Closer

by Kaia Bennett

  Her brow furrowed and she licked her lips. He hated himself for tripping over his words, for scaring her just moments after such a great high.

  "Why are we pretending this is enough?” Gabriel blurted out before he could stop himself. “I mean, is this enough for you...?"

  He cleared his throat, feeling a little lost and alone on a ledge. She looked up, her lips parted, and her eyes blinking as if she were in a daze. He wasn't being clear.

  "Do you ever think about you and me really being together? Exclusively?" He waited for her to answer his question with bated breath.

  She inhaled sharply.

  Shit…

  He started backpedaling. "If you don't that's... It's okay... I just thought that I was the only one you were with right now—"

  "You are," she cut in softly, but firmly. "I'm not sleeping with anyone else. I-I don't want anyone else."

  He stared down at her, his gaze drifting over the contours of her beautiful face, the smile that slowly crept along her lips.

  "Me neither," he whispered, returning her smile and trailing the backs of his fingers along her bottom lip. He smiled when it trembled slightly under his touch. It was magic the way her body responded to his.

  He'd had good sex before. Great sex. He had moments where he thought it couldn’t get any better. He’d been with women he thought had no comparison. But Nicole had surpassed everything he’d known before and brought with her some extra ingredient he hadn’t known was missing. He'd never laughed like he did with any other woman the way he laughed when he was with Nic. And this little girl, with her klutzy ways and her quirky sense of humor, was the only one that had his body wrapped around her little finger like this. He wondered if she had any clue how long he'd been grappling with asking her to be with him, how long he'd wanted to ask her to only touch him and look at him this way. Long before he even knew what he wanted he was hoping for her to say she was his, just his.

  It didn't make any sense. He used to be perfectly okay with just meandering from one girl to the next, having the casual fling to avoid the very thing he was jumping into with Nic. Being friendly about sex had been easy, and easy had been what he wanted after his failed attempts at stable relationships. But this simple act of asking her for more made his heart pound in his chest and his head feel light. He felt nervous and vulnerable, scared for the future. So why did he want to keep going? Why did the idea of tying himself to her feel better than being "free" did?

  "I know we said we'd just keep things light," he began, gathering courage with each word and each flicker of excitement in her eyes, "but since I've been back it just keeps getting heavier. At least it is for me.”

  His eyes darted up to hers somewhat nervously. His fingers stroked across her cheek, and he wondered distantly if he was trying to convince her with his touch to agree with him. "I don't really want to be with anyone else. And I think... I mean I feel like maybe this time, we could really try. I'd like to try with you, if you want to."

  She gave him the most incredulous look, as if to say, Are you off your fucking rocker, dude?

  "I'd like that too," she said softly, mimicking his gentle caress over his cheek.

  "For real?"

  She laughed and shook her head. "What did you think I was going to say, Gabe? The truth is I've been waiting for this a long time. For as long as I've known you. How could you not know that I want to be with you?"

  The smile that broke across her face was so beautiful. Who'd have thought he had the power to make her this happy, even for a moment? He leaned in and pressed his smile to hers, relaxing into a wave of relief that she seemed to share.

  When he pulled away, he gave her a lopsided grin and a warily raised eyebrow. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the record deal, right?"

  "Oh please. You're still poor and that advance you got can only go so far," she quipped with lopsided grin of her own. "I'm totally using you for your body."

  He snickered against her cheek and brought his face up to her hair, inhaling the scent that would always make him think of her. "Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind, Nicole."

  "‘Kay."

  Her lips touched his. His arms wrapped around her. They let the realization that they were a real couple sink in.

  This time, they would really try.

  Chapter 7

  Nicole yawned again for the second time in five minutes, causing Trish to look at her quizzically.

  "You are always tired these days. What the hell are you doing at night?”

  Nicole burst out laughing in embarrassment and then forced herself to stifle it. All last night... and earlier that morning, she'd been doing Gabriel, which explained why she was so tired. And happily sore. It was a feeling she was fast growing accustomed to now that they had officially been a couple for a few weeks.

