Hard to Break

by Bella Jewel

  I have a bra on, so I pull my coveralls back over that. Wolf whistles flow in from the crowd and then suddenly Tazen is by my side. “What the fuck?”

  “Don’t what the fuck me,” I mutter. “This car needs my attention.”

  “This car is fucked.”

  I look over to him, and he’s now leaning down with me.

  “No car is fucked, Tazen. It’s just not treated with the respect and love it deserves.”

  “What did you say?” Sheyenne demands.

  I stand and turn to face her. “Did I stutter, Sheyenne? If you treated these cars like the pieces of beauty they are, you wouldn’t have so many problems. Instead you’re a hotheaded, careless bitch and you take that out on these cars. If you want to be a true racer, learn some respect.”

  Her face swells red and Murray steps in front of her, glaring at me.

  “What?” I say, crossing my arms. “It’s the damned truth. Protect her from it all you like, maybe that’s the problem.”

  Tazen is by my side, curling his fingers around my arm in warning. God, why are they all protecting this woman who does nothing but treat them all like trash? It makes me angry, because she’s walking all over them and they’re letting her.

  “You better watch yourself,” Sheyenne threatens.

  “Or what?” I say. “You might have these guys by their dicks, Sheyenne, but I owe you fuck all. I say it how it is. If you can’t handle it,” I wave my arm towards the crowd, “I’m sure you know the way out.”

  “I’m going to hurt her, Murray!” she yells, stepping forward. He turns and curls an arm around her, holding her back.

  I roll my eyes and lean underneath the hood again. I cover my hand and start checking everything. I’m right, there’s a major oil leak and it’s damaged a lot of parts. Not to mention this engine has been flogged. She’s treated it badly. I can tell by the wear and tear. Why Tazen would ever sell this dragon a car is beyond me.

  “It’s got a massive oil leak,” I say to Tazen, straightening. “It caused some serious engine damage. It needs a lot of work.”

  “It needs to be burned,” Sheyenne snaps.

  “I could say the same about you,” I mutter.

  She bares her teeth at me, in a feral hiss. Jesus, issues much?

  “It might not need to be burned,” Tazen says. “But it needs close. It’s fucked, Quinn.”

  “It’s not fucked,” I say. “It just needs a rebuild.”

  “And I don’t have time for that shit,” Tazen says. “Close the hood, I’ll get rid of it.”

  “No.”

  He turns to me, eyes flaring. “What?”

  “I said no. You’re not getting rid of it. That bitch destroyed a masterpiece, and I’m not going to let it go to waste. Let me have it. If you’re just going to dump it, then at least let me have it.”

  He studies me, then shakes his head and shrugs. “Fine, whatever.”

  “Good. Oh, and if that new car is for her to destroy, I’m not helping you build it. I’d rather gnaw my own arm off than to see that disrespectful cow get behind another one of your cars.”

  His eyes widen and Sheyenne lunges forward, but Murray catches her again, pulling her back.

  “Let me teach her a lesson, Murray,” she screeches. “Stupid bitch, let me rip her hair out.”

  I open my mouth to reply but Tazen clamps a hand over it and says in a low voice, “Be very careful, Quinn. There’s a lot you don’t know, things that can get you hurt. If I could tell you, I would, but you need to trust me okay? She’s bad news. Just simmer down, okay?”

  “I know enough to have followed you here, where you’re involved in some pretty stupid stuff. If you want to risk your career to please that spoiled brat, you go right ahead.”

  I turn and walk towards the crowd. I look back over my shoulder before I reach it. “Oh, have the car delivered for me. Will you?”

  Then I blend in with the people.

  Shit just got real.

  * * *

  “Stop, Quinn.”

  I keep walking towards my car, parked in the darkness. Tazen is following me. Of course he is. I’m ignoring him.

  “Jesus, stop, will you?”

  I’m just about at my car when he takes hold of my hand and spins me around. I lose my balance and slam into his chest. It takes me a moment to gather my footing, but when I do, I push him backwards and shoot him a menacing glare.

