What She Needs

by Danyiel Nicole

  “Um . . . sure. We’re adults right?”

  His eyes light up and he gives me a smile that shows off all of the teeth in his mouth. He gets up from his seat, walks around the counter to where I am standing, and hugs me tight, lifting me up off the floor. When he puts me back down we are kissing, all lips and tongue. When we break away from the kiss he is still holding me in his arms.

  “I’m going to go home and make a couple of calls and get some of my things and I’ll see you in a little bit,” he says, looking into my eyes as if he’s trying to find my soul.

  “Okay,” I whisper, caught in his spell.

  I walk him to the door. Before he leaves, he turns around and kisses me on the forehead; I smile back at him.

  What have I agreed to?

  I go into my bedroom, take off my clothes and bra and look for something more comfortable to change into. I choose a pair of plaid pajama shorts and a cami. I slip on my fuzzy bunny slippers and head back into the kitchen to start cooking a dinner tasty enough to make Heath believe in my culinary abilities.

  As I’m seasoning the chicken I hear my cell phone ring. I pull it out of my purse to see who it is and turn my nose up when I notice that it’s David.

  Ugh . . . Fuck my life.

  I roll my eyes as if he can see me and answer the phone. “Mr. Barfield, how can I help you?” I say trying my best not to show how annoyed I am.

  “Hey, I just wanted you to know that I made it home okay,” he says.

  “Well that’s good.”

  “What are you doing? Do you miss me yet?”

  “I’m cooking actually. Um, David, you know the conversation we had before you left, and not to be rude, but no, I don’t miss you. I’m embarking on a new journey and I’m moving on. It will help me out a bunch if you didn’t call as much. I . . . I don’t mind you calling every now and then, but don’t call asking if I miss you because you’re going to get an answer you’re not looking for.” Standing up to him gets easier by the day.

  “I’m sorry Alicia; I don’t mean to upset you.”

  “I’m not upset. I just feel that you need to know these things before you start to get me upset.”

  “Well I just wanted you to know I arrived safely.”

  “Good, we’ll talk soon. Good-bye David.”

  “Good-bye Alicia.” He sounds sad.

  I hang up before he tries to say anything else. I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings, but then again, all the shit he’s put me through within the last year doesn’t remotely compare to my being short with him. I honestly don’t care if he never calls me again. I wash my hands and continue on the task at hand, putting David in the back of my mind.

  ***

  As I’m putting the finishing touches on dinner there is a knock on my door. I answer it, and, of course it’s Heath. He’s wearing a pair of jeans that fit nicely, a Ralph Lauren Polo shirt, a pair of Michael Jordan flip flops and he’s carrying his overnight bag on his shoulder. He looks me over and smiles. “You have the sexiest little body,” he says as he walks through the door.

  “How long are you planning on staying?” I ask ignoring his flirtatious comment and eyeing that huge bag he’s carrying on his shoulder. “Come on, you can put it in the room.” On the way down the hall, Heath smacks me playfully on my behind taking me completely by surprise. I yelp and start laughing. When we make it to the room I tell him he can put his bag anywhere, as I walk into my closet to get something to change into. He follows me in.

  “What are you doing?” Heath asks watching me as I fumble through my clothes.

  “Looking for something to wear,” I answer.

  “For what? Don’t change. I like what you’re wearing now.” That look in his eyes just about sets my little lady on fire.

  “W . . . well o . . . okay,” I manage to stutter. I walk into the bathroom and wash my face; it’s the least I can do. When I walk back out, he is sitting on my bed. “Are you ready for dinner?” I ask, holding my hand out for him to take, then lead him down the hall to the kitchen. He takes his seat on one of the barstools as I walk over to fix his plate; fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, green beans and buttermilk biscuits. I admit that I got a little out of hand when I was cooking but he challenged me, and I never back down from a challenge. I fix my plate and put it down, then fix our drinks of iced tea, the closest I can get to southern style. “Do you like iced tea? I know you English people like your tea hot.”

