Almost a Wedding

by Ruth Cardello

  Nope, he needs to remain a one-time deal—nothing more than a wild memory.

  The door bursts open. It’s Cassidy returning with a parade of stylists behind her. “Found them.” She says it like the search was an ordeal that took more than the five minutes she was gone. “Was lunch delivered yet? No? When I get married I’m going to make sure it’s somewhere with top notch service. This place is a joke.” She sits in a chair and sighs.

  My stylist leads me to a chair and sets up her equipment. Isa describes how she wants everyone’s hair, how excited she is, what time everything will happen. She keeps talking without taking a break, and I wish I could ask Lia and Cassidy to leave because I don’t like what I’m seeing. Isa’s worried, but she’s trying to hide it.

  I want to tell her she doesn’t have to marry Paul. In the moment it might seem like she has to—we’re all here and she might feel trapped, but she isn’t. I can’t say it, though. What if I’m wrong? What if instead of my leg, the memory I give her of today is of me implying I don’t like Paul?

  I don’t know Paul enough to feel one way or another about him. All I know is what she’s told me about him, but that was enough to make me doubt him.

  I hope you love him, Isa. And I pray he loves you as much as you think he does.

  But if you think even for a second that he doesn’t—don’t do this.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Barrett

  “Are you going to do it or not?” I ask Paul when he hesitates at the cliff. Zeke and Gage already dove off and are waving to us from the water below.

  “I have to. It’s symbolic.” Paul squares his shoulders and takes a step closer to the edge. “The staff said they jump off all the time. Zeke and Gage made it. I need to just do it.”

  I wait.

  He doesn’t move.

  I fold my arms over my chest. “Technically, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” I wave down to Zeke and Gage, knowing they can’t hear me. “Those assholes are lucky they didn’t break their necks. What do you want to do, Paul? Because you sure as shit don’t look like you want to jump.”

  “This is my issue, Barrett. Right here. I get this far and I choke. I don’t want to be the guy who—”

  I can’t take it anymore; I shove him off the cliff. He does a wild mid-air flail, but corrects in time to avoid what would have been a painful flop. I wait while he’s under water. If he doesn’t surface, I’ll dive and help the guys find him. If not—

  There he is. He’s pissed as all hell, but he’s treading water. My job here is done.

  With a final wave, I turn away from the cliff. I tell the closest staff member to take towels and a message to the three guys below. “Tell them I’ll meet them at the pool bar.”

  As soon as I walk away I regret the choice. What I don’t need now is time to think. I’m relaxed and at peace with how I spent the morning as long as I don’t let Audrey into my thoughts. With a distraction it’s almost possible, but as soon as I’m alone all I can think about is how much I want to see her again.

  Kiss those sweet lips.

  Sink my cock into her tight pussy again.

  I enjoy women, but I’ve never been one to moon over anyone. There’s a time and place for women. A smart man doesn’t let them become too big of a distraction.

  Why is Audrey different? Was it the sex? She was definitely phenomenal.

  I wish it were just the sex. Her smile lingers in my mind. Isa’s happiness is everything to Audrey, and I admire that about her.

  My first impression of her was she was weak and needy. I don’t see her that way anymore. She’s obviously still struggling with her injury, but that didn’t keep her from attending her friend’s wedding. When things didn’t go her way, she faltered, picked herself up, and put on a brave face. That’s a resiliency I can admire.

  She could have lost her temper when I called her the wrong name, instead she turned it around on me without turning it into a screaming match. I liked that. I couldn’t be with someone I had to be perfect around. I make mistakes. I fuck up. Any woman I’m with needs to be able to call me on it without layering so much emotion and guilt on me that I tune out.

  Audrey is down to earth—sweet—without being a pushover.

  I want to know what she thinks about this wedding. I want to ask her if she has a favorite sports team. Does she like being a graphic designer? Why did she choose that profession? I’m not used to being this curious about a woman.

  Okay, I like her.

  What do I do with that? I’m not looking for a relationship. Would she agree to something temporary? Would it upset her if I asked?

