Risking it All: An M/M, rockstar, second chance romance (Kingston Brothers Book 4)

by Isabel Lucero

  “Whenever you’re ready.”

  He licks his lips then his eyes go to the door behind me and he shifts back. “The guys are here.”

  I spin around and lift my hand in the air, and the few people who are in here turn their heads and start getting excited. A couple people pull out their phones to take pictures or record videos, but nobody rushes up.

  Sky, Jay, and Carlos join us. Sky sits next to me while Carlos slides in next to Ali, and Jay grabs a chair from a nearby table and sits in it backwards at the edge of the table.

  “What’re y’all up to tonight?” Sky asks, elbowing me in the side.

  I look across to Ali and say, “Nothing. Just hanging out.”

  “Cool. We’re probably gonna chill here for a while and drink, then I was gonna head over to this chick’s house. You remember Megan Appleman from high school? She has a nice place up in Jonquil Park and is having a little party.” Sky grins. “There’s gonna be some hot girls there if you’re interested. You should’ve joined me in the Caribbean. Dude, chicks galore, and they were topless like ninety percent of the day.”

  I snort. “Right, so I could’ve been photographed right next to you as you jumped into the water completely naked? No thanks.”

  “I thought you said only one dick was allowed on that island,” Jay says.

  “I can change my mind.”

  “Where did you two go?” I ask, looking at Carlos and Jay.

  “I spent time with Tish,” Jay says. “But we broke up.”

  Sky’s laugh fills the room. “Yeah, tell them why.”

  Jay shoots Sky a dirty look before meeting my curious gaze. “She was fucking someone from another band.”

  “Man, I told you that chick was a groupie,” Sky laughs.

  “My girl is in Florida with her family, so I went there, then I joined Sky on his party island,” Carlos says.

  “Anyway, so you comin’ or what?” Sky looks at Ali. “You can come too.”

  “Oh, that’s okay,” Ali says with a laugh. “I don’t think it’s my kind of scene.”

  “Why? Because you’re gay? There’s gonna be dudes there, too,” Sky states.

  “Leave him alone,” I say. “He doesn’t want to go.”

  Sky pushes his black hair out of his face and shrugs. “All right, well, let’s start drinking.”

  An hour goes by and we’re all enjoying the drinks and having a good time telling Ali stories about stuff that happened on the road. The bar gets a little busier, and a few people stop by and ask for pictures, but for the most part, people have kept their distance.

  “Oh shit, I almost forgot the best story,” Jay says. “We were in. . .shit, I don’t remember. Australia? I don’t know, anyway, after the show’s over, there’s some girls hanging around near our dressing room, so Sky pulls a few in.”

  “You got two for yourself, so don’t make me out to be the deviant,” Sky adds.

  “Shut up, let me finish the story. Anyway, Sky has three chicks hanging all over him, and he came over to me to see if I wanted one of his chicks because he said he was too tired to fuck all three of them.”

  Sky rolls his eyes as we all crack up.

  “I was like, dude, I already have two! Go ask Carlos.”

  “So you were too tired to fuck three, too?” Ali questions with a grin.

  “I’m a drummer. My arms were already like Jell-O.”

  “Right,” I say with a smile.

  “Anyway, Carlos was actually sick, so he was already getting ready to head to the hotel and crash, so that left Merrick.”

  My heart skips a beat. I don’t remember this night, and I have no idea what Jay’s about to reveal to everyone.

  Ali’s eyes find mine, and he looks almost as nervous as I feel.

  “I watch Sky make his way to Merrick, who’s already drinking out of the bottle of vodka. Were you having a bad night that night?” he asks, looking at me.

  I shrug. “I don’t even remember this night. When was this?”

  “Shit, I don’t know. Three years ago? Anyway, Merrick’s getting wasted, and Sky goes and convinces Merrick to take one of these chicks off his hands. We stay there for like an hour before we all pile into the limo and go to the hotel. Merrick is so fucking drunk already. He’s talking to this girl and keeps calling her Alley, even though her name was like Zia or some weird shit with a Z.

