I sat, shocked, anxious, and scared. And angry. Why the fuck hadn't anyone told me? I grabbed my mobile. He answered on the first ring.
“He's done it again? The bastard has done it again?”
“What?” Asked Simon, confused. “Who has done what? Em, calm down and talk to me.” He commanded. I took a breath. He didn't know.
“Derek.” I whimpered. “They think he took a girl.”
“When?” Simon's tone was hard. He was annoyed as I was about being left out of the loop.
“I don't know.” I wailed. “Now. Today. They saw him follow her, and now she is missing. She is twelve Simon. Twelve.” The tears broke my voice into an inaudible babble of garble. “You said he wasn't here.” I fretted.
“He wasn't, Em. He wasn't. I will come over Em, don't worry.”
“You'll get in trouble.” I argued, secretly hoping he wouldn't care.
“I don't give a fuck. They can fire me for all I care.” He grumbled. “I'm going to make a few phone calls to see what I can find out. I will see you soon.”
I glanced at the clock. 10pm had come and gone, and there had been no sign of Simon. I was beginning to worry.
I tried his cell. It rang out. I tried again and it was turned off. Sleep. I needed to sleep. I needed to forget. Making my way to the bedroom I curled up in bed. My mind wouldn't stop. I could feel a panic attack rising. My bedside table beckoned. I reached in and took out my emergency stash of sleeping tablets. This was an emergency. I took two.
“Where the fuck are you? I told you I needed it hours ago.” He hisses. I keep my eyes closed. I know better than to let him know I am awake. I hurt so much. My stomach, my legs, my head. Hell even my hair hurts. I have no way of knowing how long I've been here. I drift in and out of consciousness so often it could have been hours. Or weeks.
“Well hurry the fuck up!” I jump as he slams the phone down. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter. I know what is coming. I feel him hovering over me. The sound. Squish. Squish. I tense as I feel him climb on top of me. I don't fight. Last time I fought he had wrapped a bag over my head until I passed out. A knock. The door. He pushes himself off me. The force sends me rolling into the wall.
“About fucking time!” Out of the corner of my eye I see the package of white powder. The other man shrugs.
“Fuck you dude. You said 78, not 79. And room fucking 26 would have helped” He nods toward me. “Who's the bitch?”
I screamed, my eyes focusing on the darkness surrounding me.
My hand blindly flailed for the lamp, finally, light filled the room. I sat up letting my eyes adjust to the light. The reality of my dream hit me. 79. Route 79. There was only one route 79 in all of New York State. And only one caravan park on that route.
I tried Simon again. No answer. I knew Cass was at her fathers and she would be out of range. Tom wasn't answering either. Everyone was so concerned for my safety, yet I couldn't reach anyone? Some friends. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I couldn't just call the police. They'd think I was nuts. And I couldn't exactly go there myself. For what seemed much longer then the ten minutes it actually was, I sat staring at my phone. Willing someone to ring me.
Anyone.
The phone stayed silent. My stomach churned into knots at what I was about to attempt. I could do this. I had to do this.
I reached for my purse and fumbled around for the valium mom had put there in case I needed to leave in some kind of emergency. I swallowed a handful. If this wasn't an emergency, I don't know what was. Now for a taxi. I had never called a taxi before. I wasn't even sure what to do.
Eventually I buzzed the doorman downstairs.
“Hi, uh, can you order me a taxi. Mancelli. Apartment 123.”
“Mancelli?” He repeated, shocked.
“Yes.” I hoped I sounded more in control than I felt. “To Sunny Hills Caravan Park.”
“Yes Ma'am.” He replied nervously.
“Oh, and I will need a hand getting downstairs.” I added meekly. Suddenly I wasn't feeling so good.
I propped myself against the wall while I waited for the doorman. I didn't even know his name. I'd probably met him twice in the year I'd been here. The valium was starting to set in, though I still felt very overwhelmed. My stomach was churning, my head ached, and I was so cold. In my condition no taxi driver was going to take me anywhere. I grabbed the bottle of valium and took another.
