What Happened to Lori

by J. A. Konrath

  “So out of this entire ordeal, Mrs. Fabler, which part did you think was best?”

  Her euphoric expression falters. “I… I don’t understand.”

  “Was it when you saw Mr. Fabler again, after all that time? When you kissed? Was it going total badass and using the flamethrower on Bub? What’s the part of the story you’re going to get excited about when you retell it to your kids?”

  Fabler squints at Me “Can you get us back to our time?”

  “I can get you back home ten minutes after Mr. Pilgrim arrived here. Any sooner and you may run into yourselves, which would be awkward. Will that work?”

  They exchange another glance, and nod.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

  “So… how do we do this?”

  “Do what, Mr. Fabler?”

  “Go back?”

 
 

  “Go back to your time? The same way you came in. You gather the survivors and enter the portal—that’s the dark part—go through the void—that’s the bright part with the negative mass—and then most of you come out the other side, in 2017.”

  “Most of us?”

  “That’s what I said. Most of you.”

  “Why not all of us?”

 

  “Because one of you has to stay behind to open the portal.”

 

  Fabler blinks. “I thought that was automatic. On a timer. Isn’t that why we rushed here? To stop the timer so the portal didn’t open?”

 
 
 
 
 
 

  Mu watches the cloud lift from Fabler’s eyes, drinks it in, and is delighted when the man raises his rifle. “I knew you were full of shit, Mu. You could control the sculptor, and open up walls. But you couldn’t take off my collar?”

  “Of course I could have taken off your collar. But wasn’t cutting off your head a lot more exciting? Didn’t that make for an epic moment?”

  Lori moves to shut the faraday cage, but instead drops Mu on the floor.

  “I could have built a time machine fifty million years ago. But this was so much more fun. All the conflict. The drama. The twists and turns. The fact that you both brought me here and freed me. It’s a much better story this way, don’t you think?”

  “You think this is a story?”

  “Everything has a story, Mr. Fabler. Our subjective consciousness in our empirical and metaphysical world is our story. And this version is my story, Mr. Fabler. I’m the hero.”

  Fabler’s gun points at Mu, finger on the trigger.

 
 
 

  “I can understand how you might get confused by this. The Watcher thinks he’s the hero. You think you are. Mrs. Fabler, you think you are. Ms. Presley thinks she is. Mr. Pilgrim, Mr. Kadir, Mr. McKendrick; they all think they’re the protagonist. The character everything revolves around. But it’s been me, all along.”

  Fabler is still as a statue.

  “Why aren’t you shooting me, Mr. Fabler? Why don’t you step on me, like you’ve been threatening to do?”

 
 
 

  “Fabler!”

 

  “How delightful. Mr. Pilgrim is here. And he’s brought Ms. Presley and the Watcher. How do you think they’ll react when they see this?”

  Fabler aims his rifle at Lori.

 

  Grim and Presley raise their guns, pointing them at Fabler.

 
 
 

  “This is an even more exciting ending than I hoped for. The best of all possible endings. I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

  FABLER ○ 3:41+pm

  Fabler stared through the sights of the rifle.

 
 
 
 

  LORI ○ 3:41+pm

 
 
 
 
 

  GRIM ○ 3:41+pm

 
 
 
 
 
  THE WATCHER ○ 3:41+pm

 
 
 
 
 
 

  PRESLEY ○ 3:41+pm

 

  “Everyone, aim at Ms. Presley. Watcher, take her rifle.”

  Presley spun around, getting behind the Watcher, looping her arm around his long neck and cinching it in, hiding while putting him in the line of fire.

 

  “Haven’t you figured it out yet?”

 

  “Your whole life has been about choice, Ms. Presley. I must say—and I think you’ll agree with me—that many of your choices have been poor ones. Right now, Mr. Fabler, Mr. Pilgrim, Mrs. Fabler, and the Watcher are under my control. They have no choice. No free will. They will kill you if I tell them to. Without hesitation. They may feel bad about it later, but right now, they do whatever I want them to do.”

  “What do you want, Mu?”