  “I learned to like it at that restaurant I was telling you about,” he says, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off his plate.

  “I have soda, water, and wine if you don’t want the tea,” I say settling into the seat next to him.

  “Alicia, you didn’t have to cook all of this, but it looks delicious.”

  “I don’t back down from a challenge,” I say smiling at him. “Eat up.”

  He takes a bite of his chicken, looks at me, and then takes another bite. “Well?” I ask. Not saying a word, he samples all of the food on his plate as I watch him trying to gauge what he is thinking.

  “Darling, I do have to say I underestimated you. This is delicious!” He says surprised.

  I don’t know why I’m holding my breath but I exhale once he gives me his critique. We eat our food and he asks me what I used to make each dish. I tell him those are secrets that my mom passed to me and they must not be shared with anyone.

  “Maybe with your daughter,” he adds.

  “Yeah . . . um . . . maybe,” I say knowing the slim chances of that happening. I’m going to eventually have to tell him about my infertility so that he can know what to say and what not to say to me, but for the meantime I’ll just enjoy his company.

  After we finish dinner we sit out on the balcony and watch the sunset as we enjoy our dessert of peach cobbler and vanilla ice cream.

  “This is how life is supposed to be,” Heath says as he takes the last bite of his dessert. I look at him because I’m not sure what he’s talking about and he continues. “Great dessert in the company of the woman of my dreams, the simple things. Life shouldn’t have to be difficult and over the last week you’ve shown me that. You may not realize how much nicer it is to be with a woman who isn’t after my family’s money or my last name. You know, I had a woman ask me to marry her once in the middle of dinner on our first date.”

  My eyebrows furrow. What the fuck?

  He chuckles. “That’s the same look I gave here when she asked me.” He grabs my hand and caresses the back of it with his thumb. “You’re like a breath of fresh air Alicia. Thank you for wanting me for me.”

  “Um . . . sure.” What in the hell is he talking about?

  The wind is starting to blow making it chiller than I’m used to. Not wanting my time out here to end, I go to my room, find a blanket, and then go back to the balcony with Heath who is now lying down on one of the lounge chairs. He holds opens his arms inviting me to join him and I lie down on top of him with my back to his front and cover us with the blanket. We lay like this for at least an hour watching the stars and talking about everything except work and ex-relationships. He tells me that he wants me to meet his parents this weekend. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I agree to do it.

  When the temperature drops so low that my blanket and Heath’s body heat are not helping, I decide to go back inside and do the dishes. Surprisingly, Heath offers to help, but I decline his offer since there aren’t that many dishes to wash anyway. Once I’m finished I put my elbows on the counter, rest my head in my hands, and look him in the eyes. I’m nervous about what I’m about to say, but I’ve been wanting to ask him since he came back. I take a deep breath and just do it. “I’m about to take a shower. Would you like to join me?” I feel the heat in my cheeks as his eyebrows shoot up and he smiles at my question. Rather than answer me, he walks around the counter and picks me up and throws me over his shoulder and starts walking down the hallway. “Is that a yes?” I ask laughing playfully.

  “It’s a hell ye
s,” he says walking into my room then to the bathroom setting me down on the floor.

  “Shower or bath?” I ask him.

  “Shower,” he answers, taking off his shirt and then his pants. I step back admiring his chest since it is the first time I’ve seen it bare. His pectorals are big, bulging and muscular, his abs form the perfect eight pack, his arms are so perfect and chiseled. How did I get so lucky to be admired by this perfect specimen of a man?

  He drops to his knees, grabs my pajama pants and my panties, and then slowly slides them down, making my body tingle when his fingers graze my thigh.

  I changed my mind, I’m not ready for this.

  He stands and then pulls my shirt over my head and drops it onto the floor. We are staring at one another; my naked body to his naked chest. Suddenly I’m embarrassed and I cover my breasts in an attempt to hide something from him. He takes a step toward me and grabs my wrist and moves my hand down to my side.

  “Please don’t hide from me,” he says in that accent that will make me show him everything.

