Life's What You Make It: Love's Great Adventure Book 1

by Troutman, Theresa

  “I could say the same of you, Tess.”

  “Fine,” she responded, taking up the challenge. “You look very handsome in that suit. You look more comfortable and at ease in a suit and tie than in anything else I’ve ever seen you wear. It puzzles me.” She sighed with satisfaction. “See—unedited thought. Now you.”

  He gazed at her for a long moment, taking in every inch of her: Tess’ long, silky hair, luminous complexion, bare shoulders, and the perfectly fitted dress that hugged her in all the right places. “I think you have never looked more beautiful than you do right now. You put every other woman in this room to shame.”

  She swallowed hard. “I don’t know how to respond to that, Sebastian,” she said, her eyes glancing down on the table.

  “A simple thank you will do.”

  Her self-consciousness prevented her from saying thank you. Instead she said, “Explain to me why you enjoy big fancy meals. You know I’m perfectly happy at McDonald’s.”

  “That dress would be wasted on McDonald’s. You Americans fail to realize the value of a good meal, good company, and lively conversation,” he pompously announced.

  “So you and your friends enjoyed fancy dining back in London?”

  “Yes—food is to be savored, not eaten in fifteen minutes. Fast food is not a meal, Tess. There is a reason they call it ‘fast.’”

  “How long will this fine dining experience last?”

  “A few hours. I promise I won’t bore you.”

  “You never bore me, Sebastian.” She waited until he broke eye contact, and they both returned to their salads.

  Sebastian opened the front door of the brownstone and ushered Tess inside. The house was dark. He flipped on the light and spied a note from his sister propped up on the vestibule table. “Sigourney is out with friends. Guess we have the place to ourselves.” Sebastian removed Tess’ fur coat and placed it over the stair banister. “Sit down for a second,” he instructed, pointing to the steps.

  She gratefully took a seat, looking relieved to be off her feet. Sebastian knelt down on the floor in front of her. He lifted her right foot and began to caress her ankle. Slowly, he untied the leather strap until her foot was free. Gently, he massaged her tired and achy foot without breaking eye contact with Tess. “Does that feel better?”

  She didn’t speak. She simply nodded.

  “You look absolutely stunning, Tess.” His voice was soft and seductive.

  She lowered her head, looking away to hide her flushed cheeks. Sebastian raised her chin with his right hand to re-establish eye contact. “Happy birthday.” He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It was sweet and chaste. Sebastian knew it was her first kiss and he didn’t want to scare her away. He took off her left shoe and then reached for her hand and lifted her into a standing position.

  Sebastian swept her up into his arms and carried her up the stairs. He placed her back onto her stocking feet just outside her bedroom door. He leaned in and kissed Tess again slowly, lingering for a bit longer this time, testing the waters to see if she would kiss him back.

  Tess slowly placed her hands on his chest. “Thank you for a wonderful day. Goodnight, Sebastian.”

  He couldn’t let her go that easily. He moved in closer to her body, pinning her against the bedroom door. “Your heart is racing,” he whispered, feeling her body heat and thumping heart against his chest. He kissed her again, his tongue gently parting her lips. She was definitely kissing him back.

  Tess turned the door knob with her left hand and snuck back into her bedroom, catching Sebastian off guard. He tried to follow her, but she quickly closed the door in his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Tess told him through the closed door.

  She left him standing there, his forehead against the doorframe, gutted. He swore he could hear her breathing on the other side. Would she change her mind and let him inside? Moments later he heard the soft creak of the floorboards as she walked away from the door.

  Sebastian walked back to his bedroom alone. This was not how the evening had played out in his head. Right now their naked bodies should be tangled up in luxurious Italian sheets. He threw himself on his empty bed, glowering at the ceiling. Just how long could she resist him? He thought he had planned the perfect fairytale day for her. Sebastian couldn’t hold out much longer. It had been months since he’d had sex and it was driving him mad. Sebastian could go to a club right now and easily find a willing sexual partner, but he only wanted Tess.

