Marie, Laura - Miss: Never Gonna Love Again [The Miss: Series] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

by Laura Marie

  “Those stupid sons of bitches!”

  Julianna could tell the telephone conversation wasn’t delivering pleasant news.

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  Johnny slammed the phone down on the hook and headed towards the kitchen door.

  Right before he exited the kitchen, he turned back towards Julianna.

  “Wrap those sandwiches up, honey. I’ve got to drop you home and head into town.”

  Julianna stood frozen in place as the sheriff left the room with no other comment or information.

  She threw the sandwiches into some plastic bags while she tried very hard not to let the tears fall.

  “You’re a damn fool and no matter how many times you get burnt, you fall for the jerks anyway.”

  Frustrated and angry, she cleaned up then hurried to get her boots and coat on.

  * * * *

  “I’m sorry about this, Julianna, but it’s my job and I need to get back to work. It seems that a few rowdy cowboys are causing a ruckus at Ed’s place. They’ve been bunkered down there since the onset of the storm.”

  Julianna remained silent as the sheriff maneuvered his large truck through the snowy roadways.

  Twenty minutes later, she was at the main gates to Palmer Place.

  “I’ll call you later, doll.”

  Julianna hurried out the side door.

  She headed towards her small cabin, hearing the sounds of the truck engine roar through the snow and back onto the main roadway. The tears flowed freely and froze to her cheeks before they could escape to the snow below.

  She unlocked her door, and she entered, tossing her coat onto the rack then untying her boots. The cabin was cold, She needed to start a fire and get the heat turned up.

  Silence consumed her surroundings and loneliness penetrated her heart.

  “Alone again,” she stated aloud, wiping the tears with her shirtsleeve and pushing herself to take the time to make the fire.

  As she transferred the firewood to the hearth, the sound of the telephone made her jump.

  She debated about answering it then reached for the cordless phone by the side table in the living room. She reluctantly answered.

  “Oh, thank god you’re back home. I was so worried about you.” The sound of Aunt Ellie’s voice made Julianna smile.

  I’m not completely alone.

  “Hi, Aunt Ellie. I’m fine.”

  “I was worried and needed to hear your voice. When I heard the sheriff’s truck pull up by the gates, I was hoping he would drop you home. How come he didn’t stay and walk you up here?”

  “Some trouble in town with Ed’s bar and rowdy cowboys.” Julianna answered as she continued to add wood to the fire then light the kindling.

  “It was probably the regular troublemakers. I swear, when it snows like this, all them boys do is drink, drink, drink. Then the sheriff has to come and help the deputies haul their butts to jail until they sober up. Oh, wait a minute. It’s a party for the sheriff.”

  Julianna was confused. That’s not what Johnny made it sound like.

  “Listen to me go on? I suppose you’ve learned your lesson about Texas snowstorms? Thank goodness the sheriff was able to get to you.”

  “Now, Aunt Ellie, it wasn’t my fault. The tire blew out, and then the engine went.”

  “You shouldn’t have been out there alone to begin with. Forget that now. I need to see you and hold you in my arms. I will be down in five minutes.”

  “Wait, Aunt Ellie, I want to know about this party,” Julianna attempted to protest, but she heard the click and knew her aunt hung up the phone.

  * * * *

  Johnny headed into town and wasn’t surprised to see the three deputies’ cars outside of Ed’s place, along with a bunch of other vehicles. He parked the truck and got out, placing his Stetson on his head before locking the truck.

  He made his way to the entrance, and then he opened the door.

  “Surprise!” The whole place screamed out at once, nearly making him hop out of his skin.

  The realization hit him simultaneously.

  He squinted his eyes as his father approached along with the other deputies. He took in his surroundings as the birthday decorations finally came into sight and the good wishes welcomed each hug or handshake.

  He had completely forgotten about the surprise party. The surprise party he wasn’t supposed to know about but was silently informed about a few weeks ago.

