Understanding Beauty (The Beauty Trilogy Book 2)

by Raven Scott

  I let the coolness from the stone seep into my skin, trying to calm myself down.

  “I have feelings for him, Dalton. And I’m so, so sorry. Sometimes, I feel like wanting him, caring about him the way I’m starting to is betraying you. But then I think about how you always just wanted the best for everyone and you always wanted me to be happy, so it’s like maybe you wouldn’t be angry, but then I feel so guilty, and . . . ugh!” I run my hands up the marble and trace the outline of his name. “Why does this have to be so hard?”

  I sit against his headstone for the better part of two hours. By the time I stand up, it’s freezing, I’m freezing, and it started to rain. Somehow, I hadn’t noticed that, though. Walking back to the flat, the rain falls a little harder and my jacket starts to soak through.

  The cold is a bit more than I can handle and as I drag my feet up each step to our door, I shiver a little harder. Fishing my keys out of my pocket, I unlock the door as quietly as possible, hoping that Rogen has either taken his guest to his room or she’s already left.

  “Where the fuck have you been, Parker?” Rogen roars as I take my first step into the house and let the door shut behind me.

  “I went for a walk,” I say, quietly tossing my keys on the side table.

  “I have called everyone and their fucking mother looking for you. Why the fuck did you walk off?”

  “Didn’t want to disturb your plans.” I’m mumbling more than talking, but it’s only because I’m trying to keep my teeth from chattering together.

  “What plans? The only fucking plans I had was to come home and lay down with you and watch a movie. Maybe order a pizza. Instead, I’ve spent two hours worried out of my fucking mind.” I finally look up at him and can’t stop the tears from pooling in my eyes. He stares at me for a long moment and then he sighs, realization flashing through his eyes. “You thought I had plans with Sierra?”

  I struggle to get my soaked coat off as I talk. “Well, she was sitting on our steps with beer. You going to try and tell me you didn’t have plans with her?”

  Rogen takes a step forward. “I didn’t. I told her she had to leave right after you went storming off. She didn’t even come inside.” He reaches out and helps me pull my jacket off, hanging it up for me, and then turns back and lightly cups my face. His eyes go wide. “Jesus Christ, Parker, you’re fucking freezing, baby.”

  “I’ve been outside,” I say, letting the cold finally take over, making my shoulders shake.

  Rogen pulls my body into his and wraps his arms around me. “Parker, there hasn’t been anything between me and Sierra for a while now. I broke things off with her when I moved in here. I don’t want her, baby . . . I want you.”

  My whole body goes rigid. Very cautiously, I tilt my head up enough to look at Rogen’s face. He’s staring down at me with this look in his eyes, his hands again coming up to cup either side of my face. My gaze flickers to his lips as I lick my own and a groan seeps from his mouth.

  Our lips crash together, my hands yanking at his hair as his travel down my body to grab my ass. Rogen lifts me, wet clothes and all, and I wrap my legs around him, kissing him so hard our teeth clash a few times as our tongues fight for dominance.

  I pull and tug at his hair, his neck, his shoulders, every inch of him I can touch, trying to get as close to him as I can. His lips leave mine and I tilt my head back just as he pushes me against the door, licking and sucking hard at my skin as he moves toward my collar bone.

  I moan and try to grind against his erection that’s pressing hard through our clothes against my clit. Every feeling running through my body is more than just want. I need Rogen right now. The same way I need air, that’s how bad I need my best friend.

  “Please, don’t stop,” I moan as I bring my head forward and nip at his earlobe.

  “Tell me you want this, Parker. I need to hear you say that you want this, that you want me, because I can’t go back after this. If I take you, that’s it,” he pleads breathlessly against my neck.

  I nod my head, bringing my lips back to his as I hold his face in my hands. “I want this. I want you. Please, don’t stop, Rogen.”

  He reaches down and holds me up by my ass again, turning and carrying me to my bedroom. By the time he tosses me on the bed, both our shirts are somewhere out in the hallway and I keep my eyes on his as I lay back, lifting my body to peel my pants off, tossing them to the side of the room.

