Antiphon poi-3

by Ken Scholes

  My shaky legs start moving, carrying me across the room. I feel the tears start to slip down my cheeks, but there’s not a thing I can do about it. I can’t even begin to reconcile the emotions whirring through me. But as I reach him, it’s guilt that finds a voice. I can’t look him in the eye. “Oh my God. Matt, I’m sorry.”

  He wraps an arm around me and pulls me to his shoulder. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Frannie. You need to let it go.”

  “I can’t.” I look up at Gabe, whose eyes bore a hole through me. I can almost feel him rummaging around in my head, looking for the answers.

  “You have to, or there’s no point in my being here.” He shoots a glance at Luc.

  All my insides are Jell-O and my head feels full of cotton. I can’t think. But then a thought peeks through the fog. “Mom and Dad. Oh my God! They’re going to die when they see you!” My breath catches when I realize what I just said. “I mean. ”

  Matt pulls me to his shoulder again. “No, Frannie. They can’t know. Nobody can.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s just how it is. It’s strictly forbidden for us to show ourselves to anyone who knew us. Especially family.”

  I pull my face out of his shoulder. “I knew you.”

  He glances at Gabe. “An exception was made due to extenuating circumstances,” he says in this low, official-sounding voice.

  I look up and Gabe is shaking his head.

  I smile, but then I’m crying again. “So I killed you, but I’m the only one who gets you back? How is that fair?”

  “I have no clue what to say to get you to see it wasn’t your fault.”

  “But it was my fault.” I sob into his T-shirt, getting snot all over him. “I was there, remember? The one yanking on your leg and pulling you out of the tree?”

  “You know I can’t lie now, right? It wasn’t your fault. You have to believe that.”

  I start to feel really dizzy as my throat closes. I let go of him and drop my hands to my knees, trying to suck air into my collapsing lungs.

  “Get a nurse!” Luc says, and I hear him struggling with the IV stand.

  But then I smell summer snow and feel Gabe’s arms around me. “Frannie, breathe,” he says, his breath cool in my ear.

  I shudder and pull tighter into him.

  “Slow and easy,” he whispers.

  And I find he’s right. If I breathe slowly, I can get some air in. The stars dancing in front of my eyes start to fade.

  I straighten up and Gabe lets me go. I stare at Matt, wiping my nose on my sleeve. I can’t believe this. I’ve wanted him back so much, and here he is. I dive into his chest again and wrap my arms around him, determined to never let him go. “Oh my God.”

  He smiles. “It’s going to be okay, Frannie. Really.”

  His smile is contagious. I sniffle and smile back through my tears. “Why do you look seventeen-or how I thought you’d look at seventeen? How come you don’t still look seven?”

  His smile widens. “Camouflage. There’ll be times I need to be visible, and a seven-year-old following you around would look pretty stupid, don’t you think?”

  “I guess.”

  Luc clears his throat loudly. A goofy grin stretches my face as I pull Matt over to his bed. “So, Matt, this is Luc. Luc, Matt.”

  Luc’s brow creases, then his eyes spring wide. “It was you. at the graduation party, with Belias.”

  He looks at Luc without smiling. “That was my field test.”

  “I assume you passed?”

  Matt glares at him. “Of course.” He turns to me. “So, I won’t be around all the time,” his eyes narrow and shift to Luc briefly, “because there’s stuff you guys do that I really don’t want to see. But if you need me, I’ll be there.”

  Luc holds out a hand to Matt. “We’re happy for the backup.”

  He just looks at Luc’s hand, his expression bordering on repulsion.

  All of a sudden, the joy I felt is gone. I look between them, trying to understand what just happened, as Luc drops his hand.

  “Don’t try to be a hero, Lucifer,” Gabe says to break the awkward silence. He fixes Luc in a hard gaze. “If you need help, call for it.”

  Luc glowers at him. “Yes, mother.”

  He smiles. “Speaking of mothers, you have some visitors.”

  And just then, there’s a knock at the door. Matt vanishes as it swings open, and it’s a good thing, because Mom and Dad are standing there, McDonald’s bag in hand.