“Miss Mancelli?” A knock on the door rudely interrupted my struggle to breathe. “The taxi is here.” The room began to blur. I willed myself to stay focused.
“Miss?”
“Can you open the door please? I'm okay.” My eyes squeezed shut, my mind summoning up all the energy I had to move.
Focus.
Focus on one thing. Anything.
I thought back to before. I was twelve. It was Christmas morning. I loved Christmas. It had still been dark when I sneaked downstairs to gently shake the presents. There were lots of them. As an only child, I was spoilt rotten on Christmas, and a week later on my birthday. This would be my last Christmas before the attack. The last Christmas I'd find joy in the little things, such as baking gingerbread cookies with mom, or hunting for a tree in the forest with dad.
“Hold onto my arm Miss. I will guide you down.” I nodded, gripping his forearm so tightly he winced in pain. I couldn't let go. I couldn't. We moved down the hallway, to the lift. I pushed my mind back to my memory.
Mom had come down shortly after six. I was sitting on the couch with our cat Larry in my lap, waiting impatiently.
“Where is dad?” I'd asked, a hint of annoyance in my voice.
“On his way.” She smiled, heading into the kitchen. I pushed aside Larry and followed her in. I sat at the counter watching her make breakfast. A Christmas tradition, we stuffed ourselves with bacon, eggs, pancakes, hash browns, and on top of all that, we still found room for mom’s amazing blueberry waffles.
“Merry Christmas!”
I raced over and hugged dad, more excited about the fact that I'd soon be able to open my presents. I had been hinting for a discman. Jane and I had both decided that's what we wanted. I would be shattered if she got one and I didn't. Mom set the bacon in the oven.
“How about we open presents now?” She smiled at me. Before she was even answered, I had raced into the living room and taken my place under the tree. Mom and dad joined me. I began handing out presents. As usual, I left mine in a pile at my side until the last of the presents were gone. Then I began to unwrap. Clothes. Underwear. Bras (I had stashed them away under the clothes quickly, embarrassed).
Then finally, a box. I had ripped it open. I was sure this was my discman. It was the right shape and size. When I opened the box, my heart fell. It was a necklace. With a little diamond pearl drop. It was beautiful. But it wasn't a disc-man.
“Thanks.” I smiled brightly, hoping my disappointment wasn't visible. I put the necklace on, forcing myself to smile.
“Miss? Where do you want to go?”
A new image broke through my memory. A taxi. I was in a taxi. My breathing got heavier, I bit down hard on my lip. A pain shot through my head as my vision started to swirl.
Shit.
Not now. Not now.
“Do you need me to come with you?” I looked up. The doorman was looking down at me, a gentle smile on his face. He felt sorry for me. Of course he did. I was the girl who never left the apartment. They had probably ran a pool on what was wrong with me. I wonder who picked nutcase.
Winner.
My head nodded. Words weren't working for me right now.
“Sunny hill Caravan Park. On 79.” He ordered, sliding in beside me. He had taken his cap off. His silver hair still slicked back, the odd curl falling around his ear. He was a nice man. About 60 or so. I hadn't seen him before. Not that I saw many of the doormen.
“Are you married?” I asked. I was surprised by my own question. He too looked surprised. Then he smiled. He pulled a picture out of his wallet. I examined
the image. It was him, maybe four or five years younger. Next to him stood a woman. She was attractive, even with her hair up I could tell it was long and curly. Two girls stood either side of their mother.
Both had the same blonde hair and blue eyes as their mother. They could have been twins, but for one being taller and looking slightly older. I handed him back the picture. The cab began to pull away, causing my stomach to surge.
I clenched my fists on the base of the seat, squeezing until my knuckles turned white. Breathe. Breathe. I repeated. I drifted back to that Christmas.
After breakfast, mom had disappeared while dad got the car ready for our trip to Uncle Bills. I was looking forward to seeing my cousins, but not the drive there. I hadn't noticed mom come back into the room.
“Santa must have forgotten this one.” She winked. I took the gift with both hands, almost scared to open it. Could it be? I gently unwrapped the paper. And there it was. A brand new discman. I shrieked, jumping up and dancing around.
