by Apollo Surge
“What? But he never told me…”
“He didn’t want you to worry. He didn’t want you to think him weak. That is why he has been so distant with you. He’s tried to keep himself from feeling such powerful emotions to ensure that he keeps balance. Kept balance at least…I suppose I should start referring to him in the past tense.”
Will moved to his mother and cupped her face in his hands.
“I will make him pay for this mother. Brandon has no right to come and do what he did. I will show him that his bloodline is not meant to rule. This has not ended. I will finish what father begun.”
“No,” Delilah said. Will looked shocked.
“We cannot let him get away with this!” Will said. Charlie was weak, but he agreed with Will.
“Look at you Will, you have a family to take care of. Charlie needs you. You need to get him to a doctor.”
“I can’t leave you mother.”
“You must, for the sake of your child. You are no good to him dead. I know it has not been easy, that your father and I made mistakes, but we loved you more than anything Will. We tried to do our best, even when it seems like we were punishing you we hoped that you would learn. We did not take the decision to exile you lightly, but we felt that you weren’t paying due respect to your duties, that you didn’t understand what it meant to carry the burden of a bloodline. Please, take care of your family. This clan will survive, but if you stay here Brandon will make your life a living hell. You know this is true. He will want to make you pay for your father’s crimes, will want to ensure that our bloodline ends with you. You must leave now, before he has a chance to come and end this.”
Will looked torn. What little color was left on Charlie’s face drained away at the thought that anyone would want to harm his unborn child.
“He wouldn’t…” Charlie said.
“He would,” Will growled. “I will come back. I promise you that I will take my rightful place and lead this clan, just as my father led. But please, you must come with us. It isn’t safe for you here.”
Delilah shook her head firmly. “My place is with your father. I must see that he is given the proper burial. Go, now, before it is too late.”
Will nodded and helped Charlie to his feet. The sudden movement made lights dance in front of Charlie’s eyes again, but once he steadied himself he thought that he would be okay.
“You know who to look for, don’t you?” Delilah said. Will nodded. “I love you, and even though you may not believe it your father did too. All we wanted was to see you happy.”
She gave Will a quick hug, and then did the same for Charlie.
“Take care of him,” she whispered into Charlie’s ear. The three of them walked outside and heard the sound of Brandon boasting of his victory. Will tensed. Brandon was standing over the fallen wolf, holding his arms out wide in triumph. The other wolves were all standing around, some of them in rapture at the show of strength, others afraid of denying his authority after the savagery that had been on display.
“Has the son come to avenge the father? If you wish to challenge me, I will accept,” Brandon said upon seeing Will. For a moment, Charlie thought that Will was going to accept. Charlie could sense the raging turbulence that was crashing through Will’s soul. Will stepped forward and faced Brandon.
“You have won, Brandon. You’ve got what you always wanted, but bear this in mind. I will come back one day, and I will avenge my father. I will put right what you have wronged.”
“I look forward to the day you try,” Brandon said, and then clapped his hands and returned to address the crowd. Charlie could tell that Will really wanted to fight Brandon, but secretly Charlie was glad he refused. The two men left the wolf society and returned to the car that had been left there. Neither of them spoke. Will was too troubled, and Charlie was in too much pain.
They left the forest behind and returned to the bright, vibrant city. It was teeming with people, but after what they had just witnessed they each felt alone. They returned to Will’s apartment, and as he pulled up Charlie reached over and placed his hand on Will’s squeezing it tightly. Will leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Charlie wished he knew the right thing to say, but what could he say? Will’s father had just been brutally murdered, and once again he had been forced to leave his home.
“I love you,” Charlie said. It was the only thing he could say.
“I love you too,” Will said, so much pain and anguish contained within those small four words.
Chapter Four
Will led Charlie up to his apartment, supporting him in case he had a faint spell again. When they were inside, Charlie went to the couch, while Will changed into some more comfortable clothes and poured himself a drink. He was about to offer Charlie one when he remembered that drinking wasn’t going to be a good idea in his condition. As soon as he finished one, he poured himself another, and then a third.
“Hey, take it easy,” Charlie said softly. Will was about to last out, but held his tongue. He held the third drink in his hand and breathed into the bitter smell. The golden liquid swirled around the glass, the ice clinked softly. He brought it to his lips, so close that he could taste the relief, then put it down on the counter as Charlie asked him to sit. Will joined him, but a moment after he had sat down he was up again, not wanting to stay still.
“Every time I close my eyes I see him,” Will said.
“I’m sorry this happened Will. If there’s anything I can do…I want you to know that whatever you need from me I’ll give you. If you need to go back and fight him I’ll be right there by your side. He deserves to pay for what he’s done.”
Will flashed him a smile. Charlie was sweet.
“No. Mother is right. I have other priorities now. I have to be by your side. You are still not safe. He may come after you, or me. I doubt it, since he has what he wants. There was a time when I knew exactly what was on his mind, but now…he’s a different person.”