  “A godsend,” Luc mutters, then grimaces. “Hospital food is an acquired taste.”

  I managed to weasel out of the church retreat that my family is at ’cause I’m still recovering from the “dog attack.”

  Instead, I browse through my closet, deciding what I’m gonna need in LA, and glance at Luc, who is standing near my dresser. He’s been out of the hospital for a week and most of the bandages are off. A bloodred scar twists down his face from just below the outside corner of his right eye to the middle of his cheek. Dark and dangerous is now scarred and sexy. Mmm. yummy.

  “Are you taking this?” he asks with a raised eyebrow, the strap of my black lace bra looped over his finger.

  “Probably. I need something to get those UCLA guys all hot and bothered.”

  His face darkens as he tucks it back into my drawer.

  “Course, if you come with me, I won’t have time for any of those lightweights.” I try to seem casual as I saunter over and wrap myself around him, but I’m all kinds of tense.

  His expression clears as he ties my hair back in a knot. “Where else would I be?”

  I blow out a nervous sigh. “So, you’ll come to LA?”

  “I’d like to see you try and stop me,” he says with his wicked grin.

  I look around at my papered walls, and it hits me for the first time how much I’m gonna miss home. But what I also realize in this instant is that anyplace with Luc is home. “What are you gonna do when we get there?”

  “Maybe take a class or two. get a job.” He shrugs. “Whatever.”

  “With seven thousand years of job experience, you should be able to find something.”

  He cracks a smile. “I don’t think there are too many openings in damning souls to Hell.”

  I smile back. “It’s LA. You might be surprised.”

  He laughs but then gets all serious and pulls me tighter. “I’m really not sure this is a great idea. It’s not over, you know. If King Lucifer let him live, Beherit will send someone else-or come back himself now that it’s personal.” He rubs his chin with his thumb. “You actually may have killed him, Frannie. From his reaction it looked like gold was his weakness. That dagger to his brimstone heart. hard to say.”

  I’m not sure how I feel about that. I pull away and look up at Luc, trying to shake off the sudden wave of guilt. “So if that’s true, according to you, I’m tagged for Hell now for sure.”

  His eyes flash, and he goes instantly pale. “What are you talking about?”

  “If I killed him, I’m just like Tom. You said no extenuating circumstances. Straight to Hell for me. Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars.”

  Uncertainty clouds his eyes. “It was self-defense. And killing a demon is different,” he says, like he’s trying it out to see if it sounds right.

  “Now you’re making exceptions? You’re such a hypocrite.”

  His face hardens into a determined scowl. As if he can make it so through sheer force of will, he says, “You’re not tagged for Hell.”

  When I don’t say anything, he turns toward the window, his face dark and brooding. He stares out at nothing and says, “This is my fault. I never should have come here.”

  “They would have sent someone else-someone like Belias.”

  He shakes his head slowly and turns back to look me in the eye. “He never would have found you.”

  But Luc did. We’ve been connected from the beginning. I press into him and he folds me into his arms.

  “
I just want to keep you safe,” he whispers into my hair. “Gabriel and Matt can do that better than I can.”

  “I feel safe right here,” I say, still burrowed into him.

  “We can’t do this on our own, Frannie. We’re going to need Gabriel’s and Matt’s help. Especially if you insist on going to LA.”

  I pull back and look at him. “Okay, so if going to LA isn’t a good idea, what do you suggest we do?”

  “We should just take off. Find somewhere to hide.” That wicked sparkle is back in his eyes, and a hint of a smile curls his lips. “Maybe buy some deserted tropical island somewhere. just us, clothing optional.”

  I laugh, kinda liking the sound of that. “I could live with that, but you’re the one who said they can find us anywhere.”

  He looks hopeful. “That was before. Did you notice? Beherit didn’t know I was at Gabriel’s that night. I shouldn’t have been able to surprise him-and I had the hounds with me, so my Shield hid them too. With some help from Matt, this might just work.” He thinks for a second, then smiles. “And I suppose LA’s as good a place to get lost as any.”