  Rogen drops his jeans, stepping out of them and kneeling on the end of the bed. A wicked smile spreads across my lips and I lift my hand, crooking my finger and gesturing for him to come to me as I slide my body back further on the bed and spread my legs for him.

  He growls with pure lust in his eyes as he stalks up the bed like a tiger going after a gazelle. Holding his body over mine, he kisses my lips deeply and then trails biting kisses down my chest and stomach. He roughly rips the sides of my panties and throws the scraps to the side.

  “I like having my dessert first,” he says, sending a shiver through my body before he leans down and sucks my clit into his mouth.

  I fall back on the bed, my whole body arching as he flicks his tongue against my clit, over and over, his hands holding my thighs down.

  “Cum for me, Parker. Let me taste you, baby,” he says, sliding two fingers inside me as he puts his mouth back to my clit. He sucks hard as he moves his fingers in and out of me roughly, until I’m spiraling out of control in ecstasy, his name echoing from my lips throughout the room.

  Rogen licks and sucks my clit as the aftershocks shake through my body before he kisses back up my stomach.

  “Rogen,” I whisper as I lift my head so my lips reach his.

  I squeal when he sits up on his knees and grabs my hips to flip me onto all fours. Kissing up my back, he unhooks my bra and reaches around to play with my hardened nipples. “Wait, Ro,” I say, trying to catch my breath.

  “Baby?” he says as I reach over to my nightstand and open the drawer, grabbing a condom and holding it over my shoulder to him. He chuckles. “I have one in my wallet. Who said we were there yet?”

  As I put my hand down, Rogen bites the skin right above my ass cheek and I moan, pushing back toward him. “Please, Rogen.”

  He curses under his breath. “Don’t move,” he whispers as I glance over my shoulder.

  Rogen rips open the foil packet and then slides the condom down his length. I bite my bottom lip just as he looks up and makes eye contact with me. Turning my head forward, I scream as Rogen slams into me all the way, his hand tangling in my hair and pulling so hard I can’t move my head at all.

  All I can do is moan and scream his name as he pounds into me, his free hand coming around my body to pinch my clit. He fucks me harder and deeper than anyone has before.

  “Rogen,” I pant. “I’m going to cum, Rogen, please,” I beg as the pressure becomes too much.

  “Fuck, baby,” he growls as he bites my shoulder.

  I scream again, cumming around him, and a second later, he’s slamming into me one last time, calling my name.

  I collapse forward as Rogen gently pulls out of me. I lay on my side as the bed dents and then lifts with him getting up. A moment later, I jump as he opens my legs and runs a warm washcloth over my skin, leaning down to kiss the inside of my thighs as he does.

  “Ro, I can do—”

  “I want to, Parker,” he says with a stern look in his eyes.

  There’s a heaviness in my chest as I watch him go back to the bathroom and toss the cloth in the hamper. He turns the lights out before coming back and helping me under the covers, sliding in behind me and pulling my body against his.

  His lips press softly against the back of my head. “Tell me you don’t regret this, P.”

  “No,” I say earnestly, turning in his arms and pressing my lips to his. “I don’t regret a single thing.”

  He kisses the tip of my nose and then pulls us down to snuggle into the bed and blankets, and into each other. “Good, because I don�
�t think I can keep away from you now that I’ve had you.”

  His words hit me like a tidal wave and I pull myself closer to him. Making love and fucking Rogen is like a force of nature, it’s dangerous and all-consuming, and I know in my heart he’s right . . .

  Things can’t ever go back to the way they were before.

  12

  I wake up suffocating in warmth with a fine sheen of sweat sticking to my body. Opening my eyes, the sun just barely filters through the tiny opening between the curtains. I arch my back and stretch, my muscles aching like I’ve run a marathon and then stayed in bed for too long. Arms snake around my waist and pull my ass back into a massive hard-on and then lips nip gently at my earlobe.

  “Morning, beautiful,” Rogen whispers, planting kisses behind my ear and down my neck to my shoulder.