“It sounds like all of you had complicated relationships. But I don’t think we should talk about Brandon any more, at least not right now. We should talk about your father.”
“There is nothing more I have to say,” Will said, turning his back on Charlie. He walked to the wide windows of his apartment and looked out over the city. The bright lights twinkled, the stars were faint overhead. Cars snaked through the city, and a million souls dealt with their personal problems. He was just one in a sea of many.
“Will, you know that can’t be true. Your father just died. It’s okay to feel things. It’s okay to be sad and angry and hurt. Just tell me. It’s important that you don’t keep these things bottled in.”
“Of course I’m angry! I’m angry and Brandon, at myself, at him,” Will said, assuming that Charlie would know the ‘him’ referred to Thomas.
“Why are you angry at yourself?” Charlie asked.
“Because I should have done more to save him, because I should have been there in his last moments, because the last thing I told him was cruel, because part of me feels like I should forgive him, and part of me still can’t excuse all he put me through.”
“Is that why you’re angry at him?”
“Yes, and because he never gave me an inch. He had so many ideas of what I should have been that he never just looked at me for what I was, he never accepted me. Even at the end he only welcomed me back because I was finally able to serve the bloodline. Sometimes it felt like the legacy was more important than the people involved in it. And I’m angry at him for dying, because it wasn’t his time. And I’m proud of him for being a good leader and trying to defend his clan, but that can’t excuse what type of father he was. And then I’m scared that I’m going to turn out to be just like him. Brandon ended up just like his father, and I don’t want to be like mine. I don’t want to drive my child away,” Will said, hanging his head. Tears welled in his eyes and his voice cracked with emotion when he spoke. Charlie left the couch and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his head to
Will’s back.
“I know that you won’t,” Charlie said. “You’re not your father, and you’re not Brandon. You’re Will. You learn from your mistakes, and I know that this child is going to be surrounded by love, no matter what happens. As far as I’m concerned you don’t have any duty except to love me and my child. I know this bloodline is important to you, but that doesn’t have to be our life. This could be a clean break if you wanted it to be.”
“No,” Will said tersely. “I am a wolf and I have my duty. I cannot stand by and let Brandon take control of the clan. I cannot allow my father to go without being avenged.”
“You don’t have to do this out of some sense of obligation to your father. You’re never going to make him proud.”
Will turned to face Charlie, a look of bemusement on his face.
“I am not doing this for my father, Charlie. I’m doing this for our child. I need to set a good example.”
“But I saw him Will. He was a monster,” his voice rippled with fear.
“The last thing my father asked of me was for us to live there and to raise our child in the settlement. He told me that I had never taken things seriously, and perhaps I had not. But seeing him die, knowing that he was taken away in that moment made me realize how important the bloodline is. Seeing him fight filled me with pride, and I know that I must do all I can to ensure the legacy of my family.”
Charlie pulled his arms away. Will turned to face him, and smelled the confusion.
“I don’t understand this, Will. One moment you’re saying that you’re angry at him, and that you don’t want to be like him, the next you want to get involved in the blood war. I don’t know how to feel about this.”
“You don’t have to feel anything,” Will growled. “It is not something that outsiders understand. I and my father had our difficulties, but now that he is dead it falls to me to continue the legacy. I cannot abide the insult on my family name, and I cannot let Brandon get away with his betrayal.”
“You promised to protect me. How are you going to do that and go after Brandon as well?”
“He will have to wait,” Will said
“Until when? Until the baby is born? Until they’ve grown up? Are you really going to go into battle against this monster and risk losing your life? Are you going to expect our child to avenge you? Am I going to have to lose both of you?” Charlie said.
Will closed his eyes. There were moments when he wished Charlie was a wolf. There were so many things that were beyond his comprehension, and it seemed as though Will was not adept at explaining them. They were intrinsic, instinctive things that nobody but a wolf could ever know.
“I see that you have faith in me,” Will said.
“It’s not about faith Will. I saw that man, what he became. I don’t want you to end up like your father.”
“Then we share the same desire. I don’t wish to argue with you about this,” he said
“I don’t either. This is a time when we should be closer, but you can’t make these decisions without consulting me. We have another life to think of now, and there’s a lot that we haven’t spoken about yet, like where we’re going to live, or how we’re going to raise our child. I knew it was a possibility to live in that settlement, but I’d be missing a lot from the city, not to mention my friends.”
“This is not the time to be speaking of these matters.”
“Then when is?” Charlie challenged.
Will exhaled slowly. There were so many things on his mind. This was the last thing he needed. He loved Charlie deeply, but there were moments when he remembered why he enjoyed a solitary life. It was far less complicated.
“I don’t know. All I know is right now I need to mourn. I’m sorry that I can’t give you all the answers you need, or that I can’t be everything you want. I am a wolf, and I cannot deny that part of me, no matter how dangerous it may be.”