  My insides melt from his words. All I can do is nod at him. He takes off his underwear and now it’s my turn to look at him fully unclothed. His entire body is so perfectly sculpted and his skin is so dark brown, smooth, and flawless. I stare between his legs and smile at the fond memory of him last night. He’s not erect and it’s still big and strong looking.

  He scoops me into his arms, steps into the shower and turns the water on. Reaching outside the shower, he grabs two wash cloths and hands me one, putting body wash on his but not passing it to me yet. He motions for me to come closer and when I do, he starts to bathe my body, starting at my neck to my shoulders and arms then to my breasts. He kneels down to wash my lower half because he is so much taller than me. I spread my legs letting him wash my little lady, who is already swollen and wet, then to my behind, legs and feet silently wishing he would make love to me and take the edge off of what I’m feeling. I stand under the shower and let the soap run off my body and then grab the body wash to reciprocate.

  I stand on my tiptoes to reach his neck and shoulders and he chuckles. I wash the rest of his body slowly, exploring every inch of him. When I get to the middle of his legs, I grab him and wash until he is erect, then bend down and give him a tiny peck on the tip. I can hear the sharp intake of his breath. I finish up by washing his legs and feet then he rinses and we both get out, dry ourselves and get dressed.

  At Heath’s request, I put on another pajama shorts and cami combination. He is wearing pajama pants and a tank top, teasing me with those muscular arms. We go out into the living room and watch TV, him sitting on the sofa and me curled up in his lap, fulfilling another one of his requests, talking about my divorce and his past relationships, our pet peeves, and the things we can and cannot deal with in a relationship. Mine was simple, don’t lie or cheat, I can take a lot. His were pretty much the same since he knows I’m not after money.

  “Just stay the way you are. It’s hard not to fall in love with a woman like you,” Heath says making my heart melt. It’s nice to hear genuine compliments every now and then. I wiggle my way out of his hold and straddle my legs across his lap.

  “Are you sure you can deal with a woman like me; one with corporate power and who works as much as I do? I’m really starting to like you, but one of the reasons my marriage failed is because my ex-husband wanted me to be a certain way and I wasn’t willing to conform. He didn’t care about my success; he just wanted me to be his wife, and that bothered me. I’m telling you right now that I love what I do for a living, so if my working crazy hours and you not being able to see me as much as you like is going to be an inconvenience, let me know now before I get anymore attached to you.”

  “Yes, I can deal with that. I would never stop you from doing what you love. Just promise me some time and we can play the rest by ear. I want you happy, darling, and if working crazy hours does that, then, I say go for it.”

  This is like music to my ears. A man that actually supports what I want to do with my career. Where was he during my college years when I met David? I smile at him and then wrap my arms around his neck playfully, but I don’t say anything. Instead, I lean in and start to kiss him, taking us both by surprise. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer while our tongues slide intimately against one another’s. The more we kiss, the more passionate it gets. I break away from him and look into his eyes.

  “Make love to me,” I say. The words just slide off my tongue.

  He looks at me as if he’s struggling internally with what he’s about to say. “No, not yet,” he says, brushing one of my cheeks with his thumb, attempting to take the edge off of the rejection, no doubt.

  What? My eyebrows furrow.

  He starts to speak in his defense. “I want to learn more about your body first, darling. I want to know what makes you moan, what makes you scream, and what makes you come. We’ll make love in due time. I promise.” I let go of my hold around his shoulders and he tightens his grip around my waist. “Where are you going? Are you upset?”

  “No, I’m not upset. Please let me go,” I lie. Of course I’m fucking mad.

  “Alicia, just because I’m not ready to make love to you doesn’t mean I’m not willing to make you come. I have every intention of doing that.” His voice is so sexy right now I could probably have an orgasm just from this conversation.

  “Heath, what are you talking about?”

  “There are ways to make you unwind without penetration. I think I showed you that last night.”

