What She Needs

by Danyiel Nicole

  “What?” I ask almost blushing.

  “Nothing, it’s just that you’re so beautiful,” he responds without a second thought.

  “I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment given that odd piece of artwork in your living room,” I say jokingly.

  He feigns a hurt expression. “That painting is an original Picasso and it’s priceless.”

  “Yeah, I’d give it away, too.”

  “You have to be a true lover of art to appreciate Picasso’s work.”

  “And you are?”

  “Oh yes. All of the artwork I own is original, but I tend to buy it for crazy reasons.”

  I smile at him and decide to humor myself. “What exactly was your crazy reason for buying an oil painting of half-naked women with disfigured faces and triangle shaped boobs?”

  He laughs at my question. “Les Demoiselles d’Avignon is from Picasso’s African period. I purchased it because my mother is from Africa. Kenya to be specific,” he adds matter-of-factly.

  “Oh, is your father from Kenya, too?”

  “No, my father is from Jamaica. My parents met here in the United Kingdom.”

  “What about siblings?”

  “Yes, I have a younger sister, Ava, she’s in her first year of college at Oxford,” he smiles.

  “Mr. Stansbury said your father went to Oxford. Is it like some sort of a family tradition?”

  “No, not really, I went to Yale.”

  Oh.

  “What about you?” He asks.

  I look at him confused.

  “Where are your parents from? Do you have any siblings? What college did you go to?”

  My heart instantly constricts. I’ve never had to explain my parents to anyone because everyone who knows me already knows what happened to them. I never thought that meeting anyone new would make me have to relive the horror of losing my mom and dad. I take a bite of my waffle and swallow hard to suppress the lump threatening to form in my throat.

  “Alicia?”

  “Yes?” I answer realizing that I’ve been daydreaming.

  He chuckles. “I’m waiting.”

  “Oh, I don’t have any siblings. I’m an only child, and my parents are both from Atlanta, Georgia. They moved to Florida after my mom got pregnant with me, and I went to University of Florida.” I’m doing a good job holding myself together.

  “So, how do your parents feel about their newly single, only child being halfway across the world alone?”

  “I don’t know for sure how they feel, but my mom would probably be mad that I got a divorce and my dad would support my decision.”

  He looks at me confused. “Do you not talk to your parents?”

  I take a deep breath and will myself to say the words I’ve never had to say to anyone before. “My parents were killed a couple of years back in a plane crash.” I’m fighting back tears because I don’t want to cry in front of him. I don’t want him to think I’m weak.

  “Alicia, I’m sorry . . . I . . . I didn’t know,” he stutters.

  “Of course you didn’t know, silly. We just met,” I laugh it off in hopes of lightening our conversation.

  “So you’re pretty much in this big world all alone.”

  “You can say that, aside from my best friend Tamia, her boyfriend Marcus and their daughter Brittany.”

  “We’ll see what we can do about that.” He smiles at me showing off his pearly white teeth.

  What? Now I’m confused.

  He sighs. “I know it may take some time, given your recent divorce, but when you’re ready, I’d like to be a part of your world . . . When you’re ready.” He repeats the last part because he knows how I’ll respond.

  I shove more food in my mouth because I don’t want to respond. What do I say to that? Less than 6 hours ago, David had his face planted between my legs making sweet love to me with his mouth. I can’t possibly sit here and plan my future with Heath right now.

  David!

  How do I tell Heath that David is here visiting me? I don’t want to scare him off; he might be the perfect guy for me. I haven’t agreed to date him exclusively, but I see potential in him. He’s clearly intelligent: he’s interested in art and the way our conversation flowed last night was wonderful. In all of the time David and I were together, he never showed the genuine interest in me that Heath showed last night. Heath just seems like my type: a man who appreciates simple things and isn’t intimidated by a successful woman, he encourages it instead.

  “Alicia, I said when you’re ready. You don’t have to keep stuffing your mouth to avoid conversation,” he says jokingly.