  Thank God his deputies told him, but it didn’t seem to matter. He was so caught up with Julianna that he plumb forgot.

  His father pulled him into an embrace.

  “Hey, where’s that pretty little city gal you rescued from the blizzard?”

  “City girl?” Johnny asked just as the front door opened again and Roy Palmer stepped in.

  “Hey, Roy, I was just asking about your niece. Seems my son’s been keeping her all to himself the past two days. Heard she nearly died.”

  Roy approached Johnny as he shook his father’s hand then Johnny’s.

  “I want to thank you for saving Julianna’s life, Sheriff. The way you rescued her and got her to safety. Thank god you know first aid and she didn’t need a hospital. Ellie and I have been so worried.”

  “No need to thank me, Roy. I’m glad I found her. It could have been worse.”

  “I guess she didn’t come along because she’s still recovering. I want to meet this niece of yours, Roy.”

  “We’ll be meeting with the board in a few days unless Julianna needs more rest.”

  “Oh yes, that’s right. I heard she’s got some big ideas. Some things to help out the locals, right?” Johnny’s father asked.

  “My niece is very smart. She’ll present the information to the board and I’m sure they’ll be pleased.”

  Johnny listened to the two men talk about Jules until some more friends approached.

  * * * *

  Manhattan, New York

  “Damn it, Kate! How the hell can you still be sore? You got those things a week ago,” Lawrence yelled as Kate shuddered, pulling her blouse against her chest.

  He ran his hand through his hair, could feel his blood pressure rising as he took a long look at Kate.

  She was skinny. Too damn skinny for his liking. She wore too much makeup and kissed his ass so much there had to be a tattoo of her lips on the cheek.

  “Lawrence…please, baby, don’t be mad.”

  He heard the quivering in her voice. The fear she should have in denying her man his needs. Her man? Not her man. Julianna’s, Always Julianna’s.

  “The doctor said I could be sore for a few weeks…”

  “A few weeks! I’ve got needs, Kate, and if you can’t satisfy those needs, I’ll be looking elsewhere.” He was so angry he felt about to burst.

  Then he felt Kate grab his arm. He turned on her so quickly, tossing her across the bed.

  He pointed his finger in rage. “Don’t you ever grab my arm to stop me.”

  “Why are you acting this way? I did this for you,” she cried, dropping the blouse and revealing her swollen breasts.

  “I didn’t ask for you to get breast implants. I like natural beauty. Get yourself cleaned up. Try removing some of that crap on your face. I can’t be seen with some two-bit whore.”

  He began walking away. He was in need of a drink and the wet bar stood across the bedroom.

  “I’m not Julianna, Lawrence! She’s long gone!” Kate screamed as she hurried off the bed and began buttoning her blouse.

  Lawrence was in her face a half a second after the last syllable left her lips. He shook her by her shoulders, squeezing her arms as hard as he could. “Damn straight you’re not Julianna. No one can compare to her. No one!”

  She wiggled herself free from his grasp. The tears flowed from her eyes.

  “If she was so perfect, then why did you kill the baby?”

  Lawrence cracked Kate across the mouth, and before she could fall to the floor from the hit, he pul
led her up by her hair and dragged her across the room.

  “Are you threatening me, Kate? Do you dare accuse me of killing my own flesh and blood?”

  Kate held her hands up in front of her face as Lawrence repeatedly hit her.

  “Please! Please stop!”

  He shoved her to the ground and kicked her as if she were a mere piece of garbage.

  “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. Understand?”

  “Yes, Lawrence, I’m sorry,” Kate cried.

  There was blood all over her blouse, on the rug. No amount of makeup was going to cover the damage.

  “Go get cleaned up and get into bed. I’ve got a dinner meeting to go to and you’re not coming.”

  He slammed the door and left Kate lying on the floor crying.

  * * * *

  Aunt Ellie hugged the breath out of Julianna. Then she examined her head and the large bruise and cut near her temple.