  I hope he’s right, but right now all I want to do is lose myself in him. I press tight into his body and bury my face in his chest. “I love you.”

  “I know. That’s the only thing that saved me. You’re my redemption.” He leans down and kisses me.

  I gaze into his perfect eyes and trace my finger lightly down the scar on his cheek. He closes his eyes and shudders, then sighs. I press closer into him, knowing what I want. “Do that thing again.”

  He smiles and opens his eyes, but his brow creases. “I don’t think I can.”

  I stretch up on my tiptoes, loop my arms around his neck, and pull him into a kiss. “Try,” I whisper into his lips, wanting to feel that close to him again.

  He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and leans into me, kissing me deeply. After a minute he pulls back. “I can’t. My essence is human now-a soul. It can’t leave my body while I’m alive.” But he doesn’t look disappointed. He’s smiling.

  My pulse quickens and I feel an electric tingle course through my body, waking every cell. “So. does this mean we can. ”

  His eyes are deep, black pools as he stares down into mine, and I swear I can see his soul. Then they flash and he nods. He leans down to kiss me, and, as we sink into the sheets, into each other, I know this can’t be wrong.

  Luc

  I didn’t know it was possible to feel like this. I kiss her and feel my new flesh-and-blood heart expanding right out of my chest, filling me with indescribable bliss.

  We can be together-really together.

  Her hands start on the button of my jeans, and I wish for the ability to just magic our clothes away.

  But that was my old life. No. not a life at all. Just an existence. I wrap my arms around Frannie and pull her closer. This is living.

  I pull back and look at her, sure I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. She closes her eyes as I trace a finger along her eyebrow and down her nose, but just as my finger reaches her lips, her eyes snap open and her features twist in pain. “NO!” she gasps, bolting upright. I feel her terror just as if it was my own.

  Her face is ashen as she rolls and vomits into the trash can next to the bed. She sits and hugs her knees to her chest. “Me. ” Her whisper is barely audible.

  I pull myself up and sit next to her. “What is it? What did you see?”

  “He’s coming,” she says, her voice strangled. Then she’s off the bed like a shot, pulling on her shirt.

  “Who?” I say, struggling to keep up. I slide my feet onto the floor and button my jeans. “Who’s coming, Frannie?”

  The room starts swirling, and then Gabriel is there, all human pretense gone. He hovers just off the floor in his flowing white robes, and I see Frannie’s terror mirrored in his eyes.

  Matt appears next to him. “He’s coming.”

  And then, like a wrecking ball, some unseen force hits Frannie, lifting her off the ground and throwing her hard into the wall. Matt dives for her, but he’s too late. She slides into a heap on the floor.

  “Frannie!” My legs have me across the room and over her crumpled form in a flash, and when I pull her into my arms, I see the steam start to rise off her skin. She’s a thousand degrees. “Frannie!” I say again, shaking her. Then she opens her eyes and I understand.

  They’re glowing red.

  “Lucifer,” she says in a voice that’s hers but not, “who’s got the prize now?”

  “No!” I hear my voice as if from a great distance as rage nearly rips me in half.

  “Beherit!” Gabriel’s voice vibrates through me. “You can’t do this. You have no claim.”

  “Oh, but I can. am, actually.” Frannie’s lips pull into a sinister grin. “I’ve got special orders from the king Himself. Anything goes.”

  I hold Frannie and, as I look into those glowing eyes, I know the game is over. If King Lucifer wants her so much he’s willing to throw all the rules to the wind, I’m not sure even the Almighty could save her.

  I can’t give up.

  I look at the crucifix dangling from the chain around her neck. Gold. I yank it from her neck and raise it above her.

  But Matt grabs my wrist. He glares at me and rips the crucifix out of my grasp. And he’s right. I can use it to drive Beherit out, but at what cost?

  She starts to pull free of me, and I let her. But then, by instinct, I reach for her hand, holding it in a death grip. Frannie is still in there, and a desperate piece of me needs to stay connected. She pulls herself to her feet, seeming taller, and turns to look me in the eye.

