by Beth Maria
****
I pull up at Maxine’s place with a few minutes to spare. It’s a good thing the traffic wasn’t bad.
It’s chilly out, with it being the beginning of December. I wrapped myself up in a jumper with my new parka coat that I bought last week. The inside is woolen so it’s lovely and toasty.
Using my key that I have for times like this, I let myself into Maxine’s.
“MAX? WHERE ARE YOU?” I call when I don’t see her in the living room.
“I’M UPSTAIRS.”
When I reach the top of the stairs, I find her in her bedroom, putting on her make-up. It’s a far contrast from the crying woman on the phone only twenty minutes ago. What happened?
“Are you alright?” I ask, treading carefully.
“Of course. I just had a thought while you were on your way. What’s the point in worrying about it in the confines of my house? What good would that do? I need to go to Club Ringer and be there for Dylan. I’ll try one more time to talk him out of it, and if he doesn’t listen, then I’ll just have to stand next to the ring and hope and pray that he doesn’t get killed.”
Even though she’s saying it, we both know she doesn’t believe it. Her voice doesn’t hold the usual chirpiness. It’s monotone – emotionless.
“If that’s what you want to do, I’ll be right beside you.” I place my hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Thank you.” She closes her eyes, breathes in deep, and then turns around to finish applying her make-up. I sit on the edge of her king-size bed and just watch her reflection through the mirror.
Worry lines mar her heart shaped face, lines that weren’t there a couple of weeks ago. This money problem really is taking its toll on her, and Dylan isn’t helping. I don’t know how to help her except by dipping into the money that my father saved for me. There’s enough money there to live comfortably. I don’t want to give Maxine blood money though. I know it’d trace back to here, putting her in danger. That’s the last thing I want.
“Are you going to stay to watch Phoenix fight?” Maxine asks, applying her mascara.
“Phoenix?” What is she going on about?
“Did you forget?” Obviously… “It came up the other week when I told you about Dylan. Phoenix has been training Dylan, getting him ready for his upcoming fight. No doubt they are warming up together tonight. Phoenix has a huge fight tonight, even bigger than that last guy…” I tune out as soon as she says that. No! He can’t be. Why can’t I remember anything about this? That’s when it comes back to me. But a bigger, more anticipated fight than the last? And am I going to go and watch it?
“Erm…” I don’t know what to say.
“You don’t have to. I’ll probably leave after I know that Dylan made his fight unscathed. You can leave with me, if you want?” Maxine’s scrutinizing me closely.
Do I want to stay and watch the fight? It was much easier when it was Dylan that I was going to watch, having to comfort Max, but now that it’s my boyfriend who’s going to be up in that ring, even if he is a professional, it makes my blood run cold.
“I can’t believe I forgot about it…” I murmur.
Maxine stays silent, staring behind me, obviously in her own inner turmoil. I know that I have to go. I have to make sure that he’s okay, that he doesn’t hurt himself, and that he comes out of the ring alive.
“I’m staying to watch.” And I’m going to chew his ass off for going along with this in the first place. I know he most probably won’t change his mind, but I have to at least try.
“I’m ready. Let’s go before we’re late.” I check the clock on the wall, telling me that it’s 8:30pm. We have just over half an hour until Dylan is scheduled to fight apparently.
We hop into Maxine’s car. The closer we get to Club Ringer, the more nervous Maxine becomes. Her hands wring the steering wheel, and she hasn’t said a single word since we left the house. I’m glad because I’m also just as nervous. Every scenario is going through my mind at super fast speed, all things good and bad. It’s making me dizzy. I try to hide it for Maxine’s sake though.
We park outside the underground club. The bouncer must be expecting us as he lets us in straight away, no questions asked. Usually, these places are very hard to get into. I’m not going to complain this time. I need to see Phoenix.
“Where are they?” I ask loudly to be heard over the cheering. It’s crazy in here, the atmosphere intense. Judging from the amount of people here tonight, they’re expecting a good fight.
I feel sick.
