A Promise For Tomorrow

by Barnes, Miranda

  'Can you stop on with us a bit longer, do you think Sarah?''

  'Of course I can. What about the men who are missing?'

  He listed the three. 'Crashed their car last night. Broken this, and broken that.' He shook his head. 'You'd think they'd know better, wouldn't you?'

  She assumed late night frolics had been involved. 'Boys will be boys, unfortunately,' she said quietly.

  'Aye. You're right. Now I'll have to go hospital visiting. But these jobs have to be finished first. I'm going to have to leave you to do everything in here yourself. Can you manage?'

  'Why aye, man!' She gave him a grin. 'You'd better go and see if you can remember how an engine works, Ted.'

  He chuckled. 'What a thing to happen, eh?'

  But he went off cheerfully enough. She suspected he would enjoy himself, wielding a spanner again.

  There were customers to call, parts to order, bills to pay, and that was all before the tea had to be made. She got on with it. Time flew by.

  Just after ten she got an unexpected phone call. 'It's me. How are you?'

  'India! I'm fine, thanks. How are you? Still busy?'

  'A bit more comfortably busy now the bargain hunters have disappeared. But, yes, the shop's doing very well.'

  'That's good.'

  'I do miss our morning coffee together, though,' India said wistfully.

  'Me, too.' Sarah chuckled. 'It's busier than ever in here. I could do with an hour over a nice cup of coffee right now.'

  'I'd better let you get on, in that case.

  'I've been talking to Peg again,' Ted said a day or two later.

  'How is she?'

  With the phone tucked between her cheek and her shoulder, Sarah listened to Ted and continued filing slips of paper, while she waited for the man at the other end of the phone line to decide whether he wanted to go ahead with the work on his car or not now he knew how much it would cost.

  'Oh, Peg's all right. Nothing wrong with her. In her element, I should think.'

  'And your son?' she added. 'How are things going? Is he any better?'

  Ted sighed. 'I can't make out what's going on. He's fit enough, I think, but Peg says he's very depressed.'

  Sarah gave a sympathetic wince. She knew depression could be a difficult condition to manage.

  'You do?' she said into the phone. 'Good. Next Tuesday all right for you? Thank you, Mr. Jackson!'

  She put the phone down. It rang again immediately. She picked it up.

  'Actually, the wedding's off, Peg says,' Ted said with a sigh.

  'Oh? That's a pity.'

  'It is, and it isn't.' Ted considered and added, 'So Davey's depressed. A lucky escape, if you ask me.'

  'Yes, Mr. Arkle. We're open from seven-thirty. Thank you. We'll see you next Tuesday.'

  'Peg says she wants to stay out there a bit longer,' Ted continued, as if nothing was happening but his conversation with Sarah.

  'Well, if your son is suffering from depression, perhaps she should? It's not an easy situation, is it?'

  'In a way, it's brought things to a head,' Ted said. 'She'd been talking about it for a while.'

  'What's that?'

  Sarah scanned the in-box on her computer, not bothering with most of them. 'There it is!' she exclaimed. 'That's the one I've been waiting for.

  'Your brake pads for the Volvo,' she explained. 'They've got them in at last.'

  Ted grunted. 'It's taken them long enough. She's not getting any younger, you know.'

  'Who? Peg?'

  He nodded.

  'What a cheek! Neither are you.'

  He grinned. 'She's been on for a while about having a bit more time for herself. I'm happy enough. This place is where I want to spend my time, but Peg's different.'

  'Being a woman, perhaps?'

  'Aye. That comes into it, I expect.'

  She clattered the keyboard. ' "Yes, please!" is what we say to them, I think.'

  'Who's that?'

  'Smithson's. They want to know if they can come next week to look at that problem with the power supply. ASAP, I told them originally. They don't need to be so cautious and deferential now.'

  Ted nodded. 'So what do you think?'

  'About what?' she said absently. 'Is that the mobile in your pocket, Ted?'

  'Probably.' He ignored it. The beeping stopped. 'Do you fancy stopping on?'

  'Hm?'

  'Doing this permanently?'