  Trish took one look at her and shook her head. "You're useless to me like this."

  "Like what?" Nicole asked, unable to wipe the giddy smile off her face.

  "Like that! All happy and shit," Trish scoffed and leaned on the counter. "Go stand over there; you're throwing off my cynical vibe."

  Nicole laughed again but it was cut off by another yawn. Truth be told, part of the reason she was so tired was because the store was practically dead and she was bored out of her mind. Inventory was done, they'd made all of their calls to the customers whose delivered goods were available, and they'd put up the displays for new merchandise. That was maybe a couple of hours worth of work, and between the morning and lunchtime there'd only been a handful of customers. For whatever reason Wednesdays were always like this, and it left her wishing she could go take a nap in the storeroom. That, and the demands of her boyfriend. She smiled at the thought.

  She finished yawning. "It's not my fault my boyfriend is actually awesome for a change."

  Gabriel. Her boyfriend.

  "Bitch, did you just squeal in delight?" Trish asked, cutting her slanted eyes at Nic before turning completely to stare at her.

  Nicole's eyes widened in genuine surprise. "Did I?"

  Trish shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I fucking hate when people are in love."

  "Whoa, dude, calm it down, now¸" Nicole said holding up a hand. "Don't go runnin' off at the mouth about that love stuff. We've just started being exclusive, and for once I'm not going to jinx things by moving so fast."

  "Nicole. Sweetie. You've been doin' the do with that guy for over a year. Don't you think it's a little late to be talking about slowing things down?"

  "No. I mean, it was an off and on thing. Neither one of us owed each other anything. But it's different this time. It's just him and me. I don't need to worry about anything but us trying to work things out. And why are you so jaded, anyway? I thought you and Chase were hitting it off?"

  "See that's where you and I differ. I actually know how to have casual sex. That's what's up with Chase and me."

  Nicole narrowed her eyes.

  "Don't start, Nic. That love shit is catchy and I don't want it. I'm perfectly happy not going down that road. And with a musician of all people," Trish scoffed. "I'd kill myself. Or him. All those groupies. And then chicks like Meredith Rowe prancing around like one of the guys but looking like fucking Rocker Barbie—"

  There was dead silence for a long moment. Trish winced and Nicole saw it out of the corner of her eye. She bit down on her lips, trying like hell to swallow down the lump of unease that was spoiling her good mood.

  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." Trish started a quick back pedaling operation. "It's just musicians... you know, they're always away from home. But I was talking about me and Chase, not you and Gabe. He probably wouldn't even look twice at her now that he's with you for real."

  Nicole had really almost forgotten all about Meredith. That day at the club seemed like ages ago. Christmas had already passed and New Years was a few days away. She hadn't seen Meredith in over a month, and though the woman had occasionally crossed her mind, Nicole had been so happy she hadn'
t really dwelled on it. Meredith hadn't been a threat because in Nicole's mind the only way she would have been able to come in between them was if Gabe was free to date other people. But now Gabriel was her boyfriend. He was busy all day in the studio, and most nights he could be found in her bed or calling her before he went to sleep at his place. There was no need to worry, even if Meredith was on the same label and would be touring with him soon.

  That's what she tried to tell herself. But Trish's words stirred up insecurity within her. She remembered Gabriel's reaction to Meredith, the history they shared. She remembered that despite her quirky style, Meredith was gorgeous and talented. And she was doing something she actually loved, like Gabriel was. In a lot of ways, they had more in common than Nicole and Gabriel.

  "Nicole, relax, okay? You know I talk before I think and half the time I don't even know what I'm saying anyway."

  "It's cool, Trish. You're right. It's not easy to make something like that work," she said with a shrug, trying to keep her voice and her attitude light. "But Gabriel's different. He's not some rock cliché, and I'm not some neglected naïve girlfriend. It's different."