“Thank you, thank you!” I twirled, hugging the box to my stomach. “This is the best Christmas ever.”
I ran my hand up and clasped onto the diamond pearl pendant that hung around my neck, my fingers rolling the smooth gem. I glanced out the window. How I wished I could go back to that Christmas.
“Miss? We are here.” Gary, as the doorman introduced himself as earlier, tapped my shoulder softly. I must have fallen asleep, I realised, my eyes trying to adjust to the dimly lit park. The valium I'm sure weren't helping.
“Are you meeting someone?”
“Yes. Something like that.” A raspy voice sounding nothing like my own spilled from my lips. I let Gary help me out of the car. I couldn't do this. I whimpered softly. Gary's eyes were filled with concern.
“Are you okay? Can I help? Call someone maybe?”
I took a step toward the path leading to the cabins. I shook my head. To my surprise, Gary moved with me.
“I can't leave you alone Ma'am”
“It's too dangerous.” I let out a sob. “I have to help her.” Gary nodded. He held my arm.
“Tell me where to go.”
I repeated the cabin number. Bile rose up, burning my throat. I swung my body sideways and vomited.
He handed me a tissue and gently tapped my back. I took it gratefully, wiping my mouth. I managed another few steps before vomiting again. My knees buckled and I fell to the ground. My phone rang. I fumbled for it, handing it to Gary. I continued to dry reach. Breathe. Breathe.
“Hi. Yeah she's with me.” Silence. “Yeah, 79, the cabins. Number 26? Got cha. How long ago?” Silence. “Righto. Maybe call another ambulance.” Silence. “I think the girl might be here.”
Gary hung up. I knew something wasn't right. Gary and Simon seemed to know each other. I pushed that aside for now and struggled to my feet.
“Hey, hey. Help is on the way.” He soothed, holding me back. I struggled away.
“What's going on?” I demanded. I felt like I was out of the loop. Even through the haze of the valium I knew something was off. “Tell me.” I begged.
“They had Moosly in custody, but had to release him. That was 25 minutes ago.”
My eyes widened. I had to get to the girl. I thought about what he'd put me though. Gary held my shaking body tighter.
“You're no help in this condition.” He whispered. He led me back to the car.
“Keep her in here.” He ordered the cab driver. He lifted his shirt and showed me his gun.
“I'm an officer. A friend of Simon's. Stay here, I will check the cabin. Under no circumstances do you follow. Understand?” I nodded, knowing full well if I needed to, I'd find a way there.
I watched him disappear into the darkness.
Chapter Twenty-two
The driver bobbed his head to the music pouring through his headphones, oblivious to my panic. It had been fifteen minutes and forty five seconds. Forty six. Forty seven. I quietly undid my seatbelt, my eyes on the driver the whole time. Shit. The light. It would come on when I opened the door. My arm reached forward. Even in the dark I could see it shaking. I flicked the light to off. Next step was to get out.
The door unlocked, I gently opened it, just enough for me to squeeze through. Yes. I did it. I pushed the door closed, not bothering to lock it in properly. Ducking behind the taxi, I crept toward a nearby bush. Once safely out of view, the panic really set in. I was so focused getting out of the car, my anxiety hadn't really been too much of an issue.
Now, out here, in the dead of night in the pitch black, I was overwhelmed with fear. I reached for the tablets I'd stashed in my pocket. I threw back another valium. I had no idea how many I'd taken by now, but it was the only way I had even the smallest chance of getting through this.
Bang!
My body froze.
In the distance, in the cool brisk air, a single gunshot. My body convulsed like it had torn through me. I stumbled, falling against a nearby tree. I vaguely felt the blood as it gashed out of my thigh. I couldn't do this. Where the fuck was Simon. I fumbled in my pockets.
Fuck!
Gary hadn't given back my phone after the call. My skin prickled with goose bumps. I now wished I'd had the sense to take a jacket. The thin material of my T-shirt was doing nothing to shelter the cold. I brought my legs to my chest and hugged them. Maybe I could wait here. They would be here soon. Simon would find me and take me home.
Home. How I wished I was at home now.
