Blackbird Fly

by Willow Rose

  “Since then, I have been living in this prison, this world where I can’t get to see my son because he died here. In that freaking car accident.”

  “As if you ever cared about Andrew,” Igoshi said, addressed to Ethel, then returned to face Anna. “In the other, the one you remember him from, I took Andrew in and took care of him. Ethel had been banned from the reservation. Banned from seeing her son. Andrew grew up with me in both worlds. Ethel was banned from having any contact with any of you. I took you and your brother in when your parents died. The elders thought it was best. I meant to one day tell you the truth, but…”

  “You knew I would come for her one day,” Ethel said. She grabbed Anna’s cheek and squeezed it hard. “She’s my flesh and blood.”

  Igoshi grabbed Anna and pulled her away. “No. Because I knew you would come for her for all the wrong reasons.”

  “Aw, come on. You don’t believe I have it in me to be a good grandmother, huh?”

  “I really don’t,” Igoshi said. “Now tell me why you have brought us all here because it sure wasn’t to make a family reunion.”

  Ethel laughed. It was a harsh laugh that brought a wave of chills down Anna’s spine.

  “She has a gun,” Igoshi muttered as a warning to Anna.

  Anna stiffened as she heard the gun being lifted, then cocked. Anna gasped. She listened to Ethel’s footsteps as they came closer and she could hear the gun move, then Lucas being ripped out of her arms, screaming.

  “Not the boy,” Igoshi said. “Not the boy.”

  “He’s not even your grandson, what do you care?” Ethel said.

  “Please,” Igoshi said. “Please. You don’t understand. He only exists in this world. He never made it anywhere else.”

  “I know,” Ethel said.

  Anna heard the sound of the gun being pressed against skin. She knew it had to be Lucas.

  “That’s why I don’t need him,” Ethel said.

  Anna held her breath as she heard Ethel’s finger move, next followed the deafening sound of the trigger being pulled.

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  Hollywood Reservation, November 2016

  CLICK.

  It was all she heard. No screams, no crying, nothing but the sound of the trigger being pulled, and then…nothing.

  It didn’t shoot. There was no gunfire.

  Anna gasped for air. She felt Igoshi’s hand on her arm, squeezing it tight as she seemed to have lost her balance and was holding onto Anna to not fall. Anna grabbed her before she did.

  Then there was laughter. A loud abrasive laughter that went through her bones. “You really thought I was going to kill him, didn’t you?” Ethel said. “I love seeing that look on people’s faces. Makes me miss the good old times.”

  “You sick, sick bastard. I’ll get you for this,” Igoshi said, her heartbeat jumping back and forth, completely out of its rhythm. Anna worried it was too much for her old heart.

  “Well, I’ll be the one getting something here,” Ethel said. “I’ll give you the boy back, he’s no use to me, but I want something in return.”

  Anna felt Ethel’s eyes land on her. It was strange when you couldn’t see what people looked at, but Anna sensed it. Anna often sensed when they looked at her. She didn’t know how she knew. It was hard to explain.

  “No,” Igoshi said. “Never.”

  “Oh, yes,” Ethel said. “I want the girl. The boy for the girl. It’s a good deal, Igoshi. I mean, look at her, she can’t even see.”

  Igoshi’s earrings were rattling rapidly. “No. No. No. Take me instead. Let the boy and the girl go. I’m the one you’re angry at, remember? You can do whatever you want with me.”

  “Grandmother, no!” Anna said.

  Ethel started to laugh again. “You? What on earth could I possibly want you for? You’re old and useless. Gone from all the worlds, barely alive in this one. No, I want the young flesh.”

  Anna felt Ethel’s cold fingers touch her cheek. She moved her head away.

  “You’re not taking her,” Igoshi said. “I’m not letting you…”

  “I’ll do it,” Anna said.

  “No, Anna, no.”

  “Yes. For Lucas’s sake. Take him back to the reservation. I’ll be fine.”

  “No, I am not letting you do this,” Igoshi said. “Never.”

  “It’s okay, Grandma,” Anna said. “Better me than Lucas. I am alive in other worlds, remember? If she kills me, I am still alive somewhere else. We just…won’t…you and I won’t see each other again.”

  “I’m not going to let this happen,” Igoshi said. “What do you even want with the girl?”

  “It’s none of your business,” Ethel hissed at her sister.

  “You want to use her, don’t you? To go back to the other worlds. Don’t think I don’t know that you know how to mind control, how you know how to manipulate people’s minds and use them to peek back into the worlds you have left. And Anna is the best one, isn’t she? Because she can go anywhere, just like you used to.”

  “I want to go back and see him,” Ethel said. “He was my son. You took him away from me.”

  “You don’t deserve him,” Igoshi said. “And don’t try and fool me by telling me you want to see Andrew. I don’t believe you.”

  “Anna,” Ethel said and came so close that Anna could feel the heat from her body. “I just want to see my son, your father. I want to be with him, even if it is just for a short period of time. Is that such a bad thing? And you can help me. You’re the only one who can. You’re the only one still alive in that world, the one I want to go back to.”

