by Ember Hollis
She turns to me. “Stay back today and I will tutor you personally,” she tells me, her eyes gleaming sternly. “If you still don’t make the cut after that, I will personally explain to Pandora why I recommend you not be included. Understand?”
“Yes, Madam,” I say meekly.
Chapter 12: Heaven
Madam Hinako makes me return to her classroom to practice immediately after school. No one else messed up the lesson the way I did, and so I have her undivided attention all to myself, which, I’m learning the hard way, is an extremely unfortunate thing.
“The problem with you is that you don’t have the hang of sensing and controlling your own energy,” she frowns at me before I even begin. “If you did, you wouldn’t have needed to run after it and cause such a scene. You could have just called your ball back to you, even if it were flying through the air!”
“Yes, Madam Hinako,” I nod enthusiastically, trying to appear like an obedient, diligent student. Madam Hinako narrows her eyes at me, unconvinced at my display.
“I want you to keep at this exercise until you can detect where your energy is and what its doing even with your eyes closed, understood?”
I nod again.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” she slaps the table, making me jump. “An invitation? You have to be able to do this even when you’re distracted. No matter what the situation is, you need to…”
I sigh and bring my hands up, summoning my energy even though she keeps talking and criticizing me throughout the exercise. It’s almost as if she wants to provoke me into making another mistake. Plus, she has a way of nagging that makes me want to just give up and yell at her.
But I know that if I do that, she’ll make sure I’m off the list of students who are to help with the Sacrifice. So I just nod whenever she gives me any useful advice, keep my mouth sealed, and try even harder.
I hope she’ll shut up when I get it right and leave me alone, but she doesn’t run out of things to say even after two hours, even though it all seems to be the same thing, just phrased in different ways: ‘Always be aware of where your energy is going’, ‘Never lose track of your power’, ‘Stay in control no matter what.’
Every time I think I’m making progress, Madam Hinako makes things harder. I keep at it until she forces me to juggle tiny balls of energy and keep them circling over my hands while she pelts me with crumpled up bits of paper. No matter how hard I try, she eventually hits every single one of the balls, knocking them out of my grasp until they dissipate into thin air.
“Ugh!” I exclaim in frustration after the fifth time this happens. I feel light-headed and dizzy, and lean back on the desk behind me. “Did I really need to keep all of them going?”
“Yes, and that’s just the beginning,” she tells me, shaking her head. “I’m sorry Miss Ramsey. But you still don’t seem to know what you’re doing. And after tonight, I’m not sure you have enough energy to safely contribute to the ritual.”
“I’ll be fine after some sleep,” I reassure her, getting to my feet. The room swims about me, but I force myself to keep standing. “You’ll see. You can rely on me.”
She sighs in frustration, her eyes sharp with irritation at me. “You certainly are a stubborn one. Why don’t you go to sleep and we will see how your energy levels are tomorrow?”
After she dismisses me, I head straight to the cafeteria, hungry as a bear after hibernation. Though dinner is long over, there’s some sandwiches left out for snacks and I eat a whole stack of them, then place my head onto my arms and doze until I feel less light-headed.
I don’t know how long I sleep, but when I wake, the sun has set and the cafeteria is deserted. I’m making my way back to the dorms, taking a shortcut through the kitchen gardens, when I remember the curfew. But just as I’m about to turn back to take a longer path through the castle, I catch sight of a familiar figure, patrolling in the distance.
Malek.
The Horseman of War is prowling the grounds like an angry tiger, his red hair like smoldering embers in the darkening twilight. I know I should just sneak away. But the things he’d said earlier… well, they’d struck just a little too close to home. Plus, I feel better after getting some food in my stomach, and the sight of him annoys me anew.
I know I’m not really as strong as I should be. Even with my wings, even though I’d struck a fatal blow to a weakened and unstable fallen angel, I’d barely navigated the perils of the Wild Hunt unscathed. When the attack had occurred, I’d only survived for a short while against the hellspawn, before I’d had to be rescued again and again. And as if that wasn’t enough, I’d succumbed to the deceptive whisperings of the Damned, jeopardizing everyone with my foolishness and ignorance. The only reason I wasn’t dead or in a cocoon right now was because of sheer dumb luck.
