I smiled when I felt a small kick from her. Her movements had slowed in the last few weeks, which I’d learned was usual as they got too big to move freely in the womb. I hadn’t told Dan yet that I wanted to call her Eva, after my mother. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about that, whether he’d find it weird. I immediately felt guilty. Here I was being angry with him for hiding Molly’s concerns from me and I hadn’t even discussed the name I wanted to call our daughter. I continued to breathe slowly in and out, trying to calm myself back down and not think about our minor tensions, or the possibility of Brooke being seriously ill. It had just been the two of us for so long, until we found Dan and Molly. She was as good as a sister to me. I loved Molly and Jenny, but the connection I had to Brooke was so much stronger. I cursed myself when I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. What if she did have cancer and it was too late to treat her? All because she’d been her stubborn self and refused to see a doctor? I looked up when I heard a rap at the door, but everything was blurred by the salt stinging my eyes.
‘Ellie, what’s going on? You’ve been gone ages. Is everything ok?’ Dan called.
‘No, I need you,’ I sobbed. I didn’t care that I was mad with him anymore. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be ok, but I couldn’t seem to move, much as I wanted to. Seconds later, he was crouching in front of me, wiping my tears away.
‘Do we need to get to the hospital?’
‘No. It’s Brooke, what if she’s really ill?’
‘Then I’ll pay for the best specialist money can buy and we’ll make her better. I don’t care what it costs, ok? Please try and calm down, crying isn’t going to help her and it’s not going to help you or our daughter.’
‘Eva, I want to call her Eva,’ I sniffed, attempting a smile.
‘Eva, like your mum?’
‘Yes, ok?’ I asked hesitantly.
‘Eva Davenport,’ he said slowly, testing the name. ‘I love it.’
‘You’re not just saying that because I’m a crying mess and you’re scared of my hormonal mood swings?’
‘I am scared of your hormonal mood swings, but I’m man enough to stand my ground when I don’t agree with something. I think it’s a beautiful name and the perfect way to honour your mum. Come on, the food arrived soon after I rang them, it was already on the way. You’ll feel better when you’ve had something to eat. You can relax with the girls for a while, but I want you to have an early night and I won’t accept any arguments on that front. My little girl needs you to stay as stress-free as possible.’ He stood up and held out his hands. I took them and let him pull me up, grateful my cramps seemed to have gone as fast as they came on. He turned me sideways and pulled me against him, encouraging me to lean my head on his muscular chest as he kissed the top of my head. ‘I’m sorry for keeping you in the dark, but this is why. Look at the state you’ve got yourself in. I was just trying to protect you.’
‘I know,’ I whispered. ‘I’m sorry I’m so cranky.’
‘Don’t worry. I called John and asked him to pull his mask and cape out of retirement for you when he comes to visit,’ he chuckled, making me smile. He held my hips at the sink while I grabbed some cotton wool out of the guest cabinet and used some hot water to remove my streaked mascara. I soon smiled when he led me by the hand back into the open-plan lounge kitchen and diner. Everyone was around the table, Jonas in his high chair banging his spoon on his tray.
‘Mama,’ he cried, giving me a wide smile.
‘Hello, gorgeous,’ I smiled, kissing the top of his head. Brooke frowned at me as she caught my eye. She always knew when I’d been crying.
‘Ok?’ she mouthed.
‘I’m fine,’ I lied, swallowing hard to stop myself from crying again. Molly was right, she had lost weight and looked paler than normal. How had I not seen that until now?
Day Four
Tuesday 8th October
Dan
‘Stuart,’ I called, holding down the intercom button. ‘Can I see you in my office as soon as possible?’
‘Of course, Sir. On my way.’