  "Of course it is," Trish said right away. But her glossy dark head of hair bounced as she nodded too emphatically, her voice was too sweet and pandering, and her gorgeously expressive eyes were too wide.

  Trish was wrong. It was cynicism that was catchy, not happiness. All it took was some prodding and the fear lurking under the surface came forth to fuck up her whole day.

  Nicole shook her head, staring outside at the cars pulling into the parking lot. She'd never been so relieved to sell merchandise in her life.

  "I'll take this one," she said in a leaden voice as she walked around the counter, away from Trish and her dose of reality.

  ***

  "I don't even know why you're surprised," Q said, nodding at the buffet table's worth of food that Chase had ordered. "He said he was hungry."

  Jonny's wide blue eyes had been staring at Chase and then down at his food like he was a freak of nature. And he was. A tall stack of pancakes, extra sausage links, a plate of scrambled eggs, some French toast sticks, hash browns, bacon, and a glass of orange juice were sitting in front of him and he was digging in as if his life depended on finishing every last morsel, right down to the final drop of maple syrup.

  Nuke, along with Q and Gabe, was still waiting for his order to arrive. The food smelled so good it had all of their mouths watering. But Nuke was the only one delirious enough with hunger to brave Chase's wrath. He reached quickly for a hash brown and almost succeeded in snatching it off the plate. The look of feral dominance on Chase's face as he slapped Nuke's hand away made Gabriel laugh and shake his head.

  "Dude, were you raised by wolves? Let him have a fucking hash brown," Gabe said in between bouts of laughter.

  "Did you meet me yesterday? You know how this works by now, man," Chase argued, swallowing down a piece of bacon, and then stuffing a whole French toast stick into his mouth. He said something that sounded like, "This is all mine, motherfuckers," but his mouth was full, so it was a rough translation.

  Chase wasn’t the only one who was hungry and tired. It had been a long day in the studio trying to tweak a couple of the tracks that weren't coming out right. They’d grown tired of snacking on the pizza they ordered for lunch, and truthfully their main focus was on getting the music and the vocals right. The home stretch was in sight. So at two o'clock in the morning they finally wrapped it up and headed over to a diner near the studio to eat before they parted ways.

  Scattered about the diner were college kids that might have been up late studying, and a few that had definitely been up drinking. They looked young as hell, like freshman in high school to Gabriel's eyes. He wondered if he and the guys had really looked that immature once. In another corner was an old man, just a cup of coffee in front of him, and a book, while a couple of blue collar looking guys sat at the counter. And then there was the band, filling up after a long night of making music.

  This would be one of those moments he looked back on when this album was through and they were onto the next one. Little moments like these mixed in with the big moments on stage, and the soon-to-be-drunken memories they would make, like the ones coming up on New Years. It was Jonny who reminded them of what they had to look forward to at the end of this year.

  "Record label party. Kiki's party," he said lifting one hand and then the other as if weighing out the options. "Record label party means model bitches and more expensive champagne. Kiki's party means homegrown bitches that wanna fuck guys in a band, shots, and beer." He looked up, arching an eyebrow. "So, which bitches are we gonna ring in the New Year with?"

  "Stop saying 'bitches', dude," Gabe said, shooting the waitress an apologetic smile as she set his plate in front of him and then a plate in front of Q.

  "I say both," Q said, a mischievous glint in his brown eyes. "I think Kiki will be real happy to see me." Kiki Sorensen was an old friend of the band who had helped them book a couple of decent gigs when they were still just playing for kicks. Q had managed to break her down and sleep with her while they were both drunk as hell at one of her parties. He was still delusional enough to think she was waiting for more, much to the amusement of the rest of the guys.

  "Is she even gonna remember that you fucked, Q? I thought you slipped her a roofie or something," Nuke joked, taking a sip of his orange juice. Q responded by mocking Nuke's laugh and then staring at him without blinking.

  "Kiki's party, definitely. After the record label party, though," Chase said, swallowing down a mouth full of pancakes. "That way if it blows we can bounce early."