I’m the same person I was before, yet it feels like the brave, confident, wily girl who’d thrown caution to the winds and thumbed her nose at authority has all but disappeared. And hearing Malek say what he did to my face somehow irks me just as much as all the insults Bane had sent my way, and all the ways Christian found to torture me.
Because its true.
I constantly feel cornered, helpless, and useless. Out of my depth, and ignorant.
But then again, doesn’t everyone have to start somewhere? I’m doing the best I can to catch up. And Malek himself probably had to start from scratch at some point too. He’s just forgotten what it feels like.
Which means… that if I could just remind him of how it feels to be weak and powerless… maybe he’ll understand my situation, maybe he’ll—
Maybe he’ll get a taste of his own medicine and leave me the hell alone.
Intimacy had worked with Knox, and talking had worked with Bane. Even Christian had backed off, more or less, after I’d given away what he wanted from me. Maybe, the strategy I need to use to defeat Malek, is not to keep my head down and out of his way, but to face him head on, and show him I’m not someone to be bullied. That I’m strong enough in my own right to make a stand against him, against angels, against anyone who might try to control me.
“This will either work, or it will piss him off so much, he’ll kill me,” I whisper to myself as I throw caution to the winds, unfold my wings and launch myself up into a nearby tree.
Chapter 13: Heaven
I almost don’t go through with my plan. As Malek nears me, the only thing that keeps me from chickening out of it is the memory of how he’d not taken advantage of me when Knox had bespelled me and sent me to his room, and how he’d interrupted the girls who’d attacked me in the toilet. From any other guy, that sort of behavior would have marked them as a knight in shining armor. From Malek… well, it just means that he has honor and a sense of what’s fair. Of justice.
Which probably means that he can’t possibly fault me for ambushing him like this, can he? Not after he’d practically thrown down the gauntlet during class earlier today.
Plus, I’d already warned him, didn’t I, when I said I’d show him?
I tense as he comes closer to the tree, but resist the urge to shift. Malek has ears like a bat, and a preternatural ability to sense danger. I close my eyes so he doesn’t sense my gaze and hold my breath, trying to be as still and quiet as possible. I send calming, friendly thoughts to him, just in case it makes a difference. Then I count to five… and leap.
I only mean to show him how I can hurt him, and not actually do so. But just as my knees are about to hit his back and knock him to the ground, Malek swerves away, bringing his sword up reflexively.
We both realize what’s happening at the same time. Regret and fear flash through my mind as I realize I’m about to get seriously hurt. I’d sent my wings away and there’s no time to summon them and maneuver. As I fall, I can see surprise turn to concern and then anger in Malek’s eyes as he braces for impact.
Then, at the last minute, he whips his sword out of the way. It still hurts me, scoring a deep gash down the side of my arm. But at l
east it doesn’t pierce through my heart.
We tumble onto the ground and roll over and over on the grass, until I come to a stop against a nearby tree. Malek leaps up like a cat, then stalks over to me, fury radiating from every pore.
“What the fuck was that?” he growls at me. “Are trying to kill yourself?”
“No,” I groan, and press a hand to my arm. My whole sleeve is soaked through with blood. “I just wanted to knock you down and scare you.”
“By jumping out of a tree like a monkey?” Malek barks. “Chipmunks are scarier than you!”
When he puts it that way, it does sound incredibly stupid.
“You said I was useless,” I spit back. “But I did surprise you, didn’t I? You could have been hurt if I’d had a weapon with me and seriously meant to attack you.”
Malek looks at me as if I’d just said something incredibly stupid.
“I knew you were there the whole time,” he says finally. “In fact, I expected you to attack me with your feathers. That’s why I was holding up my sword. Nobody in their right mind canonballs out of a tree against someone who can skewer them with a sword.”
