Stark Raving Mad

by Knight, Vanessa

  “But what? His preferences do have nothing to do with you.”

  “I guess. It just seems like I suck at relationships.”

  “You’ll find someone. You just need to stop dating lawyers.

  They’re a creepy bunch.”

  “You know I’m a lawyer. Right?” Brook continued after Allison nodded. “Anyway, it’s easy for you to spout crap about finding someone, you’ve broken the Southby hex and found a good one. My love life is still cursed.” Brook took a swig of wine. Today was starting to blur around the edges. Thank you, wine.

  She took another swig. “My love life is cursed, like the Cubs…

  It’s not fair. I never even pissed off any goats.”

  “What about that time at the children’s zoo in Florida? That goat was pretty pissed at you. Didn’t it charge you and almost knock you on your ass?” Allison actually giggled, not that Brook was all that surprised. When the petting-zoocatastrophe actually happened, Allison laughed so hard she actually threw up. She did make Brook a get-well card later that night, so Brook couldn’t help but forgive the hyena-terror.

  “That was a sheep. The goats were behind fences.” She finished the rest of her wine just as the waiter passed nearby. She slid over, bumping into a female guest, and grabbed a flute of champagne.

  Allison apologized to the woman and reached for the glass. “I think you’ve had enough.”

  Brook curled a protective hand around her drink. “No, sister dear, I’m just getting started. Hell, I deserve it. I make men gay now.” She giggled. She made men gay. It was like her superpower: The Homo-Diverter. Diverting the eligible, gorgeous men of Chicago to alternate lifestyles. One man at a time.

  “That’s ridiculous. Men don’t just wake up one day and decide they like, um— you know—dick.” Allison whispered the last word.

  “How do you know? Has it happened to you?”

  “I don’t think I get the question, but I’m pretty sure I liked dick my whole life.” Allison reached for Brook’s glass, apparently getting more comfortable with the use of that word.

  Brook kept her glass close to her chest, out of Allison’s evil grasp, and took a long swig. She was going to forget the past month, even if it meant she cleaned the caterers out of booze.

  She had a mission.

  Adam smirked as he inched up behind the women. “Wow, this conversation sounds fun. And to think I was wasting time talking about philanthropy.”

  “Okay, so you can help us. You’re a guy.” Allison tugged her boyfriend closer. Brook couldn’t help but wonder if she could sneak away and hide under one of the high-top tables. Maybe abscond with a bottle of wine, forget this conversation even existed—ah, heaven.

  “Last time I checked.” His brows drew down as he took a sip of champagne.

  “Do men just decide to be gay because of a woman?”

  “You are aware I’m straight, right?”

  “I think you’ve proven that fact over and over, dear, just answer the question.”

  Allison nudged him

  “All right. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’s not something a woman evokes. Your preferences are something you’re born with. Why?”

  “Todd’s gay,” Allison announced.

  “Your Todd?” He looked over at Todd in the crowd and

  curled his lips. “Yeah, I could see that.”

  “Can we stop talking about this? I think I should just go home now.” Brook pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to push the headache back. ”Todd can drive me.” For now. They still shared a house. For now. Brook’s eyelids drooped. She was so damn tired.

  “Why is he here?” Adam shared a look with Allison.

  See, this is why Brook hadn’t wanted to tell them anything. She hated this question—it made her feel like such a failure. “I didn’t want to come alone, and we’re still friends…” She couldn’t even make a relationship with her best friend last. A new low.

  “Why be a beard?” her darling sister asked.

  Tears stung the back of her eyes. Was that all she was to Todd, a nice-looking beard? Some eye-candy for his arm to make everyone think he was straight? No, she was his best friend. She knew that.

  Her temples pulsed, her head pounding as she tried to block out their rambling. She should never have said anything. What the heck was she thinking, telling them about Todd? His preferences had nothing to do with her, but that didn’t make the hurt go away.

  She’d finally found a guy who wasn’t cheating on her, and wasn’t just looking for sex like a horny teenager. He listened to her, liked the same things, and he was…shit. She’d thought he’d loved her, respected her, and he did. They were the best of friends, but that was all she was. Just a friend.

