by Apollo Surge
“Come on, don’t think like that. You always knew this was going to be difficult. Maybe this is a normal side effect of a male pregnancy. Wait until you see the doctor and then go from there. It’s perfectly natural to be worried though. If you remember I used to get scared every time I sneezed, so afraid that anything was going to go wrong. You have a baby inside you, and your body is doing everything it can to give it a safe home. I know it’s not easy, but try to stay relaxed, because worrying isn’t going to solve anything. You’re going to the doctor, and that’s a good step. You can’t do anything until you’ve seen him.”
“I know you’re right, but it’s so hard. I suppose I should have expected this much worry.”
“You can’t expect anything. Oh, I got my parents to babysit and I was going to go to the bar, finally, will you and Will join me? I know you’re going through some stuff, but it would be good to meet him, and just to hang out together.”
“Yeah, I’ll definitely be there. I don’t know about Will. I’ll have to see how he’s feeling. I think that he’ll be up and down for a little while yet. Anyway, I’m going to go and try to wake him up now. I just wanted to let you know what’s going on.”
“Okay, and just remember that everything is going to be fine, no matter what,” Lisa said.
Charlie tried to believe her, but it seemed so difficult. He looked down at his abdomen and placed his palm across the surface, trying to feel the baby inside. It still amazed him that there was a life growing inside him, but there were so many dangers. He wished that Will would turn away from this vengeful path. Charlie didn’t want to be a single father.
Still, that was a discussion for another day. He went into the bedroom and shook Will awake. Will jerked, but quickly calmed as he saw Charlie.
“I was having a nightmare,” he said. Charlie kissed his head and then nestled himself into the nape of Will’s neck, breathing in his musky, manly scent, running his hand along the side of Will’s body.
“You smell so good,” Charlie said.
“And here I was thinking that I need a shower,” Will said. Charlie lifted his head up and kissed him. Their lips brushed together, the heat of their breath almost sparked a fire, but Will pulled away at the last minute.
“I’m sorry Charlie, I just don’t think I’ve got it in me right now,” he said. Will got up from the couch, and Charlie sighed. Charlie watched Will disappear, and then heard the hiss of the shower. There was much that went through Charlie’s mind, but most of all was the fact that he wanted to be there for Will. It was difficult to know exactly what Charlie should do – whether he should give Will some space to process everything that had happened, or if he should press the issue and remind Will that he wasn’t alone in this. After all, Will was the type of man to internalize his emotions, to push people away. Charlie knew it wasn’t anything personal, but it was a habit that had to be broken if the two of them were going to have a happy life together.
The last thing Charlie wanted was for distance to form between them. This was how it started, he thought, a traumatic event happened and two people decided to give each other space, but that space led to them not sharing their emotions with each other. Suddenly the intimacy was lost and the ingredients that had made the relationship special were absent. The shadows of them remained, but it was only a matter of time before they drifted apart completely, the union broken, two shattered souls instead of one complete one.
Charlie bit his lips anxiously. The troubled thoughts tumbled around in his mind, this worst case scenario seeming ever more real the more he thought about it. He tried to tell himself that he and Will were different, that they could raise a defense against this, but the more he thought about it the more he worried that they weren’t different at all, and that they would succumb to the same forces that tore so many other couples apart, and Charlie couldn’t allow that to happen. Not now, not when the future beckoned.
The future…thoughts of that scared him now more than ever. Before, the future had been bleak and murky, with nothing on the horizon for him except an endless trawl through an unfulfilling life. But then a miracle had happened and he’d gotten everything he had ever wanted. That brought with it a whole host of new problems though, new anxieties, the foremost of which was losing all of those new things.
There were so many things he and Will hadn’t spoken about yet, so many things that had to be decided. Charlie had been so happy that he hadn’t really considered the challenges in raising a werewolf, and what the culture meant to Will. He’d seen firsthand from Lisa how difficult it could be raising a child, and Tara was entirely human! Werewolves brought with them more baggage, but would that mean it was more rewarding?
And then there was the visit to the doctor’s. Charlie didn’t feel right at all, and although he tried to follow Lisa’s advice the worry would not leave his mind. Something was definitely wrong with him, and all he could think about was that something was wrong with the baby as well. Even though Will may have needed some space, Charlie needed to be with him. It may have been selfish, but Charlie honestly thought he was doing what was best for them and their relationship.
He rose from the couch and made his way to the shower, peeling off his clothes as he walked, leaving them in a trail behind him. The door was ajar, and a thin wall of steam filtered out. When Charlie entered he was hit by the heat. Will liked it hot. Steam filled the room, the shower curtain was pulled, and the black tiles gleamed. Charlie glanced towards the mirror, but it was heavy with condensation and the reflection was murky and misty.
For a moment he stood there, finding it strange that Will was unaware of his presence. Perhaps this was what it was like before they had met, the two of them going about their lives, separated by the thinnest veil. Charlie pulled back the curtain and stepped into the shower, gasping as the hot water hit his body. It found his thighs first, then his arms, then chest, and soon it had enveloped the entirety of him.