  “Before we’re even out of the limo, this chick is all in Merrick’s lap, trying to take his pants off to do God knows what,” he says with a laugh. “I’m trying to focus on my own girls, but Merrick just busts out and says, ‘You’re not gonna be able to get my dick hard. You’re just not my type.’ And this chick burst into tears. She was probably a little drunk herself, but she’s crying in the limo while Merrick zips his pants back up and keeps drinking out of the bottle.”

  I shake my head. “There’s no way that’s the best story you have.”

  “Pretty memorable, though.”

  “And because she was all sad, I lost one of my girls, because she had to be a good friend and console her,” Sky says, rolling his eyes.

  I choke out a laugh. “I honestly don’t remember that.”

  “Why were you calling her Alley? Like an alley cat?” Carlos asks with a laugh.

  I shake my head, but I can only imagine I was thinking of Ali.

  “I’m gonna go get another drink,” Carlos says, sliding out of the booth.

  “Me too,” Jay says, getting out of his seat to join him.

  “I couldn’t imagine living this life you guys live,” Ali says, shaking his head. “Seems unreal.”

  “It’s pretty crazy, but I’m glad I got this guy by my side,” Sky says, elbowing me. “Keeps me grounded.”

  Ali makes a face and laughs. “Seems like you two just get in trouble together. I’ve seen the pictures.”

  Sky looks at me then back at Ali. “Yeah, but I can admit I’m the bad influence. Merrick’s just a good friend. You should know that.”

  Me and Ali meet each other’s gaze, and Ali’s lips curl up into a small grin. “He’s all right.”

  Sky laughs then says, “I’ll be back.”

  “They’re good guys,” Ali says. “Sky seems to really like you.”

  “I’m not his type,” I joke.

  Ali shakes his head. “What’s up with that story?”

  I shrug. “I honestly don’t remember.”

  “Three years ago I had just moved to Chaparral,” he says. “And changed my phone number.”

  My eyes widen. “Oh shit, yeah. I came home hoping to get in touch with you. You always ignored my calls, but when I called that time it said it was disconnected. Then I heard you moved and assumed it was somewhere far away. I think I was just angry and sad and felt like I had lost all hope.”

  Ali frowns and I instantly reach across the table and touch his hand. “Don’t feel bad. It’s okay now. Everything’s fine.”

  He eyes my hand and I pull it back.

  Sky slides back in next to me, giving us a weird look. “Y’all good?”

  “Oh, yeah. We drinkin’ or what?”

  Me and Ali never get the chance to be alone. All of us end up staying in King’s Tavern until it closes, even Sky who initially wanted to go to that girl’s party. We ended up getting way too drunk and having too good a time to think about anything else.

  Tomorrow, though. Tomorrow should be a big night.

  32

  Alejandro

  Present Day

  “So, where’s you beau?” Jordy asks, his eyes twinkling.

  “Do people actually still use that word?”

  “I do,” he says with a shrug.

  “Anyway, Merrick is with his band, or his brothers. I’m not really sure. We aren’t together, you know?”

  “Is he still coming out with us tonight?” he asks.

  I slip my wallet in my back pocket. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “Is he meeting you here or meeting us wherever we’re gonna be? Should we hit up th
e gay bars before he joins us? I doubt he’s ready to be in those.”

  I spray some cologne on my neck before turning and looking at Jordy who’s perched on my bed. “He said he’d text me, so we can head out now.”

  We get in my car and drive down to Prince Street and pull into the parking lot of Wingin’ It, which is just a local version of a Buffalo Wild Wings. Dennis and Charlie are already standing near the door waiting for us.

  “’Bout time, I’m starving,” Dennis says, opening the door.

  “You could’ve gone in already,” I tell him.

  “They won’t seat us unless our whole party is here. Now hurry up.”

  “Someone’s hangry,” Jordy teases.