  'What? This …?' She stopped and turned to him. 'What are you on about, Ted?'

  'The job. Do you want to stop on with us? Permanent, like?'

  'Well ….' She was stunned. 'Are you serious?'

  'Why aye! Of course I am. Haven't I just been telling you all the ins and outs?'

  She smiled and shook her head with astonishment. 'I'd love to stay with you! Of course I would. I've enjoyed working here. I'm surprised to hear myself say that, in a way, but I have. It would be wonderful to carry on. Thank you, Ted!'

  'That's settled, then. We'll pay you a proper wage, as well, and you'll get the usual benefits. Holidays and such. No more of this minimum wage nonsense.'

  She sat down for a moment after Ted had left, coming to terms with what had just happened. It had come so unexpectedly. But she knew one thing. She was pleased. She really was. She wanted the job. She liked it.

  Greg, the foreman, came in a few minutes later. 'Congratulations!' he said, wearing a broad smile, an expression she hadn't seen on him before.

  She laughed. 'You know? Already?'

  He nodded. 'I told you, didn't I?'

  'Told me what?'

  'Ted keeps good workers on.'

  'You did, yes.' She chuckled and shook her head. 'Is that what I am, do you think? A good worker?'

  'From the first day,' Greg said. 'All the lads think so.'

  Then he gave her a wink and left.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Things were so much easier, and simpler, in the weeks and months that followed. Busier, too, of course, but Sarah didn't mind that. She never had minded being busy. So she went to work, and afterwards she saw as much as she possibly could of Robert and the children.

  They did things together, and it was wonderful. Not big things, or exciting once-in-a-lifetime things. Just ordinary, everyday things. Like playing football and going for boutique ice-cream (a favourite with the children!). But they did them together, and that made the difference. Made them special. The way she felt, her whole life had become special.

  Linda noticed the change. 'I never see you these days,' she said, catching Sarah emerging from the flat one morning.

  'Busy, busy, busy!' Sarah said. 'Having a job to go to makes a difference. I have no spare time.'

  'It's not only the job, though, is it?'

  'No, it isn't.' Sarah smiled.

  'You're going out with someone?'

  'Yes. I am.'

  'Seriously?'

  'Oh, I don't know about that,' she said with a smile.

  'But it's fun?'

  'More than that, Linda. It's … everything I've always wanted, really.'

  'Good for you! So I was wrong about you and John, wasn't I?'

  Sarah nodded. And glanced at her watch. 'Sorry. I must fly.

  She walked quickly to work, but not so quickly that she couldn't think about Linda's comment. Yes, Linda had been wrong about her and John. Since that first evening when Robert had taken her out she had known that. John had not been the one. And Robert was? Oh, she didn't know about that! Far too soon, but …? But he might be. She could dare to hope.

  *

  That evening she went straight from work to Robert's house. Robert was going to be late home and she had said she would relieve the child minder for him.

  'There you are, Sarah!' Holly cried with delight. 'I was just wondering when you were coming.'

  'I'm not late, am I?' she asked, looking at the woman who had been looking after the children.

  'No, of course not,' the woman said.

  'But I was
still wondering where you were,' Holly said. 'I was waiting for you.'

  'Well, here I am. What do you want me to do?'

  Holly screwed her face up and had a quick think. 'Make me a jam sandwich, and then read me a story, please.'

  'All right. I can do that. Let me get my coat off first.'

  Holly charged off to the kitchen. Sarah smiled at the childminder. 'I assume they've had their tea?'

  'Oh, yes.' The woman smiled. 'Holly just wants some attention, that's all.'

  'Well, what are we here for?' Sarah said with a smile of her own. 'Where's Jack?'

  'Upstairs. He's got one of those computer games.'

  'So he's happy for a while?'

  'For a little while,' the woman said as she prepared to depart. 'No doubt he'll be hungry again soon, as well.'

  'And wanting some attention?'

  'That, too!'