“I’m guessing they’re in the same room as last time.” Maxine replies over her shoulder to me, pushing people who are in her line of vision out of the way. She’s a woman on a mission trying to get to her man, and nobody is going to stop her.
After pushing through the throng of people, we finally reach the door where we’re sure Phoenix and Dylan are behind.
“Can I help you?” a big burly bouncer asks Maxine, his voice the deepest voice to have ever graced my ears. Even over the rest of the noise in the room, the floor vibrates from it.
“I’m here to see my Fiancé, Dylan.”
“I’m sorry, but nobody is allowed past this door. Only the fighters.”
“But, I have to speak to him. You need to let me through,” she pleads.
“Boss’ orders, sorry, love,” he denies, looking out toward the crowd. He isn’t going to budge.
“C’mon, let’s go get seats. There isn’t anything else we can do.” I grab Maxine by the arm, linking ours together, and gently pull her toward a couple of spare chairs in the middle of the crowd.
Maxine follows, not saying a word. Her lip is in between her teeth, taking a good biting. This is her serious face. She’s thinking about what to do. I give her time. It also allows me time to think about the fact that I also can’t speak to Phoenix.
The lights go dim, the only lighting coming from above the ring. It looks even more deathly now with shadows casting off of the four walls. The atmosphere is insane though. Music blares through speakers before a guy in a bright green robe walks into my line of vision. My ears are ringing. Half of the crowd is cheering, whereas the other half are booing. The announcer welcomes him as Robert ‘Rocket’ Lewis. Great name, not.
This is the first fight, and everybody is getting rowdy. I wonder what it’s going to be like when it comes round to Phoenix’s fight…
As soon as the guy is in the ring, his robe discarded, different more aggressive music starts up. It’s not long before a guy with a navy blue robe is walking down a path on the opposite side of the building from the other guy, toward the ring. It’s hard to tell who it is from the fact that his head is down. Again, half of the crowd cheers, whereas the other half boos, and then there’s me and Maxine sitting here holding our breath.
“TO THE RING, WE HAVEEEEEEEE A NEWBIE. LET’S WELCOME DYLAN ‘DODGER’ KENT!” the announcer screams into the microphone. The cheers increase, but I only hear Maxine’s audible gasp as the guy discards his robe.
Dylan…
I haven’t seen him for a few weeks, and I’m shocked. He’s put on quite a bit of muscle, not that he wasn’t bulky before, but now? He’s like a machine. His arms are covered in sleeves full of tattoos. It’s quite a contrast with his pretty boy face. I can see why Maxine has always been besotted with him now.
“I don’t know if I can watch this, Em,” Maxine tells me, her voice shaky.
I don’t reply. I just let her know that I’m here. I place my hand on her leg, stopping it from jittering, passing over the little bit of strength that I have left. She needs this more than me, and for once, I don’t plan on being selfish.
The bell dings a few minutes later, signaling the start of the fight.
Everybody watches closely as they circle each other like lions getting ready to pounce. Everybody wants to see how the new guy fares, whether he will get beaten or be the victor. I’m hoping the latter.
Rocket makes the first swing. Than
kfully, Dylan spots it and ducks just in time. I pray to God that Phoenix taught him everything he knows.
It’s tough to watch. Maxine has gone to gripping my hand, squeezing the life out of it, and her leg jittering again. It’s a nervous habit.
It was close. The fight took the whole three rounds. Dylan took a few good punches to the face and stomach, but nothing life shattering. Rocket? Well, he’s currently flat on the floor after Dylan threw the final punch that won him the fight.
I’m impressed, and also a little relieved. I just hope he doesn’t get an addiction for fighting and want to make it a career. I don’t know if Maxine would be able to stand by his side if that’s the case. Or maybe he’s won enough money to see them through until he finds himself a new job? I’ve got my fingers crossed.