  The simple fact that he was head over heels in love with her left him only two choices: a cold shower or a good wank. Honestly, he’d been doing too much of both lately.

  He methodically undressed and carefully hung his custom-made suit in the closet. He turned the shower on and stripped off his boxers, then stepped into the tile stall and felt the warm water rush over his chilled body. It felt good. His mind still focused on Tess: the curve of her hips, the sexy silk stockings on her legs, the black strappy heels that drove him wild. It was sensory overload. He instinctively reached below his waist with his right hand, taking hold of his erection, and braced himself by extending his left arm against the tile wall.

  Once he felt relief, he turned off the water and grabbed the towel to dry off. Rubbing his tired eyes, he let the bath towel drop onto the floor and crawled into bed naked. Sebastian drifted off to sleep quickly, yet erotic dreams of Tess did not escape his consciousness.

  He had entered such a deep sleep that he didn’t hear Tess knock on his door around 10:00 a.m. She slowly opened the door to find him snoring softly, sound asleep in the middle of the bed with a mound of pillows surrounding his head. She padded gently toward him and sat on the edge of the mattress without disturbing his sleep. Tess had never seen him without his shirt, and noticed the word Libertine tattooed on his bicep. She reached out to touch it with her fingertips. The movement startled Sebastian, who sat straight up. The duvet fell down around his waist, threatening to expose him. His normally perfect hair was standing out at various angles. Tess sucked in a breath.

  “Tess?” he muttered in his hazy state of mind, somewhere in between dreaming and reality.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” she apologized.

  “No, it’s okay,” he responded, reaching over to the bedside table to grab his wristwatch. He yawned deeply.

  Tess caught a glimpse of his bare hip bone and quickly turned away. She realized he was naked under the sheet.

  Sebastian looked at the time. “Damn, I overslept.” He noticed her blushing and enjoyed it, making no attempt to cover himself up. He was getting under her skin, too, he realized.

  “You promised me art today,” she reminded him, focusing on his face and careful not to let her gaze move lower.

  “Yes, I did.” He stretched, and the duvet slipped another inch.

  “Well, get dressed—and please wear your jeans so I don’t feel so out of place.”

  “Yes, darling,” he playfully replied. Grabbing the edge of the sheet with his fist, he began to lift the sheet. Tess was out of his room in a flash. Sebastian fell back onto the pillows laughing.

  Thirty minutes later, he joined Tess downstairs in the living room. Even dressed casually, Sebastian was handsomely groomed. He wore a white shirt, navy tie, and a gray merino wool V-neck sweater, which he tucked into his belted jeans. “Ready?”

  She looked at the tie and shook her head—at least he was wearing jeans. “Why aren’t you wearing your sneakers?”

  “They don’t match my coat,” he informed her as he opened the front door. They walked down the stone stairs onto Park Avenue and out into another beautiful New York City day.

  Sebastian and Tess made their way toward Central Park and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, choosing to walk rather than hail a taxi.

  “Tell me about the Libertine tattoo.”

  He looked over at her as they stopped on the street corner and waited for the light to turn green. “Do you know the definition?”

  “Yes,” s
he nodded. “It describes someone who is a free thinker in religious matters or a person who indulges in sensual pleasures or vices. Somehow I don’t think the first meaning applies.” She rattled the definition, sounding like a walking dictionary. “Why did you do it?”

  “Alistair called our little trio the Libertines. One night we got really pissed and thought it would be a good idea for the three of us to get a tattoo to commemorate our bond. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

  “So was it a good idea?” They stepped into the intersection and continued on their way.

  Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t know. When you’re sober it’s obvious that it was a stupid thing to do, but I don’t regret it. It’s a reminder of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.”

  Sebastian enjoyed watching the people they passed as they made their way toward the museum. Mothers pushed baby strollers, people were jogging, some walked their dogs, and a sweet old couple walked hand-in-hand, slowly making their way through the park.