  I look up at him and smile.

  “I don’t want to hear about how the ink on your divorce papers is barely dry, nor do I want to hear that you don’t think you’re ready. Just tell me you’ll give me a chance when you get ready. I’m not in any particular rush, but I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting my time, either.”

  Do you want to hear that my ex-husband is here visiting?

  “When I’m ready, I promise you’ll be the first to know.”

  He lets out a satisfied sigh as if that’s all he wanted me to say. “I like the sound of that. So, what are we doing this weekend?”

  Shit.

  Just as I’m about to speak, Benjamin enters the dining room and clears his throat to get our attention. “Sir, your father is on the phone. I told him you were in a breakfast meeting, but he insists that this is very important.”

  I mentally sag to the ground.

  “Alicia, if you’ll excuse me. I have to take this call,” Heath says before he stands and walks into another room. Benjamin leaves behind him. After several moments he returns with a disappointed look on his face and takes the seat next to me. “I have to leave to go to Switzerland for a couple of days. I’m sorry this is so sudden, but there are some unexpected things that need to be taken care of at one of the work-sites.”

  “Is everything ok?” I ask, doing my best to try to sound concerned, but inwardly I’m hoping he’ll be gone for the whole time David is here.

  “I’m not really sure, my father didn’t elaborate.” He’s looking at me as if he really doesn’t want to leave. “Benjamin,” he calls out without taking his eyes off me.

  “Yes Sir,” Benjamin is at the entrance in no time responding.

  “Can you please pack me some clothes? I have to go to Switzerland, I’ll need to leave here in about two hours.”

  “How long will you be there, Sir?”

  “I’ll be returning on Wednesday.” Heath still hasn’t taken his eyes off of me.

  “Will there be anything else, Sir?”

  “No, that’s all. Thank you.”

  With that said, Benjamin turns and leaves the room.

  I sigh inwardly because my prayer has been answered. It would be far too stressful to try to balance both men at the same time. Even though I’ve made up my mind that I won’t have anything to do with David once he leaves.

  He grabs my hand and the electric spark that only he makes me feel starts to radiate through me. “Would you like to come with me?” His words take on a different meaning to me.

  Yes I would like to come with you. “I. . . . I can’t,” I stutter.

  He smiles, no doubt because he feels the spark, too.

  “I have too much to do before the firm opens next Monday. I still haven’t hired an assistant.” I’m working double-time to control my heartbeat and my hormones.

  “I figured it was worth a try. Would you like to join me in the sitting room until it’s time for me to leave?”

  “Don’t you have to get packed?”

  He shakes his head. “No, Benjamin will take care of everything.” He stands without letting go of my hand. “Will you join me now? I really don’t have that much time.”

  I nod then stand, allowing him to lead me into his sitting room. We sit down on the sofa, my hand still in his and we talk about his studies at Yale.

  “What did you major in?”
I ask.

  “I was pre-med and I also did a couple of years in medical school,” he says in that voice that would make me want to be one of his patients. “But,” he continues, “I eventually left because I realized that being a physician or a surgeon was my mother’s dream and not my own. You see, Alicia, there are so many more things to be passionate about than performing surgeries on sick people. What about you? Why did you go into finance?” He asks.

  “Well, I’ve known since high school that I wanted to be a businesswoman and I’ve stopped at nothing to reach my goals. My mother, on the other hand, just wanted me to marry a wealthy man like she did so that I can depend on him, but I think I inherited my father’s drive and ambition.”

  “I can see that, almost thirty and taking on a CEO position. That’s quite impressive.”

  “Thanks,” I respond, blushing.

  If anything about Heath St. James captures my heart, it will be the fact that he, unlike David, is going to let me be myself. He doesn’t seem intimidated by the fact that I’m not even thirty and I’m going to be the Chief Executive Officer of one of the most prestigious investment firms in the world, he’s not wavered by the fact that I’m smart and confident. But why would he be? He was studying to become a doctor. The thing I’m going to like about him the most is that, right now, he isn’t hounding me about having children and I don’t have to explain my infertility to him. I’m sure that I will one day soon, but right now it’s not even part of our conversation.