  “Thank god the sheriff found you.”

  The sound of the tea kettle whistling sent Julianna into the kitchen to prepare two cups of tea. Aunt Ellie pulled off her coat and placed the tin of cookies on the table.

  “I made your favorite sugar cookies.”

  “Thanks.” Julianna brought the cups to the table. Stirring a little bit of honey in, Julianna was lost in thought about Johnny and the party in town. Did someone make up the story to get him there? If they did, then he had no other choice but to leave. But if there was a party and he knew about it, why not tell her?

  Did he not want her to attend? Was it his way of backing off and saying their two incredible days together was meaningless and over?

  She felt hurt and foolish.

  “Julianna, do you want to talk about it?”

  Julianna locked gazes with her aunt.

  “Where’s Uncle Roy?”

  Aunt Ellie took a sip of hot tea.

  “He went to Sheriff Black’s party.”

  “He knew about it?”

  “Most of the men will be there. The sheriff knew about it as well.”

  Julianna nearly choked on her tea.

  “He knew it was today?”

  “Sure did. Roy said the sheriff knew about it weeks ago.”

  The tears stung Julianna’s eyes and threatened to escape.

  Why hadn’t he told her? Why wouldn’t he want her to know, and why make up the story about the rowdy cowboys?

  Julianna jumped as she felt her aunt’s hand cover her own.

  “Julianna, what is it?”

  “Nothing, Aunt Ellie, I’m sorry.”

  Julianna stood up from the table.

  “Let’s sit by the fire.”

  Aunt Ellie followed and took a seat on the sofa near her niece.

  Julianna stared at the glowing flames in the hearth.

  Her mind remained on the sheriff, their lovemaking and his abrupt dismissal of her. He was quite the actor, and she was still quite the little fool.

  “What is it, Julianna? Talk to me.”

  Julianna stared at her lap before she spoke.

  “I’m just tired.”

  “Do I look like I was born yesterday, girl? Spit it out! What happened between you and the sheriff?”

  Julianna looked up from her lap, straight into her aunt’s eyes.

  Before she could get the denial out of her mouth, her aunt interrupted.

  “Don’t even try it. You look sad, yet satisfied. Has he done something to hurt you?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  Her aunt was silent a moment as she seemed to stare straight through to Julianna’s soul.

  “Sometimes intense situations can make the hormones run amuck.”

  “Oh Lordy!” Julianna started to laugh.

  “Now, don’t be laughing at this old lady. I’ve seen the way the sheriff looks at you and the way you’re always trying so hard to not look at him. Now, I don’t expect details, but I do expect the truth.”

  Julianna was silent as the shock of her aunt’s brazenness was replaced by sadness and hurt.

  “I’m a fool, Auntie. I’m just a plain old fool.” The tears she tried so hard to hold in now flowed like a faucet.

  Her aunt took the tea cup from Julianna’s hand and placed it on the coffee table next to her own before pulling Julianna into an embrace.

  She held her close and petted her hair while Julianna sobbed.

  “Now, now, child. I won’t allow such nonsense. You are a beautiful, bright, young woman.”

  “No! I’m a damn fool who can’t learn from her mistakes.” Julianna quickly jumped up from the couch and paced in front of the fireplace.

  “Explain, Julianna.”

  Julianna stopped and stared at floor, embarrassed to tell her aunt about sleeping with Johnny.

  “You had nerve enough to do it, you damn well better have nerve enough to say it aloud.”

  “Aunt Ellie!”

  “Don’t Aunt Ellie me. You’ve got it bad for the sheriff, and if I’m any good at identifying attraction, I can tell you that he has it bad for you.”

  “Attraction or not, I made a mistake. I should have never…”

  “Slept with him?”

  Julianna was shocked by her aunt’s response.

  She nodded her head “yes.”

  “Damn, Jules! You’ve been wantin’ to and he’s been wantin’ to. Throw in a blizzard, him rescuing you, and being stuck in closed quarters for twenty-four hours, and what would anyone with a brain expect to happen? Was it really all that bad?” Sarcasm rang from her last words.