  Nuke nodded and reached across Jonny, who was in between him and Gabe, to take his plate from the waitress. "Sounds like a plan."

  "Oh, give me a fucking break," Q said suddenly.

  Gabe, who was in the middle of texting Nicole, looked up to find the guys staring at him like he was a fallen comrade. "What?" he asked, furrowing his brow as he looked between them.

  Chase chewed slower. Jonny shook his head. Nuke sipped his drink. Q pointed at Gabriel's phone and asked, "Do we even need to ask who that is?"

  Gabe gave them all a lopsided grin and leaned back in the booth. "Am I not allowed to text my girlfriend, now?"

  "No, you're allowed," Nuke said.

  "Just not all fucking day, man," Jonny added under his breath.

  Gabriel was almost taken aback by the teasing he was getting. But he guessed if he was honest, he would have to admit he had been spending a lot of his spare moments thinking about, talking to – and inside of – Nicole.

  "I haven't been texting her all day. She went out earlier, so I was checking on her, and she asked me to let her know when I was done."

  Q smirked and said, "Mm-hmm."

  "She just wanted to know where I was—"

  Jonny made a snapping whip sound.

  "—because I was supposed to meet her at this bar she was at if I made it out in time—"

  Q and Jonny made the snapping whip sound simultaneously. Then they looked at each other, pointing two fingers at their eyes and then at each other in a back and forth motion, as if to say, We're on the same page.

  "Okay, you have one more time to say I'm whipped and then I'm whipping some ass." Gabe sent a warning look around the table.

  Chase smiled around the eggs filling his mouth. Nuke stared at the table and nibbled on the inside of his cheek. Q took a gulp of his orange juice, and his white counterpart, Jonny, bit down on his lip and stared at Q like he could barely contain a laugh.

  Gabe sighed and turned back to his phone. As soon as he looked away a loud simultaneous whipping sound circled the booth. He laughed and shook his head as the sound of the guys squealing, "Anything for you, Nicole!" and "Nicole Langley rocks my world!" in high pitched girlie voices that filled the diner.

  "Man, fuck you bitches!" he said over a barely contained laugh. "While, I'm getting some quality lovin' tonight you're gonna be circle
jerking each other, so I don't even want to hear it!"

  "This is a public eatery, Gabriel," Jonny said in a mock serious tone. "Don't say 'bitches' and 'circle jerk'. Quite frankly I'm appalled at your lack of mann—"

  Jonny was interrupted by a piece of scrambled egg slapping him in the face. Everyone was quiet and still for a long moment, watching the egg slowly drip down Jonny's nose, dangle on his pursed upper lip, and then splat onto the table. This started a rather immature but tame food fight, mostly because Gabe felt bad for the waitress, and Chase threatened to stab them all with his fork if they touched his food. All of this because Gabriel was quite possibly, and happily, pussy whipped.

  If it had been any other girl he probably would have saved any texting or calling for when the guys weren't around so no one would start thinking he was sprung. But when Nicole texted him again he still texted her right back, and smiled even as his friends continued to rag on him and taunt him about all the random pussy he was going to be missing out on. He wasn't really fazed by their goading. He knew they really loved Nicole, and he was willing to bet if they had what he had waiting for him, they'd be more than a little whipped too.

  So when she texted him with the words, ‘Looking forward to tonite’, he typed back, ‘Ditto, sweetheart’.

  More than you know…

  Chapter 8

  "Wow," Gabriel said, standing in Nicole's doorway feeling two-thirds dumbstruck and one-third pissed. "What... are you wearing?"

  Nicole’s hip swayed to the side and she placed a hand on it, staring up at him with enough attitude to rival Jackie's. "It's called a dress, Gabriel. Girls usually wear them to parties like the one we're going to."

  "I know what a dress is, little girl," he practically growled, his eyes roving over her body with lasciviously. "But where's the rest of yours?"

  She came closer to him, tilting her face up to place a teasing kiss on his lips.

  "I'll take that as a compliment. I think," she said with a laugh.