I leaned back in my chair and covered my eyes, taking a deep breath to let out some of the tension I was feeling. I hadn’t wanted to leave Ellie this morning, but she’d insisted there was nothing I could do for her, or for Brooke. She was going to have Brooke, Molly, and James with her when she went out. Her caesarean was scheduled for Thursday, two weeks before her due date, so nothing was likely to happen. Until Brooke had a referral letter from the doctor, there was nothing I could do there either. I felt fucking useless at the moment. Usually burying myself in work helped take my mind off my problems, but so far today it wasn’t working. I quickly pulled myself together as I heard the buzzer go to indicate someone was at my door. I checked the feed on my computer to see it was Stuart and let him in.
‘Thanks, Stuart.’ I managed a smile when he handed over a mug of coffee. I hadn’t even asked for one, but he knew me well.
‘I’ve dealt with your correspondence this morning, you just need to sign these letters. I’ve re-scheduled nearly all of your meetings that were due to take place in October, to make sure that you have no additional distractions when Mrs. Davenport has your daughter. I’m afraid that this means you’ll have a rather full diary for November and December.’ He gave me an apologetic smile as I sipped on my coffee.
‘No apology necessary, Stuart. Important as work is, my family is my priority right now. Thank you for taking care of that for me. Did you encounter any problems?’
‘No, Sir. Everyone was more than understanding, knowing that you’re about to become a father again.’
‘But?’ I prodded. I’d known him too long, he was shielding me from something. He went red, broke my gaze, and coughed. ‘Stuart, spit it out.’
‘There’s the small matter of Mrs. Davenport’s eternity ring, Sir.’
‘I thought it had been delivered and was in the vault downstairs?’
‘It is. I’m sorry to bring this up, but the invoice from Havershams …’ his voice trailed off as he rubbed his hand over his mouth. I bolted upright in my seat.
‘Shit, haven’t I paid for it?’
‘No, Sir. It was delivered while you were on holiday celebrating your anniversary.’
‘How much do I owe them? It’s not like them to deliver without payment.’
‘They delivered because I paid for it, Sir. I wanted to make sure you had it ready the moment Mrs. Davenport gave birth.’
‘You paid for it? Stuart, from memory the budget I set to have it designed wasn’t cheap. I pay you well, but not that well.’ I frowned as I waited for his response. I’d asked Havershams to design a channel-set diamond eternity ring with three emeralds interspersed, one to represent each of our three children. I’d insisted on top grade diamonds and emeralds with as near to flawless clarity as possible.
‘You were more than generous giving me shares in the company after my five years of service, Sir. I’ve made a lot of money on them, especially in the last few years, so it was just a matter of accessing my savings.’
‘You should have reminded me sooner, Stuart, that’s going above and beyond. If you can bring me the ring and the invoice before I leave today, I’ll arrange an immediate transfer, including some extra for any loss of interest you’ve incurred.’
‘Not necessary at all, Sir,’ he replied with a shake of his head.
‘No arguments, my word is final. I truly appreciate the gesture, Stuart, thank you.’
‘I have Parkers on standby with a congratulations bouquet, balloon, and pink teddy bear. The moment you let me know Miss Davenport has arrived safely, I’ll instruct delivery.’
‘Have I told you lately how much I value you?’ I smiled. I’d be so lost without him to organise my affairs.
‘It’s been a while, Sir,’ he smiled in response.
‘Then you’d better schedule a weekly reminder for me,’ I winked, making him laugh.
‘How is the project c
oming along?’
‘Very good,’ I nodded. ‘I’ve pretty much completed the software side of it, now we’re just working on the delivery system. I should have a prototype ready within six months, which I’ll want to test myself before we try a backup.’
‘I really don’t think Mrs. Davenport will be pleased if she hears your plans for that,’ Stuart grimaced.
‘Maybe not, but the benefits could far outweigh any irritation at being kept out of the loop.’ I rolled my shoulders, quickly easing out the sudden tension in my muscles. If Ellie found out about this project and what I had planned, she’d likely divorce me for not consulting her, but it was too important to risk an argument and her putting her foot down. Sometimes decisions needed to be made in a marriage without consulting the other party.
‘I agree, but I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes when she finds out. Will you ever tell her?’