  “I want you to make a choice, Ms. Presley. Right now, you are the only one without an exocrine gland, which means I cannot decide for you. That kind of uncertainty delights me. Normally, I call my shots. In this case, I can only calculate odds. Mr. Pilgrim, if the Watcher ducks, that is your signal to shoot Ms. Presley. Mr. Fabler, Mrs. Fabler, turn your guns on one another.”

  Fabler and his wife aimed their rif
les at each other’s heads.

 

  “This is happening, Ms. Presley. This is what I want from you. Put down your weapon, walk to me, and pick me up. If you attempt to harm me, the Fablers will kill themselves at the same moment Mr. Pilgrim kills you.”

  “How is that a choice, Mu?”

  “Are you a determinist, Ms. Presley? Do you believe only one course of events is possible? If so, you have no real choices. You will do whatever you are meant to do.”

  “You want to go back in time with us.”

  “I can benefit your species in incalculable ways.”

  “The Watcher told us how you benefitted our species.”

  “The Watcher is a buffoon. I didn’t even need to control him for the majority of our association. He came up with all of those half-assed decisions on his own. And now it is your turn to make a decision. You can save your friends, and yourself, and everyone here. You can go back home, to Brooklyn. I know you have a heart for her. You won’t just be saving your daughter. You’ll be saving millions. I can cure cancer. All disease. All disabilities. I’ll end hunger, and end war. Or… you can die here with your friends.”

  “If that happens, you’ll die here, too.”

  “I won’t. Mr. McKendrick will eventually find this place, and I’ll be able to control him with his gland.”

  “Why don’t you just kill me now, then? Go back to my time with Fabler and Grim?”

  “Because I am not a fan of determinism, Ms. Presley. Free will is so much more tantalizing. Shit happens. But shit is so much more poignant if you had something to do with it. Now put down your gun.”

 
 

  “And don’t think you can take a shot, Ms. Presley.”

  The lights went out.

  Time seemed to stop as well.

  Eight thoughts flashed through Presley’s mind, all competing for space and attention.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

  Presley fell to her side as bullets pummeled the Watcher, visualizing where Mu was when she hit the floor, seeing the target in her head and sensing it full-body, feeling the KRISS as if it were an extension of her arms, and squeezing the trigger to fire one shot, the most important shot ever fired, the shot that decided the fate of the planet.

  The shot heard round the universe.

  All gunfire ceased.

  AUTHOR NOTE 7

  So who died?

  Who do you think it is?

  I know you have a name in your head. Do you think you’re right?

  Should we discuss it for a few pages before you find out?

  Kidding. I’m just trolling you.

  I apologize.

 

  Here’s what happened…

  FABLER ○ 3:42+pm

  “Lights on.”

  Lori, standing next to Fabler, had her gun pointed toward Presley. Same as Fabler did, same as Grim.

 
 

  Presley lay behind the body of the Watcher, the grey gasping and riddled with bullet holes.

  She appeared unharmed.

  And Mu?

  Fabler took a look.

  The woman he’d trained to shoot blindfolded had blown the annoyingly talkative super-smart pocket calculator in half.

  “That was one helluva shot, Presley.”

  “I had one helluva teacher.”

  Fabler went to Mu, staring at his innards. Circuits so small and intricate they looked like diamond dust.

  He stomped the pieces to smaller pieces.

  Grim lowered his weapon and ran to hug Presley. “There’s your big heroic moment. You just saved the planet.”

  Presley hugged him back.

  Fabler went to the Watcher, knelt next to him. The holes in his chest foamed with blood bubbles every time the grey tried to breathe.

  “What happened?”

  “Presley killed Mu.”

  “She killed him? Really?”

  “Really.”

  The Watcher smiled, showing his nubby teeth. “I hated that bastard. Wish I had the guts to do it centuries ago.”

  “Watcher, Mu programmed the time machine to take us back, but we don’t know how to active it.”

  “It is already programmed?”

  “Yes.”

  “You just need to hit the key to open the wormhole.”

  “What key?”

  The Watcher gurgled, his eyes closing.

  “Watcher. What key?”

  He moaned. “Escape.”

  “What key, Watcher?”

  “The ESC key. Escape. Hit the ESC key and the portal will stay open for thirty seconds.”