“Nobody except me,” I sigh, bitterly.
Malek watches silently as I try to stand up and end up leaning against the tree. My hunger and exhaustion has obviously taken a toll on me. I’m not thinking right, and I feel light-headed. Worse, I’ve obviously sunk even lower in his regard. I want nothing more than to slink away into the darkness and lick my wounds.
But Malek won’t let me. He comes right up to me, cutting off my path. Then he takes off his shirt. I watch curiously, then flinch when he approaches. But he doesn’t garrote me with it. Instead, he rips it into strips, looping one around my arm. He starts to tie it high on my shoulder, above the wound, to slow the flow of blood. I watch him as he works, captivated again by the sight of his bare arms, and how efficient his movements are.
“I thought you’d be happy I got hurt,” I say, to break the awkward silence. “You’ve wanted to kill me since I first came. You almost stabbed me in the cafeteria.”
“That was when I thought you’d have enough sense to leave if you were threatened.” His eyes glance up at me, liquid gold and sharp. “Obviously, I overestimated you.”
“And yet you also came to my rescue… so many times.” I say, ignoring the insult. I lift a hand up to trace a vein on his arm. I hardly notice I’m doing it, until his eyes flick to me again. I blush, but don’t draw my hand away. I’ve always had a thing for guys with strong forearms. “You even offered me protection during the Hunt.”
He doesn’t answer.
“Why did you do it? Why, when you hate me so much?”
A sob rises in my voice without warning, and I squeeze my eyes close. I sound so pathetic. I hate that I probably look even weaker than before. More pathetic.
He’s going to detest me even more now.
“I don’t hate you,” Malek says quietly. I blink up at him, stunned.
“Don’t you?”
“I… hate your kind,” he finally says after a long pause.
“But why?” I blurt out.
Again, he subsides in silence. This time, it continues until he’s done bandaging my shoulder. The bleeding has almost stopped by now, though I know I should still get Madam Kahili to fix it. Since I still can’t heal myself.
Or can I?
I recall how I’d seen Christian using his power in the infirmary yesterday. It had seeped from his hands into the patient’s skin, like a thin film of iridescent energy. Now that I can sense and control my energy a little better… maybe, just maybe…
I bring my palm up to my shoulder and place it flat on my wound. Then I focus my energy, sending it out through my palm and into the skin of my arm. It works, in a way. The sharp, throbbing pain subsides almost to nothing, but I can’t see whether I’ve healed myself. Not with the bandage on it.
So I start to untie it. But before I can, Malek claps his hand over mine.
“What on earth are you doing?” he frowns at me, looking as if he’s wondering if I’ve knocked my wits out during the fall. “Keep it on till you get to the hospital wing.”
“I know, I will, but I think I’ve learned how to heal myself, see?”
I hold up my palm, intending to show him the glowing pink energy lining it. But when I hold it up to Malek, a wisp slips through my control, rising up from the palm of my hand into the air like a thin, tenuous cobweb. Before I can tamp it back down, Malek breathes it in.
“Crap, I’m sorry, I’m just so tired, please don’t tell Mada—”
I break off as Malek stares at me intently. His eyes look dark now, the ring of gold a mere thread around the deep black pools of his pupils. I gulp as his gaze flick from my eyes to my lips, lingering on them in what couldn’t possibly be… attraction?
“Malek,” I breathe out slowly, realization sweeping through me. “Are you… how are you feeling?”
He blinks once, then twice, then takes a step back. “Like I’m wasting my time.”
I stare at him. His bare chest gleams in the moonlight, all harsh planes and deep shadowy grooves. Something stirs deep in my belly, and on a whim, I decide to test my theories.
I step forward, moving slowly and hesitantly. What I’m about to do may be completely and utterly stupid. Or… it could be ingenious and incredibly illuminating. It all depends on what happens after…
I kiss him.
