by Laura Marie
Julianna covered her mouth, and she gasped in shock.
Her first thought was embarrassment. What underwear was I wearing? Did I apply that extra deodorant?
Then she wondered if he liked what he saw. Her cheeks felt flush at the thought until the pessimistic Julianna straightened her head on tight.
If he saw me naked, then he saw the scar.
Her heart ached something terrible, and thoughts of Lawrence filled her mind.
The bastard would always be able to hurt her. There would never be an end to him.
The tears emerged, the life lessons, the betrayal, and the reality of what selfish, powerful men like Lawrence wanted and expected. How could a man as enticing as the sheriff, who could get any woman he wanted, be interested in a scarred, timid thing like her?
The sheriff had his reasons for being nice to me. He felt sorry for me, probably was disgusted at the sight. My youthful body scarred forever because of Lawrence.
Quickly she got out of the tub and dried off. She grabbed the rim of the tub to maintain her balance as her head began to throb. Perhaps she had gotten up too quickly, or maybe the sheriff’s concern that she had a slight concussion wasn’t so far-fetched.
She felt betrayed, hurt, and sad inside just thinking what possible motives the sheriff had.
Perhaps he just wanted to be the first male resident of Claire County to nail the new chick. No longer the naïve country girl, Julianna dissected the sheriff’s actions. Was there really a need for him to stand guard and time the meter in town where she parked? Was it necessary to follow her on the road while she skied because, supposedly, some men in town were planning on following her in their truck?
Did he come looking for her simply because it’s his job and he wanted to play hero to get her into bed quicker?
The disappointed feeling shocked her as the embarrassment set in deeper.
The tears flowed at the thought.
Why was she feeling so hurt? It wasn’t like she liked the sheriff.
He was mean, bossy, handsome, sexy, intoxicating, and, Stop it!
She needed to get dressed. She fought a war in her mind comparing Lawrence to the sheriff, along with her inability to trust anyone or believe that she could have her fantasy man.
The nauseous feeling overwhelmed her, and she bent over from the pain she felt.
Her head throbbed, her eyes couldn’t focus, and suddenly she felt overheated and ready to faint.
Perhaps the water was too warm and she stayed in too long.
She pulled the clean boxer shorts on then grabbed the T-shirt.
She felt dizzy and weak. She thought about the scar and the fact that the sheriff had seen it. What a dreadful feeling. She had wanted to hide it from everyone and now he, of all people, saw the scar? Her head throbbed as she curled up into the fetal position on the floor as the room spun and the candlelight blurred. Julianna was unable to pull on the T-shirt. Instead she held it against her chest as the flashbacks overcame her.
Eyes closed, she saw herself standing on the staircase, heading down the two flights because the elevator on her floor was broken, and Julianna remembered the attack.
Her stomach was growling. She was supposed to meet Lawrence at the restaurant twenty minutes earlier, but she had been stuck at work. He called five minutes before she walked out of the office to ask if she was on her way. The nervous feeling filled her belly. She was hungry, and she knew why. The baby was growing, and soon she would be showing more. She had to tell Lawrence. She saw herself as she nibbled her bottom lip. She never heard the stranger’s approach.
Julianna tried to stop the flashbacks as she covered her face to the ground and pulled her legs tighter against her chest. It was no use. She shuddered at each strike.
The attack was fierce and quick. She never had the chance to defend herself, to protect the baby. The painful sensation of the strike, the deep gash into her side had her moaning in pain and agony.
Next thing she heard were sirens blaring and the sight of blood gushing from her stomach and side before passing out.
The flashbacks continued as she cried.
They appeared never ending, her sobs deep and painful to her own ears. Despite the ache in her head, the images, sounds, and sights of the hospital room entered her thoughts.
“You lost the baby.” The emergency room doctor’s voice echoed in her head.
Flashes of nausea and darkness consumed her before Lawrence’s face appeared in her mind.
“You poor thing. I wish you would have told me about the baby.”
“I was going to,” she whimpered, afraid of his reaction, his response. She closed her eyes tightly. She waited for the hit, expecting either verbal or physical but getting nothing. No longer a secret now that Lawrence knew about the baby, but it was too late…The baby was dead.
He leaned closer to her where only she could hear him. She slowly glanced to the side, and Julianna could see the nurses stayed in the other room behind the glass.
His expression was sincere then stern as her nostrils filled with his expensive cologne.
Each breath penetrated against her ear to her soul. “I told you that I don’t want children. You’ll go on the pill immediately. Understood?” He held her face in his hands, making sure she looked into his eyes.
The evilness, the dark, vengeful look he gave told her he was responsible for the attack. Later, he admitted to it and warned her to never cross him again.
Julianna held herself. She lay sobbing, the pain in her side as real as the day her baby was murdered. How did things go so wrong? How could she have thought she was in love with such an evil man?
* * * *
Johnny knocked on the bathroom door several times after calling Julianna’s name. She had been inside a long time, and he was concerned when she didn’t answer.
He banged two more times. There was no response, so he turned the knob to enter. She had locked the door. He panicked a moment then remembered the extra key as he reached above the doorframe. He found the extra key and unlocked the lock. Before he entered, he called to her one last time. No answer.