  *

  Sarah was happy to spend time with the children. She was getting to know them so well, and she could tell they liked her as much as she liked them. Especially Holly. Robert had said the little girl had missed her mother a lot, perhaps more than Jack had, and it was easy to see that was probably true. When Sarah was there, Holly rarely let her out of sight and was always looking for cuddles. She was a lovely, affectionate little thing.

  That particular evening Sarah read her a story about a princess who lived on a star and travelled by moonbeam or, in good weather, by sunbeam. Holly seemed to find that a perfectly acceptable way to live. She listened with rapt attention until her eyelids failed her and she slumped into a corner of the sofa.

  Robert smiled when Sarah told him, and said, 'She's just happy to have you near her. You could tell her anything, and she'd listen!'

  It was probably true, Sarah decided.

  Jack was different. He was older, and he was a boy. And he was more emotionally detached, less dependent, and less vulnerable seeming. But he was still glad to have Sarah around. Sarah knew that, and enjoyed the sense of being welcome and wanted.

  'Do you want to play chess again?' he asked her that evening.

  'Later, Jack. I will later. After I've finished this story and got Holly ready for bed.'

  'I'm not going to bed tonight,' Holly said, stirring herself. 'I'm staying up with you.'

  'Oh? Well, perhaps till Daddy comes home.'

  'Yes,' Holly said. 'Till Daddy comes home.'

  But there was a yawn soon afterwards and Sarah knew the little girl wouldn't last much longer.

  She didn't. But Jack did, and he beat her at chess – again!

  'You're very good, Jack.'

  'Not really. Pete Jenkins is better than me.'

  'But you're good, too.'

  He shrugged in that false modest way that was so charming. She smiled. She knew that he knew he was good, even if he did know someone who was better.

  *

  'Are they in bed?' Robert asked when he came through the door not long after.

  'Just. Jack's on his way upstairs. Holly's flat out, though.'

  'Well done!' Robert smiled. 'Thanks. How are you?'

  'Tired! I'm fine, Robert. Really.'

  He nodded, as if he knew that.

  'Are you hungry?' she asked.

  'No. I had something. You?'

  'I'm OK, too.'

  'Oh, well. In that case ….'

  She smiled as he came to her, took her in his arms, gently squeezed her, and kissed her.

  'I've been waiting all day for that,' she breathed as he let her go.

  He smiled. 'These are good days, aren't they?'

  She nodded. 'The best.'

  'One of these days,' he said quietly, still holding her, 'we should talk about ….'

  She knew, could guess, what was coming. Part of her even wanted to hear it. But ….

  'Ssh!' she said dreamily. 'Not yet.'

  *

  They were good days, too. The best of days she had known for such a long time, if not for ever. It was so good to be with Robert. When they were apart, she could hardly stand the wait until she saw him again. The children, too. She enjoyed being with them all, and the sense of being wrapped up in their warmth. It was wonderful.

  Yet …. And yet …. She didn't know. Was this where she should be? With Robert? Was this for keeps?

  Was it worth dropping her guard and joining with him, and the children, properly? She knew that was what Robert wanted. The children, too, almost certainly. Yes? Sometimes, most of the time in fact, she thought yes.

  Yet how terrible it would be if, after a while, she found this wasn't where she really wanted to be, or that she had out-stayed her welcome and they no longer wanted her.

  Better, perhaps, to keep Robert and his children – and they were his, the children, after all – at arms' length. Then if the worst happened, it would be easier to weather, the damage limited. Less pain. Less disruption. She had been there once before, and she didn't want to go there again.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  'You and Robert seem to be doing very well,' India said.

  'Yes. We are.'

  'I'm so happy for you – and for Robert.'

  Sarah smiled.

  'This shop, India, is just amazing. I can't believe how absolutely gorgeous you've made it.'

  'Don't change the subject.'

  'I'm not!'

  'You are.'

  'Well, I'm very happy. There! That what you want to know?'

  'Sit down, Sarah. Just sit down! Have a cup of coffee with me.'

  'I'd love to. You know I would. But I'm on my way to the dentist's. That's why I've got the morning off. I just called in to see you for a couple of minutes.'

  'Time for a quick cup of coffee,' India said firmly, reaching for the kettle. 'Have you seen these mugs? James Anderson, up in Norham, makes them.'

