Marie, Laura - Miss: Never Gonna Love Again [The Miss: Series] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

by Laura Marie

  That earned her a toss across the bedroom and a large bruise on her back from landing hard against the corner of the bedside table.

  Tears threatened to fall, but a hard swallow ushered them back and the cold breeze sent a chill through her body. She could feel the coldness penetrate her blue jeans, reminding her of the snow that was expected later in the week. Although most of the people around these parts weren’t used to a lot of snow, she loved the white stuff. She felt content as she sped the mare up into a fast sprint across the open fields, admiring the views down through the rolling pastures toward the lake.

  Despite the coldness, it felt invigorating, and for a moment she embraced the lost memories. Riding was as natural as walking, and Julianna enjoyed those long, Sunday afternoon rides with her mom and dad. Even the air felt different around here. Breathing in the fresh air, her mind reminisced about the old times. She could practically smell the homemade fried chicken in the basket, the coleslaw, and brownies for dessert. Thoughts she had denied herself the pain of remembering seemed to be crashing down into her mind with each day back home in Texas.

  In the distance, something caught her eye and she headed towards it despite the unnerving emotion.

  * * * *

  Johnny Black finished saddling his mare, Lightning. He was looking forward to a long, relaxing ride. Thoughts of another sleepless night and the dreadful feeling that the nightmares would continue had him grasping at straws in ways to clear his mind.

  “Sheriff?”

  Johnny didn’t even turn towards the voice. He knew it was Roy Palmer.

  Even without a reply, Roy walked closer and began stating his business.

  Johnny liked Roy and respected the old man. He had established quite a business over the years and took really good care of Lightning. Never mind the fact that it was Roy who saved Davie Murphy from further harm by the pedophile.

  “I wanted to talk to you about my niece.”

  Johnny instantly felt the tightness in his chest. He wanted to talk to Roy about Julianna as well, but after he took his ride.

  Leading the mare through the stables and outside, Johnny paused by the door.

  He locked gazes with Roy.

  “I know she’s not your niece and that she’s Ellie’s. What I don’t know is why you all would be lying about it. I’m a bit taken aback by that, Roy.”

  Roy began to stutter as he placed his hands in his pockets. Johnny knew he had established quite the reputation around Claire County, and his mean streak helped to minimize anyone questioning him about his job or his personal life.

  He preferred it that way.

  Roy cleared his throat and stuck his chin out, apparently ready for a challenge. This surprised Johnny, but he didn’t show it.

  “She has her reasons, Sheriff. She hasn’t done anything wrong to warrant your professional attention.”

  “I’m just doing my job. You know how I like to keep things peaceful around here. There’s really nothing to talk about right now.”

  Johnny jumped up into the saddle, grabbed the reins, and headed towards the open range.

  * * * *

  He felt kind of guilty letting his bad mood get the best of him and treating Roy with such disrespect, but he just wanted to be alone and get some quiet time on Lightning. Since returning from the war, it was therapeutic for him, and the ride was overdue.

  Johnny couldn’t help but think about Julianna as he rode away from the horse stables. From the moment he caught her staring at him near the traffic light, she remained on his mind. It appeared his curiosity had gotten the best of him. The deep mocha color of her eyes revealed what could only be described as fear and sadness. A striking-looking woman, a good ten years younger than he, should not look so sad.

  Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have given the city girl a second glance.

  He wanted to talk to her and appear friendlier, but she acted guilty. His gut and stubborn investigative mind forced him to watch her and find out what she was up to.

  He denied any personal attraction or need to learn more. He didn’t want or need a companion, and sex he could get anytime he wanted.

  The fact that other men in town were taking notice of Julianna had Johnny feeling a bit on the defensive. Then, when he saw Colter and Zack approach her in town, he wanted to warn her about the two troublemakers. Zack and Colter were known to overdrink, overparty, and shack up with every willing gal around these parts. They appeared to have radar for the unknowing city girls and vacationers who frequented Claire County. Last Johnny heard, the men had a tally going of who could nail the most women who visited.

  He would be sure to warn them to stay clear of Julianna the second he had the opportunity.

  He cringed at the thought. Who the hell was he to warn men away from Julianna? He should just mind his business. After all, perhaps Miss Julianna was into men like that. He shook his head. He just couldn’t believe such a thing.

  Why he even cared, he didn’t know, but his gut told him to keep a close eye on her.

  He didn’t want to seem too friendly in case she was up to no good, so he played his sheriff role to the fullest. Especially about her truck being parked illegally. He chuckled to himself. He had her shaking in her little white sneakers until their hands touched.

  It was difficult to maintain his professionalism, and his tactics of intimidation nearly backfired on him at that very moment. He knew he made her nervous. He stood so close to her he could smell her perfume and the shampoo she used on her hair. Then when she nailed him with the door…He snickered to himself. She was a jittery little thing. He thought it was cute that she was so nervous around him. He sure as hell wasn’t expecting such an attraction when their hands touched.