  As I push my body back into his, everything about last night comes flooding back and I am acutely aware of the ache between my legs. It’s not something I will complain about in the least bit. “Morning,” I say, feeling a bit shier than I think I should.

  “Baby, roll over and look at me.” He loosens his arm and holds it just high enough that I can roll myself and get situated so I’m facing him. “Talk to me. Do you regret this? I’m hoping that isn’t why you’re so quiet because last night was the best night I think I’ve ever had, but I need you to be honest with me no matter what.”

  I reach out and palm the side of his face before leaning in to kiss him with as much passion as I can this early in the morning. When I pull back, his eyes are a little wider and his face is slightly flushed. “I don’t regret anything. I’m not going to say that I don’t have a million feelings about this, but please know that none of them are regret. Though I’m glad I’m off work today,” I say with a slight chuckle.

  Rogen’s brows knit together and he lays his hands against the sides of my neck, which is instantly soothing. “Why?”

  Biting my bottom lip, I shift my eyes down to his chest instead of his face. “Because I’m sore. . . way more than I think I’ve ever been.”

  Rogen barks out a laugh and rolls, pushing me down into the bed as his lips slam into mine. His body keeps me pinned under him, but I can tell he’s trying not to make anything hurt more than it already does. “You didn’t have any nightmares last night,” he says against my skin, moving his kisses up and down my neck, sending shocks of pleasure through my body like lightning.

  “Mmhmm,” I semi-moan as my hands find his hair.

  As Rogen leans up and kisses my lips several times, it really does dawn on me how rested I feel. Last night might be the best night's sleep I’ve gotten in the last year, and it’s so strange how different it makes me feel. Not just my body but my head seems clearer, too.

  “Come to work with me today,” Rogen says, staring down at me.

  I can’t help my confusion. “What?”

  A glimpse of apprehension passes over his features. “I mean, if you want to. You don’t have to. I just thought maybe—”

  “I’d love to,” I say quickly, reaching up and pulling his lips back to mine. “You know I’ve never been in a shop.”

  “Like, at all? Ever?”

  I shake my head. “Nope.”

  “Well, today is your lucky day. I can show you around and Rain actually has her appointment today, so you can sit in for that. Plus, I have your sketch to show you.”

  “Oh my, seriously?”

  Rogen climbs off me but leans down to kiss me again. “Yep. So, I’m gonna shower and make us lunch, and when I’m done, you can get around while I’m prepping the food.”

  Lying back against the pillows, I can’t take my eyes off Rogen’s perfectly sculpted ass as he makes his way to my bathroom. My best friend is seriously delicious. Men as sweet as him shouldn’t be that damn sexy, but he is, and somehow he wants my very broken self.

  That is something I may never understand.

  An hour later, we’re walking into Viking Ink, Rogen holding my hand tightly in his. He made super-sized sandwiches for lunch and we were both tempted to nap afterward, but he never misses an appointment. Not unless it’s a life or death emergency. I love that he wants to share this with me. Tattooing is Rogen’s passion and he doesn’t have to share it with me, but he wants to.

  That pulls at my heart so much and it means everything to me. I wish I could tell him that. Tell him what being with him means, how it really feels . . . I just can’t ever seem to find the right words anymore.

  Rogen holds the door open and I step into a waiting room of hunter green walls and lush, soothing furniture. He wraps his arms around my waist and presses his lips to the side of my head just as I look over and catch eyes with the girl standing behind the front counter.

  “T, this is my girl, Parker. Baby, this is T. She’s the receptionist for the shop,” Rogen says, letting go of my waist to put his arm around my shoulders.

  I nod in greeting, not missing the fact he called me his girl or the fact T has a murderous look in her eyes like she wants to rip my head off. I’ve never been one to gloat or be smug, but there’s something that gives me a strange, petty satisfaction with how she’s looking at me and how his arms are around me.

  She isn’t bad looking, and probably more typical of what people would assume Rogen would go for. She’s taller than me with raven hair and blue highlights. She’s wearing black from head to toe with the whole rocker chick vibe oozing off her.