‘Honestly, at this stage I’m thinking no. She’s better off not knowing, but I don’t like keeping things from her. It got me into a lot of hot water last time and nearly led to us never getting together.’
‘I don’t envy you, Sir. I’m not sure what I’d do in your position either. I have no other business for you. What did you need from me?’
I ran through my substantial list, grateful to have Stuart to distract me from worrying about Ellie.
Ellie
I gathered Oliver up in my arms and gave him a big cuddle and kiss, then did the same to Jonas. I was shattered. I’d hardly slept all night worrying about Brooke and I’d kept poor Dan awake too with my tossing and turning. It was bad enough having a sleepless night normally, but with my huge baby bump, I just couldn’t get comfortable at all. He’d been reluctant to leave me to go to the office this morning, but I reminded him that if I had any problems, there wasn’t anything he could do that my best friends couldn’t. Knowing he wasn’t too far away was reassuring though.
‘I hope it goes ok,’ whispered Jenny as we had a hug in Oliver’s bedroom, where they were all playing. I’d confided in her when I’d asked her to look after the boys last night.
‘Thank you. I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it if it’s bad news.’
‘You will, you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Ellie. Don’t worry about these two, I’ll keep them occupied. Just let me know if you’ll be coming back for lunch, as we’re having pizza and I’ll need to order more.’
‘Pizza? Yum yum,’ Oliver grinned with a clap of his hands.
‘Yum yum,’ chortled Jonas, copying his big brother and making me laugh.
‘Be good boys for Jenny, Mummy will be back later, ok?’
‘I look after Jo-Jo,’ Oliver announced, giving him a cuddle and a wet kiss on the forehead. I smiled. They loved each other so much. I really hoped that another baby, a girl no less, would be received just as well. I headed downstairs to find Brooke and Molly in the lounge.
‘Ok, let’s go,’ I announced, checking my watch. We’d managed to get an emergency appointment with Brooke’s doctor for ten o’clock. It was only nine now, but we needed to get across the city.
‘Why do we have to go out shopping so early?’ Brooke moaned, getting up off the sofa and pulling up her jeans. They were falling off her and it only served to heighten the anxiety I was already feeling.
‘Because we want to get it all done and have a bite to eat for lunch, sweetie,’ Molly advised, reaching for her hand. I looked away, Brooke always knew when I was lying.
‘It had better be a fancy lunch for dragging me out of bed at this hour on my time off. I was fast asleep and I’d have loved a lie in. I was hoping Oliver and Jonas would come and have cuddles in bed.’
‘They’ll have cuddles with you later, and you’re welcome to have both of them in bed with you tomorrow, it gives me a few extra precious minutes. Come on,’ I called over my shoulder as I headed for the stairs. ‘Let’s move.’
‘Let’s move,’ Brooke laughed. ‘The rate you go down the stairs, we could have another cup of coffee. You ought to put in a fireman’s pole here, or a slide so you can whizz from the top of the house to the bottom superfast.’
‘Brooke,’ scolded Molly, as I hung on to the banister and took my time. ‘Don’t pressure her. After what she went through, I’m amazed she can go on the stairs at all.’
‘I know, I was just being me, teasing. Sorry, Ellie.’
‘That’s ok,’ I called, not taking my focus off my feet.
‘Well don’t,’ Molly warned behind me. ‘She has enough on her plate.’
‘What’s got your knickers in a twist? You’re really grumpy this morning. In fact, not just this morning, you’ve been like this for ages. What’s going on?’
‘Nothing, I’m just tired, that’s all,’ Molly replied.
‘Then let’s not go shopping, we can all chill out. I mean, Ellie’s having Eva in a couple of days and what if the stress of shopping makes her pop today? What if her waters break in some posh shop? Or worse, what if baby Davenport ends up being delivered in some discount store? You wouldn’t want to tell people “My baby was born in the 99 pence store,” would you? I mean, you’d want it to be somewhere like Harrods. Oooo, in fact, to make up for dragging me out at this ungodly hour, let’s go to Harrods and we can have champagne and oysters, babe.’