  A slight smile grows across my face when I start thinking about how good it felt to have him play with my breasts. “Last night was . . . great. The only way I was able to have an orgasm with my ex-husband was when he went down on me, but I still like penetration,” I say embarrassed.

  He takes a deep breath and then smiles. “Okay, I’ll give you penetration. Do you have toys?”

  I look at him confused.

  “Dildos, vibrators, rabbits?”

  “No!” I don’t know if I’m more embarrassed because he’s asking or because I don’t own any sex toys.

  “Why not? I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t own at least one.”

  “Why do I need a sex toy?”

  “The same reason you need all of those shoes in your closet; they come in handy sometimes.” He smiles. “I have an idea.” He stands, picking me up as he does and walks into the kitchen, sets me down on the island and then starts looking in the refrigerator. When he closes the door he has a can of whipped cream and strawberries in his hand, then he grabs the bunch of bananas off the counter and breaks one off. He sets everything down next to me.

  “Heath, what are you doing?”

  “Shhhhh,” he says putting his finger over my mouth. “I’m fulfilling a request, now I’d like you to give me control. Just like last night.” My eyes widen and I nod against his finger as I try to figure out what he’s about to do to me. “Hold your arms up,” he says in that accent that does things to me. I put my arms up in the air and he takes my shirt off, throwing it on the floor, then kisses me. When we break away, his facial expression is different; serious, yet oh-so-sexy. “Lie back,” he commands and again I do as I’m told. It’s scary that it’s so much easier for me to relax and let him take control. Heath slides my pajama bottoms off me and throws them on the floor with my top.

  My nipples are hardening, my little lady is swelling, my hormones are raging and I’m lying here on my naked back against the cold countertop that is my kitchen island waiting on Heath’s next command. I’m nearly panting with anticipation.

  He takes the can of whipped cream and sprays some on both of my nipples and my belly button, placing a strawberry in all three places. I close my eyes and get myself ready for whatever he’s about to do. Grabbing my thighs, he pulls me down so that my behind is on the edge of the counter, then he takes his tongue and dives into my bellybutton until he touches the bottom of it, then covers it with his mouth and be
gins to suck until all the whipped cream is gone and the strawberry is in his mouth. I feel his tongue as it glides across my stomach and to the space between my breasts, kissing the inside of one and then the other making me moan and squirm. Gently, he taps the side of my thigh to calm me down. He stands between my legs forcing me to spread them wider, then he takes the strawberries that are on my breasts and spins them around in the whipped cream deep enough so that I can feel the tip of them against my hardened nipples. He spreads the whipped cream around my lips with one of the strawberries, instructing me to lick it off and keep my mouth opened. He inserts the strawberry into my mouth and I take a bite out of it, the juices running down the side of my mouth. When I hear his breath hitch I open my eyes and meet his; they are blazing with carnality.

  He licks the remaining whipped cream off my nipples and begins to suckle on one and then the other before gliding his tongue back down to my belly button and licking it again. My little lady is about to detach herself from my body, and it’s worse because I can feel her swelling but I can’t squeeze my legs together because Heath is standing between them. I start to squirm and he taps me again, this time on my little lady and I cry out. He slaps her again and my breathing starts to accelerate. I have no clue what he is doing to me but it feels so good. He slaps me again, this time near my little lady’s opening and I can hear how wet she is. He spreads my lips with his thumb and index finger and starts to play with my clitoris, causing my hips to move involuntarily.

  “Alicia, you can’t keep moving. You’re going to end up sliding off the counter,” Heath says, grabbing my knees and pushing me back up.

  He takes his index and middle finger and inserts them, giving me the penetration I’ve been craving. I can feel myself automatically get wetter.

  “It feels so warm in here. I want you so bad, Alicia.” He sounds so sexy when he’s horny.

  “You can have it. Just take it,” I whimper.

  “Not yet darling. I want to see you come first.” He picks up the banana off the counter and my eyes widen as I try to figure out what he’s going to do with it. He sees the expression on my face and smiles back at me. “You don’t have any toys, so I’m going to improvise.”