Life's What You Make It: Love's Great Adventure Book 1

by Troutman, Theresa

  “You could never lose yourself,” he reassured her softly.

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because you are the strongest, most self assured person I have ever met.”

  Moved by his simple yet honest words, Tess leaned in closer to him. “This is so complicated,” she muttered, her lips just inches away from his. A moment later, she kissed him on the mouth, her stomach doing little flips-flops while her heart wildly palpitated.

  “I suspect life never gets easier, but I know that I’m in love with you. I don’t want you to be afraid to love me back,” he whispered between their quick urgent kisses. “Please let me make love with you?”

  She had no energy left to resist him; Tess wanted this just as much as he did. Swallowing hard, she surrendered with an affirmative nod of the head.

  Sebastian smiled and sighed simultaneously. He swiftly pulled Tess into an embrace and looked into her eyes to be sure she had not changed her mind.

  Tess assured him in hushed tone with a single word: “Yes.”

  * * *

  She said yes. He had to stop for a moment to make sure it wasn’t wishful thinking. After so many months of failed attempts, he found it hard to believe his wish was about to come true. For some unknown reason, Tess always let down her guard when she was away from home, and this time was no different. It was as if they were immersed in their own little world where no one else existed. This was the place that he was happiest. Somehow he sensed it was the same for her.

  Tess placed her hands behind his neck and ran her fingers through his perfectly coifed hair. Oh, she definitely said yes. He was going to make love to her right now. He would finally be able to show her how he felt in his heart and every fiber of his being. He turned her around so he was facing her back and gently placed his hands on her shoulders, kneading his thumbs into her shoulder blades, massaging away any stress she might harbor. He leaned down and kissed the erogenous spot on her neck below her left earlobe.

  “You know you drive me crazy when you do that?” she helplessly murmured.

  He playfully bit her earlobe and then let his tongue trace a trail down her neck to the base of her shoulder. Sebastian could feel her pulse race under his touch. He spun her back to face him and unbuttoned her blouse until it opened up to reveal a simple, beige cotton bra. He unzipped her skirt and she slowly shimmed out of it, letting it drop to the floor.

  It was a strange ballet, a movement of arms and legs intertwined. They fell onto the bed with Sebastian on top. He pulled away to look at her. She was only wearing her bra and panties; her long hair was fanned across the bed.

  “I love you so much. We can go slowly. Just talk to me. Tell me what you like and don’t like. This is about the two of us,” Sebastian explained.

  Tess tugged at his tie and pulled off his suit coat. Sebastian knelt on the bed frantically unbuttoning his own shirt and threw it on the floor. Then he removed his trousers and boxers, leaving himself naked. He covered her bare skin with little kisses, lingering at the curve of her breast. With a quick, expert motion, he unhooked her bra, sliding the straps over her shoulders until it fell away. He then removed her panties and she was finally naked. His eyes danced in the wonder of her beauty. Sebastian had always imagined what Tess might look like without her clothes; the reality was so much better than what he pictured in his mind. He wanted to burn the memory into his brain so he could treasure it for all time. Not taking this moment for granted, Sebastian was determined to show her how amazing sex could be. He wanted to give himself to her completely, without conditions or demands. This desire had never occurred with any other woman, and it was both terrifying and exhilarating.

  He ran his hand along the inside of her thigh. Her skin was soft and silky under his fingertips. When he rubbed her clit, she let out a soft moan.

  He hesitated before she gasped, “Don’t stop.”

  Sebastian kissed her again on the lips while his hand continued to explore below her waist. Their tongues danced as her temperature rose. Her skin was warm to the touch. First he inserted was one finger inside her, then another. He felt Tess completely aroused by him and he wanted to make her come, make her feel ecstasy.

  Sebastian trailed kisses down her body, starting with her neck and moving down to her breasts, tummy, and thighs. Soon the combination of fingers and his tongue between her legs made her quiver and pushed her over the edge. She called out his name. It made him smile, looking at her glowing in pleasure, her gorgeous full breast heaving with a shortness of breath. “Are you happy?” he whispered, crawling up toward her face.

  “Yes,” she replied. “I love you, Sebastian.”

  He had waited so long to hear those three little words come from of her beautiful mouth. Sebastian laughed with joy. “Say it again.”

  “I love you,” she whispered breathlessly, three times. “I want to feel you inside me.”

  He fumbled with his bedside table drawer and grabbed a Durex condom. Ripping the foil packet, Sebastian rolled the condom over his erection. Ever so slowly and gently, he entered her. The sensation was overwhelming. He had been with other girls, but this, this was the most amazing feeling he had ever experienced. Warm, tight, home—this was how it felt to be inside her. It was a perfect rhythm of two people coming together as one. It seemed as if they were meant to be together, Tess instinctively arching her back to meet his slow thrust.

  “Does this feel okay?” he asked, concerned about her comfort.

  “Oh, yes,” she managed to say between ragged breaths.

  Sebastian picked up the pace as a small tingle of excitement began in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly he felt Tess’ muscles contract, squeezing him until he could hold back no longer and climaxed. He stayed there on top of her, waiting for his pulse to regulate and his breathing to return to normal.

