Risking it All: An M/M, rockstar, second chance romance (Kingston Brothers Book 4)

by Isabel Lucero

  Elijah nods, still grinning. “I’m so proud of you. Mom and Dad would be, too.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  He pulls me into a hug, and we stand in the middle of my room for a couple minutes while a few tears roll down my cheeks.

  When I step back, I wipe away the tears and clear my throat. “Uh, I have to go tell Ali.”

  “He doesn’t know you’re leaving tomorrow?” he questions, aghast.

  I shake my head. “I didn’t know how to tell him.”

  Elijah frowns. “Waiting till the last minute probably wasn’t the best idea.”

  “I know, but I didn’t want. . .” I don’t finish, because I can’t explain it to my brother without giving away what me and Ali are to each other. “I don’t know. I’ll be back, though. It’s not like I’m leaving forever.”

  Elijah pins me with another look that says, you know better.

  Ali opens the door and lets me in with a smile on his face. “Hey, I just got off the phone with Lexie, and she invited us to her birthday dinner next weekend. You’re free, right?”

  He turns around and walks back into his living room, leaving me having to tell him my news right away.

  “Um, well, no.”

  Ali spins around. “No?”

  I take a deep breath and blow it out. “I need to talk to you.”

  His expression instantly morphs into one of apprehension. “What?”

  After I sit on the couch, I wait for him to do the same. He slowly makes his way around, never taking his eyes off me.

  “I’m leaving town tomorrow.”

  Ali’s face doesn’t change for a few seconds, like the information hasn’t quite hit his brain yet. “What? For how long?”

  I chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t know. Probably a few months.”

  “A few months? What for?”

  I pop my knuckles in a nervous gesture. “I didn’t know how to tell you, but me and the guys, we got a deal. We have to fly to New York to record an album.”

  Ali’s eyes bulge. “What? How long have you known this?”

  I scoot forward on the couch and reach for his hand. “When we came off the road last time, we had already left music with a label in New York. We had met up with someone there and talked a little, but nothing was set in stone. We just had to wait to see what happened.”

  “Since you came home? That was months ago!”

  “But I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’ve left music with other labels before and heard nothing back. It was just another shot in the dark.”

  “When did you know for sure?”

  “It’s been a few months, I guess,” I say, feeling like shit.

  “Months.” He snatches his hand away and stands up. “You’ve known for months that there was a strong possibility you could be signed to a label, and then knew for sure that you were about to leave, and yet you decided to keep all of that to yourself. Am I hearing this right?”

  “When I found out for sure, I didn’t want to ruin what we had going on. I wanted us to enjoy our time together without worrying about having an expiration date.”

  He scoffs. “An expiration date? So, we’re done for sure? That’s what you’re saying? You going off to New York to record an album means the end of us?”

  I stand up and go to him. “No, I just meant I didn’t want either of us to be so preoccupied with me leaving that we didn’t enjoy every second we had together. I’m coming back, Ali. Once this album is done, I’ll be back.”

  Ali shakes his head. “And if you’re successful?”

  “I’ll always come back to you.”

  “You didn’t even tell me you got signed. I’m sure you celebrated that, and you left me out of it, Kingston. That hurts.”

  “Ali, I don’t know what’s about to happen, but I do know that I’ll always want what we’ve always planned. I want us no matter what.”

  He gently touches my cheek as he stares into my eyes. “You’re about to be one of the biggest celebrities in the world. I’ve heard you guys, and you’re all so talented. You’re about to be everywhere. There’s no way you’ll have the time to come back to little ol’ Gaspar, and you certainly won’t have time to have a gay lover.”

  I circle his wrist with my fingers and pull him into me. “You’re so much more to me than a gay lover.”

  Ali plants a soft kiss on my lips before stepping back. “Not anymore.”

  17

  Alejandro

  Present Day

  “Well, looks like the movie’s over,” I say, noticing people getting up.