  “Let’s get a soft pretzel,” she urged, stopping in front of the vendor’s silver cart. “Two please.” She reached in her pocket and grabbed a few dollar bills to pay.

  Sebastian let her spend her own money. He knew it would please her to pay, and they hadn’t eaten any breakfast. She handed him one of the pretzels.

  “There not very soft,” he mumbled as he choked on the hard, dry pretzel. They continued their walk and thankfully there was another vendor just a short distance away. He bought them each a bottle of water and pitched the half eaten pretzel in the rubbish bin.

  “They are pretty awful, aren’t they?” she said, also tossing hers in the bin.

  “We’ll have a proper lunch at the Met.”

  They continued on their way and soon came upon the entrance of the museum. They started to walk up the grand staircase when Sebastian stopped and said, “Wait.” He gently took her hand and stopped her from walking any further ahead of him.

  “What is it?” she asked, turning to look him the eye. She was a few steps above him, which actually made her petite frame the same height as Sebastian.

  “I want to kiss you on the steps of the Met,” he muttered, closing the gap between them and honing in on her lips.

  “In front of all these people?”

  He never spoke his reply. Instead he kissed her, taking Tess in his arms. The world around them faded away.

  Chapter 12 - Mad World

  It was the twenty-first of December and Sebastian wasn’t feeling very joyous. He wished he could just speed up the calendar and the whole holiday would be over, and his mother would fly off to her next destination. She hadn’t yet arrived in Pennsylvania and he was already consumed with dread.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Tess asked, nudging him with the tip of her pencil.

  “What?” he asked absentmindedly. He was having trouble concentrating on his homework and he squirmed uncomfortably in his chair.

  “What’s wrong? You’ve been unusually quiet and moody this week.”

  “You haven’t seen anything yet,” he muttered, closing the book in front of him.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  “Let’s just call it a day.”

  “Tess, are you home?” her mom called from the living room.

  Tess left the kitchen to join her mom and Sebastian followed, grateful for the distraction. Kate was standing in the middle of the room with a big smile on her face, holding a thick white envelope in her hands. “It’s from NYU.”

  Tess quickly grabbed the envelope from her mom’s outstretched hand and tore it open. Her eyes frantically scanned the letter. “I’m accepted,” she whispered with relief. She hugged her mom and started crying.

  Sebastian stood back, watching it all play out. He wanted to be happy for her, but he couldn’t pull himself out of his own misery.

  “Why are you crying?” her mom asked.

  “I spent so many years working toward this one moment. I can’t believe I did it. I mean, I was fairly confident, but you just never know.”

  “I always had faith in you, Tess,” her mother said.

  Tess handed her mom the acceptance letter. “Look at the cost of the dorm room! That doesn’t even take into account the mandatory meal plan and books. How are we going to pay for all this?”

  “I’ve been planning for your college education since you were born. Between the college fund and the scholarship, there’s enough money.”

  “I should be going so you two can celebrate. Congratulations, Tess.” Sebastian gave her a quick hug and showed himself out the door before she could protest. He got into the car and headed toward New Jersey. Sebastian needed a drink and remembered a liquor store on Route 73 just over the bridge. He needed to stock up for his mother’s impending arrival. Alcohol would be the only way he’d make it through her stay.

  He arrived at the Roger Wilco liquor store and picked a few of his favorite brands off the well-stocked shelves. With his brown bags of vodka and scotch safely tucked inside his tote bag in the trunk of the Jag, he crossed back over the Tacony Palmyra Bridge and headed for home.

  Sebastian found Alice in the kitchen, looking through some cookbooks, trying to finalize meals for Lady Irons’ stay. “Has she arrived yet?” he asked as he took off his coat.

  “Her flight’s been delayed. She won’t be here until tomorrow morning,” she answered, looking up from a Julia Childs cookbook.

