We Belong

by Evie Bennet

  Even though I could feel him against my rocking fists, I wasn’t sure I could handle everything. Reed was not a monster. He was my rock. Still, some of those memories might have cracked me open. Scooting back, he clasped my hands and kissed them open. The sweaty burn faded to warm, throbbing, comforting pressure as he placed my scarred palms on his perfect cheeks.

  How much bad blood was in me? How many people’s lives would I stain?

  Reed’s eyes flashed with passion, the darkness in his expression silencing the horrible voice in my head.

  “I will hunt down anyone who tries to hurt you and bring you their skin if that would make you happy. You are that important to me, baby. You’re so much braver than I am. You left. You left. You’re here and you have a fucking empire and you built a home. You’re safe here. I love you. Please. You’re okay. You’re so fucking strong, baby. No one’s gonna stop you now.”

  No one was going to force me to do anything anymore. Not talk. Not cry. Not stay silent and burn.

  I felt like I was full of impossible contradictions of tenderness and raw emotion.

  I looked at Reed’s determined expression, his clenched, throbbing jaw.

  He’d leave if I asked him to, but he’d never let me go. As psychotic as that might seem to someone else, it felt good.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I let myself tremble. He shifted beside me, his hands encompassing my own so I couldn’t tear into them. He steadied me, warmed me and loved me.

  When I opened my eyes, the blurry image of Reed on his knees looking up at me with desperate reverence was almost too much.

  I was going to marry him.

  We were safe within the realm we built for each other and ourselves.

  “There was an opportunity to get away without implicating anyone else and I took it. When my father passed away, he left me almost everything he had. We were a lot closer than him and Amy. It was a pretty unstable situation right after he passed, family accusing each other of stealing and lying and they started trying to send people away. Long story short, I took my share of the inheritance and ran to a town that seemed like it had a place for me. I haven’t been back since.”

  That was enough of the story, wasn’t it? That was enough.

  “Betty.” Seemingly at a loss for words, Reed dipped his face and kissed my wrists, cradling them in his hands like he could seal his love in my veins by being close to me. A violent straggly tingle erupted under my skin, threatening to make me shiver. “I’ll protect you now. We have each other. Just tell me anything and everything that might hurt you and I’ll—”

  “I know. You can tell me anything, too.” I slid down onto my knees to join him, ignoring the prickle of debris through my jeans. “But we don’t have to look back to know that we don’t want to hurt each other. There isn’t a future I’d willingly live where my life or my choices hurt you.”

  “Just don’t leave me. Please. We need to do this together. Love me.”

  “I do, Reed. I will. Forever.”

  When we kissed, my heart ached and continued to throb until we weren’t thinking about anything except how good it was to be loved without needing to live on our knees.

  Reed borrowed Chewy’s burner phone, a simple thing with no apps that would probably be destroyed within a few months.

  “You ready?”

  I nodded, rolling my fingertips along my scars as the telltale ring began.

  “Knope Construction, how can I help you?”

  “Hey, Frank?” I felt like a shy sixteen-year-old again, my ponytail swaying as I tilted my face towards my shoulder.

  His voice sounded gravelly and warm, like the first sip of morning coffee. “This is he. What can I help you with?”

  “A long time ago, you told me to see someone for who they are, and not who they could be. I just wanted to let you know I’ve found someone who does the same with me. We found each other, actually, and I wanted to let you know that and thank you for helping me get to a place where I could appreciate that.”

  There was a half-beat of silence. “Uh, wow! Congratulations. Happy to help, though I’m not really sure what I did.” He probably wouldn’t even remember me and was just being nice. “What’s he like? I’m guessing it’s a he.”

  “He is amazing.” Reed squeezed my hip with a cheeky grin. “We’re living together.” I chuckled as Reed pressed a kiss to my shoulder, unable to stop the flutter of warmth in my chest. “And really happy. I—we’re getting married.”