  “Alicia, may I ask you something without making you upset?” Heath asks me.

  I think about it for a moment then nod giving him the okay.

  “What caused your divorce?” My eyebrows furrow, but he immediately starts to defend his question. “Not to upset you, but I would like to know what your ex-husband did so that I won’t do it. You see, there is something about you Alicia. I don’t know what it is, but ever since that day you walked out of the powder room in your office, I’ve wanted you. Even after you rejected me and told me that you were married. When I came back home, all I did was think about you. I wanted you in any way I could have you and I still do. The other night when you walked out into the hallway I saw my “upset neighbor” I thought it was my chance to get the woman I want. I’m willing to let you take your time, because I’ll wait forever for you. I just don’t want to mess things up between us in the process.”

  My heart is on the verge of melting. In all the time I was with David, he never said anything so sweet and genuine to me. I take a deep breath and tell myself that I’m not going to cry while I explain this. “It was a combination of things, but the straw that broke the camel’s back was when he cheated on me with his secretary and got her pregnant.”

  His eyes stretch wide at my confession. I’m just happy I was able to spit it out without getting emotional. To me, that’s a step in the direction of getting over David. Now all I have to do is get through the next couple of days and he will be out of my life for good.

  “Alicia, this is probably going to be hard to process, but I’d never do anything like that to you. If you allow me, I will prove it.”

  I smile at him.

  “That is . . . when you’re ready.”

  I wink at him. “I’ll hold you to it.”

  We stare into each other’s eyes for several moments not saying a word. I’m afraid because I think I’m falling for him and he seems too good to be true. He is the exact opposite of David from his interest in me and my career to the way our conversations flow. I like him and I’m willing to give him a chance, but I can’t commit right now because I would be cheating if I decide to give it up to David.

  “Just do me one favor.” Heath breaks our silence. “Think about it while I’m in Switzerland. There are so many things I want to show you, so many things I want to tell you but I want to know that I have you first . . . Just think about it Alicia.”

  I nod and smile because that’s all I can do as a reaction. Nobody has ever been so direct with me. I’ve never met a guy who knows what he wants and is not afraid to ask for it.

  “Is that a yes?” Heath asks with a smile on his face.

  I nod and smile again. “Yes!”

  “Good,” he says. Then he lets go of my hand and I feel a weird aftershock. I don’t have enough time to question it because he’s pulled me into his embrace and is kissing me, like the fact that I said I’d think about being in a relationship meant the world to him. His lips are soft and his tongue is so gentle and warm against mine, making every hair follicle on my body stand at attention. I kiss him back and he moans from deep within his chest sending a direct signal to my little lady. He puts one hand on my thigh and the other on my back and I feel that pull of electricity I tend to feel whenever he touches me, double-time. It feels so good that I don’t want to question my connection with him. Our tongues are intertwining but he is in control of this kiss and if I’m not careful, he will be in control of my body; I’m not ready for that.

  His phone rings and he answers. “Heath St. James,” he says with his lips still pressed against mine. He sits back and listens to what the person says on the other end. “Okay, I’ll be right down.” He looks at me like he’s not ready to go. “Benjamin has everything packed up and my car is ready to leave. We’ll pick up where we left off when I return.”

  “Okay,” I say still trying to catch my breath from the kiss.

  He stands and reaches for my hand again. “Come,” he says with authority, “we can take the elevator together.”

  “Aren’t you going to change?” I asked looking at his sweatpants and T-shirt.

  “I’ll change on the plane. Benjamin has packed enough clothes.”

  We walk hand in hand to the front door and to the elevator, not letting go until we reach my floor. Before I step off, he pulls his wallet out of his pocket and hands me a business card. “My cell number is on there; please call me so that I can store your number. I realized that we didn’t exchange numbers last night and I really wanted to talk to you.”