“DYLAN!” Maxine shouts. She stands up and starts climbing over everybody to get to him. Dylan hears her over all the hollering, like he’s in tune to her. A smile lights up his face, showcasing a few cuts here and there. As soon as Maxine reaches him, she jumps into his arms and covers his face in kisses. I can’t help the smile that takes over my face. Damn, I’m turning into a romantic these days.
I’m thirsty.
I look around and spot a bar behind me. I could really do with a cold drink to wet my whistle right now. I don’t know how long it is until Phoenix fights, but the waiting is making me nervous, therefore making my mouth as dry as sandpaper.
“Just a water please,” I ask the bartender.
He passes me a bottle of chilled water. I open it and gulp half of it down in one sitting. Very lady like…
I jump out of my skin as the music starts blaring again, signaling the start of another fight. I thought the crowd was intense before, but that had nothing on the racket that they are making now. My ears are ringing. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to leave here with a hearing impediment.
“LETS WELCOME JOE ‘BLACKEYES’ DOUGLAS!” the announcer rumbles loudly.
Time to head back to my seat.
Trying to get through the now eager crowd proves to be a struggle. I stand on a few toes, causing a few cuss words to be sent my way. I just flip them the bird. I’m not in the mood for loud mouthed fools who think that they can talk down to me because I’m a girl. If only they knew who they were calling a bitch…
Different music starts up again, and this time it’s the most aggressive piece I’ve heard yet. The crowd screams, girls start jumping up and down, the guys all hooting and a hollering. Whoever is fighting is obviously well respected around here.
“ARE YOU READY FOR THE MOST ANTICIPATED FIGHT OF THE NIGHT? LET’S WELCOME, PHOENIX ‘THE ASSASSIN’ JAMES!”
My heart stops beating. I’m pretty sure it does. My breath hitches, my vision getting blurrier by the second. I need to sit down. I find the nearest vacant seat and plonk down on it, not caring if anybody is protesting or telling me to get the fuck up. I wouldn’t be able to hear them anyway. All I can hear is a buzzing sound.
And then the bell goes.
It brings me back to the here and now. It starts my heart beating again, causes me to breathe again. It’s only now that I realize that my fingers are clutching the bottle of water so hard that it’s crushed in my palm.
Where is Maxine when I need her? I don’t know if I can do this by myself…
I’m freaking out. Close your eyes and take deep breaths, I tell myself. I close my eyes and do just that. I try to drown out everything that is going on around me and picture a happy place.
****
Seven years earlier…
Phoenix and I are lying in my backyard on a blanket and just staring up at the night time sky. This is my favorite thing to do at the moment. Even if I’ve had a bad day, I can’t wait until the evening, when I get a few hours of peace and comfort from my best friend.
The stars are out full force tonight, and it’s a sight to behold. I could lie here all night long and be content, not having a care in the world and being surrounded by nature. Phoenix and I have been doing this every day for the past week, since the weather got a little cooler and the days are getting darker earlier. It’s my favorite time of the year – autumn.
“What are you thinking about?” Phoenix whispers.
I can feel his icy blues staring into the side of my head. Lying on my back, I turn my head to face him and tell him, “I’m thinking that this is my favorite thing to do.” I give him a cheesy smile which he reciprocates. “You?” I ask.
He licks his lips, drawing my attention to them.
Why does he have to have such delectable lips?
“I’m thinking that the stars are beautiful, but they don’t hold a torch compared to you. Your beauty outshines everything,” he whispers, barely audibly. I hear it though. Damn right I hear it.
A blush covers my face, but I don’t reply. I can’t. I don’t know what to say. I don’t have to though. Phoenix grabs my hand, linking our fingers together. It’s all that needs to be said.
We have each other.
****
I love having that flashback. I’m reminded of one of the many times that Phoenix has made me smile and feel loved.
My breathing is finally under control. I can see without my vision being blurry. I wish I couldn’t though.