  “There was a movie?” Merrick jokes.

  “You were too busy running your mouth.”

  “Well, it’s been a long time. Just trying to catch up.”

  Merrick gathers our trash and walks it over to the bin about twelve feet away. I’m just getting to my feet when I notice a couple girls approach him.

  He’s been recognized.

  As I get closer, he poses with them for a selfie, smiles that adorable fucking smile, and says something that makes them laugh.

  “Still charming as ever, huh?”

  His eyes find mine. “You tell me.”

  I shake my head and playfully smack him on the shoulder. “Come on, rock star. Those girls are about to post those photos to social media, and everyone’s gonna come swarming.”

  After we’re in the SUV, he just sits behind the wheel, not making a move to start it up.

  “What’s up?”

  Merrick shifts in his seat and faces me. “I don’t want to take you home yet.”

  I glance at my watch. “It’s only nine o’clock, and it’s not like I have curfew anymore. What do you wanna do?”

  That was the wrong question to ask, because when Merrick looks at me, his eyes are hooded, and nothing but lust-filled thoughts rest behind them. When he looks at my mouth, I unconsciously lick my lips.

  “I don’t know. I don’t care, really. Nothing too public would be nice, though.”

  “Well, I don’t know. We could just drive.”

  I think briefly about saying we could go to my place, but that would definitely send a message that I’m not trying to send. I can tell Merrick’s got a lot of things on his mind, and I can try to be his friend again, but I’m not willing to put my heart on the line anymore.

  “That’s fine,” he says, turning the key to crank the engine.

  Merrick drives through our small town, and we reminisce about our childhood.

  “Remember when we were parked in that little lot,” he says, pointing out a small spot near another park. “And we got so fucking high in the car, and then a cop pulled up?”

  I laugh. “Oh, yeah! Shit, I was scared out of my mind.”

  “I remember,” he says with a laugh. “I was so paranoid. I didn’t know if leaving would bring attention to us, but didn’t really want to stay there either. The car was smoked out!”

  “Good thing that other car got his attention first.”

  “Yeah, ’cause the windows were steamed up and the car was rockin’.”

  “Teenagers are so stupid, man.”

  “Aw, man. They closed down Box O Tacos?” he says, noticing the boarded up windows. “They had the best fucking Strawberry Mountain Dew and cheese sticks.”

  “Wrong. They had the best Strawberry Sierra Mist, and you would always pull the cheese sticks open and only eat the cheese, like a fuckin’ weirdo.”

  “Hey, man. Don’t judge me.”

  After driving for another ten minutes or so, he pulls up to our old high school and puts the vehicle in park.

  “So many memories here.”

  “Yeah,” I agree. “There’s that table we used to sit on at lunch.”

  He chews on his lip, fighting off a laugh. “That fucking table.” Before I can ask what he means, he goes on. “You see the alcove to the music building?”

  “I see it.”

  “That’s where we met.”

  “What? Really?” I ask.

>   “You don’t remember?”

  “I thought we met in English.”

  “No. I was coming out of choir, but it was raining its ass off. I mean, you’d think we were in the middle of a hurricane or something, so I stayed in the alcove, looking at my schedule and map of the campus, trying to figure out where I needed to go. Right before I was about to make a run for it, you came darting around the building and into the alcove with me. You were drenched, looking like a drowned rat.” He laughs, shaking his head. “You looked up at me and gave me a lopsided grin and said, ‘The weatherman said there’s a slight chance of rain today.’ and I started cracking up. I don’t even know why I thought it was so funny, but I kept thinking about it the rest of the day.”

  “You were so bundled up,” I say, remembering. “You had a hood on and it hung low over your forehead. That’s probably why I didn’t recognize you when I saw you in English.”

  “And that picnic table,” he says, staring at it with a small grin on his face. “It was on that table that I realized I wanted to be more than your friend.”

  He cuts his eyes at me nervously, gauging my reaction.