  Sarah leaned down to study the intricate wild-flower pattern. 'They're lovely, aren't they? Where's that?'

  'Where's what?'

  'Norham.'

  'Near Berwick. Inland from Berwick. So what's the problem?'

  'Problem?'

  'You can't fool me, Sarah. I know something isn't right. What is it? Having second thoughts about Robert?'

  Sarah sighed and slumped into a chair. 'Oh, I don't know, India. I really don't. In one sense, everything is wonderful. I love Robert, and the children. We have such lovely times together. Such normal, ordinary things we do. And I like my job. I like everything about my life now.'

  'But?'

  Sarah looked up and smiled ruefully.

  'There's always a "but", Sarah. We both know that. All sensible people do.'

  Sarah chuckled. 'Sensible, India? Is that what we are, you and I?'

  'Well, I may not be terrifically sensible sometimes, but you are.'

  'Maybe that's the trouble. Do you think it might be?'

  'Being too sensible? It easily might.'

  Sarah took hold of the coffee cup India passed to her and studied it. Strange how not all the coffee was dissolved. Little bits floated on the surface, like flotsam and jetsam. Like herself, perhaps.

  'Sarah!'

  She looked up.

  'Avoidance therapy doesn't work. I know. I've tried it. I've tried everything in my time.'

  Sarah smiled ruefully. 'Oh, you're right, India. There is a "but".'

  'What is it this time?'

  'Well, what if after a few more months Robert decides he's sick of me, or I am of him? What then?'

  'Is that what you're worried about?'

  'What about the children? If Robert and I were to split up later on, how would they feel? I mean, after everything that's already happened in their young lives.'

  She stared bleakly at her friend. 'What, then?' she said, insistently. 'How terrible would it be for us all?'

  India sighed. 'There are no guarantees in life, Sarah. You could step in front of a bus tomorrow. Robert could crash that stupid car of his. What about me and Harry? Anything could happen to us – or to anyone else!'

  'I know
, but ….'

  'But you've been there before,' India said gently. 'That's it, isn't it? You and Marty. You were totally committed, and when it went wrong you found it hard to cope. That's it, isn't it?'

  Feeling miserable, Sarah nodded.

  'But you did cope. Remember? You moved and started a new life, and now look at you! You did it, Sarah. You proved you can cope.'

  'But this time there are children involved – and they're not even mine.'

  'Ah! Is that what's bothering you?'

  Reluctantly, Sarah nodded. 'A bit, I think. That poor woman …. It's a big thing, taking over someone else's husband and children. I don't know if I'm strong enough.'

  'Listen to me. Jenny was a fine person. I knew her well, and I can say this with utter certainty. She was my best friend.

  'Believe me, if Jenny had any say in this, I know what she would say. She would want Robert and the children to be happy. And I know she would like you, and want them to be with you. You have no need to worry on that score.'

  'Really?'

  'Really. More coffee?'

  'I'd better not.'

  Sarah sighed and stood up. 'You're such a good friend to me, India. And I do trust you. In fact,' she added, 'I've changed my mind about you.'

  'In what way?'

  'I think you might be a sensible person, after all.'

  'Get out of here!'

  *

  The dentist let her off lightly. One small filling, and that was it. She was grateful. Added to what India had said, she was feeling a bit better by the time she left the surgery.

  Then her mobile rang.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It was Robert.

  'Holly's missing,' he said.

  'What?'

  'We can't find her anywhere.'

  He was obviously distraught. Sarah tried to stay calm. 'Where have you looked, Robert?'

  'The house, the garden, the street … Everywhere! The neighbours haven't seen her. The little girl she plays with … Jack can't find her, on his bike. I'll have to call the police!'

  His voice broke for a moment.

  'Hold on, Robert! Just a moment. When did you last see her?'

  'A couple of hours ago. It's my fault. Why didn't I …'

  'What happened, Robert?'

  'She was climbing about on the window ledge in her bedroom. I was in the garden. The window was open. I looked up …. I ran inside, grabbed her … I told her off. I shouldn't have ….'