  “Wow!” He did sound a bit more enthusiastic as opposed to gobsmacked on that one. “Congratulations! Again! Holy cow! How are you, Betty? How’d you meet the fiancé?”

  He was rooting for me! He remembered me!

  “It’s not really important. I just thought I should have one person from my old life who knew, or who cared, or even… I don’t know.” Standing up, I started pacing the room, while Reed watched me bounce from one end to the other. “I know we haven’t talked in a while and you don’t need to say yes, and I don’t need anyone to do this, but we were talking, and I can’t really imagine anyone else giving me away.”

  “I’m sorry, you mean me?”

  The tangle of excitement in my chest deflated.

  “Yeah. If…”

  “I’d be honored as long as I can get covered at work! Where and when is it?”

  “Three weeks.” Reed shot his eyebrows up at that and I wasn’t sure what to do other than raise an awkward hand at my impulse. Why not that amount of time? It was close enough I wouldn’t go crazy waiting and far away enough people still had time to plan.

  “Wow.”

  “Is that not enough time?”

  “I don’t know, where would I be headed?”

  “Around Vernon Hills, New York.”

  Better to be safe than sorry with the exact location, I thought.

  “I’ll be there, kiddo. Send me the information.”

  I didn’t know if I thanked him properly or just laugh-cried into a smile, but I felt like the call ended on a good note, regardless. There was this strange sense of relief that I could have that kind of mentor back in my life. Reed enveloped me in his arms and let me get it out. It took a few minutes before the tears subsided and I could hold him without clinging or trembling. He hoisted me up by the waist so that we were almost dancing, his neck scrunched back so we didn’t bump noses when I smiled up at him.

  “Three weeks.”

  “Yeah.” I chuckled, still surprised at myself. “Is that okay?”

  “Long as we have forever.”

  I hummed our song and swayed in his arms, feet barely touching the ground.

  13

  Luck

  West Ridge was small enough that I still caught Reed in random places and looked for his motorcycle anywhere I went. The accidental sight of him incited a giddy eagerness I couldn’t quite explain and had no urge to suppress. We lived together, but it was still… he was still good, like spotting a rainbow or hearing our song outside of the garage. I edged along the sidewalk, peering in through shop windows until I spotted him at the bakery, alternating his attention from the glass cases to a menu hung above the cash register.

  We’d been working on modifying the muffin recipe. Maybe he was surprising me with something to taste test.

  Everything down to the way his jeans sat made my knees bend anxiously with the urge to run, climb, hold, and pray. It was sweet, watching him read, even something as simple as a menu. I loved the way his finger came up to touch his lips at a particularly interesting thought. His mind seemed as deep and mysterious as the ocean, no matter how well I got to know him. There was a gentleness to the way his chin sloped into his neck, the way his hair nestled along his ear with the bandana keeping it in place.

  I loved him.

  Without realizing it, I’d put my fingers up to the glass, tracing his back. The girl behind the counter gave me a sharp look and I bolted, hopefully fast enough so that nobody else saw me. Maybe I should go back and clean it. As I was debating, I
walked to the next shop over to give myself a few minutes.

  There should probably be boundaries in front of other people. The game and flirtation were between me and Reed. No need to involve anyone else whether it be from gossip or exasperated public servants cleaning up after our salivation.

  The bakery door chimed and Reed stepped out, looking over one shoulder and the other in curiosity until he found me, his face lighting up in a smile. “Hey, babe. You want anything?”

  Just like that, I was back in the game.

  “No.” I blushed, pulling at my pockets.

  “Oh, I don’t know if I believe that.” He sauntered over with an even lighter cockiness than when he played our song at Al’s and pulled me into a kiss. I couldn’t stop smiling.

  “Wait here.” I nuzzled his nose in response, blinking excitedly as I watched him duck back into the bakery and come out with a small brown bag. When he unfolded it, I spotted a small sugar cookie heart with my name written in icing on top. Reed watched my face, almost holding his breath. “You like it?”