“What are you doing?” Will gasped, water spraying in an arc around his head as he turned to face Charlie. He was in the process of washing. Foamy suds had been captured on his body hair, which was flat and pointing down. Charlie put a hand to Will’s lips and wrapped his arms around Will, holding him tightly.
“I’m not in the right headspace…” Will said.
“Ssh,” Charlie replied. “I just want to be close to you. Don’t fight me away. Not now,” Charlie said. Will could always sense what Charlie truly needed, and in this moment he did not push him away. Instead, he turned around and held out one arm against the wall. Charlie shifted with him, pressing his head against Will’s back and reaching around with his hands, caressing his chest. They stood in silence, their two bodies against each other, separated only by the thin streams of water that trickled between them. Charlie breathed in the musk of Will, which was powerful enough that it could break through the scent of water, and the sweet scent of his soap.
He ran his finger up and down the middle of Will’s chest, feeling the gentle slope of his muscles, and then sighed as he descended. He went slowly, waiting for a word from Will to stop, but such a word never came.
Charlie’s hand descended down, his fingers circling Will’s waist, teasing him, getting ever closer to the treasure. Charlie took so long that Will eventually grew impatient and grabbed Charlie’s hand, pulling it down where it found the thick erection. Charlie smiled at how Will was aroused already, and gladly began to stroke.
A soft grunt burst out of Will’s throat as Charlie began to pleasure him. Charlie felt the rippling veins and the pulsing tension all through Will’s body. He kept his head pressed against Will’s back, feeling the thunder of his heartbeat despite the relentless, crashing water pouring down all around them.
It was easy to lose themselves in the steam. Charlie closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Will’s erection in his hand, strong and stiff. Will gasped and moaned as the pleasure surged through him.
“Oh my God…” he said, when he could form a coherent sen
tence. “I can’t believe how good you are at this.”
Charlie merely grinned. All he wanted was to make Will feel good. With his other hand, he stroked Will’s thigh and explored all the hidden areas that even the penetrating water of the shower couldn’t reach. Charlie lost himself to the heat and the haze, willingly making himself an instrument for Will’s pleasure, gladly doing all he could to make his man, the father of his child, satisfied.
Will’s breaths became short and sharp as pleasure rose through his body and the climax approached nearer. Charlie held on tightly, squeezed, stroked. He rubbed his thumb over Will’s smooth tip. It ached for Charlie’s touch, and twitched of its own accord. Charlie gripped Will’s thigh with his other hand, and then moved it up to hold onto his chest, while he pumped more furiously with his other hand. He knew just how Will liked it by now, slow and steady at the start, and then hard and fast, unrelenting until pleasure exploded out of him. Charlie’s wrist began to hurt, but nothing was going to stop him until he had given Will the perfect orgasm and then suddenly he felt a thick, warm stream pour through his fingers, sliding down. Will shuddered and bowed his head in reverent delight, and Charlie sighed heavenly.
Charlie pulled his hand back and watched the droplets of viscous liquid being swept away by the water. Will turned around and planted a hard kiss on him, a kiss that made his toes curl and his heart skip a beat.
“I think you’re starting to know me better than I know myself,” Will said. “I don’t know if I find that comforting or terrifying.”
Charlie smiled and then took hold of Will’s hand in his. “We have to hold onto this Will, we can’t let anything break this apart. We can have our space, but we can’t lose each other.”
“We won’t, Charlie,” Will said, and kissed him again. Then, he lathered his hands with soap and began to wash Charlie. Charlie turned around and offered Will his body, enjoying the feeling of Will’s hand combined with the warm water. He could actually forget about the thoughts that plagued his mind, for a few moments at least.
Chapter Six
After Will and Charlie had dried themselves, Will looked at Charlie and was overwhelmed with the love that he felt. He’d never believed that he could love anyone this much, and he wasn’t sure that he could ever show Charlie the depths of his feelings either.
“Charlie, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to get angry with you. I’m just so conflicted at the moment. I don’t know where my head is.”
“I guess it’s going to be that way for a while. I almost wish that I had lost someone close to me so that I could imagine what you’re going through, but I’ll try my best to be on the same page.”
“You’re doing just fine,” Will said, smiling sweetly at Charlie. Charlie blushed at this, and Will felt fulfilled at seeing such a reaction from the man who was carrying his child.
His child.
Even thinking about it brought a feeling of awe inside. The news had come as a surprise, but it was a joyous surprise. At the moment, Will’s relationship with Charlie and their expected child was the only golden view on the horizon, and Will was determined to be as devoted to that as possible.
Charlie picked up his clothes from the floor, and then began to make Will breakfast. Will tried to protest, but Charlie insisted, making him some eggs and bacon. As soon as Will smelled the sizzling bacon his stomach rumbled, and was once again forced to admit that Charlie knew him inside and out.
Overwhelmed by this feeling of utter completeness, Will walked over to Charlie and kissed him firmly on the mouth.
“What was that for?” Charlie asked, a little stunned by the surprise gesture.
