "Then the criminals who just attacked may claim a few more victims," Silestin said calmly. "Get me Bi'ul and then get to work." Elkinsair left without another word.

  Silestin straightened his formal jacket and adjusted his sword. The public story would be a maintenance error. The chief lapitect could come up with someone to throw on the pyre. Behind closed doors, the solemn declaration could be more pointed, but he'd have to be careful...

  Captain Pyvic of the justicars was beside him suddenly. The man had a bruise coming up nicely along his jaw. "Archvoyant," he said grimly, "I believe you're being robbed."

  "I'm aware of that, Captain," Silestin said without heat. Still, it did him good to see the young man adjusting to his new role. "What can you tell me, other than that you got yourself knocked cold by one of them?"

  "It's Isafesira de Lochenville," Pyvic said. "I found her in your quarters and tried to stop her."

  "Looks like it worked out well for you, Pyvic." Silestin smiled sourly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, this parry just ended. The malfunction with the lapiscaela requires my attention."

  Pyvic snorted. "That was no malfunction, Archvoyant. And if I'm the captain of the justicars..."

  "Then you'll tell the story I want you to tell," Silestin said sharply. "If we go around saying that an Imperial saboteur tried to destroy the Spire and blew a three-acre hole in the ground below instead, we'll have panic in the streets." Pyvic paled as Silestin went on. "You served in the military, Pyvic. You don't order your army to charge until everybody's standing up with their boots laced and a weapon in hand. Your job is to keep the peace. My job is to make that peace possible. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

  Not as refined as he'd have preferred, but it would do.

  Captain Pyvic bowed and stepped aside. Silestin exchanged grim nods with a few Voyants as he left the ballroom, and met Ambassador Bi'ul at the entrance to his personal quarters.

  "Someone activated your weapon prematurely," the Glimmering Man said without preamble as he fell into step beside Silestin.

  "Looks that way," Silestin agreed pleasantly. "Elkinsair thinks they used the vault."

  "I did note that a misfire was likely for anyone attempting to utilize the escape rune."

  "If you would accompany me, I'd like to make certain that they're gone."

  "Not at all, Archvoyant." Bi'ul smiled, a glittering rainbow across his lips. "I never tire of making myself useful to you."

  They walked through Silestin's personal quarters. A few of Silestin's personal attendants lay unmoving, but he ignored them for now.

  Finally, they reached the vault. The door was open, and as Bi'ul had told him would be the case, the ceiling had collapsed in order to merge the crystal matrixes required to power the weapon. Standing by the vault was a long-dead figure that Silestin recognized after a moment as a relative.

  "Used you to beat the security systems, did they?" Silestin asked dryly.<
br />
  The zombie grinned gruesomely. "My grandson doesn't miss a trick."

  "What were they in here for?"

  "The Urujar woman has a code of honor." The zombie snorted. "All she wanted was something you stole from her father."

  Archvoyant Silestin threw back his head and laughed long and loud.

  When he was done, he gestured at the zombie with one signet-ringed fist. "Goodbye, grandfather." A blast of lightning leapt slammed into the zombie, driving it to the ground sizzling. Silestin let the electricity play over his ancestor until only a charred husk remained, and then he turned to Bi'ul.

  "The elven manuscript?" Bi'ul asked politely.

  Silestin's smile was wolfish. "At last."

  Twenty-Three

  "So what do we do now, Ululenia?" Dairy asked as they tromped through the hallways. Ululenia was in her human form, but she was letting her horn show and making guards and servants fall asleep.

  "Now, my virgin," she said with a sly smile, and Dairy felt the tingly feeling again, more like he'd felt while Loch had torn her dress apart than the way he'd felt when the Glimmering Man had looked at him, "we shall leave this palace and then spend the night sharing a room in the most expensive inn in the city."

  "Ululenia," Mister Hessler said firmly, "you are not corrupting the boy."

  "Is the room expensive enough to have two beds?" Dairy asked, and Ululenia laughed and stroked his cheek, and then she stopped, and her eyes went cold, and she and Mister Hessler spun around.

  A thin little man in a long robe was standing before them. "Well," he tittered, "not only am I to guard the safety of my master's palace, but now I must guard the honor of this helpless young man."

  "Elkinsair." Ululenia narrowed her eyes and stepped between Dairy and the little man.

  "Ululenia," said the little man, and his smile was small and cruel.

  "You know each other?" Mister Hessler asked.

  "Passing acquaintance," Elkinsair said, and then rolled his eyes. "Oh, dear. Ample assets, buxom barmaid, comely courtesan, am I getting it right? If it's alliteration that excites you, how about unoriginal, unctuous, undefended unicorn?" And he pursed his lips and squinted.