  He leans in and kisses me one last time, letting his tongue explore my mouth once again as his hands caress my behind. My little lady is wetter than the Pacific Ocean and I’m borderline dizzy.

  “Okay,” I say just above a whisper because it was all I could regain of my voice, and then step off the elevator into my apartment.

  I check my phone for any missed calls and, of course, I have several from David. Ignoring them, I dial Heath’s number and he answers on the second ring. We talk for a little bit and I promise him, again, that I will think about our exclusivity and confirm that I will see him on Wednesday. I also add that I will email him while I’m at work.

  “I’m going to miss you, Alicia,” he says after a long silent pause.

  “I’m going to miss you, too, Heath,” I say without a second thought which surprises me. After a brief conversation we hang up.

  I go to my room and make myself come the best way I know how, then wash up and get ready to spend time with David.

  Ugh, what have I agreed to?

  chapter 3

  “Can this fucking door open any faster?” I yell to the poor flight attendant on the chartered jet that David and I are on. I’m über pissed. I squeeze through the door as soon as there is enough room for me to get by and then stomp across the tarmac to our awaiting car. David is right on my heels.

  “Alicia, I’m not lying. I’m not in a relationship with Lauren; we’re just co-parenting,” David insists.

  “I told you I don’t want to hear it, David! If you’re just co-parenting with her, then why do you feel the need to lie about where you are and who you’re with?”

  David stares at me. He’s lost for words, I’m sure. We’ve been arguing for the last hour of our trip back from Italy.

  “Alicia I . . .”

  “I said I don’t want to hear it David! I distinctly heard you tell her that you loved her.” I stop him in the middle of whatever lie he’s about to tell me.

  “I didn’t
say it to Lauren. I had her put the phone on speaker and I was talking to Skye.”

  I let out a frustrated sigh and roll my eyes at him. He knows I don’t believe that shit.

  “Can you at least let me take you home?”

  “No thanks, I’ll just take the metro. It stops right by my place.”

  “Licia don’t be ridiculous. It’s almost ten o’clock; there is no way I’m letting you ride home via public transportation with all those bags at this hour.”

  “Then what do you suggest, because you are not welcome at my place right now.” I’m looking his two-timing ass straight in the eyes. “I have an idea; you can keep your shit, and I will take the metro. Give them to Lauren when you get back home for all I fucking care.”

  “Licia,” He sighs and pinches his forehead, sounding just as frustrated as I am. “Why are you so damned stubborn? If I wanted Lauren to have things from a shopping trip in Italy, I would have taken her, so, no, you can keep the things. There is no way in hell I’m going to let you take the metro at this hour. It’s not up for discussion. I will have the car service drop you off in front of The Vue, then I’ll have it bring me back to my apartment. How does that sound?” He’s searching my face for confirmation but his tone is telling me he’s not taking no for an answer.

  “Fine David, do what makes you smile,” I do my best to sound annoyed. The truth is as much as I don’t want to be in his presence for another minute, I really don’t want to brave that ride on the metro, either.

  David asks the driver, who I just noticed has been staring at us for the last ten minutes while we debate on how I’m going to get home, to open the trunk and load our things into it, and then we get into the car. I close my eyes because I don’t want to see or have to speak to David.

  ***

  On Saturday, after my almost perfect breakfast date with Heath, I took the metro to meet David in London City. We went to some of the local shops, learned about some of the culture of England at a museum, and then we had lunch.

  He explained to me that he came, although I asked him not to, because he regrets everything he’d done to me leading up to our divorce, and that he wanted us to work out our problems and move ahead with our relationship. I told him that what happened last night was a mistake caused by all of the emotions I’d been feeling and missing out on since we got divorced. I also explained to him that it would never happen again and that I have no intentions on rekindling our relationship. I didn’t tell him about Heath because I didn’t want to have to answer questions about him. Honestly, it isn’t David’s business who I’m seeing because he isn’t my companion anymore.