  I order a Scotch on the rocks and look into it as if the answers I seek are there. I’m only halfway done with my drink when Zeke, Gage, and Paul join me. Paul still isn’t happy with me, but he’ll get over it.

  “Not yet ready to take the plunge?” Zeke jokes.

  “You’re a real dick, Barrett. I could have hurt myself.” Paul waves the bartender over. “I’ll have a Scotch too.”

  “Being pushed into anything never feels good.” My words hang in the air. I half expect Zeke or Gage to tell me to back off, but they care about Paul too.

  Paul downs his drink in one gulp. “Spare me the lecture.” He waves for the bartender to bring another drink. I shake my head and give the bartender a hundred dollars to walk away.

  “Isa seems like a very nice woman. But that doesn’t mean you have to go through with the wedding.”

  “Don’t even say that.” Paul’s face goes red. “You know my mother would kill me if I backed out now.”

  “This isn’t about your mother.” I wouldn’t have this conversation with anyone outside of this group. I honestly don’t give enough of a shit about most people to get this involved. Last night it might have been the alcohol talking, or Paul might genuinely not be ready to marry anyone. I need to let him know that he’s not trapped. “Or it shouldn’t be.”

  Zeke pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hate to say it, but I agree.”

  Gage let out an audible breath. “I do as well.”

  Paul buried his hands in his face. “I love, Isa. But marriage seems so—so—”

  “Expensive?” I offer. Zeke smacks my arm.

  “Permanent,” Paul finishes. He turns to Zeke. “How did you know you were ready?”

  Zeke shrugs. “You just know.”

  “That’s not helpful,” Paul grumbles.

  Gage twirls his drink then says, “You get to a point where you think: My life is better with her in it than without her.”

  Paul stares down at his drink. “I do want to marry Isa—but do I want to do it today?”

  “Just jump,” Gage advises.

  “Or don’t,” I counter. Of the three of us, I’m the least qualified when it comes to recognizing love. I’ve never been in love, never wanted to waste my time on it, but it seems to me that Paul isn’t there yet. I stand. I want to support Paul, but I can only stomach so much of this. “Are we putting on tuxes or aiding your escape?”

  “I’m good either way, but a little advance notice would be nice,” Zeke adds as he stands.

  Paul downs the rest of his drink then stands as well. “I’m getting married today.”

  Gage downs his second drink and stands as well. “You heard him—let’s do this.”

  My heart starts racing at the thought of seeing Audrey again. I decide I’m going to not repeat what we did earlier. Even as I make that affirmation I question my resolve. With her, all it takes is one look and all common sense leaves me. When I’m with her it’s easy to forget what I’ve known for a long time—I’m the kind of man who is better off alone. I don’t want the responsibility of another human being, nor do I want to justify that to anyone. Audrey is the type who would probably—I shudder—want children. What are those except parasites designed to suck the joy from your life? It’s too easy to imagine how spending time with Audrey would invite the very conversations I avoid.

  My life is
too good right now to tie how I feel to how anyone else does.

  Marriage might be working out for Zeke.

  Gage might be ready to take the plunge.

  The jury is still out on Paul. I’ll believe it’s happening only when I see it.

  But me? I have nothing to prove to anyone and no desire to jump.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Barrett

  I don’t want to get overly optimistic, but in a tux, standing beside Paul about fifty or so feet from the white flowered arbor on the beach of the island, I’m beginning to believe he’s really going to get married this time. The only hint that he might not is the sweat beading on his forehead. Granted, it’s warm, and he drank in excess last night—but my gut tells me it’s a panic sweat.

  Unlike at the cliff, I refuse to push him here. If this is what he wants, I’ll carry his ass down the aisle to make it possible. If he’s considering backing out, his window to run is quickly closing, but I’ll still aid his escape. I smack his back. “You okay, buddy?”

  He swallows visibly. “This is it. I’m doing it.”

  “That’s why we’re here.”

  His eyes have that deer-in-headlights look. “Isa is incredible. She loves me. She doesn’t judge me. This is the real deal.”