  “But…but…I can’t see.”

  “It doesn’t matter. See, that’s the beauty of it. With your body and my eyes, we can do anything we like. I can make you see again. If only you let me in…”

  She let a fingernail run gently down Anna’s face again. It made her shiver. But she would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little intrigued by the thought of being able to see again.

  “No!” Igoshi said and brushed Ethel’s hand away. “I won’t let you use her like that.”

  “You know I can’t use her unless she lets me,” Ethel said. “So, technically, it won’t be using, more like two people accomplishing something by sharing their talents and helping each other out. That’s all.”

  Let me in, Anna.

  Anna gasped when she heard Ethel’s voice in her mind. She took a step backward. She felt a pressure on her head like she had felt before when Gubba had tried to get inside of her mind. It hurt.

  Stop!

  Let me in, Anna. I know you want to. I know you want to see again. Your grandmother doesn’t even have to know about it.

  Anna blocked out the woman but wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her out of her mind, when suddenly the pressure on her head eased up completely and her voice was gone.

  Anna heard her grandmother gasp, then E.T. saying:

  “What do you think you’re doing, boy? Get that gun away from my face.”

  “I’m stopping you, old hag,” Gubba said. “I can’t believe you lied to me again. You told when I blinded her that she couldn’t be used anymore. That she was destroyed.”

  “Well, I thought that was the case since usually blind people can’t find their way. They get lost. But not this one, apparently, because she keeps coming back. That’s what makes her so special, Gubba. I was gonna let you try…”

  “You lied to me,” Gubba said. “Again and again. Told me I had to find the girl for my sake, so she could help me get back, but it was all for you, wasn’t it? You were the one who wanted to travel again. You never intended to help me get back, did you?”

  “Gubba, I…”

  “DID YOU?”

  “N-n-no”

  “So, I was nothing but a bodyguard to you. An errand-boy to do the dirty work for you, huh?”

  “Gubba, I…don’t…please…I’m only alive in this world; if you pull that trigger…I…”

  The sound of the gun
going off echoed in the hotel room and made the windows rattle. Anna heard Ethel’s body fall to the carpet with a thud. Anna could hear Gubba’s heavy breath, then felt her grandmother’s hand in hers, pulling her forcefully, her small voice whispering with urgency.

  “Run.”

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  Hollywood Reservation, November 2016

  Anna grabbed Lucas’s hand and ran for the door. In her mind, she remembered perfectly well in which direction the door was. Her grandmother led the way and she could follow her scent closely as Igoshi unlocked the door and stormed into the hallway.

  “HEEELP!” Igoshi screamed.

  While running, her footprints subdued by the carpet in the hallway, Anna listened carefully, but couldn’t hear Gubba’s heartbeat anywhere.

  Where is he? Is he following us? Will he try to kill us?

  Other heartbeats soon approached them and made it hard for her to hear properly. The hallway was soon filled with footsteps and voices. Someone yelled that the police were on their way. Igoshi grabbed Anna’s hand and led her to the stairs and, still while holding on to a heavily crying Lucas, they stormed down the stairs. To Anna’s surprise, she didn’t really need the ability to see in order to flee down a flight of stairs. If she used all of her other senses, she could picture the stairs in her mind and avoid tripping.

  They ran downstairs, where more footsteps and rapid heartbeats met them. Igoshi stopped to catch her breath, then spoke to someone, an officer it sounded like, who told them the police had surrounded the place and they were safe now.

  Anna didn’t feel very safe.

  She hugged Lucas tight, then was guided to a chair where she sat down, Igoshi right next to her. No one spoke while the sound of officers running and yelling, coming from upstairs, drowned out everything else.

  An officer approached them, asked Igoshi if she was sure it was the same man who had been in all the media and she told them yes, it was the albino man. Then the officer told her they couldn’t find him anywhere.

  An ambulance arrived and took Ethel’s body away. It was strange to Anna to hear the wheels of the stretcher as it was being pulled across the tiles, knowing Ethel was lying on it, but not hearing any heartbeat. She was definitely dead, even though Anna was never going to forget the sound of her heart.

  “We have a car ready to transport you home,” a voice said, hours later, when they had given their testimonies and told them over and over again that there was no need for them to see a doctor or go to the hospital. They weren’t hurt.

  Just as they were being helped out to the car, Anna heard something and stopped. “What’s wrong?” Igoshi asked.

  Anna’s heart rushed and she felt the blood leave her head. “It’s him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Anna listened carefully, her hands shaking. The sound of Gubba’s heartbeat drowned out everything.

  “He’s here. Close.”

  “He’s gone, Anna,” Igoshi said. “There’s no one here. The place is crawling with officers. He can’t be here. You’re just scared. No wonder, with all that you’ve been through.”

  Anna breathed deeply to calm herself down. As she did, the heartbeat disappeared. She could no longer hear it. Maybe it was, after all, just her mind playing a trick on her.

  “You coming?” Igoshi said.

  Anna reached out her hand and Igoshi grabbed it. She could hear her grandmother smile.

  “Let’s go home.”

