by Amy Andrews
‘Ah…I’m not sure…Maybe. I’m still wrapping my head around all this.’
Beth knew that feeling. She saw him cast a furtive glance towards the door and took a step closer to him. ‘I’d hate to lose contact now.’ She placed a hesitant hand on his arm.
‘Maybe,’ he repeated.
Beth was dismayed when he took a step back and her hand fell from his arm. It was too much. She was rushing him. He’d come to find out his genetic make-up, not play long-lost son. She swallowed a lump of emotion burning like a hot coal in her throat. Let him lead.
‘Thank you,’ he said.
Beth stood aside so he could pass. She balled her hands into fists lest they try and reach for him again. It took all her self-control not to burst into tears and beg him to stay. He paused in the doorway.
‘Do you regret you ever had me?’ he asked.
He didn’t turn so she was forced to address his back. ‘The only thing I regret is giving you up,’ she said, her voice husky with barely contained tears.
And then he walked out the door and Beth collapsed into the nearby armchair, giving the wall of emotion that had been building inside her its inevitable release. Tears spilled down her cheeks as the enormity of what had just happened hit her squarely in the solar plexus.
The event she’d been waiting twenty-three years for had finally arrived. Her son had reached out to her. And if the meeting hadn’t exactly followed the script she’d written in her head for years—it had been a start.
Gabe bustled into Beth’s office a few minutes later and found her sitting very still, her eyes red-rimmed.
‘Beth?’ He crouched beside her. His heart beat frantically in his chest. Had something happened with the baby? ‘What’s wrong?’
Gabe’s concern cut through her turmoil. She turned glistening eyes on him. ‘Oh, Gabe,’ she whispered. ‘He was here. My son was here.’ She forgot all about professional behaviour and promptly burst into tears, her head falling against his broad shoulder.
‘Hey,’ Gabe soothed, his hand automatically going to the nape of her neck, his thumb rhythmically stroking the sensitive skin there. ‘Shh,’ he murmured.
He let her cry, not asking any of the questions that were crashing through his head. ‘It’s OK,’ he whispered. ‘It’s OK.’
Beth felt the wave of her outburst slowly subside. She left her face pressed into his neck as she fought for control. Firstly because she was so embarrassed she’d cried all over him—again. This was becoming a habit! Only this was in broad daylight and they were at work. And also because he smelt so good.
‘I’m sorry,’ she apologized, reluctantly leaving the shelter of his neck.
Gabe pulled some tissues out of the box on her desk and offered her the swathe. ‘Here.’
He stood while she blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes as she prowled around her small office. He sat on the edge of her desk and swung his leg as Beth pulled herself together.
‘What happened?’ he asked.
‘It’s David,’ Beth said, still pole-axed by the revelation.
Gabe frowned. ‘David? The student nurse?’
Beth nodded her head slowly. ‘Pretty amazing, huh?’ She filled him in on their conversation, noting Gabe seemed as stunned by the turn of events as she was.
‘I always thought he was interested in you. I just got the motivation wrong,’ Gabe mused as he watched her worry at her bottom lip. ‘You seem a little anxious.’
‘It wasn’t exactly the loving reunion I’d hoped it would be. What if he doesn’t want a relationship with me?’
‘Give him time, Beth. It took him four and a half years to make contact with the agency and two months to break the news to you. It’s obviously not in his nature to be rushed.’
‘I know, I know,’ she said. ‘You’d think I could be patient after all these years of waiting. But there’s been so many wasted years. I don’t want to waste any more.’
Gabe pushed himself off the desk and stood in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘Let him come to you,’ he said gently. ‘Don’t push him. He may not be a confused teenager any more but he’s bound to have issues of trust and identity. There’s no doubt still a bewildered little boy lurking behind his mature exterior.’
Beth looked into Gabe’s serious gaze. She knew he was right. She sighed and nodded, placing her head against his chest. He pulled her close and she allowed herself the luxury of a brief embrace, her heart swelling at his tenderness. Maybe the wait would be more bearable if Gabe was around to share the burden?
She felt so good in his arms that she knew she could stay here for ever. Why did she have to love someone who didn’t love her back?
Beth drew in one more lungful of Gabe pheromones and broke away, returning to her seat, struggling for normality. ‘I’m sorry, forgive me. Was there something that you wanted?’