  “What the fuck did you follow me here for?”

  I cross my arms. “I knew you were up to something, I wanted to see what.”

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “Considering I’m your employee, I’d say it is. Oh, and there’s the fact that you’ve fucked me.”

  “Fucked plenty of women.”

  Ouch.

  I flinch and anger bubbles in my chest.

  “You know what?” I say. “Fuck you. I’m done with you. You’ve done nothing but play games with me from the start.”

  “Me?” He snorts. “I think you’re the fucking game player.”

  “Whatever,” I say, opening my car door. “I’m done.”

  “No, you’re not. We’re going to talk.”

  He takes hold of my arm, but I spin around and shove him backwards. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m finished with you and your psycho girlfriend.”

  “She isn’t my girlfriend,” he growls.

  “No, you just make her car after car, so she can trash them. I thought you cared more about your work than that.”

  “Listen, Sheyenne is…”

  “A spoiled brat who you all keep making excuses for.”

  He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “She’s not right in the head, Quinn.”

  “No shit.”

  “I’m being serious,” he yells. “She’s nuts and it’s getting worse. We don’t know what’s wrong with her, but she’s having massive episodes where she just loses it. She’s taking it out on her cars, on her friends and what little family she has left. She was my girlfriend for a while, and I noticed it was happening. When she tried to run me over after a fight one night, I knew it was spiraling out of control.”

  I shake my head. I feel sorry for her, if that’s the case, I do. But them spoiling her is not helping anyone. All it’s doing is teaching her to be a bigger bitch. If they wanted to help her, they’d take her to a doctor.

  “And you think that’s enough of an excuse for me to forgive you for treating me like shit and then handing her car after car?”

  “I shut down on you in front of her, so she wouldn’t explode at you. I was protecting you. And as for the car, racing helps her but…” He trails off.

  I knew it, there’s something else.

  “What?” I prompt.

  “Look, she is a loose cannon, and she knows I used to do things I shouldn’t have. If she exposes me, I could lose everything. Do you understand me? I can lose every single thing I’ve worked for.”

  “You’re not making any sense,” I mutter.

  He sighs. “Look … there’s a reason I know a lot about this illegal racing. I’ve done things, Quinn. I’ve sold cars to people I shouldn’t sell cars to, I’ve taken deals to build illegally, and worse, I’ve raced illegally. If that comes out … I risk losing it all. Sheyenne knows everything there is to know, and with Murray like a dog on her heels, it isn’t easy to flick her off.”

  Ding ding ding. There it is.

  “Maybe that’s true, but Jesus, Tazen, she is treating your work like shit. Surely there’s a way you can get around it, without losing your career. Does she have solid evidence?”

  “You don’t get it, Quinn, and I don’t expect you to but Sheyenne has the means to destroy me if she wants to—I am pulling back, I am refusing builds, but she’s bringing in the threats hard and fast. I need the time to figure out how to sort her out, without risking my life’s work.”

  “I get that, and it’s your business Tazen, but standing back and letting her treat you like shit and des
troy so much beauty … do you really have to stand back and let her do that? I thought you cared about your builds more than that, but I guess I was wrong.”

  “Jesus,” he grunts. “You’re in a mood.”

  “No,” I say, leaning close. “I’m just sick and tired of you.”

  “Yet here you are,” he spits.

  “Whatever.” I jerk my door open again, but he slams a hand on it and presses my body against the car. He drops his head to my ear and I can’t help the shiver that runs through me.

  “Maybe,” he says, “you’re jealous.”

  “Dream on,” I mumble.

  “Most girls wouldn’t take such an interest.”

  “Yeah, well, most girls are probably okay with being fucked and treated like shit. I am not.”

  “I told you, I was protecting you.”

  “I can protect myself. Now get off me.”

  He presses his hips into my ass and I can feel how hard he is. Right against my ass. I close my eyes, wanting to beat him senseless.

  “I can tell you with a hundred percent certainty, that I have no interest in Sheyenne.”