  She searched the room and found Todd. He met her eyes and smiled, really smiled. She missed that smile. He hadn’t smiled like that in so long. Some friend she was. She hadn’t noticed how sad he’d grown. He’d stopped working out. He’d stopped really laughing. Oh crap. “Thank you for everything, sis. I’m going to go see how Todd is doing.”

  She ignored her sister’s stare and made her way past the bar-style tables wrapped in blue tablecloths to the front of the party. Drinks waited on the blue fabric as the suit and-tie-set joked and talked. The living room furniture that normally sat in the space was crammed in a bedroom for tonight. Tonight was about standing and drinking. Not always a great combination.

  She passed a set of waiters and slid next to Todd. He was so damn hot with his short black hair, blue eyes, and fabulous body. This sucked. “Hey. Are you about ready to go?” She really needed to go.

  He leaned in to put his arm on her shoulder and jerked back. Awkward. They didn’t even know how to act around each other anymore. For years they were friends, then lovers, but always together in some form. Now…

  “Hey, Brooks. Adrian, this is my best friend” —there was that word again—“Brook, and this is Adrian, he’s an accountant with the Chicago Flurries. You know, the hockey team. He was just telling me about a fabulous party over at the

  Underground. If you’re up for it. I thought we could go.”

  Both men looked at Brook with anticipation. She had no desire to go to the Underground or any other Chicago nightclub. She wanted to go home, drink some more, and pass out in her bed. She didn’t have the heart to burst Todd’s bubble.

  “Why don’t you go? Allison needs me to stay here and mingle.”

  “I’ll stay, then.” Todd brought his drink to his lips, but

  Brook saw the disappointment cloud his eyes. He wanted this, and she was not in the business of cock-blocking her friends— not even her ex-boyfriend.

  “Actually… Allison asked me to stay and help clean up tonight. Why don’t you go to the party? I’m just going to spend the night here, anyway.”

  “Are you sure?” He looked her up and down.

  She nodded and kept a smile riveted to her lips. If there was any wavering, Todd would stay. And, even though she wanted him to stay with her—wanted it more than her next glass of wine—she knew it wasn’t right. He deserved Hot-Gay- Flurries dude, and she deserved someone who loved her body as much as her mind.

  Todd leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Best friend ever.” She was trying.

  She watched the men walk toward the front door. Todd’s eyes never left the man next to him. He couldn’t even peel them away as he passed a gorgeous piece of testosterone walking through the door. Dark hair, tanned skin, five o’clock shadow that surrounded plump pink lips—he was downright edible.

  Todd didn’t take so much as one glance. Damn. He must have it bad.

  She didn’t have it in her to be mad at him anymore. She walked to the nearest waiter and downed another glass of wine.

  Well, she might still have had it in her to be a little mad.

  Chapter Two

  Joe Perretti walked into Adam’s condo and tried hard not to grimace. He just didn’t belong here. White couches with fluffy green and pink pillo
ws. Mahogany furniture pulled to the far right of the room to make room for standing-height tables. Vases that cost more than his house on the south side. Once upon a time, he might have been comfortable in this kind of setting, but he’d given all that up when his dad high-tailed it to Florida with his child-bride.

  Being a Chicago detective didn’t help. He saw how both halves lived—like the methodical servers wandering the living room with their smiles locked in place. What did they think about the rich revelers who drank champagne and ate caviar while people outside the ivory tower scraped to get by?

  Shit. When did I become a bleeding heart?

  He ran a hand through his dark brown hair as his eyes searched the party, looking for the newest detective to join the Chicago Police Department. Adam’s brown head bobbed up and down as he laughed with his girlfriend. He’d made the jump from rich-elite to cop look so easy. He was comfortable in either setting. Maybe Joe had a problem because he’d gone from rich and elite to nothing, and then from nothing he’d built himself up to cop. Very different set of circumstances.