  Once we’re seated and have ordered appetizers and drinks, Charlie asks about Merrick. “I thought Jordy said he was gonna come out tonight. I was looking forward to some eye candy.”

  “What am I?” Jordy questions, affronted.

  I roll my eyes. “He’s busy, but he’ll text me later and I’ll let him know where we are.”

  Dennis isn’t talkative until the food comes. Once he’s eaten a few wings and onion rings, he’s back to his normal self. “So, where we headed after we’re done here?”

  “Text Merrick and see what’s goin’ on,” Jordy says. “We can hit up the usual spots if he won’t be joining us for a while. If he’s about to head over, we can go somewhere he’ll be more comfortable.”

  “It’s not about comfort,” I say.

  “I know, but just text him.”

  Me: Hey, are you gonna make it out here soon? Jordy’s trying to make plans.

  I put my phone down and finish my food. As we’re waiting for the bill, I check my phone and don’t find a response from him.

  “Let’s just head to Mad Minnie’s,” I say.

  Jordy gives me a look, but surprisingly he doesn’t say anything.

  The four of us go on about our night like we usually do when we decide to bar hop, but I continue to check my phone every ten minutes.

  Merrick never mentioned that he might not be able to make it, but I try not to think too much into him not responding to me. Maybe he’s busy. He might be deep in a writing session with Sky, or preoccupied with his family. I would’ve thought he would at least let me know if something came up, but it’s not like it’s too late yet.

  Jordy keeps eyeing me as I check my phone, and I’m sure he’s already planning his I told you so speech.

  At our second bar of the night, I check the time, noticing it’s already nearing eleven o’clock. I wonder if another text would be too clingy, but it’s been hours. Maybe I’ll just keep it casual.

  Me: Hey, we’re at the second bar of the night. I probably won’t stay out too late. You gonna be able to come?

  While Dennis and Charlie are dancing, Jordy sidles up to me and bumps my shoulder with his. “You okay?”

  “Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “He’s not responding?”

  I shake my head. “It’s okay. I’m sure he’s busy.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “Wouldn’t he text to let me know though?”

  Jordy frowns. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m not really sure why I got my hopes up.”

  “Because you like him.”

  “I shouldn’t have let him in so soon. I was worried this would happen.”

  “What’s happening exactly?”

  I rest my elbows against the bar top as I stare at the group of swaying bodies in front of us. “He’s making me fall head over heels again, just to disappear.”

  Jordy sighs. “Well, it’s only been a few hours. I wouldn’t say he disappeared.”

  “I haven’t talked to him since yesterday. He could be in New York or fucking Paris for all I know. It’s not like he has the best track record for filling me in on things.”

  “I’d give him some more time. Don’t count him out yet.”

  I cock my head at him and narrow my eyes. “What’s gotten into you? You were just telling me to be careful, and now you’re Team Merrick?”

  Jordy looks away from me and focuses on the people dancing. “I just want to believe in true love.”

  Jordy doesn’t have the best dating record. He seems to always choose the guys who aren’t ready to be out or the ones who don’t want a relationship.

  I nudge him. “Fuck it. Let’s get drunk, okay?”

  He grins. “Yes, please. Drinks on you?”

  “Whatever,” I say, spinning around to get the bartender’s attention.

  I don’t check my phone the rest of the time we’re out. When I finally stumble into my house, I shove my jeans off so I can flop into the bed, and my phone falls on the floor. That’s when I see the screen again. It’s free of any messages.

  33

  Merrick

  Present Day

  When I wake up, I can barely turn my head. My neck and shoulders are stiff as a board. I unfold myself off a small couch and look around to see the rest of the guys sprawled out in equally uncomfortable looking positions.

  Me and the guys ended up crashing in this small studio Sky rented out. He wanted to put a few songs together, so from about nine to two in the morning, we were re-writing songs, putting them to music, and recording a couple.

  I make my way to Sky who’s sitting in a rolling chair with his head resting on his folded arms on top of the table.