  The sensation was amazing. There was a connection, a spark. It came as a complete shock to him. No one had ever caused such a feeling.

  Just thinking about it made him feel uptight. That wasn’t like him to have a response towards another human being—his heart and his soul had been dead for many years now. No relationships, no commitments, no woman he felt he could desire or be desired by.

  The realization hit him as he tilted his face up towards the wind.

  Between the rodeo circuit and his two tours in the war, Johnny had lost himself. It took the past year and a half to rebuild a decent relationship with his father. That had been a hell of an ordeal, and it would have suited Johnny just fine to keep to himself and not have to “feel” anything. But Lou Black was as stubborn as a mule. His father, the persistent son of a bitch, wouldn’t let up. He had harassed him to no end. Johnny hated to admit it, but his father still had the parental ability to get under his skin even now that he was a grown man in his late thirties. Johnny shook his head side to side and smirked at the memories. The way his dad would show up at the Sheriff’s Department or at his cabin outside of town on his days off. At first it downright pissed Johnny off. But the old man wouldn’t budge. Johnny recalled telling him off a few times, even threatening him with his shotgun. Johnny laughed. Not that he would actually shoot his old man. It did, however, piss him off that he could tell Lou Black to go to hell, and yet the old man would plop himself down on one of the old rockers on the front porch and stay there. Once Johnny settled his temper down, he’d stroll out with two ice-cold beers, handing one to his dad before taking a seat in the rocker beside him. He was thankful his dad didn’t seek out information about Johnny’s experience in the war or his lack of interest in socializing with the townsfolk he protected. He left well enough alone.

  Johnny sighed. Give the man an inch and he takes a mile. Now the old man had it in his head that he wanted a daughter-in-law and grandchildren. “Shit!”

  He picked up the pace as he traveled across the land thinking about his life. That was something he tended not to ponder over.

  He enjoyed being a deputy for a few years. He was comfortable carrying a gun, upholding the law. As a soldier, he defended the country. Being the sheriff and protecting Claire Cou
nty seemed just right. He applied for the position more out of family tradition than anything else. His dad had been a sheriff in the adjacent county, so it seemed like the best choice in his profession.

  Since taking on the job, he cracked down on the troublemakers, hired three deputies to uphold the law, and helped Claire County to maintain its reputation as a wholesome hometown despite the onset of commercial development. A man should be proud to have such accomplishments, but he just looked at those accomplishments as priorities of the job.

  Johnny looked out across the fields in the distance and he could see another rider. He noticed the horse was tied to a large section of trees. The person appeared to be staring at something in the cluster of trees.

  As he made his way closer, he could tell it was a woman. Blue jeans clung to a perfectly round backside, and as she knelt down lower to the ground, a gust of wind blew, taking her hat along with it.

  She never took her eyes off the scene in the bushes as her long brown hair descended from her shoulders, practically landing near her waist.

  In an instant, he knew it was Julianna.

  His breath caught at the sight, and his heart pounded in his chest. She was stunning, there was no denying that. He took a deep breath, and he approached with caution, unsure what had gained her complete attention and knowing exactly what gained his own.

  It was amazing how instantly his body reacted to seeing her. He felt his breathing grow rapid, his heart raced, and his pants felt a size smaller in the crotch.

  Taking as deep of a breath as he could muster, he approached with caution.

  Johnny quietly got down from his horse a good twenty feet behind her. She never glanced back or seemed to hear his approach.

  His curiosity had gotten the best of him, and as he looked towards the bushes, he could see what was so mesmerizing that the woman hadn’t acknowledged him.

  A beautiful family of deer stood grazing. It appeared to be the mother and her three fawns.

  * * * *

  Julianna watched the scene before her as flashbacks from the attack entered her mind.

  “Where are you?”

  “I’m so sorry, Lawrence, I swear, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes tops. I got caught up at the meeting and had to drop the papers off downtown. I’m making my way back to the parking lot. I swear I didn’t plan this.”

  Julianna held the phone against her ear with her shoulder, trying to calm her breathing despite the fact that she was sprinting down the stairs to the ground floor and parking garage. Clenching her fingers tighter against the yellow manila folder she prayed she wouldn’t drop, she held the heavy briefcase with her other hand as she stumbled over one step before barely making the next step. The sharp, echoing sound of her heels clashing with the concrete indicated her determination to move quickly.

  “Damn it, Julianna, I told you this dinner meeting was important! When you told me about this meeting last night, I had warned you. Why is it that you just can’t seem to obey my orders?” His tone was intimidating to say the least, and she could just see his crinkled eyebrows and stern expression. She would pay for this later.

  Obey your orders? You’re driving me crazy. I have a career, and I’m usually out of work and back home before you’re even close to getting home for the night. Do I carry on when you call last minute to say you have a late meeting?

  In her mind Julianna played out the argument she didn’t have enough courage to start with Lawrence. Frustrated, she released a sigh, and he reprimanded her for it. Caught off guard by the raised voice, she nearly missed the last step before the final stairwell.