  “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he questioned with concern, brushing the hair out of her eyes.

  “No,” she replied, holding onto him, clasping her hands on his lower back. It seemed as if she didn’t want him to leave her.

  He slowly pulled out and rolled over onto his back, exhausted. Sebastian wrapped his arms around Tess, placing her head on his shoulder.

  “Is it always like that? Is it always that wonderful?” Tess asked.

  “I have never felt this type of intense passion with anyone, Tess. I love you,” he whispered as his eyelids became heavy with sleep.

  “I love you, too.”

  “Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for trusting me and letting me love you like this.”

  In the morning, they dressed in their best clothes and walked down to the rose garden. It was sprawling—so much bigger than the garden at Edgewood. “I understand why she loved it here,” Tess observed as they walked up and down the pebbled paths, which were arranged in neat vertical rows. In the center of the garden sat a small water fountain. Stone fish flanked the North, South, East, and West sides, their mouths spouting a steady stream of water into the large basin. Several small birds, which were enjoying a dip in the cool water, took flight when Tess and Sebastian approached.

  Sebastian knew just where he wanted to go. He stopped in front of the Heritage Roses, which were just beginning to show beautiful buds. He was clutching Nanny’s remains in the rosewood box. He had so many thoughts coursing through his head that he wasn’t sure where to start or what to say. He stared into space, unmoving.

  Tess held onto his arm. “Can I say something?” He nodded and she began, speaking from the heart. “Nanny Jones, I have a lot to thank you for. You may not have been the catalyst that brought Sebastian into my life, but your guidance and support made Sebastian give me a chance. To this day, I still don’t understand why he puts up with me. I can be pretty tough on him sometimes.”

  Sebastian chuckled, his shoulders easing forward slightly, the tension abating.

  “But you raised a beautiful boy who became an amazing man—someone who I fell in love with. Thank you for always being there for Se
bastian.” She couldn’t contain her tears, so she let them flow, wiping them away with a tissue she held in her hand.

  Sebastian leaned down and kissed the top of Tess’ head. He drew strength from her words and began his own farewell. “Nanny, there are no words to express the deep and utter devastation I feel with your loss. You were my mother. You taught me so many things that I can’t wait to pass onto my own children someday. I hope you are at peace. I know you’ll be happy here for all eternity. I love you.”

  He opened the box and slowly scattered the ashes. Sebastian didn’t want to let Nanny go and took his time, watching the gray ashes fall upon the rose petals. When the box was empty, he handed it to Tess. Sebastian took a pair of shears out of his coat pocket and snipped a few roses. He placed them inside the rosewood box and closed the lid. They walked to the fountain and sat on the stone bench, silently remembering Nanny. They stayed until storm clouds began to gather overhead. Sebastian put his arm around Tess and together they walked back to the house.

  When they entered the house, a valet approached them. “Sir, would you like to have breakfast in the dining room?”

  “No, could you just bring a tray up to my room?”

  “Of course, sir.” The servant nodded and went on his way.

  Tess and Sebastian went back to his bedroom. “That was tough,” he admitted, placing the box on the bedside table. He reached inside his coat pocket and took out Nanny’s wedding band. He placed it in the box along with the roses and then closed the box with a soft click.

  “What you said out there was really beautiful,” Tess said.

  There were tears in his eyes as he accepted the complement from her with a smile. “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, Tess.”

  “I know, but you did do it. You did exactly what she wanted. You need to be happy with that.”

  He was about to take a step toward her when a knock echoed from the bedroom door. “Enter,” Sebastian said as the door opened, revealing a kitchen servant with a large round silver tray replete with two plates sporting shiny silver domes. He placed the tray on the sideboard table and quietly left the room, closing the door behind him.

  “Come on, we should try to eat something.” Sebastian pulled out a chair at the small table.

  He poured them both a cup a tea, adding sugar and milk to hers just as she liked, and set it in front of her. He removed the domes and placed them on the floor. Steam wafted from the fine china plates. The cook had prepared fried eggs, crisp bacon, beans, fried potatoes, and a baked tomato. A toast rack sat in the center of the tray, holding its perfectly cut wedges of crispy white bread. “Traditional English breakfast. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to,” Sebastian said, explaining the odd combination of food sitting before them.

  “It’s fine, thank you.”

  They halfheartedly ate their breakfast. Tess pushed the beans around on the plate while Sebastian managed a few bites of each item but nothing more. The somber mood of the day left them little appetite. “I’m not sure I can stay here any longer,” Sebastian admitted. “Do you mind if we shower and leave this morning?”

  “Sure,” Tess agreed, pushing her chair away from the table.

  Sebastian took the remains of breakfast, put all the dishes back on the silver tray, and placed it in the hallway on the floor. He didn’t need someone interrupting them as they showered and packed to leave.

  * * *

  He turned his attention to Tess. Without words they undressed, this time being sure that they placed their fine clothing on hangers so it wouldn’t wrinkle, and stepped into the shower together. Tess sat on the teakwood shower stool while Sebastian washed her hair, gently massaging her scalp.