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Sure I do. I understand what took place, and you are both consenting adults. From the way you two have been acting around each other, it was bound to happen. What makes you say you’re a fool?”

  “He lied to me. He told me that there were rowdy cowboys at Ed’s when really he was headed into town for his party…without me.”

  “What did he have to say before you left his home?”

  “He got all silent and had a look in his eyes so expressionless and empty that it scared me.”

  Julianna hugged herself as she recalled those last moments.

  “The snow stopped falling. I pointed it out, and he looked at me different. I knew immediately that when the storm ended, everything between us ended. He used me, and I let him.”

  Ellie remained silent.

  “What’s done is done, and maybe you’ve misread his actions and him not telling you about the party?”

  “I’m a magnet for selfish bastards.”

  “Because of Lawrence?”

  Julianna cringed.

  She felt her aunt staring at her, waiting for her to tell more. Julianna just couldn’t get herself to begin. Right now her emotions were a combination of raw and numb. It was difficult to decipher.

  “You haven’t told me about New York or about Lawrence. Maybe if you did I could better understand why you feel the way you do. Although I am certain that Sheriff Johnny Black is nothing like this Lawrence you were engaged to.”

  Julianna remained silent, debating about finally telling her aunt everything about Lawrence. She should know what happened. She promised that she would tell her, and perhaps getting it off her chest might assist in the current situation. Her aunt would surely agree then that Julianna was indeed a fool.

  “I wouldn’t know where to start.” She nervously looked around the room, debating about busying herself with some meaningless activity to avoid revelation.

  “Start at the beginning. I’ve got all day.” She patted the cushion next to her for Julianna to sit.

  * * * *

  Julianna began to tell her aunt about first meeting Lawrence. Beginning with his appealing good looks, his financial success, his whole metrosexual, male attitude that had her desiring him from the start. He was everything she thought she ever wanted. Security, wealth, and influence after coming from such a hard childhood with financial and emotional heartache. Having shared her life story with him, her naïvet�
� blocked the fact that he used the information to control her and mold her into what he desired. His selfish ways were priority.

  “We lived together in an upscale penthouse suite in Manhattan. I had everything of monetary value that I thought that I dreamed would make me truly happy.”

  “That’s understandable, Jules. Your father left you nothing but bills and responsibility. It would be only natural for you to want a better life than what ya all had here.”

  “There’s no excuse for my foolishness. I guess sometimes one learns the hard way.”

  “I love you, Jules, and know that you can tell me anything.”

  Julianna wiped the tear from her eyes.

  “Remember my best friend and roommate in college? Remember Kate?” Julianna’s voice cracked at the mention of Kate’s name. She bowed her head and clasped her hands tighter.

  “You two became very close. You spent the holidays with her family.”

  Tears trickled down Julianna’s cheeks.

  “I wanted different things. I wanted a family.”

  “Julianna, you’re not making any sense. What does having a family have to do with Kate? With Lawrence?”

  “Lawrence didn’t want any children, Aunt Ellie. He made me go to the doctor, and I started taking contraceptives. He made it clear that I was to keep my body perfect and that having a child would ruin things. I had a purpose to serve, which included being his model girlfriend.”

  Julianna caught her aunt’s facial expression. Her eyebrows crinkled as the shock spread over her face.

  “What did he do?”

  Julianna nervously exhaled. “What didn’t he do?”

  The silence went on for a few moments, and Aunt Ellie didn’t interrupt. Instead, she gave Julianna time to gather her thoughts before continuing.

  “I was at his beck and call. It was a continuous fight just to stay working at the firm and not just remain home waiting for him and his damn orders. I wanted more, and deep down inside I believed that I could change Lawrence. If he loved me the way he said he did, then why wouldn’t he be happy about the baby?”

  Julianna felt her aunt cover her hands with her own.