Pushing the door open slowly, he stopped midway.
The sight tore at his heart.
Julianna lay on the rug in the bathroom curled up like a child. Tears covered her cheeks as she clenched a T-shirt to her chest.
He hurried toward her.
“Julianna,” he whispered, taking a few steps, not wanting to scare her.
She didn’t move, and the worry consumed him.
A second later he was kneeling on the floor next to her.
“Julianna, talk to me, darlin’. Are you okay?”
She slowly opened her eyes. They were red and swollen, and her lips quivered. The beaten down look in her eyes caused his heart to clench. He knew that look. Had personally experienced such defeat. Her fragility made him wonder if he could find enough gentleness inside him to care for her. He was always so rugged, rough around the edges and within. Yet, he could sense something nagging at his insides. Swallowing hard, as if removing the insecurities he felt, he reached for her.
“Go away,” she whispered, squeezing her eyelids tight as if his touch was poison to her.
He took a deep breath, hoping to destroy the urge to pull her up into his arms and demand she listen to him and obey the direct order. The thought and the fact that he nearly did just that scared him.
Julianna was a special woman—petite, fragile, and in need of a man who could love her, keep her safe, and destroy the fear he knew she held onto. Johnny wanted to be that man for her, yet he knew no other way but by force, by demands, orders, and control.
He was a soldier, and when a direct order was given, you do it. No questions asked.
Julianna’s sobs grew deeper, and instead of thinking things out, analyzing his personality and faults, he focused on Jules and her needs.
“What is it, Julianna? Talk to me,” he whispered back.
He watched her head move over the
small rug as she looked up toward him.
Her expression was spent, exhausted, and sad, and he memorized it, making a silent pact to never let her feel so destroyed again.
“What do you want from me, Sheriff? What are you after?”
He remained silent a moment. He had been doing everything he knew to console her, to make her feel safe, but she still fought trusting him. She was scared, that’s all, and he needed to convince her she would be safe with him. He’d worry about convincing himself later.
“Let me help you get back into bed.”
He attempted to lift her up and she sat up, still holding the shirt against her chest and leaning her palm back to support herself.
“What. Are. You. After?” she asked more firmly. Johnny could see the sadness and pain all too well in her eyes.
He took in the full sight of her. She wore his black boxers, a new pair from the package that he hoped wouldn’t fall right off her. Bunched up on her lap, the elastic lay softly against her hips but sagged in the back. Her long, pink manicured nails clenched the new, bright white undershirt to her breasts. He could see the large, round shape of their edge, barely peeking out near the sides. There was no doubt that Julianna was voluptuous and shapely in places a goddess should be.
Their gazes locked, and he sucked in a breath, smelling her scent when the silence fell between them.
Cautiously, he gave an answer to her question, his Southern accent thick and raspy even to his own ears.
“Ain’t after nuttin’.”
Laying his palm against her cheek, she turned only slightly away.
He was kneeling in front of her now, and he could feel the jean material on his knees absorbing the water that lay on the rug.
“Look at me. Look at me, Jules,” he stated, inching closer, his other hand touching her face. She appeared childlike in her demeanor, yet every part of his male anatomy told him she was no child.
Holding her face in his large hands, she had no choice but to look into his eyes.
With gazes locked, he could hear her quick, nervous breaths, her heart racing in sync with his own. The sound seemed to pound against the walls of the bathroom.
“You can trust me. I know you’re scared”
She attempted to pull away, placed her legs under her body to kneel in an upward position, but he wouldn’t let her as he released one hand and wrapped his arm around her waist then placed his hand on her shoulder and neck empathetically.
“I want you to see it in my eyes, darlin’. I want you to see that I care. That I…”
Her eyes widened in only what he could describe as disbelief.
She closed her eyes, and a tear escaped and traveled down her cheek to her neck.
He didn’t know what to do, what to say, to make her believe him.
Her lips quivered, her body shook, and he pulled her tighter against him.
The heat of her body so close and the feel of her skin against the palm of his hand were too much for him. The need to taste her full lips, to wipe the quivers and fear away, was overwhelming. He shifted his head down lower, and he gently brushed his lips against Julianna’s forehead. When she didn’t pull away, he lightly kissed her eyes, where the tears flowed, and then her cheek as she opened her eyes, her head rolling back, giving him better access to the lips he craved.
In that instant, he found her lips and kissed her fully and deeply as he continued to hold her close.
The moan was simultaneous and quickly absorbed between their mouths. He reached his hand behind her head, wanting better access, but he sensed her pulling away, and his heart felt like it sank to his gut. He fought the urge to kiss her again. He allowed her some room. An instant later, soft, delicate fingers brushed against his chin then the palm of her hand lay softly against his cheek. He caught the flicker of emotion in her eyes. He slowly turned toward her hand, carefully kissing her skin. He did so with gentleness he couldn’t explain nor comprehend and take credit for.