Gabe shut his eyes, holding onto the sweet memory of their nearness for a second longer. He turned to face her, their intimacy scattering. ‘The media office has been bombarded with calls for a press conference.’
‘Scott and June have already released a statement.’
‘They want to talk to the team.’
Beth thought for a moment. ‘What does John think?’
‘He thinks it’s a good idea. He’s set it up for tomorrow afternoon. I want you there.’
Beth blinked, her heart skipping a beat at his emphatic request. ‘What for?’
‘All the main players are going to be there. You headed the nursing team as well as looking after all the theatre logistics. We couldn’t have done it without you. They might want to talk to you.’
It sounded very sensible when he put it like that but part of her had hoped he’d say, Because I want you by my side.
She sighed and flipped her diary to the next page. ‘What time?’
Beth gathered in the wings of the auditorium stage with the rest of the medical staff at two the next afternoon. Scott and June were there also and she chatted with them while they waited for the media to assemble and set up.
‘Right,’ John Winters said, calling the crowd to order. ‘I will kick off the conference with a prepared statement. Mr and Mrs Fisher will then field questions before we hand over to Gabe and the surgical team. Everyone will give a brief overview of their part in the process and then there will be more questions.’
Satisfied everyone was on the same page, John led the team out onto the stage, in the middle of which was a long table. Eight chairs and eight glasses of water were set out evenly and everyone took their pre-planned positions as the flashbulbs of a hundred cameras dazzled them. Behind them the General’s corporate logo decorated the back wall.
Beth took the end seat, partially blinded by the lights shining down at them. She could vaguely see that an audience had gathered in the terraced theatre-style seating before them. She knew that Hailey was there somewhere, although the lights made it impossible to make anyone out.
The next hour flew in a haze of camera flashes and a barrage of questions. As always, Beth was impressed with Gabe’s leadership. He rejected any suggestions that the operation had been a one-man show and deflected questions equally to all members of the team, giving them praise and credit for the roles they’d all played.
For her part, Beth answered the questions that came her way and the few more Gabe kicked straight to her. It wasn’t something she felt particularly comfortable with, especially given the loss of Bridie, and she was grateful when things appeared to be drawing to a close.
‘Dr Fallon,’ a reporter somewhere near the back called, ‘you’ve had a stellar career with two previously successful separations. Given that one of the babies died, do you think this will dent your reputation?’
Beth frowned and squinted, trying to see past the lights to who’d asked such an impertinent question. Was the man trying to imply that his reputation meant more to him than the life of a child?
‘I’ll let my reputation speak for itself.’
‘Can you tell us a bit about what the differences were with this op and the last two?’ another reporter called.
Gabe rattled off an explanation of the differences, their unique anatomies and Bridie’s weakened state being the major one.
‘As the son of a highly successful Nobel Prize-winning medico, don’t you feel, with only Brooke surviving, that you’ve failed, Dr Fallon? That the surgery was a failure?’
Gabe couldn’t really see the face of the persistent reporter, which was probably just as well. He prepared to throw the journalist a noncommittal reply. Comparisons with his father were inevitable.
Beth’s blood was boiling and she’d opened her mouth before she’d given it proper thought, beating Gabe to the punch.
‘I think I can speak for all of us, including Scott and June, in saying that Dr Gabriel Fallon is a brilliant neuro-surgeon who undertook a highly complex procedure in less than ideal circumstances.’
What would the dog-with-a-bone reporter know about the life-and-death decisions people like Gabe made every day?
‘I’m sure failing in your job means not meeting your deadline or screwing up a quote. Failing in our business has much more serious ramifications. Patients die and that’s a hell of a lot more critical than some headline in a two-bit rag.’
How dared he bandy the word around so liberally?
‘I’m sure not even the great Harlon Fallon could have pulled off the outcome we were all hoping for. But nobody worked harder than Gabe Fallon to achieve it.’
The room fell silent. The background murmur ceased. The clatter of lenses stopped. Their retinas were even given a reprieve from the constant flare of flashes. She could see David sitting up at the back but she had no time to process his presence as the entire gathering turned their attention on her.
What are you all looking at? Beth wanted to hurl at them, acutely embarrassed by her outburst, her hands automatically shielding her stomach. She was tired. And pregnant. And in love. And her long-lost son had turned up. And they were messing with Gabe. She really didn’t have the patience for this.