  “Sky,” I say, hitting his arm. “Sky, wake up.”

  He groans and lifts his head. “Oh, fuck. Ow.” Sky rubs the back of his neck as he glances up at me. “What?”

  “Where’s the phones?”

  Sky has a rule that we have to put our phones away when we come to work, mostly because Carlos wouldn’t focus because he was always on his phone.

  “By the door. There’s a big vase on the table. They’re in there.”

  “All right, well I’m gonna head out. I need to shower and head to Elijah’s.”

  He holds his fist out for me to hit. “Good session last night, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah.” I turn to leave then spin back around. “You aren’t gonna leave town soon are you?”

  Sky cranes his head from shoulder to shoulder while he grimaces. “Uh, probably tomorrow or the next day. I think we’re gonna need to be in New York at the end of next week, so I wanna fit some more fun into my time off before I have to deal with Evan.”

  “But we’re not due to have the album done for a while, right? And we just got off a long ass tour, I can’t imagine them wanting to do it again already. What the hell does he want?”

  Sky shrugs. “You got me.”

  “All right then, I wanna talk to you before you leave. All of you,” I say.

  Sky spins around in his chair to face me, his brows furrowing slightly. “Do I need to be worried?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  He cocks his head. “Doesn’t sound promising, Kingston.”

  “I’m not trying to quit or anything,” I say with a forced laugh.

  “Well, shit. You should’ve started with that. Text me whenever.”

  Before I leave, I grab my phone and then head out the back door of the building and jump into my car. I plug in the phone and start the car. When the screen lights up, I read through all my texts.

  Fuck. I forgot yesterday was the day I was supposed to hang out with Ali and his friends. We never talked about it again after Jordy invited me. I assumed Ali would remind me, but I was already in the studio without my phone when he texted saying they were out.

  I send him a quick message before I start the drive to my hotel.

  Me: Hey, sorry I missed your messages. I was holed up with the guys and didn’t have my phone. Call me.

  I get to the hotel, order some room service, and take a shower. Once I’m dressed, I grab my breakfast burrito to go and eat it in the car as I drive to Elijah’s.

  Ali still hasn’t responded.

  Elijah looks slightly confused when he opens the door for me, because I
didn’t tell him I was coming over beforehand.

  “Hey, what’s up?” he asks, stepping back to let me in.

  “Not much. Sorry I didn’t call first.”

  He scoffs. “You don’t have to call first. This will always be your home. You okay? Want some coffee?”

  “Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.”

  In the kitchen, I sit down at the island and wait for him to finish pouring the coffee. He puts a mug next to me and chooses to stand across from me on the other side of the island as he sips his.

  “So, what’s goin’ on?”

  I take a deep breath. “I’m going to tell the guys soon. Maybe tomorrow.”

  He nods. “That’s good, right?”

  “I’ve had a few opportunities to tell them already, but when I open my mouth to say it, I freeze up. It’s not that I think they’re gonna hate me or anything. I don’t think any of them are homophobes, but I worry they’re gonna be concerned about the band’s public image. Which I can’t blame them for. What if I tell them and they would prefer I keep it to myself for the sake of the band?”

  Elijah takes a sip before putting it on the counter. “You’ve been friends with these guys for a long time. Almost fifteen years now. Do you think that’s how they’ll feel?”

  I sigh, shrugging one shoulder. “I don’t think so, but you can never be too sure. I was going to tell them last night, but we were so caught up with making music, I just didn’t.”

  “I think they’ll react better than you think, and I understand your reservations, but you have to ask yourself this: Is it worth the risk? Are you willing to risk potentially losing your friends and fans so you can be yourself?”

  I let out a short laugh. “Isn’t it ridiculous to even have to ask a question like that?”

  He nods. “Yes, it is.”

  I rotate the mug, staring into the black liquid as I mull over my thoughts.

  “What does Alejandro think of all this?” Elijah asks.

  My head snaps up. “What do you mean?”