Johnny heard her intake of breath, felt his own heart race and fill with an excitement he couldn’t define. He leaned closer, softly kissed her lips, moved his arms around her waist, and held her close. Sensing Julianna’s hand still against his cheek, he absorbed her femininity. Then suddenly she moved away from him, grasping the shirt against her chest. Releasing her lips, their gazes locked once again. Her eyes took on a different look. It was a look of passion and need. Then, as if realizing her indiscretions, she tensed up.
He glanced down at the material she held in a death grip, and he absorbed the valley peeking out beneath the shirt. He smiled at her shyness and reservations, Johnny used the opportunity to convince her she was safe with him by kissing her again. Her willing response ignited a fire within him as he trailed tiny kisses from her lips to her neck then shoulder.
Laying her head against his chest, she allowed him to hold her.
Not celebrating the small triumph, he effortlessly lifted her delicate body up into his arms, carrying her back to bed.
Her face pressed against his chest, the warmth of her womanly body felt right in his arms, and he wanted every part of her.
With one hand, he pulled back the covers before he placed her body down on the bed. As Johnny began to release her, he felt the tightened grip. She didn’t seem to want him to go.
“Want me to stay with you?” he whispered, and Julianna blinked her eyes and nodded her head.
Slowly, he got into the bed with her, maneuvered their bodies so he could hold her against his chest. Their breathing collided, their breaths released together, as their bodies sunk deeper into the mattress.
Being careful to take slow steps with Julianna, Johnny caressed her naked back, her ribs, and the elastic waist of the boxer shorts. The smooth texture and the scent of her soapy skin aroused his senses. The crotch of his jeans was so tight, he thought he might burst. Every part of him accepted that Julianna felt perfect in his arms. She smelled edible. He never wanted a woman more.
His heart continued to race along with a deep need to get as close as humanly possible to this amazing woman he held in his arms. The emotion was overwhelming. He hardly knew her, yet he felt that she belonged to him. That they were meant to find one another and be one.
The sensation he felt as the palm of her hand lay flat against his chest seemed to singe against his skin, so much that he could feel the tiny droplets of perspiration near his hairline. He took in every detail, from her long fingernails attached to delicate, thin fingers and the way they felt against his skin. All the way to her slender yet toned arms, the muscles distinguished to her shoulders. The thought of her cross-country skiing crossed his mind. She was in great physical condition, and his fantasy about seeing her unclothed had become a reality. He was so into his medic mode, he barely had the opportunity to let eyes linger, never mind his hands. Besides, he knew it wasn’t right. When the time was right, he wanted Julianna to be the one to reveal herself, to show all because she wanted to.
He glanced down over her body, and he wondered if she wanted him as well. He observed so much. From scent to distinguishing curves, he was never this in tune to a woman.
Johnny loved the feel of her soft, supple skin, and the fact that her plump, aroused breasts lay pressed against him was driving him wild with want.
He wanted more, and when he felt her snuggle closer, he cupped her chin and cheek in his hand. He felt triumphant.
Their gazes locked again as he brought her mouth closer to his own.
He kissed her tenderly at first, then with desire for more of her. Slipping his tongue into her more deeply felt like heaven. He pulled in and out slowly and methodically while Julianna responded willingly, running her hands though his hair, caressing his neck and shoulder while inching closer to his mouth.
He rolled her over onto her back, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her legs to him, wrapping them around his waist. Carefully, he used his forearms to support him so he wouldn’t crush her beneath him. Her womanly body was tiny
compared to his size and weight.
He sighed contentedly, hugging her close, wanting to make love to her and wondering if the time was right.
* * * *
Julianna couldn’t believe what was happening. One moment she was condemning him, accusing him of ulterior motives, and now she was straddling his hips, wanting to offer everything to him. A complete stranger.
She could feel the large bulge in his jeans, the hardness against the thin material of the boxer shorts, and every feminine part was fully aware of this man and filled with the desire to have him. The solidity of his frame, the smell of his cologne, and the feel of rippling muscles sent her into an unfamiliar state.
His lips were warm against her neck, his kisses sweet and tender. He lifted his hips slightly then pulled the T-shirt material from between them. She shyly glanced away from his eyes, the dark, mysterious gray that mesmerized her since she laid eyes on him.
She heard him suck in a deep breath. “Look at me, Jules,” he whispered.
“Sheriff,” she responded, eyes open, voice shaking. His hand caressed her breast and she moaned aloud, to his obvious enjoyment.
“I love the sound of you callin’ me sheriff, darlin’…but the name’s Johnny,” he teased then kissed her lips again more deeply.
Johnny. Oh, Johnny.
With each squeeze, caress, and kiss, he was knocking down every layer of wall she worked so hard to build up.
Then it hit her. She didn’t even know his name was Johnny. They never even had a proper introduction, just him being called sheriff by everyone. How could she let him make love to her? Well, not make love. He didn’t love her.
She was scared, and she was making a mistake. No one could ever love her like this for real.
* * * *
Johnny felt the wetness against his lips. He looked into Julianna’s eyes.
“Why are ya cryin’?”
“I can’t.”
He rolled over onto his side, pulled her close against him, wrapped her leg between his own, then pulled the blankets over them.
“We don’t have ta do anything ya don’t want to. When you’re ready, darlin’. When you’re ready,” he whispered.