  “I thought you left there twenty minutes ago when I first called you.”

  Actually that was the second time you called me.

  “I’m leaving now. I will be there, don’t worry.”

  “What are you wearing? I know I said casual dinner, but are you wearing something low-cut. Classy?”

  She nibbled her bottom lip, and Julianna glanced down at her black button-down sweater. Thank God she remembered to wear the low-cut lace camisole underneath. Just the right amount of cleavage showed off her size thirty-six Cs. If her mother could see her now, she would surely wonder where her well-reserved fifteen-year-old daughter had disappeared. God rest her mother’s soul, and God help her with Lawrence. Never did she once think her future husband, the man she would spend eternity with, would be so vain.

  “I love your breasts, so do my clients. It’s not often a woman has both brains and beauty, my dear. You will wear what I buy you and that is final. This is not some hillbilly Texas town in the middle of farmland. This is New York City. Grow up!”

  Swallowing hard, she recalled Lawrence’s demands and released an uneasy breath.

  With the black, fitted dress pants, she would pull off classy yet sexy.

  “Are you there?”

  “Yes, I’m still here. Don’t worry, you’ll love what I’m wearing.”

  “I doubt that I will love it and I hope it was appropriate for work.”

  Damn it! How does he do that? Twist my words around in an instant?

  “I’m wearing a sweater and—”

  “I don’t want to hear it. We’ll discuss it later. Where are you now?”

  “The staircase, one more flight and I’ll be in the parking garage.”

  “Get here!”

  Click.

  The dial tone instantly echoed in her ear.

  She closed the phone and nearly dropped the bulky file. She pushed against the solid metal door with the briefcase but it didn’t budge. The door was fully closed, and she didn’t have a third hand to open it with. Placing the briefcase down on the concrete flooring, she reached for the handle to open the last door before the entrance to the parking garage.

  Julianna tried to refocus on where she was. She looked at the deer again, tried to bring her mind back to the present, but the memories were too powerful to ignore.

  In an instant, the large, muscular arm was around her neck. Dazed for a moment, she still held the meaningless items in her hands then attempted to pull away.

  It was no use, her attacker was too strong.

  With purpose and efficiency, the sharp object penetrated her stomach, and her body slammed against the metal door. The forcefulness of his hand grabbing her head caused Julianna to scream out in pain and agony.

  In an attempt to fight back, Julianna struggled to free her arms. The pain in her side sent her body into a hunched position. Julianna swung her hand behind her. She had to defend herself. He released his hold and she retaliated, scratching his face, pawing at whatever she could to alter his continued attack.

  “Bitch!”

  He slammed her face against the metal door again, and he used his body to push her harder before stabbing her in the side a second time.

  Eyes wide and in panic, she screamed out over and over, “Help! Help…Help!”

  The surprise backhand to her cheek sent her body off balance, causing her to hit the metal door. The instant her body bounced off the cold, hard metal, her attacker grasped her head, slamming it repeatedly into the door again and again. She was losing focus, conceding to the pain, and she closed her eyes and cried out in terror. The bash to the back of the head was the last strike before her attacker left her for dead.

  Then she fell to the ground. She held her side, praying that someone heard her, that someone was coming.

  Head throbbing with pain, she reached up, barely absorbing the fact that a pool of blood was forming on the concrete flooring around her. Her thoughts were frazzled as she reached up to wipe the perspiration from her brow. Julianna placed her hands back onto her lap, and she noticed they were covered in blood. The realization was overwhelming. Then came the recognition of what just took place.

  Glancing down at the bloody gash, her head felt heavy, her stomach nauseous.

  “The baby…Oh my God…my baby.”

  Julianna stumbled to the ground as the flashbacks finally stopped.

  * * * *<
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  “Guess you don’t see much deer in New York City,” the sheriff stated rather loudly, not even considering his words or the volume of his tone.

  Julianna swung her head around towards him and lost her balance, landing on her backside in the grass.

  Her eyes were red and swollen, tears clung against her rosy cheeks, and a look of fear and shock filled her expression.

  Their attention was drawn to the sound of cracking twigs as the deer made an escape to safety.

  He quickly moved towards her to offer assistance, but she had already gotten up and began brushing off her backside.

  Her hand went to her face as she used her sleeve to wipe away any evidence of the tears.

  Of course it was too late.

  Before he could apologize for invading her privacy, she was heading towards her horse.

  In an instant, he was taking the reins to stop her.

  * * * *

  Julianna’s heart was beating triple time. She never heard the other rider approach, never mind that it was that damn sheriff again. She was embarrassed that he caught her crying, and she was angry that she allowed such a beautiful scene like the family of deer upset her so much.

  It had been a long time since she had seen nature in its finest form. The spiral of mixed emotions attacked all her senses. She couldn’t help but think about the baby, nor the fact that she would have been a mom. After the attack and emergency surgeries, the doctors weren’t confident that she could get pregnant again. Thoughts of fertility drugs, procedures, and even adoption flew through her mind, sending daggers of pain and regret to her gut.