“I’m not asking you too,” Charlie said, getting closer once again, his voice returning to its usual softness. “All I’m asking is that we talk about things before you make any reckless decisions. I’m sorry for arguing with you. I know it’s not the time or place for that. You’re right, you should mourn. I guess I’m just worried as well. I haven’t been feeling myself.”
“We will see a doctor tomorrow. There is one who can help us in these matters.”
“Okay,” Charlie said, brightening a little. Will held out his hand and led Charlie back to the couch, where they sank down and wrapped their arms around each other. They pressed their foreheads against each other and closed their eyes. Will breathed in Charlie’s scent. He smelled of honey and happiness. The heat from their breath swirled between them, and in this cocoon they were as one. Will’s breathing slowed to a satisfied crawl, the anger melted away and sadness bloomed.
“Tell me something about him, something from your childhood,” Charlie asked.
Most of Will’s memories of his father were tinged with bitterness and frustration. Recent ones were filled with anger, but even from his childhood he had been frustrated. It always felt as though his father wanted him to be something more than he was, something different, as though nothing was ever good enough to please him. When Will expressed these feelings, Charlie replied that it seemed to be a constant of fathers everywhere.
“The only times I really felt close to him were when he took me hunting. It was just the two of us, out in the wild, without any thoughts of legacies or bloodlines or duties. We could simply live like wolves in the wild, and I loved learning from him. He taught me so much about how to track prey and where to fight. I listened dutifully. Back then I wanted to be everything he needed, for I didn’t know that it would be an unattainable goal. It seemed so simple to please him. All I had to do was hunt the animal and bring it back, and he was happy. It got more complicated as I got older.”
As Will thought back to those times when he was young, he became nostalgic for those moments. The simple joy of a father spending time with his son had been absent from his life for a long time. He’d almost forgotten how rewarding it had been.
“I wonder if he ever thought back to those times and realized that he had made a mistake,” Will said.
“I’d like to think so. I’m sure that he did love you, even though he may not have shown it in the way you’d have liked.”
“That’s what mother says, although I’m not so sure. I suppose I’ll never find out now. I just hate that my last conversation with him was an argument. There’s no taking that back.”
“You know, at some point you’re going to have to tell our little one about him. Are you going to tell them the truth?”
“We’ll see. Hopefully by then I’ll have come to terms with how I really feel about him.”
The two of them stayed there for some time, ensconced in each other’s arms. Tears stung at Will’s eyes, anger simmered in his heart. Despite Charlie’s protests, Will was determined to get revenge on Brandon, and probably sooner than Charlie would like. Will had had his problems with his father, but that didn’t give Brandon the right to go unchallenged. Will was beginning to understand why his father had held their legacy in such high regard, and although he told himself he wasn’t going to be as obsessed with it as Thomas was, he still needed to pay it proper respect.
Chapter Five
Eventually, the two of them carried each other to the bed where they slept. Charlie awoke before Will, feeling nauseous. The room spun, and it was a while before the feeling subsided. He pulled himself out of bed and gingerly walked to the other room where he made himself some breakfast, wanting something as bland as possible.
He knew that worrying wasn’t going to do himself any good, but that didn’t stop him. There were so many things that could go wrong. A miracle had happened to him, but miracles by their definition were unnatural, and there was another word for anything that went against nature: an abomination.
Charlie wanted this so much that he was afraid of it being taken from him. The chances of having a
miscarriage must have been higher for him than usual, and at the moment he was in the dark about everything that could have gone wrong. Will had so much on his plate already that he didn’t want to lay this on him as well, especially not after they had almost had an argument last night, so he called up Lisa.
“Hey! I wasn’t sure when I was going to hear from you. Are you alright?” she said.
“Yeah, kinda, it’s a long story. I’m back in the city for the time being.”
“Oh, did things with his parents not go as well as you had hoped?”
“Not exactly. Well, his dad ended up getting killed by one of Will’s old childhood friends so…”
“Oh my God. Are you alright? Is he?”
“We’re both pretty shaken. I did learn a few things about what’s been happening with me though,” and he repeated what Delilah had told him. “But something else has been happening as well, I wanted to ask you about it. When you were pregnant did you ever get hit by these waves of nausea, and feel like the room was spinning, and then black out?”
“I got morning sickness, but no I can’t say that I ever had anything like that. I think you’d better get yourself checked out, although I guess it’s going to be pretty tricky to see a doctor. What are you going to do?”
“Apparently Will knows someone. We’re going to see them today. I’m just letting him sleep in. He needs his rest. I can’t imagine what he was going through I mean, the two of them weren’t very close, but it’s still affected him. Family is very important to wolves.”
“I can imagine. But Charlie, what exactly are you going through right now? Has there been any bleeding? Have you had any pain inside?”
“No, I just get this feeling like everything is spinning, I can’t concentrate, and then it feels like my knees are giving way under me, and there’s nothing I can do to control it. I don’t know if it’s just tiredness or what, but I’m pretty freaked out. I can’t stop thinking that this shouldn’t be happening. What if I lose the baby, Lisa?”