  “Looks that way.” I could ask him if he loves her, but I doubt he’s self-aware enough to know. His mother approves of Isa. His friends like her. She’s nice to him. Who am I to judge if that is or isn’t enough to base a marriage on? Maybe anything more than that is not realistically possible. Once the lust fades maybe all people can hope for is to have picked someone kind enough not to tear them down.

  “Everyone is seated. It’s time, sir,” a male staff member says.

  Paul nods, wipes a hand across his face, and begins the walk to the arbor. His stride is confident.

  The man looks to me. “You don’t have to wait. The best man should go now, along with the groomsmen. You’ll want to line up on this side of him but not block the photographer’s shots. A foot or so back is ample.”

  I start walking. It’s a tastefully expensive setting, but I’d expect nothing less from Paul’s mother. A hundred gold and white chairs and just enough white flowers to not overwhelm. I’m not into weddings, but I have to admit this one is esthetically pleasing. The blue ocean waves make for a picture-perfect backdrop.

  I take my place beneath the white arbor. A second later Zeke appears at my side, then Gage. So far so good.

  The officiant is a dignified older man in a dark suit. If my memory serves me correctly he’s a family friend and a judge. Never a bad combination to have.

  Paul glances at me over his shoulder. He looks a little green. Shit. If he throws up on my new shoes I’ll kill him.

  “I have to—there’s something I need to do before I can do this,” Paul says in a loud whisper.

  “Too late now, son,” the officiant says in an amused tone.

  Paul turns and puts a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

  Processional music begins to play. Out of the corner of my eye I see the first of the bridesmaids starting down the aisle. “It doesn’t look like you have time, Paul. The wedding is starting.”

  “Stall them,” he says and bolts past me.

  “Is he ill?” the officiant asks.

  “I don’t know.” I honestly have no idea.

  As soon as Zeke’s wife takes her place beneath the arbor, she whispers, “Where did Paul go?”

  “He’ll be back,” I say with more confidence than I feel.

  “He didn’t look so good,” Zeke adds.

  A moment later, Cassidy takes her place behind Lia. “You are all aware we’re missing an important part of the wedding.”

  Zeke and I let Gage answer her. She doesn’t look happy, but I’ve met Cassidy several times and I’ve yet to see a genuine smile on her face. Gage says she makes him happy, so that’s all I care about.

  I look down the aisle and my mouth goes dry. Audrey is stunning in a knee-length sea-green dress. It flows around her legs, lifting a little in the wind as if beckoning me. The neckline is modest, but there’s nothing pure about what I’m imagining. Her bare shoulders are begging for my kiss. I want her arms around my neck and those pink painted lips of hers on mine. Her hair is swept up, revealing a delicious amount of neck. Every bit of her looks so good, I’d be hard pressed to decided where to kiss first.

  She looks up, meets my eyes, and it’s a punch that knocks the air clear out of me. I’m tempted to meet her halfway and carry her back to my room. What are we doing here when we could be rediscovering how to please each other?

  From behind me, Zeke says, “You’re drooling, Barrett. Sure you want to be that obvious?”

  I shoot him a glare.

  Gage asks, “What did I miss?”

  Zeke jokes, “Barrett has it bad for the maid of honor.”

  “Not the one we thought Paul—”

  The officiant clears his throat loudly then makes a show of turning his mic off. In a tone that must also work in his courtroom, he says, “Please, don’t let an audience of a hundred family and friends deter you from making a mockery of this.”

  We all fall silent.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Audrey

  As I make my way down the aisle, I notice the lack of a groom beneath the arbor, and I curse myself for not taking Isa aside to ask her if she’d spoken to Paul. I couldn’t ask while we were having our hair and makeup done. Her mother and aunts descended as we dressed. There hadn’t been the time nor the opportunity after that. She’d looked happy, though.

  I’m tempted to turn around to warn her, but she must know. She has a wedding planner whose job it has to be to notice something like a missing groom. I squeeze my bouquet of lilies so tight some of the stems snap.

  It’s going to be okay. It has to be. Paul is probably planning a last-minute dramatic appearance.