  “How quaint, Lucifer. But you two are well past the hand-holding stage, don’t you think?” She grabs my face and pulls me into a hard kiss. But it’s not Frannie, it’s Beherit, and I feel tendrils of his essence start to work their way through my lips.

  As I pull back, she gasps loudly and her face screws tight as a strangled “no” works its way up from her depths. Gabriel sweeps her out of my arms and into his. He cradles her in one arm and draws a circle on her forehead with the index finger of the other as he whispers something I can’t make out.

  Her eyes snap open, still glowing red, and her face pulls into a grimace. “Good luck with that, Gabriel.”

  As asinine as it is, I find myself jealous that Gabriel can actually do something other than just stand here staring, and I have to fight the urge to rip her out of his arms.

  “A fighter, this one,” she says in a strained voice distinctly not hers.

  “Fight him, Frannie,” I say, reaching for her hand.

  Her face twists with effort. “I want you out.” Her voice is little more than a whisper, but it’s hers. Her body writhes in Gabriel’s arms. He lowers her to the bed, and I pull her into my arms, sending her all my strength.

  “That’s it, Frannie,” Gabriel says. “You have the power. Use it.”

  The flood of hope overwhelms me. Sway. Frannie has Sway. If she fights-if she wants it enough.

  “You don’t want to be in here.” Her voice is stronger, and when her eyes open, there’s only a glowing ring around the irises. “You don’t. want me,” she growls.

  She continues to writhe with the internal struggle for control then suddenly goes still, as if one of them has given up the fight. I gaze into her eyes, panicked nearly to the point of insanity. “Frannie?”

  Her eyes roll back for a moment, and a moan starts from deep inside her, growing in intensity. Her face becomes red and her eyes bulge. There’s a flash of red energy, and she jerks then goes limp.

  Breathing back the panic, I cradle her to my chest. “Frannie? Can you hear me?” She finally looks up at me with clear blue eyes-still scared, but lucid.

  “He’s gone,” she says with a weary smile. I take a few deep breaths to slow my hammering heart then lean down and kiss her.

  Frannie

  I squeeze Luc’s hand where he sits next to me as I lie on the bed.

&
nbsp; “You did good. Your Sway is getting stronger,” he says.

  I’m still shivering and my teeth chatter. “Why can I only remember a little of what happened?”

  “You may only remember the parts when you were in control.”

  “I feel like someone ran over me with a bus. Why didn’t it feel like this with you?”

  “Well, I didn’t pick you up and throw you into the wall, for starters,” Luc says. He and Gabe exchange a look, and Luc shoots him a vindictive smile. “But I guess it’s different when you’ve invited the demon in.”

  Matt drops into the desk chair and glares at Luc.

  Gabe looks at me with a rueful smile. I shrug, not sure what to say, but then a shiver racks me again and I feel nauseous. Out of the blue the tears start, and I’m helpless to stop them. “I’m not going to have a life, am I?” I say between the sobs.

  Luc pulls me tightly to him, but he doesn’t answer.

  Gabe stands in my door and just stares at me. “Nobody knows the future, Frannie. Everything that happens changes everything else. But the deal is, you’re valuable to both sides. The chance that you’ll be able to get through this untagged is pretty much none. And once you’re tagged-either way-you can be manipulated. I’m obviously not all that objective, but if someone was going to be jerking me around, I’d rather it wasn’t Hell.”

  My heart is so heavy. I know what needs to happen, what I need to do, but. “How do I forgive myself for the worst thing I’ve ever done? The worst thing anyone’s ever done?”

  “Start by remembering what really happened.” Matt glides to the foot of the bed and sits. Luc untangles himself from me and moves to the door with Gabe, giving Matt and me some space. “I fell because I was trying to climb too fast. It was my fault.”

  My throat tightens as I remember it. “No. I grabbed your ankle. I was mad, and I pulled you out of the tree.”

  “Stop it. You’ve been beating yourself up for so long. It wasn’t your fault. You need to let it go.” He wraps me in his arms, and I sit like that for what feels like forever.

  “I just wanted you back,” I finally say.