  “Tell me.”

  “We were both sitting on the tabletop with our feet on the bench. You were talking to someone else but I was staring at you the whole time. I watched that dimple appear when you laughed, and noticed every time you’d lick your lips. I remember thinking how cute you were, and then thinking, why do I think he’s cute?

  “You shifted and leaned back on the table, and our hands touched. Your eyes flew to mine, and there was a fraction of a second where we just looked at each other. I thought maybe all of my thoughts were written on my forehead and you knew what I was thinking, but you just murmured a sorry and turned away.

  “That was when I realized I didn’t just look at you like a friend, because I wanted your hand back on mine. I wanted to kiss your lips to see if they were as soft as they looked. And then every time we were back on that table, I hoped and waited for another brief touch—a pinky, knee, thigh, anything.”

  I can’t help myself. It’s like my hand has a mind of its own as I reach over the console and grab his. I squeeze and he squeezes back, giving me a grin.

  My heart soars. Merrick fucking Kingston is going to be the death of me.

  18

  Merrick

  Present Day

  Cillian free falls onto my bed. “Let’s make a deal. You stay at my house, and I’ll sleep here a few nights.”

  “No, thanks,” I say with a laugh.

  “But there’s maids and room service.”

  “Exactly.”

  “You act like Midge isn’t the one cleaning your house and making your food,” Royce adds, sitting in the chair near the window.

  “Hey, I’m the one who cooks,” he says. “But yeah, she does most of the cleaning.”

  “How’s the wedding planning going?” I ask Royce, nudging Cill’s leg out of the way so I can sit on my bed.

  “Good. London’s basically in charge of all the decisions, so that makes my part easy.”

  I laugh. “Nice.”

  He smiles. “Nah, she asks my opinion on stuff, but I really want her to have everything she’s ever dreamed of. We’ve settled on turquoise and yellow for colors, which seems to fit a nice summer wedding. Yellow flowers, turquoise dresses for the bridesmaids, and turquoise ties for the guys.”

  “And it’s gonna be outside?” I ask.

  “Yep. Our property.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “Kind of stressful,” he admits. “Vendors, lighting, decorations, seating, and a whole bunch of other shit to figure out, but it’ll be worth it.”

  “I told Midge we should just fly to Vegas and get married there,” Cill says.

  “And what did she say about that?” I ask.

  “She gave me a look that said enough.”

  We all crack up.

  “So, whatcha been up to since being back in town?” Cill asks, sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

  “Not much. It’s only been a week. I saw Ali and Liliana. Lili invited me over to her mom’s house for lunch so I could see her baby. Then me and Ali went to this movie in the park thing that his mom told us about. Since then, nothing really. I’ve seen a couple other friends, and I’ve hung out with Elijah and Nova.”

  “Midge has been wanting to do that movie in the park thing. We’ve only gone once, but it’s been a while,” Cill says.

  “How’s Alejandro?” Royce asks. “I thought y’all had a falling out or something.”

  I shrug. “Eh, we did, but we’re working it out.”

  “That’s good. Y’all were really close back in the day. I don’t think I’ve kept many friendships from high school,” Royce says.

  “Yeah, ’cause you’re a shit friend,” Cill jokes.

  “Fuck off.”

  “So, is this shit getting to you yet?” Cill asks.

  “What’s that?” I ask.

  “You know, being famous, losing privacy, always traveling, partying too much.”

  I chuckle. “Ah, well, it’s not too bad yet. The privacy thing sucks, but what can you do? That comes with the job. The traveling was nice for the first couple years. Now I feel like I’ve seen everything I’ve wanted to see. Being here for these past seven days has been amazing. I’m not expected to wake up at five in the morning to hop on a plane, do a show, and get on another plane. Not that I hate it, though, but it’s been a lot of work. I’m glad we’re at a point where we can slow down a bit.”

  “And partying too much? Nobody’s developed any habits, have they?” Royce asks.