  “And that’s meant to make me feel better?”

  He grinds against me and his hand goes down to cup my breast. “Will it make you feel better if I tell you that I’m cutting ties with her?”

  It actually would, but I don’t say that.

  “Why would that make me feel better? You’ve made it clear I’m not enough for you.”

  He stills and then rasps, “Baby.”

  “Don’t you baby me,” I fire back in a breathy tone. “You fucked me and then treated me badly, Tazen.”

  “I didn’t mean for it to hurt, angel.”

  Angel.

  Damn him.

  “Yeah, well, it did.”

  “You want my apology?” he says, his lips so close to my ear I shudder.

  “I do, yes.”

  “Then I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t do it to be a prick. If I don’t show anything towards you, she won’t react. It was a sticky situation and I was trying to get you out of there so you didn’t have to deal with her. You’ve only seen a small percentage of Sheyenne, trust me when I say it was for the best.”

  “Yeah, well, fuck Sheyenne. If you’ve been inside me, I want you to be damned proud of that.”

  “Fuck,” he breathes into my ear. “I’m more than proud. You hear me?”

  I shrug.

  “You need me to show you just how fucking much I need you, Quinn? Is that what you need from me?”

  “Maybe,” I whisper.

  “You want me to come undone for you?”

  “Yes,” I rasp.

  He unclasps my coveralls, letting them drop. Then he reaches around me and cups my sex. “You’re so fucking wet, baby. Tell me what made you so turned on?”

  I swallow.

  “It was you … racing.”

  “My girl likes me behind the wheel?”

  I nod as his finger rubs over the silk of my panties.

  “So slick,” he rasps. “It makes me hard to know how turned on you are.”

  The flash of a car light hits us, and Tazen quickly opens the car door and shoves me inside. He climbs in after me just as the line of cars starts retreating from the racing grounds. Tazen doesn’t seem worried about them, because he doesn’t stop. He slides my seat back and then pulls me onto his lap.

  “How do you want me to fuck you?”

  “Just like this,” I pant.

  He grins and reaches down between us, unbuckling his belt. He pulls his cock out. He hands me a condom and I lean back to roll it over his impressive length. While I’m doing this, he captures the back of my head in his hand and pulls me down, kissing me fiercely. I kiss him back and the frenzy takes over. I rise up when I have the condom rolled down. I pull my panties aside enough to let him in and then I sink down.

  We both moan in delight.

  My sex stretches around him as I begin rotating my hips in little figure eight patterns. I reach up, tangling my fingers into his hair and giving him a good, hard tug. He hisses and his fingers curl into my hips. “Fuck me good and hard, Quinn.”

  “I plan to,” I pant.

  I rise up and then sink back down onto him. I start slow, using deep, long strokes. Then I’m fucking him harder and shorter, desperate and hungry. My nails scrape along his scalp as my head falls back. He is making animalistic noises and driving his hips up to meet my thrusts. He leans forward, capturing my neck in his mouth and sucking long and hard. I hiss at the pain.

  “Tazen,” I groan as pleasure begins deep in my core and starts venturing out.

  “Yes,” he grunts against my skin. “Fuck yes.”

  I ride him hard and deep, pressing my breasts into his chest, loving the feeling of his fingers against my flesh. His lips are moving over the skin around my neck and shoulders. I whimper and arch towards him as pleasure reaches its breaking point. Then I let go, coming so hard around him that my nails drive into the flesh of his head. He moans, a mix of pain and pleasure, and then he’s coming right along with me.

  The car doors are steamed up and we’re both crying out, no holding back. I like the way we sound together. I like the passion that is ripped out of us when we’re together. There’s an intensity that so many people don’t have. Tazen and I, we have it. It’s there and it’s deep. I wonder if he feels it as deeply as I do? I press my forehead against his as I come down from an amazing high. I ease up on his head and run my hands down until they’re resting on his shoulders.

  “Fuck,” he murmurs. “I think it’s hot, then it gets fucking hotter.”