“Does it have to be for anything? It’s just because I love you,” Will said. Charlie shrugged, and a wide smile adorned his face.
“Go and sit down, breakfast is almost ready,” Charlie said.
“Aren’t you having anything?” Will asked, moving to the couch. He flicked on the TV for some background noise.
“I started a bowl of cereal. I want to keep to bland foods until we see the doctor, just in case it sets me off again,” Charlie replied, and then, moments later, brought Will’s plate of food over to him, along with a fork.
Will caught a bit of bacon on the end of his knife and tore it with his teeth, enjoying the strong taste. The news was playing, giving an update on the monster in the park. They were reporting that there had been no sightings, and that the dangerous area of the park was open for business again, but that visitors were advised to remain vigilant and leave at the first sign of trouble.
Will thought back to that battle with the wolf who had lost himself. He knew that such a fate could easily befall anyone, even him, if he wasn’t careful. The thought of losing the essence of what made him unique was terrifying, in either direction. Being unable to shift into a wolf, to feel the freedom of the transformation was unsettling and abhorrent, but so was the thought of being stuck as a wolf forever, to be ruled by base instinct and primal desires rather than having an intelligent, rational mind.
At the moment his feet were both firmly planted in the best of both worlds, and that was where he wanted to stay.
“Will, can I ask you something?” Charlie said.
“Of course, you know that you can ask me anything. It’s not like I’m going to hide anything from you,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the news.
“Did you want kids? I mean, when you were younger? Or even now…I’m just worried that I assumed you wanted this as much as I did because of your reaction, but given everything that happened with your father I’m wondering about your feelings towards family. It’s just that on the face of it you don’t seem to be the family type.
“Funny you should mention that, but actually I have always wanted a family, just for different reasons than my father wanted me to have one. He was always obsessed with having one to continue the bloodline, to ensure that the legacy of our family would continue, and because of that it sullied the idea for me, especially when I was younger. But, as I grew older, I realized that I did want a child, but only because I wanted to give them the chances that I never got. I wanted to raise them in a way where they knew they could be anything they wanted, and that was okay. I wanted to raise them so that they didn’t have any grand expectations placed upon them. But most of all I wanted a child to be the product of love. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself. I guess it’s ironic really, because it basically sounds like I’m talking about a legacy, but the difference is I wanted for it to happen organically, not because it was my duty.”
“I think I can see where you’re coming from, like, you wanted to have a child when the time was right, when you’d found the right person, not because it was your duty to do so.”
“Exactly. I sometimes think that was the problem with my father. I get the feeling he had me because he was told it was what he had to do. I think it’s telling that I’m an only child.”
“Well, I’m glad he did that,” Charlie said, smirking. “But one thing I don’t understand is why you chose me? If you wanted a child I can’t have been the first choice. You couldn’t have known that this would happen, could you?”
A knowing smile tugged at Will’s lips. “What makes you think I had a choice? There’s always been something about you, Charlie. The pheromones you give off are irresistible to me, but it’s no mere system of chemistry. I tried to mate with females, but it never felt quite right, and I knew that I couldn’t put my desire for a family above my desire for love. It would be a disservice to any child borne from such a union, so I resigned myself to my fate. I decided that I wouldn’t have a child unless it was with someone I loved, and since I didn’t think I’d love a woman I accepted that I would have to go without, but in my mind that was better than having a child just to fulfill my need of having one.”
“That’s almost exactly how I felt. So you didn’t know this was going to happen?”
“No. I knew that it could. Mother had told me
about a lot of old legends, and as wolves I think we’re a little more in tune with the different aspects of the world than regular humans, but no, I didn’t pick you because you had this ability, if that’s what you’re thinking. I picked you because, well, you’re you.”
“I have to be honest with you Will, I’m scared.”
“Will took his attention away from the TV and, having finished his food, placed his plate on the coffee table. He turned around and took Charlie’s hands in his.
“I know, but it’s going to be okay.”
“It’s fine to say that, but how can we be sure? And even if nothing is wrong, there’s still all this business with Brandon. At the moment life just feels big, and I’m overwhelmed with it all. I know that you’ve just lost your father and I don’t want to lay this on you as well, but I think it’s important for us to know how the other is feeling, and this is how I feel.”
“I appreciate that,” Will said, “but right now it’s important that we take things one step at a time. Let’s go and see the doctor, and then we can deal with everything else later. I know that we have a lot to talk about, and a lot to discuss, but I can’t handle that right now. I promise you we will talk about it, but later, okay? Let’s go and see the doctor and we’ll figure out what’s going on with you.”
Charlie nodded and picked up the plate, carrying it over to the sink. Will watched him and pondered the future. He could see a good life for himself and Charlie, indulging domesticity, but Will knew full well that indulging it too much could lead to him losing the wild side of him, and he wasn’t prepared to do that. At some point he would have to challenge Brandon, and that could mean his death. Charlie was never going to let him do that, but Will saw no other choice. At some point one of them was going to have to surrender, and it wasn’t going to be Will.