  “Nah, I don’t think so. I mean, we definitely party and drink, but it hasn’t gotten to the point where anybody needs rehab. I hope we don’t ever get there.”

  “That’s good,” Royce says.

  We’re all quiet for several seconds before Cill opens his mouth and brings up the last thing I want anybody to bring up.

  “So about these girls. . .”

  He and Royce laugh while I pull my shirt over my face.

  “Do we have to talk about it?” I murmur.

  “Uh, fuck yes! You conveniently forget to answer my questions when I text you, so yes, we’re talking about it. Are you actually sleeping with all these women? I mean, I know the tabloids can be full of shit, but you have been photographed in clubs, restaurants, hotels with a lot of women.”

  “Is our baby brother a womanizer?” Royce laughs. “Or what did that one magazine call him?”

  “Philanderer,” Cill answers.

  Royce laughs. “Yeah, a philanderer.”

  “Jesus,” I breathe. “I’ve been with a tiny percentage of the women they’ve photographed me with. The rest is bullshit.”

  “Shit, if I was single, famous, and rich, I’d probably sleep with more than a tiny percentage,” Cill says. “Don’t tell Midge I said that.”

  “And you’d probably have STDs with your dick falling off, and sixty-two chicks saying they’re pregnant with your baby,” Royce says.

  “I’m just sayin’,” Cill says with a shrug.

  I shake my head at them. It’s probably time for me to tell them the truth, but I wonder if I should talk to Elijah first. I think he may already suspect something, and he’s always been the one to give me advice. At the age of eleven, he became a father-figure, so I always seek his approval first.

  Cill gets up from the bed and stretches. “Well, it was good hanging out with you today. I gotta get home and work on this painting. It feels so fucking good to have a studio space at my house now,” he adds.

  When him and Midge bought a house together, they got one with a huge backyard and erected a large shed back there for him to use as a studio.

  Royce gets up. “Yeah, I’m gonna head home, too. We’re gonna see you at Elijah’s tomorrow, right?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  After we hug goodbye, I drop down to my bed and turn the TV on. It’s only eight o’clock, and it
’s a Saturday. I’m not used to being alone and having nothing to do. While I’m enjoying the break, some stuff takes some getting used to.

  Plus, I can’t stop thinking about how Ali’s in the same town. I’ve given him space since last weekend. I haven’t seen him at all since I dropped him off at home after our drive.

  I bring out my phone and text Lili, asking for Ali’s number. She quickly sends it to me with a happy face emoji.

  Me: Hey, wanna get together tonight?

  Ali: Who is this?

  Me: It’s Merrick.

  Ali: Oh my gawwwwd! Merrick Kingston? Yes, he wants to get together tonight. And if he doesn’t, I do.

  I look at my phone with a furrow between my brows. What?

  Ali: Sorry about that. It’s me now. My friend had my phone. Please ignore him.

  Me: Oh. I was really confused for a second.

  Ali: Yeah, sorry. I’m out with my friends right now. I’m in Chaparral.

  Me: Oh. Okay. Maybe another time?

  I don’t hear back from him right away, so I settle in for a quiet night in my hotel room.

  19

  Alejandro

  Present Day

  “Stop picking up my phone,” I tell Jordy, sliding it to the other side of me.

  “What? You were in the bathroom.”

  “That doesn’t mean you get to answer my texts.”

  He shrugs. “I thought you were getting a booty call. I was being a good wingman.”

  “Being a good wingman means offering yourself up?”

  He laughs. “Okay, let’s not distract from the real fucking juicy news. Merrick Kingston is texting you. You! What? Why is this happening? And why haven’t you texted him back yet?”

  I sigh, take a big gulp of my beer, then put it down. “If I tell you, you have to swear you’re not gonna tell the guys when they get here. I mean it, Jordy. I know you’re a gossip queen, but I don’t feel like fielding a million questions tonight.”