A Year to Clear
Page 19
DAY 262
ALTARS ARE EVERYWHERE
Though we mostly associate altars with churches or temples, they can be found everywhere. The special flower centerpiece on a Thanksgiving table and the good china place settings are a kind of altar. The photos on the refrigerator, the grouping of rocks and shells from a favorite beach or summer experience, the portrait holding court over the mantel, and the wreaths we hang to celebrate the seasons are just some of the ways we remember and connect with something timeless, something larger than ourselves.
Take a look around you today and notice some of the altars you've created in your home. Are there any that could use a little clearing or freshening up?
Explore
Some of the altars that I've created to honor my past or a loved one . . .
One altar that I love that could use some clearing or freshening up . . .
DAY 263
ALTARS ALTER
Altars offer a direct connection to spirit and a vehicle to experience spaciousness. You can use them to anchor an intention, quiet the mind, express gratitude, connect to your soul's deepest yearnings, honor the memory of a loved one, bless and release something or someone that no longer serves and supports you, or embrace, illuminate, call back . . . re-member.
Use today to place a small table or shelf in a quiet area of your home where you can imagine spending a minute or two every day. Once you've established your sacred spot, gather meaningful objects that symbolize a thing, person, habit, belief, painful memory, or outcome that you wish to release in your life. This could be an item of clothing, letters, food, a photo of your ex, words on a piece of paper . . . anything that is significant and visually powerful.
Tomorrow you will have a chance to use these objects to create your own altar of letting go.
Explore
A quiet area of my home that would serve me nicely (for now) to create an altar of letting go . . .
Someone or something that I am ready to let go of . . .
Objects that I can use to help me let go . . .
DAY 264
LETTING GO ALTAR AND RITUAL
Today (or sometime this week when you can manage an hour of alone time), I invite you to create an altar of letting go. This intentional exercise is powerful when you give it all of your attention.
A quick word about altars: It does not have to be a big, fancy deal. You do not have to have a beautiful, pristine, clear space for it to work its magic. All you need is a focal point—a little place that you declare sacred to you. As you become more connected to your altar, it will change . . . and so will you!
Place a small table or shelf in a quiet area of your home where you can imagine spending a minute or two every day.
Add a colorful cloth, flowers, a candle, plus any objects that make your heart sing.
Gather items that symbolize things, people, habits, beliefs, painful memories, or outcomes you wish to release (e.g., clothing, letters, food, photos of an ex . . .)
Light a candle, close your eyes, and take a moment to center.
Call in a divine presence or higher power to hold a space for you and help anchor your intentions.
Expand your energy field with your breath, and imagine it filling the room as you repeat this blessing silently or out loud: “May this (thing, thought, aspect of myself, painful memory, relationship) be fully released for the highest and best good of all concerned. And so it is. And so it shall be.”
Allow yourself to feel all sensations or emotions that arise without fixing, managing, or judging them. (This step is key.)
Breathe.
Notice in the days that follow any dreams, shifts, synchronicities, and aha moments and write them down.
Maintain your altar for as long as is required. Keep it fresh and vibrant; replace objects regularly, and move your altar (or remove it altogether) if it isn't working for you.
Explore
I am ready to ritually release . . .
When I set an intention, call in a higher power, and surrender to the moment, I notice . . .
DAY 265
LETTING IN, LETTING GO
Take a moment today to revisit and reflect on the challenging issue or unsupportable relationship that you identified and worked with in yesterday's lesson.
Stand in front of your altar and follow steps 3 through 7 in yesterday's ritual of letting go.
Note: If you don't yet have an altar, do the exercise anyway. Come back to this lesson when you have an altar too.
Explore
It is safe for me to let this go now because . . .
One thing I can do to support and honor myself now is . . .
DAY 266
CHECK IN—HONORING THE PAST
The focus this week was to remember in the best sense of the word: to gather, mend, and honor the scattered parts of ourselves with intention, action, non-identification, and compassion. Altars offer an excellent way to integrate and combine these four pathways of clearing.
In what ways does having a focal point help you to let go and feel more connected and spacious?
Explore
Some of the things (people, situations) I have honored this week . . .
Honoring my past has helped me feel . . .
One way I can refresh my altar today is . . .
WEEK 39
CULTIVATING DEEP REST
I wish I could show you,
When you are lonely or in darkness,
The Astonishing Light
Of your own Being!
—Hafiz, “My Brilliant Image,” I Heard God Laughing, Translated by Daniel Ladinsky
DAY 267
ARE YOU FEELING THE BLUES?