Phoenix looks delectable in just a pair of white shorts, his bare sculpted chest rising and falling with every breath he takes. His skin is so shiny. What I wouldn’t do to run my tongue down his chest, to feel his rock hard abs underneath my palms…
*Ding Ding*
The bell goes off, dragging me out of my lust infused fog. Terror slams against my chest as my eyes land on Phoenix’s flawless face, his teeth encased with a mouth guard, but his face? It’s screaming danger. His eyes are completely dead, holding no emotion, and even though he has a mouth guard in, his jaw is set tight. He looks lethal. If I were his opponent, I’d be crapping my panties right about now.
Just like in Dylan’s fight, they circle each other like lions. Both of them are spitting fire through their eyes.
I have a really bad feeling about this fight…
I watch, though I’m not really with it.
Why do people put themselves through this? I wouldn’t want to risk the chance of being hit square in the face. Is it engrained into men’s DNA or something? The thrill of getting hurt? Of having a black eye or a busted lip. No, I don’t think I’ll ever understand.
“Oooooo!” the crowd chants.
I flick my eyes toward the cage. Phoenix has just landed a blow onto the guy’s face. It doesn’t deter Joe ‘Blackeyes’ Douglas. I silently laugh. What a stupid name. All of the names they call themselves are stupid. Why can’t they just use their names, instead of adding an extra one to it? You know, like Phoenix James instead of Phoenix ‘The assassin’ James? It’s cringey.
I sit quietly, my leg now jittering, watching the fight before me. Phoenix takes his fare share of hits, as does his opponent. It’s so close. I honestly don’t know who is going to win. I think Phoenix has met his match with this guy.
The bell rings, indicating the end of round two. I sneak a quick look at Phoenix’s face now that he’s sitting down.
Oh, Jesus.
I really wish I hadn’t. I feel sick. I think I might actually be sick.
His face isn’t the flawless face that walked into the cage not even ten minutes ago. Nope. One of his eyes is nearly swollen shut, his eyebrow split with blood running down his face, and his lip is also cut. He looks a mess.
The dreaded bell rings again. It’s the start of round three, the final round.
It’s all or nothing now, Phoenix.
He’s a little wobbly on his feet, as is his opponent. I don’t think I can watch. I need to leave.
Standing up, I look around for the exit, finding it right in the far corner. I’m going to have to push everybody out of my way to get there, but I’ll do it.
One quick look at Phoenix.
He’s staring right at me, his one good eye starin
g intensely at me.
I scream. Phoenix doesn’t see it coming. Then he’s down, lying motionless on the ground, face down.
I run in the opposite direction of the exit – straight toward Phoenix, my life.
I push and shove people who get in my way. I don’t hear their curses or insults. I have one mission – to get to Phoenix.
This is my fault. Had I just stayed sitting down instead of being a coward and getting up to leave, he wouldn’t be lying on the ground right now. He’d possibly have won the fight. I’ve ruined everything.
“PHOENIX!” I scream, rattling the cage. Nobody lets me in. Even when I protest, telling them that I’m his girlfriend, they don’t let me in. I’m left standing to the side, on my hands and knees, crying.
“Em?” Maxine’s voice floats through the fog. I can’t reply. My throat is dry, and my heart is breaking, yet again. “C’mon, love. We need to get to the hospital. They’re going to transfer him there now because he’s not waking up.”
Dylan and Maxine both help lift me up. I’m limp in their arms. I have no energy to hold myself up.
The cage opens, and Phoenix is brought out on a stretcher. He’s rolled through double doors, and then he’s out of sight, not out of mind though. He’s all that is on my mind.
His face as he spotted me in the crowd, his eyes cold and intense. The way his body flew into the air before landing on the ground with a thud. It makes me shiver just thinking about it, but it’s all I can think about.
As soon as we’re outside, the fresh air hits my face.
I don’t remember how I got into the backseat of Maxine’s car. I just know that I did. The street lights reflect off of my eyes as we pass them on our way to the hospital. But most of all? The sky is full of stars. Tonight would have been the perfect night to lie under the stars. Now I don’t know if Phoenix will ever get to do that, all because I decided I couldn’t watch anymore…