  I smile against his flesh. “Of course it does, you’re with me.”

  He chuckles and then leans back, looking at me. His face is serious, but not angry. “I’m sorry, angel. I was a fucking dick and it wasn’t the right thing to do. I should have known better than to think I was protecting you. I wasn’t. Sheyenne is fucked up, but you’re right, we have to stop playing the game—I just need time to figure out how the hell to do that.”

  It doesn’t take away the hurt, but him saying sorry means something to me, so I’m not going to be a bitch about it.

  “It’s forgiven and I trust you, Tazen. I just don’t want to see her destroy anything else you’ve made.”

  He’s silent for a minute. His fingers go up and run through my hair, slowly untangling it and trailing it down my back.

  “You really want to keep the car?” he asks.

  I nod, loving how my skin feels as his fingers lightly glide over my hair and back.

  “It’s beautiful,” I whisper. “Something that beautiful should be cherished.”

  “Means a lot to me, that you feel that way about my cars.”

  “So you raced?” I whisper.

  He nods and I meet his gaze.

  “For how long?”

  He shrugs. “About two years. I loved it. I was building the cars, Sheyenne and I were together and she introduced me to it. Not only was I getting to build the car, I was driving it. I loved racing, but I love my cars more. I had to pick and when things went south with Sheyenne, I knew I had to give the racing up. I also knew it was risky for my business.”

  “And you were selling them illegally … that’s dangerous, Tazen.”

  He’s quiet for a minute. “Yeah, I know that. I made a mistake doing that, but sadly I’ve sold a fuck load to illegal races and sketchy people.”

  I sigh. “That’s such a risk, Tazen.”

  “Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to pull away from it. It won’t be easy but I am doing my best.”

  I press my cheek to his cheek. “I understand why you love it. I felt it out there, the adrenaline. It was amazing.”

  “It is,” he says fondly. “But it’s also distracting and dangerous.”

  “Yeah,” I agree. “I think I see that.”

  More silence.

  “Did Sheyenne really try and run you over?”

  He bursts out laughing, his body s
haking against mine. “Yeah, baby, she did.”

  I frown. “That’s not okay.”

  He laughs harder. “No, I think you’re right about that.”

  “Do you … think something is wrong with her?”

  He stops laughing and his arm tightens around me. “I…” He hesitates. “Yeah, I do. I don’t know what, but there’s more than just mood swings going on. She refuses to get help, she thinks we’re all crazy.”

  “Why didn’t you just cut ties when you broke it off with her? Do you…”

  He squeezes me tighter. “No, I don’t love her. I never loved her. I was infatuated with her, she intrigued me, but I was never at that point.”

  “Have you ever been at that point?”

  He’s silent for a while. “Yeah.”

  My heart twists and I swallow down my jealousy. I hate knowing there was a woman out there that had Tazen’s heart. It’s a beautiful heart to have, and I’m curious about what kind of girl managed to capture it.

  “Oh, when was that?”

  His silence stretches long, I wonder if it’s a story he doesn’t want to share. I’m not one to push, but I do hope he tells me. When he opens his mouth and answers, my entire world, which was in so many pieces, starts fusing back together. All with one, single word.

  “Now.”

  Now.

  Now.

  He has gone past that point … now.

  With me.

  Oh God.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Tazen and I part ways at the track, both of us slightly shaken by his words. He basically admitted he’s falling in love with me, and I said nothing. I just sat there, tucked up in his lap, completely speechless. I think he took it wrong, because he told me quickly that he had to go, kissed me and left. I curse myself that I didn’t say something, but I honestly didn’t know what to say.

  I feel the same, there’s no doubt about that, but … my life is so complicated. His is exactly where he wants it to be. I’m not sure us being so serious is going to work. He doesn’t know about my life. He hasn’t met my father. Jesus, we haven’t even spent a full night together. Sure, we’ve been together every day now for months, working and taunting, but that’s all there has been. I … want more.

  I want to know who Tazen Watts is.