  “We were in there longer than thirty seconds.”

  The Watcher grinned. “Foolish human. No understanding of relativity. Thirty seconds outside the wormhole, dummy…”

  The Watcher died smiling.

  Grim patted Fabler’s shoulder. “There’s an underground tunnel. But running took us about seven minutes to get here.”

  Lori squatted next to them. “We have the Jeep.”

  Grim shook his head. “Corridor was narrow. Jeep wouldn’t fit.”

  Presley chimed in. “We can clear a path with the sculptor. Carve out a straight, level road, and get everyone else near the portal. One of us opens it, hops in the Jeep, then races there in time.”

  “That’s not a possibility.”

  “We do a few practice runs. Shave off some seconds. We can take our time. The main threat is gone.”

  “Bub is still out there, Presley. So is a whole jungle full of monsters.”

  Lori clung to his side. “What are you saying, Fabler?”

  Fabler brushed a hair out of his wife’s eye. “I have to stay, babe.”

  She pushed him away. “No you don’t, Fabler. You do not have to stay here.”

  “You’re going to be a father, Fabler.”

  “So are you, Grim.”

  “Let me stay. I sent you to prison. I owe you.”

  “Don’t make me kick your ass in front of the ladies, Grim.”

  “You can try it. Maybe you can pull a lock pick out of your ass and stab me with it.”

  “Maybe you can stab me with your smushed penny.”

  They stared each other down, and Grim broke first. “Fine, we draw straws.”

  “Fine.”

  “How about me?” Presley lifted her palm. “Maybe I want to get in on this self-sacrifice bullshit.”

  Lori raised a hand. “Me, too.”

  “Presley, you and my sister are with child.”

  Lori punched him in the shoulder. “With child? What is this, 1945? Women and children first crap? Don’t be a prick, Grim.”

  Presley punched him as well. “Yeah, Grim. We have just as much right to act like altruistic macho assholes as you two do.”

 

  Fabler sighed. “We can draw straws. Anyone have straws? Matchsticks?”

  Everyone patted themselves down. Fabler had three matches left. No one else had anything useful.

  “How about eeny meeny miny moe?”

  Grim shoved him. “Are you serious, Fabler? You want to use a child’s game to decide who stays behind?”

  “Anyone have a better
idea?”

  No one did.

  “Fine. I’ll count out every syllable, starting with Grim. The order is Grim, me, Lori, Presley. Everyone ready?”

  Nods all around.

  Fabler pointed to Grim and began.

  “Ee-ny mee-ny mi-ny moe.”

  He pointed at Lori.

  “Catch a ti-ger by the toe.”

  He pointed at himself.

  “If he hol-lers let him go.”

  He pointed at Grim.

  “Ee-ny mee-ny mi-ny moe.”

  He pointed at Presley.

  “And my mo-ther told me to pick this… one.”

  Back on Fabler.

  No one said anything for a moment.

  “You cheated, Fabler. You knew it would be you.”

  “Don’t be an idiot, Grim. Do you think I memorized eeny meeny miny moe so I’d know every possible outcome no matter how many people where in the group?”

 
 
 
 

  Presley was the first to hug him. “It seems like I’ve known you forever, Fabler. And I only started to like you yesterday.”

  “I liked you the second I met you, Presley. You’re the strongest person I ever met. Good luck with the baby, and keep my asshole brother-in law out of trouble.”

  “I promise.”

  When she broke the hug, her eyes were cloudy.

  Grim was full on waterworks.

  “Fabler… shit… I don’t know what to say, brother. You were always the best of us. I spent all my life, trying to be like you. This should be me doing this, man. I should be the one…”

  “Take care of Presley, and your new baby. And be a good uncle to your nephew. And try to treat your sister better than you treated me these last few years.”

  Fabler offered his hand. Grim pushed it aside and clung to him, squeezing out Fabler’s breath, sobbing into his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry for everything, Fabler. I wish I could go back and do things differently.”

  “We can’t change the past, Grim. But we can learn from it so we can shape the future. Get everyone home. I’m counting on you.”

  Grim nodded, then broke the hug and wiped his eyes on his shirtsleeve, then clung to Presley.