  “I love it.” I grinned, breaking off a piece for him to try.

  “It’s for you,” he reminded me.

  “My heart? It’s yours, too.”

  He smirked, sucking my fingers clean long enough to hit me sharply between the legs with heat. “Where are you off to in the middle of the day?”

  “Lunch at Al’s with Emily.”

  “Mmm. That sounds great.” His eyes twinkled in what seemed like teasing.

  “What’s wrong with Emily?”

  “Nothing. I’m just jealous she gets to keep such good company and eat a juicy burger. Have a good time.”

  We kissed, lingering on the sidewalk until I was sure I was going to be late. With one last hand-squeeze, I ran off to meet my friend.

  I had a friend. A few months ago I didn’t have anyone.

  Dizzy with gratefulness, I practically skipped up the stairs to Al’s. Emily was already seated in the farthest booth by the jukebox, waving excitedly when she saw me come in.

  “Hey.” I was flushed, almost embarrassed about my good mood and near-tardiness.

  Platonic affection had its role in helping balance me out and I got the feeling Emily appreciated having somebody around who hadn’t heard all her stories.

  We chatted about our weeks, our beaus, work, and wedding plans.

  “So what kind of ring do you think you’d want?”

  I rubbed the thread around my finger. I liked the one I had. I didn’t need anything fancy.

  “I work a lot with my hands, so truthfully I don’t really want or even need a ring. It’d probably just get greasy and catch on my gloves. I do love Reed and want something that shows I’m his and he’s mine, but nothing seems good enough. I mean, how do you honor the most wonderful bond in your life? Not just to your partner, but to the world? A piece of metal?”

  An enigmatic smile popped up on Emily’s face as she leaned back in the booth. “Most people would be happy with a fancy piece of jewelry. It seems like you two might need something extra crazy.”

  Laughing, I shrugged. “I guess so.”

  Our meal passed without much fuss, Emily’s perky possibilities for her own imaginary party and general life choices drifting easily across the table until the click of the jukebox and a certain Pat Benatar song whipped my attention to the musical machine.

  The long, lean figure of my fiancé wasn’t perched with his elbow up on the glass and a cocky, possessive look like I half expected him to be. Almost disappointed, I kept scanning for him, hoping that Emily didn’t find the awkward angle of my search rude. Some teens were on a date and a few families decorated the booths. There were even some people I happily recognized from the garage, but I found him, the source of magic or maybe the magnet for it. My love smirked at me over a menu from the far side of the counter.

  He was watching me.

  I returned his smile, trying to ignore the powerful flutter in my chest that urged with weighty wings to be with him.

  Right now I was with a friend, no matter how tempting it was to pounce on my man.

  I returned my attention to the conversation. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Reed reposition himself to get a better angle on our table. Emily good-naturedly rolled her eyes.

  “Is your boyfriend coming over here or what?”

  “Fiancé,” he corrected, even two booths away.

  Excellent hearing was just one of his wonderful qualities. I ran my thumb over the thread on my finger, grinning wildly.

  Emily seemed unbothered by the eavesdropping. “What’s going on, Romeo?”

  “Just wanted a burger with a view.”

  “Seriously?” Emily teased, turning to me. “Are you two always this cute?”

  “Kind of.” I shrugged, blushing eagerly in the wake of such open adoration.

  “Well, here’s to a couple who can pine on professional levels. Hey Reed, are you gonna get jealous if I take her dress shopping?”

  “Depends. Does that involve you in the dressing room with her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then yes.”

  She gave him an exasperated look as he brazenly reached for a French fry off our table. “What do you say, Betty? I know a cute shop in Knoxville. We can head down today while all their prom dresses are on sale. I was hoping to pick up something I could wear to the wedding, anyway.”

  “It’s not gonna be a black tie affair or a theme party,” Reed chimed in with a frown.

  “No, but we’d like to look nice at one of the few parties West Ridge has to offer. If you’re going to keep interrupting, you might as well sit with us.”