‘Ellie’s pregnant, she can’t have either,’ Molly reminded her.
‘O yeah,’ she sighed. ‘Where are we going to go then?’
I gritted my teeth as I headed to the front door and they argued over where to go for lunch. Brooke was likely to blow a fuse when she discovered the real reason for our early departure. Luckily for us, she fell asleep in the limo, so we didn’t get an endless stream of questions as to why we were heading away from the shops and towards her house. I squeezed Molly’s hand when I caught her gazing at Brooke with a sad expression on her face.
‘It’ll be fine,’ I advised, trying my best reassuring tone, when really I wasn’t totally convinced it would be fine myself.
‘You’re just saying that to be nice,’ Molly said quietly, giving me a small, tight-lipped smile.
‘It will be, because it has to be,’ I muttered stubbornly. ‘We’re not losing her, Molly. Whatever’s wrong, we’re going to fix it. Dan will pay whatever he needs to if she needs any treatment. She’ll have the best possible care and she’ll be fine.’
‘I really wish I believed that,’ she whispered, tears starting to roll down her face. ‘She’s my best friend and the love of my life, Ellie. I can’t lose her, I just can’t. Where would I ever find someone like her again?’
‘She’s one of a kind, that’s for sure,’ I nodded, battling tears myself as I put my arm around her. ‘They broke the mould when they made Brooke. Please don’t cry, you know what I’m like at the moment and I’m on the verge of sobbing as it is. If she wakes up to find us both in tears, she’ll know something’s up and all hell is going to break loose. You already know how mad she’s going to be that we’ve dragged her here without her permission. Let’s not make it worse, ok?’
‘You’re right,’ Molly sniffed, pulling a tissue from her bag and blowing her nose. ‘I’m sorry, you don’t need all this extra worry right now either. You shouldn’t be having to deal with this.’
‘Hey, she’s my best friend, as are you. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.’
‘Thanks, Ellie,’ she nodded, resting her head on my shoulder. ‘You’re the best.’
We didn’t talk for the rest of the journey, but we held each other’s hands tightly all the way there. James pulled up on the street outside the surgery and lowered the privacy screen.
‘We’re here, Mrs. Davenport. If I’m asked to move on, then I’ll circle the block until you call to tell me that you’re ready. Please wait inside until I come and get you, I don’t want you going anywhere else.’
‘I won’t, James, thank you.’
‘I’ll come and get the door for you,’ he nodded, sliding the screen back up. Molly
and I looked at each other with a nod and a sigh, preparing for the worst.
‘Brooke, sweetie, it’s time to wake up. Brooke?’ Molly leaned over and gently shook Brooke’s arm.
‘What, huh, what?’ she groaned, half opening her eyes.
‘Promise me you won’t be mad?’ Molly pleaded as Brooke rubbed her face.
‘Mad at what? Have you brought me to the bloody DIY store again? You know I hate that place. I swear, if I have to look at one more floating bloody shelf, to hold your smelly Yankee doodle fucking dandy candles you love so much, I’ll toss them all out.’
‘So, if we’re not at the DIY store, you won’t shout at me?’ Molly tested. I had my fingers curled tightly around the seat belt over my stomach, bracing myself for Brooke’s reaction.
‘Sure, whatever. Let’s shop, but can we stop at Starbucks first? I need a drink and something to eat already. I feel a bit lightheaded.’
‘We’re at the doctors,’ Molly said as fast as she could.
‘O no, Ellie, what’s wrong? Has it started?’ Brooke quickly flicked her eyes down to my skirt, presumably checking that my waters hadn’t broken. Molly grimaced and looked at me for support, as James opened the door for us.
‘There’s nothing wrong with me, Brooke. We’re here for you. You’ve lost weight, you’re tired all the time, and you look pale. As funny as you peeing your pants on a regular basis is, it’s not normal. I know Molly’s been asking you to go to the doctors for a while, so today we’ve made you an appointment and we’re not taking any arguments, you’re going in.’
31 Days of Autumn Page 5