Malek stays as still as a statue as I step forward and press my mouth to his, with lips coated with a thin, barely visible lining of my power. His lips are warm and firm against mine, and it feels a bit like kissing a doll at first. He’s completely still. But then… as I draw back, with a wisp of energy curling in the air between our lips, he sucks in a deep breath… and when I chance a look up into his eyes, I see a savage hunger.
One that echoes what I’ve been feeling all afternoon.
“Oh God,” I breathe through my mouth. Pink mist starts to rise all around us, and this time, I don’t bother trying to hold it back, even though I know I can. “It’s not Sympathy… it’s—”
Malek picks me up and pushes me back against the tree, pinning me against it with my legs spread like a butterfly’s wings.
I can feel his hardness against my stomach. It’s huge, larger than any other I’ve felt before, and the feel of it burns against my skin, through all the clothes between us. The heat of him against me makes me want him so badly, I can barely breathe.
“I want you,” I tell him, my voice harsh against his lips. “But… I have to confess…”
“What?” Malek asks. His voice is rough in his throat, and his huge hands gripping my waist makes me feel like a china doll. Delicate and fragile under the strength coiled within him. I should be afraid, but if anything… it’s even more arousing.
“My power, my energy…” my voice hitches again. He’s lowered his mouth to my neck, and the stubble on his jaw scraping against my skin sends tingles right down to my core. I release a soft, gasping cry and push myself at him, needing more. “It’s… it might be why you feel like this. Why you want me.”
Malek straightens and glares at me so hard, a frisson of fear makes me shudder. Is he going to kill me because I confessed?
“Maybe you do have some power that can make me want you,” he says, “And maybe you’re even using it now. But…”
“But what?” I gulp, my voice hoarse.
“But… I wanted you gone from the very beginning, not just because you’re an angel…” he reaches down under my skirt, and presses a finger between my legs, pushing it deep into the folds of my panties. I gasp and moan loudly, then thrust my hips into him. “But it’s also because I knew I wanted you… from the very first moment I laid my eyes on you. You’re exactly what I shouldn’t want. And yet… here we are.”
I lift my lips up for a kiss and Malek obliges, crashing his mouth over mine. His kiss is desperate and hard, and so ravenous, it makes me shudder. I feel like I’m caught in
a trap, with no choice but to surrender. And yet, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I want him to take me, claim me, and consume me.
“You mean that?” I pant when he pulls back, reaching for his pants. “You’re not just saying it?”
“I knew you were trouble from the start,” he nods. “It’s why I fought so hard to get you to leave. But Christian and Bane… they changed their minds and said you could stay. So I had to endure seeing you everywhere. You’re one of them,” he spits out the word like it’s a curse, “and yet… I can’t stop wanting you. Do you know how hard that is for me?”
“Show me,” I say, pushing his pants out of the way. I grip his member in my hand, circling it with my fingers. It’s so large, I can barely wrap my hand around it. “Take me… now…”
Malek lifts my legs up and around his waist, then pushes my underwear to the side. There’s a moment where I feel him pressing against me, smooth and hard, and hot. And then he’s sliding into me, deeper and deeper, spreading me so far apart, I feel like I’ll split in two. There’s a twinge of pain as he pushes all the way in, and I release a ragged cry of pleasure mixed with pain.
As I lose all control of my power, my wings burst out of my back, forcing us closer together. Pink mist that is barely visible in the darkness of the forest rises around us, fueling our passion even more.
I dig my fingers deep into his shoulder as Malek rips my top, sending buttons flying everywhere. He buries his face in my breasts, licking and nibbling at them. I wind my arms around his neck, letting him take all my weight, and he fucks me hard, his thrusts making me rise up and down against the tree, and I moan endlessly, totally lost in the pleasure of it all.
After a few moments, he lets one of my legs down from his waist, then loops the other higher over his shoulder, so I’m standing like a dancer. He pushes in deeper, filling me to my core, and I stand on tip toes, unable to do anything else but hang on as he drives me harder and harder towards ecstasy.