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  Hollywood Reservation, November 2016

  It was dark out. Anna had grown to hate the darkness, even though she couldn’t see it. She knew it was there, encompassing everything. She loathed the nights. Two weeks had passed since they were at the casino and still no news from the police of where Gubba could be.

  Anna sipped her coffee, sitting by the table in her grandmother’s kitchen. She could hear someone approaching the door and knew it was her grandmother. Her rhythm was so calm it felt almost soothing to have her close. Anna smiled.

  “I thought you were sleeping?”

  “I was.”

  Igoshi sat down. She grabbed Anna’s hand in hers. Anna turned her face towards hers.

  “You have to sleep,” Igoshi said. “You have barely had one whole night of sleep since we got back. It’s not good for you.”

  Anna sipped her coffee again. “I know,” she said. “I do sleep.”

  “Yes, an hour here or two there, making sure it’s dreamless, but a girl your age needs a good long night of sleep, Anna. You sit down here all night, drinking coffee, keeping yourself up. It’s not healthy.”

  Anna sighed. She didn’t even feel tired. She had stopped feeling tired a long time ago. All she was, was worried.

  “Why don’t you want to go back? What are you afraid of? Don’t you miss your father?”

  “Yes, of course, I do,” Anna said. She really didn’t want to have this conversation. She thought she had been able to keep her night roaming a secret from her grandmother, but of course she knew. “I miss him like crazy. It’s killing me.”

  “Then what is the problem?”

  Igoshi paused and held Anna’s hand tight. “I get it,” she said. “You’re afraid you won’t be able to find your way back, is that it?”

  Anna cleared her throat, then nodded. “I don’t want to leave you and Lucas. What if I don’t come back?”

  “You came back last time,” Igoshi said.

  “I know, but what if that was just pure luck? What if I can’t do it again? I can’t risk it. I don’t want to leave you. I’m scared I might get lost.”

  “I can’t blame you, Anna, but I think you have to. Your dad misses you. He needs you too. You have to go, Anna. Getting lost is always a risk when you travel the way you do. It’s a part of it.”

  “Easy for you to say. You never had to find your way blind.” Anna grabbed her cup and drank more coffee, then put the cup down hard on the table. “I’m not going. I know you’re giving me that look, even though I can’t see it, Nanna. You can do that all you want to, but I’m not going back.”

  “So, what? You’re going to stay here for the rest of your life, never returning, never traveling?”

  “I’ve made my decision. I’m done traveling. It’s too risky.”

  Igoshi exhaled deeply. “But, Anna…”

  “No, Grandma. I mean it. It’s over. I’m done.”

  “But…that means you’ll have to stay in a coma in your father’s world until you die. That means your dad will never see you again?”

  Igoshi got up from her chair. “I don’t know how you can be so selfish. It will kill your dad and you know it. First, he lost Julia and now you? It will simply destroy him.”

  Anna crossed her arms in front of her chest. “He’ll have to live with it. Unless I somehow miraculously get my sight back, I am not going back. Not to his world, not to any other world.”

  Igoshi grunted something, then turned her back on Anna and walked away. As she reached the door, she stopped, as if she wanted to say something. Anna could hear her heart rhythm had changed, it was faster, more off the beat, similar to the broken heart she had heard in her sister.

  Igoshi gave up and walked out, leaving Anna by the table, tears streaming silently across her cheeks.

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  Hollywood Reservation, November 2016

  She was crying, cursing her blindness away. Tears were spilling across her face and she wiped them away, but more just arrived, and she wondered why that couldn’t have been taken from her as well. Why was it only the ability to see?

  Anna lifted her cup and realized it was empty. She thought about getting some more, but all this coffee made her feel terrible and so thirsty. She really didn’t like coffee that much, but it helped her stay awake.

  She couldn’t stop thinking about her father. She missed him so terribly and knew he would be so worried, so completely out of it. It pained her to think about it.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I am
so, so sorry, Daddy.”

  She tried to remember him, imagine his face and recall his voice, but it was getting harder and harder. If it was this hard after only several weeks, how much worse was it going to be years from now?

  “I love you, Daddy. I really do. Please, don’t be sad. Please don’t cry over me. I am fine.”

  But she knew it was a lie. She wasn’t fine. The question was if she ever would be. Would she be able to live with herself, knowing she hadn’t even tried to go back? Hadn’t even given it a shot?

  She shook her head. No, it was too dangerous. Too much at stake. She reminded herself of the many months she had been away from her grandmother and Lucas. It had been absolutely awful. She never wanted to miss them like that again; she never wanted to be this devastated, thinking she was never going to see them again.

  But that was exactly how it was now, wasn’t it? She was missing her dad in the exact same way and the thought of never seeing him again, and knowing how he must feel, was crushing her heart. It was no better, was it?

  Why did it have to be so hard? Being a traveler was supposed to be a gift, not a curse. Now she was wishing she had never been born with it in the first place.

  But there is a way and you know it.

  “No. No. No. Never,” she said to get rid of the thought. It wasn’t the first time it had occurred, but it was getting stronger, more persuasive.