  “What time?”

  “Seven in the morning.”

  “I’ll be sure to leave for school early then.” At least he had one more night of freedom.

  “Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat,” Alice offered.

  “I’m fine, Alice. I just want to visit with Nanny.” He took his tote bag with his books and the concealed liquor bottles and headed upstairs.

  He knocked on Nanny’s door. Inside he found her watching the telly. “Sebastian, I’m glad you popped in. Your mother’s arrival is delayed.”

  Sebastian took a seat next to her and gave her a brief hug. “That was the best news I’ve had all day.”

  “You can’t let her impending visit upset you. You’ve done so well here in America. This is your time to stand up for yourself—show your mother that you are in control of your life.”

  Sebastian gave her a melancholy smile. “You’re brilliant to say so, Nanny, but you know six months away from her doesn’t mean she’s going to stop pushing me to do what she desires.”

  “You need to talk to her, Sebastian. You need to tell her what you want.”

  “And if she won’t listen?”

  “Sebastian, I’ve given you the money for your schooling.” She paused before continuing. “You need to make a decision. Either you mend your relationship with your mother or you forego it all together.”

  “She could disown me.”

  “It’s a strong possibility. Are you prepared for it?”

  “How would we live, Nanny?”

  “I have some money stashed away. If you continue to invest it wisely, you could live the remainder of your life off the interest alone.”

  Sebastian chuckled. “Have you got a million pounds stashed under your mattress?” It seemed ludicrous that his sweet, loving nanny could be so wealthy.

  “Hiding money under a mattress is for old fools. I prefer the stock market and a good financial advisor.”

  Sebastian studied her face; there wasn’t a hint of jest in her voice. Was it even possible? “You’re completely serious, aren’t you?”

  “Of course I am, my dear boy. I never joke about money.”

  “So if we had to go it on our own, we’d be okay?’

  “Yes.”

  “Nanny, there are so many things I don’t know how to do. All my life, I’ve always had someone to do it for me.” He shook his head in defeat.

  “Well, then we’ll just have to come up with a plan.”

  “So you’ll still stay with me? Please tell me you won’t go back
to England and work for some other family.”

  Nanny patted him on the knee. “I’m getting old, Sebastian. I won’t be around forever.”

  “Don’t say that,” he interrupted. “You’re all I have.”

  “Nonsense! You have Sigourney, Henry, Alice, and don’t forget Tess.”

  “I don’t know where that relationship is going, Nanny. Just because I’m in love with her doesn’t mean she loves me back.”

  “Well, of course she does, my dear boy. It’s obvious.”

  “It’s not obvious to me. We did have a wonderful time in New York, but ever since, it’s been strictly school studies.”

  “You need to tell her you love her.”

  “I need to tell Tess I love her. I need to tell my mother I won’t follow her wishes. I need to get accepted to NYU.” He slumped forward and placed his head in the palms of his hands. “I can’t do it. I don’t have the energy or the strength to do it.”

  “You can,” Nanny encouraged. “And you will.”

  Sebastian didn’t sleep well that night. He had nightmare after nightmare. In one, he was destitute and homeless, living on the streets. His mother threw him a pound note as she was chauffeured through the streets of London in a bright and shiny Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow. Then the dream shifted. He was on his knees telling Tess how much he loved her. She responded with loud and echoing bellows of laughter, rebuffing his advances and walking off hand and hand with the quarterback. He awoke with a start, gasping for air, beads of perspiration covering his brow. It was still dark outside, but he shuffled to the shower, knowing he needed to start his day earlier than usual to avoid Lady Irons’ arrival.

  Sebastian left Edgewood and pulled up to the Hamilton home at 7:00 a.m. With his mind on his mother’s arrival, he shook the thought away and knocked on the front door. Tess answered quickly and she looked at him skeptically.

  “I brought you some hot chocolate,” he said, offering her the steaming cup. “I’d like to drive you to school today.”