  Joe snuck through the crowded living room and smiled as Adam snuggled with his woman. If only the guys at work could see him now. Adam was all business and hard as nails. They’d never believe this whipped man was the same person who ruled a crime scene with an iron fist. Joe fought the urge to pull out his cell phone and capture some blackmail material.

  Too bad his partner, Shay Washington, had blown him off for the evening. She wouldn’t have hesitated at a possible extortion plot. They could have hijacked a few weeks of free coffee.

  “Hey, Byrnes…Allison. The place looks good.” He remembered the last time he set foot in the infamous condo. Adam was shot and unconscious, and the family lawyer was holding a gun on an unarmed Allison. Definitely not one of their best days.

  “My mom.” Adam shook his head. “The woman is a decorating machine.” Allison bumped Adam’s shoulder. “It looks nice.”

  “It looks like a museum, complete with patrons.” Adam smiled down at her as she took a drink. The looks they gave each other should have been censored. Things were falling into place for Adam. He had the girl, he was a detective with Chicago Police Department, and he had this mansion-sized condo in the heart of downtown Chicago.

  Something almost like jealousy twisted Joe’s gut. He could live without the condo, but the adoration these two had for each other made him long for something more than Bruno, his bulldog.

  Hell. Who was he kidding? He didn’t have time for women these days. Budget cuts had hit everywhere. Crime didn’t seem to be letting up, but they weren’t replacing outgoing cops. They were lucky to get Adam, but no matter how good Adam liked to think he was, even he couldn’t make up for the five detectives that retired over the past year.

  “Thanks, Perretti. Where’s your pseudo date?”

  “Washington blew me off for a real date…something about the possibility of sex outweighing the guilt she’ll feel for ditching your party.”

  “Well, I see where we rank.” Allison laughed. “Shay’s smart. I honestly can’t say I would have made a different choice.”

  “Hell, if I had a chance at sex, I’d ditch your ass, too.” Joe grabbed a wineglass from a passing server. Mostly for show. He wasn’t exactly a wine kinda guy, but he hated standing there empty-handed.

  Adam’s eyes bulged as he stared at Allison. “Why exactly are we having this party if sex was on the table?”

  “Because your mother asked us to, and with you sex always seems to be on the table.” Allison smiled and lifted her glass to her lips. “It looks like the Mayor’s here. I’ll be back soon.” “Nice party.” Joe leaned against the window and listened. Glasses clinked over the dull hum of conversation. “What are we saving here? Puppies…rainforest…?”

  “Children’s Memorial Foundation. This was one my dad’s pet projects. My mom didn’t want to see it stopped, so she took over on the board and decided to keep all the parties intact.”

  “Lucky you.”

  “Yeah, but I’m not here alone, so lucky us.”

  Yeah. Lucky us. This was so not his thing. He’d much rather play a game of darts or pool, anything but hear himself talk.

  “I could use a real drink. This fizzy crap is not cutting it.” Adam left his glass of champagne with a passing waiter and edged his way through the partyers.

  The scent of overpriced perfume mixed with shrimp tickled the inside of Joe’s nose as he followed Adam through the crowd and into another room. Grey leather furniture. A cabinet behind the couch, and a white oak wall unit surrounding the desk on the far end of the room. Chicago Flurries hockey gear lining the wall. This room was more Joe’s style. No floofy pillows and no noise.

  Silence.

  And a woman lying face-down on the couch.

  From behind, she looked good—golden blonde hair falling to just above her rounded ass. Yeah, she was nice to look at.

  Adam sat on the table next to the couch. “Brook, what are you doing in here?”

  She flew up to a sitting position, eyes wide. The bottle of wine she was holding sloshed, splattering red drops on her dress. “I’m…drinking. What does it look like?”

  “Passing out,” Joe said. The words came out before he could stop them, but he wasn’t wrong.

  Brook’s eyes narrowed into slits. He thought she might have recognized him— he’d recognized her. She’d been the litigator in numerous cases Joe worked over the years. Her eyes glazed as she shook her head and brought the bottle to her perfectly-shaped pink lips. Her back had looked good, but the front—she was hot.

