HARD KNOX

by Jaxson Kidman

  “You sure about that?” Banger - the then VP - asked. “Looks to me like you botched the job.”

  “Fuck that,” I said. “Someone ratted me out. PD was waiting for me. I had no chance. Look at my fucking leg.”

  “Come here,” my old man said to me.

  I walked the length of the table and faced him. The old man at home was one thing. The old man that wore the President’s patch was a much different person.

  “We took a vote,” he said. “About this shit. You know it goes with the Reap, Knox. We don’t allow and can’t afford mistakes.”

  So that was it? They were going to strip me of my cut? Slice my ink off my body?

  The old man then started to smile. The whiskey in his eyes made him a little misty. Banger stood up and reached into his pocket. I was presented with a new patch. I was going to be part of the table now. Meaning I was able to attend church. I’d have a say. Goddammit, I was going to have a fucking vote in everything the club did.

  It was almost as good as touching my first tit.

  The table exploded into cheers. When I exited the chapel, the clubhouse exploded next. Then there were drinks and women. Lots of each. I had my choice of anyone I wanted, as long as I wanted. I sat on the edge of a pool table, two women topless in front of me, and I did something insane.

  I walked away.

  I went outside and walked to my motorcycle.

  I took my thundering beast out of the lot and knew right where I wanted to go.

  When I pulled up to the front of the house, I looked at it. It was funny how those days with my grandmother living downstairs and my mother upstairs worrying about money used to seem so bad. Now the place was unused. Except for me. I crashed there when I wanted to.

  But this wasn’t a fucking homecoming thing.

  My eyes then went to the house next door.

  Shit, my old man got caught fucking Ana’s mother. Ana and her mother were on the outs and Ana was basically on the loose. But that night, Ana’s bedroom light was on. To me, that was enough. Just to know she was home and she was safe.

  My life was simply out of control. I was now a table member of the Reaper’s Bastards MC. There was too much violence on my hands and in my heart. I would love Ana with every last breath of mine but I knew in her eyes she wanted more.

  That night she came to the window and saw me. When she disappeared I knew she was coming outside. I could have taken off, but I didn’t. I sat right there. I watched as she darted out the front door and ran toward me. She ran up to my motorcycle and jumped on the back. I gave her my helmet and we took off together.

  I took her to her favorite spot in town, at the top of a ridge that overlooked the city. It was like the stars were on the ground. I put a blanket down, sat there, showed her my new patch, told her what it meant, and then we started up. The first time I fucked her, she was looking up at the stars. The second time, I was looking up at the stars. But the truth was that I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I held her, loved her, wanted to keep the night alive forever, but then I got a call. It was from the old man. I had to get back to the clubhouse. Something was wrong.

  That night, Ana cried when I dropped her off.

  I told her I loved her as she walked away.

  She hugged herself and walked as though shame rattled through her bones.

  It was the last time I fucked her… well, up until I got her pregnant years later…

  chapter nine

  (ana)

  *NOW*

  The club was finally closed for the night. It was strange being in there after closing. When the place was silent. The chairs flipped over, resting on the tables. The gentle clank of glasses as Danny, Porter, and a couple of the other guys at the bar, enjoying their last few drinks of the night.

  Eddie stood at the register, closing out.

  They were all over him by now.

  He was stealing hand over fist and had a way to close out the register without missing what he stole. That meant when Danny or someone went to take care of the drop, it would end up short, but it would look like someone ripped off cash from the safe, not the register.

  I didn't want to be there. I didn’t like the feel of it.

  Porter threw back a shot and turned his glass upside down. He then gave a nod to a guy name Muddy.

  I felt my heart start to race.

  Danny stood and folded his arms, leaning against the back of the bar.

  It looked like a scene from a mobster movie.

  Muddy walked up to Eddie.

  “Hey Mudd,” Eddie said.

  Eddie put his hand into the register and Muddy moved fast. He slammed the drawer with Eddie’s fingers still in it. Eddie let out a scream and jumped back. Porter was there and wrapped an arm around Eddie.

  Muddy then searched Eddie’s pockets and found four hundred dollars in all twenties.

  He was totally busted now.

  I figured they were going to beat him up and toss him out.

  But they put Eddie right on the bar.

  Porter looked at me. “Get some fucking towels. Now.”

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Muddy tells me we could recoup our money lost with some kidneys.”

  My stomach did a flip.

  They all started laughing.

  I ran away, refusing to take part in whatever they were really going to do.

  I bolted from the club, got into my car, and sped away.

  In my heart I wanted to go find Knox. I hadn’t seen him since last week when he came to the club with his band. I drove by the old garage and clubhouse for the Reap and saw there were a few floodlights on. I ended up driving by the old houses, too. They were so rundown and left to just collapse, kind of like the rest of town.

  What the fuck am I doing here?

  I kept asking myself that.

  I went home to my little shithole of an apartment and counted up all my savings. The bulk came from what Knox gave me. It was pathetic. I was trapped.

  I decided to just sleep the rest of the night off.