Then I thought of her.
The girl.
How scared she must me, how scared I had been all those years ago. How scared I was now. I had no way of knowing the cause or recipient of that gunshot. Focus, Breathe. I struggled to my feet, my legs buckling under me like jelly. My heart was pounding so hard, so fast I thought it might explode. Sweat trickled down my cheek. I almost laughed. Sweat! I was freezing for fuck’s sake! I wiped away the sweat and pulled my arms to my chest.
Twenty-three. I had just passed cabin twenty-three.
The park was nearly empty. I moved forward, clutching from tree to tree. My vision warped, making all the trees look like they were swaying. I struggled to catch hold of each one, and when I did, I held onto it like I was going to be swept away.
In the distance I saw a flash of light. It was there and then gone. Maybe I'd imagined it? My feet pushed forward, as though they were in control, not my brain. Right now I wasn't sure my brain was capable of anything.
I heard the sound before I felt the pain. The sound of something hard hitting the back of my head. I reached up. Warm. Blood, I guessed.
Everything went black.
“Please. Help me.”
It was her. Even though I couldn't see her, I knew it was her. I could hear the fear in her voice. The same fear I'd felt, and experienced.
My head felt like it had exploded. Dried blood matted my hair. My heart pounded. It was dark, but I could make out the girl tied to the bed in the corner of the room. I could make out Gary sprawled out on the floor near the door, a pool of blood trickling around his chest. He wasn't moving. I couldn't tell if he was alive.
Then, I saw him. Sitting in a chair, staring at me.
Smiling. Anger surged through me. How dare he smile at me.
“Wow. I can't believe what a beautiful woman you have grown into.” He smiled broadly. He sounded like a proud long lost relative, not a deranged rapist. “It's so good to see you again. How have you been? This is such a surprise!” There are so many ways I wanted to answer him. Most involved some kind of utensil and an orifice he could jam it in. But I knew my best chance of getting out of this alive was to keep him calm. And talking.
“Good.” I croaked. I coughed. “I have been okay.” My voice was clearer, but still reeked of nerves. He smiled. I could tell he liked I was scared. That's what he got off on.
Suddenly he was on his feet.
“Oh god I'm so rude!” He exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He walked over to the girl.
“Have you met Mandy?
” He untied her and pushed her toward me. She winced at the grip of his hand around her arm. She fell in front of me. Her eyes were dead. Dark rings circled them.
“You two should get along great. You have so much in common.” He laughed. I felt sick. I didn't want to know what he'd done to her, but deep down I knew. I could see it in her face. Her expression. It was the same one I’d worn ten years earlier.
“Why not just come for me?” I asked him. He seemed surprised by the question. Then humour filled his dark eyes.
“What makes you think I even wanted you again?” He chuckled, amused by my question. Then his turned serious. “This isn’t about you, Emma, though I thought about you every day. What I did to you, I thought if I could get out, I could make things right. But I can’t.”
“Oh don't look so scared Missy. Us three, we are going to have a great time.” I heard Mandy next to me whimper softly. Derek rolled his eyes. “Don't mind her.” He said, reaching over and kicking her in the back so hard she gasped.
I flinched, as though the kick had wounded me. “She has done nothing but complain since we started! At least you were quiet. So well behaved.” His voice faltered as he smiled.
He was thinking of me. Us. The thought made me want to vomit. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“So let her go?” I suggested lightly. “We can have fun without her.” I kept my voice as light as I could. Inside I was screaming. All I needed was for him to let her go.
“I need to go back, Emma. I can’t handle it out here. I need to make sure I won’t get out again. And she,” He motioned toward Mandy, “Will make sure of that. Or more to the point, what I do to her will make sure of it.” He smiled at me, and winked.
Feeling sick, I tried again to swallow the lump in my throat. This time, I was less successful. I lunged forward, most of the day’s food ending up all over my top. Derek jumped back in disgust. I almost laughed at the irony.
He was disgusted with me?
“Aww seriously Emma?” He tipped his gun toward to my top. “Take it off.” My eyes widened. No. I couldn't. I wouldn't.
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