  But then again, if he remembered correctly, she’d always been hot. It was her attitude that sucked. The last time he saw Brook Southby—hell, anytime he saw her—he wanted to shake the lawyer arrogance right out of her. She drove him crazy.

  “Where’s Todd?” Adam reached for the bottle in her hand. She wrenched it back and took another swig. “Or Allison?

  I thought she was watching over you.”

  “Allison is Susie-frickin’-homemaker out there, talking caterers and mini-vans. Todd found a frickin’ boyfriend—or at least a hookup.” She took another long pull. “Can you believe that shit? A boyfriend. I can’t find a decent guy to save my life, but he finds some hot guy in two days. Maybe I should become a lesbian. Todd did better when he switched teams. I could, too.”

  “Maybe you should lay off the bottle.” Adam reached for the sloshing container again, but she whipped it behind her back. Joe could see Adam was toying with wrapping his arms around her and taking back the offending bottle, a move he would have made in a heartbeat on the job, but instead he just held out his hand and lifted a brow at Joe—who walked behind the couch and stole the hidden wine.

  Brook’s face reddened, her blue-ice stare glaring holes through him. “Give that back.”

  “No.” Joe put the bottle on the top of the bookshelf. He crossed his arms and stood guard—not that she could reach the contraband. At six feet, his height gave him a slight advantage over the petulant woman.

  Adam stood, concern darkening his face. “I’m going to get

  Allison. Can you watch her for a minute?”

  Joe nodded his head, and Adam walked out into the party. Of course he could watch her. He could handle a pain-in-the-ass lawyer.

  “You give that back…or…or…I’ll call the cops.” She tried to push past him.

  As if she could.

  “Honey, I am the cops.”

  “Of course you are. I should have guessed, with that attitude.” The daggers coming from her eyes should have sliced through him. It took everything he had not to laugh at the righteous indignation flowing from her. Wow, even drunk, the woman could find a way to look down her blameless nose.

  “I’m a lawyer. I’ll sue your ass for…obstruction. You are hindering my right… my right to become intoxicated.” She put her hand on his crossed arms and jumped toward the bottle. She actually jumped. He wanted to laugh at this ridiculous game of
keep-away, but he couldn’t seem to get his mind off her breasts bouncing— bouncing against his chest.

  Lord help me. He pushed away the impure thoughts running through his mind. “You’re already intoxicated. I’m obstructing your right to drink till you throw up all that expensive finger food.”

  “See? You admit it.” She sighed and turned around. When she fixed her eyes on the cabinet on the other side of the couch, he guessed she knew where Adam kept the liquor.

  Joe jumped in front of her, gently resting his hands on her arms. “Brook, please sit down. You don’t want to do this.” He whispered, “What would all your fellow lawyers in ivory towers think?” He stared into her troubled blue eyes. Damn. Her bottomless, beautiful blue eyes.

  A wisp of hair dropped in her face. His breath stopped when she stuck her bottom lip out and blew. The hair fluttered with her breath, and landed on her flushed cheek.

  He reached over and pushed the silky strands behind her ear. His fingers accidentally brushed along her jaw, and a sigh escaped her lips.

  Damn. He sighed. He was man enough to admit it might not have been an accident.

  Brook’s eyes darkened, her lids lowering. Joe knew he shouldn’t have been this close to her, but he couldn’t move away. She licked her bottom lip. Was that an invitation? She leaned in. Her sweet breath, a bouquet of grapes, grazed his cheek. Please be an invitation.

  His body went rigid as he moved closer. He ran a hand down the side of her face, slowly closing the gap between them. Tasting her warm breath, he placed his lips on hers. Slow at first, then hot, demanding. Lips against lips. Moving together. Her tongue teased past his lips.

  He pulled his head back. “We have to stop.” Her brain was way too soggy to agree to this going further. And he wanted this to go further.

  She leaned in and put her lips back on his. Damn. This woman was going to be the death of him. She tasted delicious and felt amazing.

  He heard the doorknob turn. The door flew open. Joe couldn’t turn away fast enough—he stepped back and grabbed Brook’s arm to keep her from falling over. Yeah, this couldn’t go any further.