  I wasn’t given a choice to do that…

  It sounded like a crack of thunder. That’s what woke me up. I jumped up and turned the light on. That’s when Porter came bursting through the door. He had a towel in his hands and was wiping blood off his hands. I feared for what waited outside in my apartment.

  “Porter,” I said. “Are you…”

  He dropped the towel and lunged at the bed. I kicked back, slamming myself off the wall. I hurt myself as he closed in on me. There was rage in his eyes, vodka on his breath, and death on his hands.

  “I had nothing to do with Eddie,” I said. “I told Danny the second I saw it happen. Like you asked.”

  Porter gripped the covers on my bed and leaned forward. “What else happened that night?”

  “What?”

  “Who was fucking there?”

  The color left my face. I wanted to throw up.

  Danny must have told Porter about Knox. The question was… how much did Danny see and how much did he tell Porter?

  My answer stared at me.

  “You fucking worked over Danny to help out Knoxville,” Porter said. “That’s what I heard.”

  “That’s a lie,” I said. “Danny wasn’t going to pay Knoxville’s band. So Knoxville hit Danny a few times.”

  “Who gave Knoxville the money?”

  I froze. That was a mistake. I was giving myself away.

  “Who?!” Porter growled at me.

  “I did,” I whispered. “Danny gave me the money and said he was calling you.”

  “And you expect me to believe you just gave him the money and that was it?”

  “He left,” I said, trying to save face. The money Danny had given to me was under my bed in a shoebox. “He got on his motorcycle and left.”

  “What if someone saw more than that?” Porter asked.

  My teeth started to chatter with my lips shut. I was terrified. I knew the rage Porter had but I never
knew the rage he had after killing someone. It was spilling over, as though he wasn’t done yet.

  “You don’t understand,” I said. “What we went through.”

  “That’s what you want?” Porter asked. “Some dirty mechanic biker?”

  “I never said that,” I said. “I was helping him. He always helped me. When I was younger…”

  I saw Porter move his left hand.

  I had no idea if he was going to hit me or kill me.

  So I snapped. My flight or fight kicked into overdrive and I swung my foot up, kicking Porter in the mouth. His head snapped back and it gave me an opening to escape.

  I rolled to the right and jumped off the bed.

  The door looked a mile away.

  It wasn’t like the movies though. I didn’t make some last second escape and get away. That’s not how real life always worked.

  Instead, Porter had a handful of my shirt and pulled. I flew backwards from the door - now it looked two miles away - and he had an arm around me. I thrashed and kicked before he let me go and tossed me forward into the wall. I turned at the last second, my shoulder taking the brunt of the hit.

  I turned, not knowing what to expect next.

  “I should have known you were a whore,” Porter said. He then closed in on me again. “But you don’t get away with it that easily, Ana. You’re going to be my whore until I’m done with you.”

  This time, when Porter moved his left hand, I didn’t try to fight back.

  I shut my eyes and braced myself for whatever I had coming…

  chapter ten

  (knox)

  *NOW*

  I threw down an ace and then tossed my cigarette to the garage floor and stepped on it. I put my hand to the middle of the table and grinned.

  “You fucker,” Slam said to me.

  “Can’t help it,” I said. “I never fucking lose.”

  “Fuck this,” Matteo said. He threw his cards into the middle of the table. “I’m out of cash for the night.”

  “Saving his last twenty for the titty bar,” Noah said and laughed.

  “Eat shit, Noah,” Matteo said. “Night’s too young to blow my cash and not my load.”

  “Damn,” I said. “Those are true words, brother. You should get that painted on a wooden sign and hang it above your couch in the living room. You know? That would look good.”

  Now we all started laughing.

  Shit, this was what it had become. Me and six guys, sitting, playing cards. There was a seventh chair at the table, but it was left empty. I glanced to the chair, nodding with a deep sense of respect. Our other boy, King, ended up on death row.

  Not to mention my old man was serving a life sentence too. He wasn’t on death row but he had no shot at parole.

  That’s what happens to a MC when the ground gets shaken and breaks open. We had been set up a while ago and shit just hit the fan. While things broke apart, the core of us stuck together. We kept the garage open the best we could. Our repair work wasn’t the bulk of the business.

  Protection was.

  We had contacts from Reno to Tijuana, shit, all the way up into Washington state and into Canada. If someone needed product moved and product protected to move, we were the guys to do it. The Reap would live on. We had most of the PD in our back pocket and we still enjoyed the outlaw rambling life.

  Still, it wasn’t the same without my old man at the head of the table, right there in church, smacking the gavel, bellowing orders at us.

  “Hey,” Ari said, “we got four cars in today. Getting a little busy again.”

  “That’s good,” I said. “Just keep the straight business straight and the rest underground. We’re doing fine, guys.” I took my earnings and held them up. “I’m doing really fine tonight.”

  “I heard some rumblings, brother,” Liam said. He sipped a glass of whiskey and leaned forward. “There’s noise all around that the family is looking to make another push into town.”