  I glanced at Reed, who raised one shoulder in deference. We hadn’t really talked about suits or dresses or anything, even the food, which I knew would probably be what he was most excited about. The Rattlers were hell-bent on throwing Reed a stag night, but other than that, I didn’t know many details. Even where it was happening was a bit of a mystery.

  “I guess a dress would be good?” Most of my closet was far more casual than a wedding would allow.

  “It’s settled! Reed, I hope you’re at least planning on wearing some suspenders and a nice shirt. Tell me you have slacks.”

  “Slacks?” He frowned, pretending not to understand. “Those are just jeans without holes in them, right?”

  Emily tossed a French fry at him. “Boys are annoying.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Some of them are pretty cute.” I winked, grinning at the way Reed saved the fry from a fate on the floor before grabbing his stuff to join us.

  “I guess you’ve got that right,” Emily said with a dreamy look in her eye. “Have I shown you George’s latest profile picture? I took it for him and he looks so hot in it. You have to see.”

  Reed spared me a long-suffering glance as he wrapped an arm around me in the booth, buckling in for the rest of what his friends would probably deem ‘girl talk’. Personally, I enjoyed the change of pace. It was fun being in more of a group dynamic with him, because we so rarely got to enjoy that. Being alone was always lovely, of course, and I was pleasantly reminded of that at the end of our meal when I crawled over his lap to join Emily for dress shopping instead of waiting for him to get up.

  The heated look he gave me felt like it seared right through my skin.

  His hands stilled my hips when I was still straddling his thighs. “Give us a minute.”

  Emily rolled her eyes good-naturedly and skipped off to her car, probably texting George.

  I waited patiently on Reed’s lap as his gaze lingered on my chest, my lips, my eyes.

  “Reed, we’re in public. You could get a citation for looking at me like that.”

  His hands kneaded a little forcefully across my ass. “Guess I better make it worth the risk.”

  We kissed, my hands snaking into his hair and scratching along his scalp. I wanted to tear into him, bite and soothe his lip. Rut, swallow and smile. But we’re in a restaurant—a wholesome restaurant
we’d like to stay welcome in. After one indulgent grind on his lap, I forced myself up, kissed his nose and went to meet Emily.

  The stores didn’t seem quite as impossible nor the salespeople as judgmental with a friend at my side instead of my former family. Emily pushed a few dresses in my direction to try, of course, but it was more out of a general curiosity than a desire to control me. “You have such great shoulders,” she mused, head tilting to the side. “What do you think of a halter?”

  Emily, for her part, enjoyed everything, clucking in satisfaction when we found a dress that made my whole face light up.

  “It’s the one!”

  So is Reed, I mused, drawing out the skirt to do a little curtsey-twirl.

  “Reed’s gonna absolutely melt when he sees you. A human puddle. All right, you keep being adorable, I’m gonna try on something too. George won’t know what hit him.”

  “Wait! Can I... can we take a photo?”

  “Aw.” Emily squeezed me around the waist. “Of course we can.” We took a photo together, then Emily took a little video of me twirling in the skirt for the full effect that I was tempted to send Reed for fun.

  With a cheeky wave, Emily slid out of my dressing room and into her own to fuss with something a key-lime shade of green. “I sent you the video and pic via text, but let me know if you want me to post it!”

  Emily had been surprisingly good about not posting my image to social media, just a few artsy shots that didn’t show my face. Two milkshakes. Our feet up on a pillow after a hike and soak. Once, she even put up a funny caption along with a picture of my bottom half sticking out of George’s car hood. It made me feel safe in a small way. Maybe my own blog could have little things. No faces. Reed’s and my hands interlocked. A silhouette.

  I shivered just thinking about it. Instead of writing a poem, I contacted Reed. “I think I found it.”

  “The dress? Show me.”

  “Seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding is supposed to be bad luck,” I teased, not that I believed it.