  “Hi, Parker,” she sneers. The look on her face is more one of smelling something bad than a greeting.

  Rogen chuckles softly before turning me away from the counter. “Send my appointment back when she gets here,” he yells over his shoulder. “Now, let me show you around.” He squeezes me to his side and kisses the side of my head again.

  We walk down a hallway and he stops in front of a door that holds a sign reading, “Ro’s Magic Land”. I raise my eyebrow as I turn my head to look up at my very handsome best friend whose face is slightly red.

  “I’ll explain later.”

  “Conceited much?”

  “The guys put it up after some shit happened my first week here. Like I said, I’ll explain later.” He lets go of my shoulder and pulls a key from his pocket, unlocking the door. “Let me show you the sketch I did for you, baby. I think you’re going to like it.”

  Rogen walks in before me and as I step in the room, I freeze, and my jaw drops open. Hanging on the walls are hand-drawn portraits of Collins, Rain, Rowan, Cannon . . . and me. They’re breathtaking and the weight of amazement and overwhelming warmth I feel toward Rogen as I stare at my portrait makes my chest hurt.

  Rogen is talking to me, but it’s just a buzz of background noise as I stare up at the drawings. They’re so realistic, it’s almost creepy. But at the same time, they’re the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

  I jump when something touches the side of my neck, and I realize Rogen is standing in front of me, his hand gently gripping my neck, his thumb moving over my skin softly. “I started doing them to pass the time, but I realized that I wanted you all here with me in some way, so it became my project over the last year.”

  “They’re beautiful. Why didn’t you show me before?” I tear my eyes away from the walls to meet his gaze.

  “You were going through so much, Parker. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But I wanted to paint you how I remembered you before the pain. The person I know you’ll get back to eventually.” His voice is barely audible by the time he finishes his sentence.

  I lean in and kiss him softly, letting my fingers comb through his hair. The moment his tongue teases my lips, though, I push against him and tilt my head to kiss him more passionately, quickly becoming rough and yanking on his hair until he growls against my mouth.

  “This reaction is why I’m glad I waited.”

  “Mmhmm,” I groan, kissing him again as his arms go around me, squeezing two handfuls of my ass as he pulls my entire body flush against his.

  “Baby, let me s
how you this,” he says, gently pulling away from me and taking my hand. Rogen leans over and takes a large sketch off his work table and holds it up for me.

  My eyes go wide and the breath catches in my throat as I take the paper with one hand and begin to trace over the drawing with the fingertips of my other hand. It’s the silhouette of a woman in a cloak with a black wolf next to her and a pocket watch dangling from her hand. The time on the clock is Dalton’s exact time of death.

  The world stops spinning for the seconds that my eyes are on that clock. All the pain, the hurt, the emptiness that’s missing when I’m with Rogen bats around the inside of my head and chest. I don’t notice the tears until the first one hits the paper just under the sketch.

  “I’m sorry, baby. Parker, I didn’t mean to make you upset,” Rogen says as he slides the sketch out of my hand and then cups both sides of my face so I’ll look at him.

  I cover his hands with mine. “No, babe, it’s wonderful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so perfect in my entire life.”

  “Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes searching mine with his brows pulled together.

  I kiss him again, and then again. “I’m positive.”

  Completely forgetting we’re at his job, I let my hands roam over his shoulders, arms, and chest as he kisses me fully and roughly, his own hands skimming over my body.

  “Is that sanitary where I’m about to get a tattoo?”

  I jump and squeal in surprise, but Rogen pulls me tighter against him, burying his face in my hair and mumbling a string of curse words before he stands up straight.

  “You pick now of all moments to start being on fucking time, huh, Rain?”

  Rowan moves around Rain from the hallway and pats Rogen on the arm as she gives me a side hug. “I made her leave early. No way I was listening to her bitch and complain if she missed this appointment . . . again.”

  Rogen and I chuckle as he kisses my hair and turns to start getting things ready for Rain’s tattoo.