  The family were the people that asshole Porter ran with. They were deeply connected, all the way back to Brooklyn, New York. They were part of the reason the MC took heat, but generally we were all peaceful. They had a different view on their sense of freedom than what we had. We rarely crossed paths. Well, unless you counted me and Ana… and the fact that she was with Porter.

  I slammed my fist down, pissed off. “I don’t want to hear any of that shit again. They won’t come through here. What can they do? Knock it all down and put up condos?”

  “That’s exactly what they can do,” Elijah said.

  “Fuck me,” Slam said. “Last thing we need is that bullshit.”

  “It won’t happen,” I said. “They’re smarter than that. They’d have too much to manage. As long as they get their access to the city to skim the edge of what they want, they’re fine. Plus, everyone knows they hide out here. It’s a safe zone for them. Why bring attention to it?”

  “True,” Matteo said. “But we need to keep our eyes open. I don’t like when they get together and talk.”

  “What about you?” Ari asked me. “You know your girl’s sort of connected.”

  “Hey,” I snapped. “Listen to me, motherfucker. Ana is not connected. I don’t want to hear that talk at my table.”

  “Your table,” Slam said.

  “My goddamn table,” I said and I stood up.

  Suddenly, there was a fire inside me. I walked to the back of the garage and opened the storage closet. That’s where all the leather cuts were hanging. I reached for mine and peeled it off the hanger. I turned and held it up.

  Everyone at the table looked shocked as hell.

  “What are you doing?” Slam asked.

  “I’m putting this cut back on,” I said.

  “You can’t do that,” Matteo said. “Not without a vote. Not without Uncle Jakey. Shit, you need to talk to your old man.”

  I slid my arms into the leather cut.

  Son of a bitch, it felt right. It was like kissing Ana. What I was meant to fucking do in life. I pulled at the lapels and looked to the patches I had earned. I was damn close to becoming the enforcer for the MC. I was on the verge of pushing forward into a spot that would let me rise up as high as I wanted. Sergeant at Arms? VP? Hell, the fucking President of the Reaper’s Bastards?

  None of that mattered now though.

  This was about right now.

  In my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about Ana. The shit that Danny guy pulled, all of it tied to Porter and the family. It wasn’t going to fly anymore in my town.

  “All of you,” I said. “Get your cuts back on. We take the night right now. I’ll set up a meet with Uncle Jakey and I’m due for a visit to the old man anyway.”

  To my surprise, everyone listened to me.

  We were then standing in the garage, all in our leather cuts, looking out to the night. And it felt really good. The town was falling apart. The economy never recovered and we were basically the runoff for the city shit. But the town still had purpose. People needed to be protected and we were going to do it.

  All of this fire kicked up inside me because I had seen Ana again. Somewhere inside me I had secretly hoped she would end up out of this place. Find a decent enough guy who would support and give her everything she ever wanted. But she stayed in town. She was trapped.

  “What now?” Matteo asked.

  I took one last leather cut out of the closet and walked it to the empty chair. I draped it over the back and stood there. I saw the look on everyone’s face. We all grew up together. From grade school until now. That’s what made us so fucking tight. Elijah used to wear glasses. In first grade, some prick called him four eyes. It was right after his mother died. His father was an alcoholic and treated Elijah like a punching bag. Elijah took a swing at the kid and the kid then grabbed Elijah’s glasses and took off. I chased the asshole down and beat him senseless. From that moment on me and Elijah were best friends.

  We all had stories like that, including King.

 
But there’s another time to talk about that.

  “Our brother is sitting in a cell right now,” I said. “He’s waiting for the rattle of the keys to open his cell door one last time. Then he’s going to be taken from us. From this world. Who knows what comes after the mortal outlaw world… but I know this - King isn’t sitting there down on himself. He’s not worried about getting out. He knows we’re here ready to keep this club alive.”

  Just like that, the Reap was back in serious business.

  I had a high rushing through me.

  That decision, however, ended up being a serious mistake.

  We split up to all deal with separate issues. A couple guys wanted to get to the strip club and set up shop. Slam and Matteo had a meeting with a representative from another crew to work out a deal to move a shipment north.

  I ended up on my own, on the streets, thundering into the midnight darkness, feeling free.

  It was five minutes into the ride when I spotted the car behind me.

  I knew it was nothing but trouble.

  See, right then, some guys would have taken off. They would have found a way to make a call and get a group together to work things out. For me, I didn’t give a shit. I wasn’t afraid of anything. If someone needed me, they’d get me. Face to face.

  My old man used to tell me my attitude and cockiness was going to bite me in the ass one day. Granted, it had bitten me many times in the ass.

  That night… my ass was about to get chomped on.

  chapter eleven

  (knox)

  *THEN*

  I was on borrowed time still living in the house. Hell, I was more of a squatter than a resident. I wasn’t sure whose name the house was actually in, not that it mattered. My mother was long gone and the old man slept at the clubhouse every night. I had a spot at the clubhouse myself, but being in the apartment kept me close to Ana.

  Soon enough the house would be taken by the bank and the locks would be changed. Then I’d be able to just cruise by on my motorcycle and see a standing memory that contained more memories than I’d probably share with anyone.