Is it true that women today are in a funk?
In her blog post entitled “The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling,” Arianna Huffington writes the following:
According to study after study, women are becoming more and more unhappy. This drop in happiness is found in women across the social and economic landscape. It doesn't matter what their marital status is, how much money they make, whether or not they have children, their ethnic background, or the country they live in. Women around the world are in a funk.
The subject of women “doing”—taking on too much, having no space for themselves, facing an empty nest, forgetting what makes their heart sing, yearning to connect more deeply (in ways they were designed to connect)—touches on many levels for me.
Let's open this conversation, shall we?
Explore
I believe that women are more (or less) happy now because . . .
I am more (or less) happy now because . . .
DAY 268
WOMEN WEIGH IN
Are you happy?
This is not a yes or no question. Hidden in there, begging to be revealed, is the why.
When I asked my readers to weigh in on the subject of personal fulfillment, their varied and thoughtful responses could have filled an entire book. Clearly, becoming oneself is a work in progress. Here are a few examples:
I sometimes feel that I can't remember what it's like to just be “me.” Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and the kids, but sometimes I'd like to remember what it's like to be me. (Kim)
The blues went away when I began to honor my long-postponed dream/desire/obsession with going back to school to finish an interrupted bachelor's degree. Amongst the “doing” I came across ideas, concepts, traditions, and ground-breaking news in various fields that ignited my soul, spirit, and intellect . . . in other words, my entire being woke up. (Nancy S.)
I think feeling blue and over-extended has always been with us . . . and while it may not be comfortable to look at, there is something positive going on . . . As we change how we relate to these feelings and experiences, with awareness and compassion, happiness has a way of simply emerging—it's right there. (Karen J.)
Care to weigh in?
Explore
When I feel blue or overextended, I . . .
&nbs
p; What I can see changing for the better . . .
DAY 269
DEPRESSED OR DEEP REST?
Depressed or deep rest? I love how the pathway to healing is implied in that question—like the Young Girl–Old Woman illusion drawing. Your perspective determines what you see and experience.
Martha Beck, life coach and best-selling author, explains in O, The Oprah Magazine how “depressed or deep rest?” came to be:
One day a client oozed into my office, slumped into a chair, and said she was depressed—only she said it so slowly that I thought she said “deep rest.” In a way, this was accurate. Depression can be part of a general shutdown, meant to turn us toward healing. A tired body, a tired mind, a tired heart can't—and shouldn't—be passionate about anything but rest. So if you're exhausted, care for yourself.
Today, notice what is dragging you down or keeping you from moving forward. It could be a worrisome thought, an unresolved situation, a heavy heart. See if simply being aware of your resistance releases it—and you.
Explore
Something that is dragging me down or keeping me from moving forward is . . .
When I insert compassionate awareness, this happens . . .
DAY 270
REST MEDITATION
Today, I invite you to deepen your experience of rest by practicing this simple exercise.
Close your eyes, and take a deep breath in and a slow, emptying breath out.
When you feel centered, repeat the phrase “I rest in stillness.”
Just drop the phrase into your conscious awareness—like a pebble in a still pond. Notice and allow the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that ripple out naturally . . . “I rest in stillness.”
You can repeat the same phrase or go on to the next one: “I rest in awareness.”
Imagine that you are dropping another pebble in the still pond as you go onto the final phrase: “I rest in awareness.”
When you're ready, move to the final phrase: “I rest.”
Repeat the phrases even if your life doesn't feel restful—especially if it doesn't. Every time the mind chimes in with all the reasons why rest is not possible, say it again. And again.
When you feel complete, open your eyes and bring your awareness back to your more rested self sitting in the room.
Notice your breathing; notice if you're feeling differently now than you did when you began.
Explore
Before the meditation, I was feeling . . .
Deep rest feels like . . .
Other ways that I experience deep rest in my life are . . .
DAY 271
CREATE A LANDING PAD
If you could use a soft landing right about now, a space to decompress, or a nesting spot at home to claim as your own, these gentle guidelines by Madisyn Taylor, cofounder and editor in chief of DailyOM, are an excellent place to start:
Any space in which you find it easy to let go of stress and anxiety can become your landing pad. A basement or attic, spare room, or unused storage area, furnished with items that soothe you, can give you the privacy you need to unwind. . . . Remember to consider noise and activity levels while choosing the site of your landing pad. . . .
The soft place to land that you create should inspire within you the mantra, “I can breath[e] here. I can relax here. I know I am safe here.”
Can you think of a good place in your home that could serve as your soft place to land?