  “That feels so good,” she told him, tilting her head back. He rinsed the shampoo out of her hair then pulled her up from the stool. He took the French milled soap and lathered it up in his hands before he began to clean Tess’ back.

  Tess couldn’t believe this was happening to her. Three days ago she had agreed to spend the night with Sebastian out of concern for his well being. Last night, they finally made love, and it was spectacular. She had heard other girls talk at school about how the first time was quick and uncomfortable. This was definitely not Tess’ experience. Sebastian made her feel desirable, special, and loved. How was she ever going to go back home and pretend this didn’t happen—that her life hadn’t been changed forever?

  The sadness they felt turned into concern and care for one another. The events of the past few days threw them into a hurricane of emotion. In the eye of that hurricane, there was an eerie calm. It was a place of quiet oneness. They no longer felt like separate individuals; they moved and thought as one person. It was an overwhelming feeling that was new to both of them.

  Sebastian turned off the water. They stood there in the shower kissing each other, the steam rising from their wet bodies. “We should get going,” Tess whispered as she kissed his bare chest, which was beaded with drops of warm water.

  “We can wait a little longer,” he said, pressing up against her, aroused again.

  “Okay,” she agreed breathlessly, feeling the same pangs of excitement.

  They made their way back to the bed. Sebastian lay on his back and Tess straddled him, her hands splayed over his smooth chest. She didn’t think she could ever get tired of looking at his naked body, with his sculpted abs and strong arms. He felt so good inside her—warm, hard, home. They were so in tune with each other, lost in the moment, feeling the power and passion of their lovemaking. They didn’t hear the key turning in the lock.

  Lady Irons walked into Sebastian’s room, catching them completely off guard. Tess quickly lay down on Sebastian’s chest to avoid Lady Irons’ stern glare—as well as the embarrassment of the situation.

  “Sebastian,” Lily said in calm, even voice, “I want to see you in the library immediately.” She turned on her heel and left, leaving an aura of darkness in the room.

  Tess apologized for something she had no control over, but it was the only thing she could think to say. “I’m so sorry, Sebastian.”

  “She had no right barging in here. You didn’t do anything wrong. That door was locked and I’m not a child.”

  “Your mother walked in on us making love. I’m so embarrassed!” Her cheeks were red from the combination of exertion and awkwardness. She unconsciously covered her breasts with her arm, should the woman return.

  Sebastian began to laugh and Tess playfully punched him in the arm. The lingering tension suddenly subsided. “I thought it was quite amusing. You should have seen the look the on her face.” He sighed, leaning his head back into the pillow. “I guess I’ll have to go see what she wants.”

  He put on his white shirt, but didn’t button it. He grabbed his jeans and slipped them on. Sebastian ran his fingers through is wet hair instead of using a comb and properly styling it. “Here I go. Wish me luck.”

  “Should I get dressed?”

  “Don’t you dare! Stay right there, darling.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”

  “Good luck.”

  He grinned. “The game is not over yet.”

  Sebastian left the room, closing the door behind him. Tess fell back onto the mound of pillows covering the bed. Sebastian always compared his relationship with Lily to a game. Tess was sure this move was checkmate, but she didn’t know who was about to lose the game.

  Chapter 17 - It’s My Life

  Lady Irons paced the hand-knotted Persian rug in the library, taking broad steps back and forth, her head held high and demanding. Sebastian entered the room, his hair disheveled and white shirt untucked and unbuttoned. “Don’t grin at me young man. I don’t find this situation very amusing. Thank goodness the house manager had the sense to call me when you decided to drop in for a visit.”

  Sebastian smiled. “Why did you summon me?”

  “I don’t take kindly to the scene I just witnessed. Sebastian, I will not have you being seduced by some mid
dle-class social climber. You said you weren’t sleeping with her.”

  “I believe my exact words were ‘I’m not fucking her,’” he reminded Lily. “Now I am. Maybe you should have knocked before you barged into my room. The door was locked. Good manners of the elite upper class dictate a knock on the door and permission to enter.”

  With one swift move, she closed the distance between them and slapped him across the left cheek with a loud crack. “You never cease to disappoint me. You’re no better than your father.”

  Sebastian was stunned by her outburst. The slap was hard and he bit his lower lip to stop from crying out in pain. He would not give her the satisfaction of emotion. A red imprint of her hand was beginning to rise on his skin. “Bitch,” he muttered under his breath. “You never gave me the opportunity to know my father.” Something clicked in his brain as he spoke the words. Finally it all made sense: Sebastian had just repeated the same sin as his father. All these years she was domineering because she feared he would be a carbon copy of his father. She had no right to project her fears and anger onto him.

  “Sebastian, this is highly uncalled for. Have you lost your senses?”

  “Why do you even care? You didn’t raise me,” he spat. Sebastian walked over to the sideboard and poured himself a scotch. He downed it in one gulp and slammed the glass on the table. “And for the record, Tess did not seduce me. If I’m going to sleep with someone, then it will be with whomever I damn well please. All my life you’ve done nothing but make me feel worthless and miserable. When I finally find someone who makes me happy, you want to ruin that, too. I’m not going to let you. Not this time.” Sebastian balled his fists in determination.