  As soon as my eyes meet Barrett’s my fears for Isa take a back seat to a slam of desire I can’t deny. Memories of our lovemaking flick through my mind, warming my cheeks. I know he’s not technically waiting for me, but my body argues he is. My heart is pounding, and I’m humming in anticipation. I indulge in a quick fantasy that involves grabbing his hand and dragging him into the nearest tent. He looks back at me with the same hunger, and I feel young and sexy. Right or wrong, I’m surfacing from a tough time in my life where fear and frustration ruled. Don’t I deserve a little decadence?

  I take my place beneath the arbor. Normally, there would be a bride and groom between us, but Barrett and I are face-to-face before the officiant. I know he’s not the man for me, but for just a moment this all feels so right. It’s unsettling to have such an intense reaction to a man I hardly know.

  I blush and look away. Well, I know him. I enjoyed learning what makes him moan with pleasure. I am fully versed in how to encourage him to continue with one area or move along to another. I just don’t know anything about his family, his life, or his job. He might have a middle name. That seems like something I should know before I let myself fantasize about exchanging vows with him.

  He smiles at me—that sexy I-want-you-again smile.

  Oh, yeah. I smile back. I feel too good not to.

  The officiant leans forward. “Are you a fill-in couple?”

  I snap back to reality. “Oh, no. We hardly know each other. We just—” This probably isn’t the time or the place to discuss how I know Barrett. “Met. We just met.”

  I meet Barrett’s gaze again, and he looks like he’s holding in a laugh.

  I wish we were alone. I’d kiss that smug look right off his face.

  A violinist begins to play, and it gives me an uneasy feeling. She wasn’t supposed to play during the actual ceremony. Isa described the wedding to me, and I remember her saying the violinist was for before and after. Isa had chosen her own music to walk down the aisle to. Several people turn in their seats in anticipation of the arrival of the bride.

  I lean forwar
d. “Where’s Paul?”

  Barrett looks behind him, across an empty expanse of sand. “He said he’d be back.”

  My stomach twists nervously. “Does he realize Isa will be walking down that aisle any second?”

  “I believe he does.”

  “What are we going to do?”

  “We?” Barrett arches an eyebrow. The song ends, but the violinist begins another.

  “We can’t let Isa come down the aisle if he’s not here. You’re the best man—do something.”

  Barrett picks up a microphone, flips it on, and says, “Thank you all for coming. While waiting, Paul asked me to share the story of how we met. If you know Paul, you know he’s obsessed with history. I took a course in it and quickly discovered the subject put me to sleep. Paul noticed me napping and offered to tutor me. I wish I could say I made the process easy for him. He was determined to bring the subject alive for me. He has an extensive collection of historically accurate movies that you absolutely should not ask him about unless you’re willing to lose a weekend binge-watching them. They worked, though. I not only passed that course, but Paul instilled in me an appreciation for history. I wasn’t born into privilege. I hit Harvard with an education that reflected my upbringing. Paul never saw that as a flaw. He opened doors for me, showed me how to bridge the gap between who I was and who I wanted to be. I am honored to be his best man because I cannot imagine a better friend.”

  A shove from behind catches him off guard and he stumbles forward a step, before turning with a smile to wave a thumb at Zeke and Gage. “Oh, and those two aren’t so bad, either.”

  The guests laugh. I’m enthralled. I begin to hope Paul returns. Maybe Isa didn’t choose so badly after all.

  Barrett hands me the microphone. “How did you meet Isa?”

  He’s a tough act to follow, but since everyone’s attention is on me now I have to try. “Isa has been part of my life as long as I can remember. We were side by side in every preschool photo I have. Elementary through high school, we practically lived at each other’s houses. Although we aren’t related by blood, she is my sister in my heart. I can’t imagine my life without her in it. She’s the one who is happiest for me when something goes right and the one I turn to when it doesn’t. I also cannot imagine a better friend. I’m so happy to be able to share this day with her.” Simply because I can’t think of anything else to say, I turn off the microphone and replace it.