Explore
A good place for me to land at home could be . . .
It's a good landing pad because . . .
DAY 272
IN-TEND AND ATTEND
Consider this contemplation today:
Directing your attention and allowing the feelings to arise without doing anything to fix, manage, or resist them automatically changes the energy in the space.
For Withpaint, this concept of non-doing and not identifying (that has been slowly “dripping” into her clearing experience) has resulted in a big aha:
Two weeks ago . . . I was feeling completely disconnected from my marriage. Just allowing those feelings to be was what helped me to question what was going on in me without judgment.
Somehow this process of seeing them as interesting notes or symptoms . . . being aware and taking note as an observer . . . somehow changed how I experienced them . . . more of an observer . . . less of a victim to them. Don't know if that makes sense . . . but it was a paradigm shift for me. I could be forgiving and accepting of what was going on in me . . . and not become stuck.
I was able to tell my husband what I was feeling without blame . . . just how I was going through some weird stuff. Later I realized it was fear-based . . . fear of aging . . . fear of getting older-looking . . . fear of the unknown.
Not getting mired down in self-hate or anger . . . but letting the feelings become a signal for me . . . a sign of something amiss within . . . allowed space for me to see the underlying issues a lot better.
What is one thing in your home or life that could use a little redirecting?
Explore
One thing that could use some redirecting today . . .
What it feels like to in-tend . . .
DAY 273
CHECK IN—CULTIVATING DEEP REST
The focus this week was to shine light on overdoing and burnout as a cultural pattern and explore the effects it has on our spirit. Taking time to restore and renew ourselves through deep rest is as important as eating and breathing.
How does it feel to cultivate deep rest? What ways have you found to take guilt-free time for yourself? Have you created a “landing pad” at home? Are you using it? If not, what is stopping you?
Explore
The more I cultivate deep rest, the more I feel . . .
These things stand in the way of getting deep rest . . .
One thing I can do right now to pause is . . .
WEEK 40
GETTING GOOD SLEEP
The most basic shift we can make in redefining success in our lives has to do with our strained relationship with sleep.
—Arianna Huffington
DAY 274
CRAWL INTO HEAVEN
If I've learned anything at all after years of clearing, it's that letting go is not possible unless we feel safe. And one of the simplest ways to create a nesting place where we can be cozy, rest deeply, and feel safe begins with the one thing we all need: a good bed.
My husband and I recently bought a new bed, and I adore it. Every night feels like I'm crawling into heaven. I still can't believe how good it feels to be so completely supported and nourished in this way.
Tell me, is there any reason not to feel like you're in heaven when you crawl into bed every night?
Explore
The thought of crawling into a heavenly bed makes me feel . . .
What helps me feel most cozy and safe is . . .
DAY 275
ASSESS THE BED
To know if your bed is working for you, read the statements that follow out loud and notice how your body responds:
I love getting into bed at night.
I love the way my mattress supports every muscle in my body.
I love the feeling of the sheets on my skin.
My pillow supports my head, neck, and shoulders perfectly.
I feel held and safe in my bed.
I wake up feeling refreshed in the morning.
If each statement elicits a gushing, Yes! Congratulations! You got the bed thing down. Enjoy it!
If your reaction is one of desirous twinges or an aching body, it may be time to upgrade your bed experience. Use the prompts that follow to help.
Explore
What works and doesn't work about my bed . . .
One easy thing I can do today to change it up . . .
One thing I can research this week to make my (our) bed work better for me (us) is . . .
DAY 276
THE BENEFITS OF SLEEP
Sleep—that delicious r
itual that allows the body to rest is not just for refreshment. It turns out we need it as much, if not more so, for daily repair. There's a massive amount of cleanup going on in the brain while we're catching a few Zzzs.
Scientists have identified an “army” of cells in the brain called glial cells that clear out the toxic buildup of free radicals when the body sleeps. They're like our built-in night janitor doing the essential, thankless task of cleaning and restoring.
In her article for Time, “The Power of Sleep,” Alice Park writes:
Brain cells that don't get their needed break every night are like overworked employees on consecutive double shifts—eventually, they collapse. Working with mice, [Dr. Sigrid Veasey at the University of Pennsylvania] found that neurons that fire constantly to keep the brain alert spew out toxic free radicals as a by-product of making energy. During sleep, they produce antioxidants that mop up these potential poisons. But even after short periods of sleep loss, “the cells are working hard but cannot make enough antioxidants, so they progressively build up free radicals and some of the neurons die off.” Once those brain cells are gone, they're gone for good.