John Winters recovered first. He’d been shocked to find out about Beth’s pregnancy and even more so to learn that Gabriel Fallon was the father. He shouldn’t have been surprised to hear his daughter defending Gabe so eloquently. So much for just being friends. He pointed to a female reporter in the first row and the show got back on the road with an anaesthetic question for Don Anderson.
Gabe glanced down the line as he leaned forward to take a sip of water, still stunned by Beth’s caustic defence of him. She was sitting with her hand covering her belly, her cheeks still tinged with colour, looking like she was hoping the floor would open up and swallow her.
And there was the biggest difference, he realised. Beth. Beth, working with him efficiently in the background. Beth, scrubbing in beside him, anticipating his needs. Beth, ordering him to sleep. Beth, telling him enough, Bridie had had enough. Beth, staying with him. Beth, sobbing in his arms. Twice. Beth, carrying his child. Beth, understanding.
She’d been the difference. In a few short months she’d become an important presence in his life—constant and steady. From the very first moment, the emotional vulnerability behind her reserved façade had intrigued him. Today, leaping to his defence, she fascinated him even more.
Oh, no. He was falling in love with her!
CHAPTER TEN
BETH couldn’t get away from the press conference quickly enough. She wasn’t sure who had read what into her little outburst but she wasn’t sticking around to answer any more prying questions. She’d barely slept a wink last night after David’s bombshell and combined with the little sleep she’d had at the weekend, she wasn’t in the mood for petty hospital speculation.
She castigated herself again. She had no doubt her outburst would be juicy gossip this time tomorrow. She might as well have stood up and said, I love him, back off. Wait until they found out she was pregnant! She couldn’t hide it for ever—another month, maybe two at a stretch. What would they think then?
Beth headed for the main entrance doors. She needed some air. And coffee.
Hailey, Gabe and David rode down in the lift together.
‘I didn’t realise you were in the audience,’ Gabe said to David to distract him from his raging thoughts and Hailey’s speculative gaze. How the hell had Beth achieved the one thing no woman had done? And what on earth was he supposed to do about it?
David shrugged. ‘My shift had finished. I thought I’d have a sticky beak.’
Hailey looked at Gabe expectantly and it took a second for him to fathom the raised-eyebrow look. He performed the introductions distractedly.
‘This is Beth’s sister, Hailey,’ he said. ‘David is one of the student nurses in Theatre at the moment.’
Gabe watched David surreptitiously as the light dawned that Hailey was his aunt. He looked uncomfortable, like Beth had after her outburst during the press conference. Like he’d give anything to be anywhere else.
Gabe felt for the young man. He knew how it was to feel estranged from someone who had given you life and how your identity suffered. But surely he must realise that it hadn’t been easy for Beth. If David kept rejecting a relationship with her, it would break Beth’s heart. And he couldn’t bear the thought of that.
He suspected David was kidding himself. Why had he been at the press conference if he truly wanted nothing more than medical details from his mother? Why all the weeks of seeking her out like an eager puppy, spending as much time with her as possible?
He figured David was just as curious about Beth as Beth was about her son. He just needed encouragement. He could at least do that for the woman he loved. Because he was damn sure anything else was beyond him at the moment. Loving her. Being a father. He didn’t know how to do any of those things.
‘How about we all go get a coffee?’ Gabe suggested.
‘Sure,’ Hailey chirped.
‘Nah, I got to get home,’ David said as the lift doors opened onto the ground floor. ‘I’ll grab one to go, though.’
Beth was at the counter when Gabe, Hailey and David joined her. Her head was pounding and for the second time in her entire working life she contemplated leaving early. She just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for a week and come back when the talk had died down.
‘Hey, you,’ Hailey greeted Beth.
‘Hi!’ Beth turned, plastering a smile on her face that slipped immediately she noticed Gabe and David standing behind her sister. She quickly re-fixed the smile on her face, the throb in her head kicking up a notch as she nodded at her son and her lover.
‘Woohoo,’ Hailey teased. ‘That was quite a performance, Beth. Lucky none of the press knew you and Gabe are having a baby.’ She paused to pat her sister’s stomach.
‘Hails,’ Beth warned, knocking the hand away, her gaze flying to David’s face.
‘Oh, come on.’ Hailey laughed. ‘A juicy bone like that? The operation would have been totally forgotten.’
‘Hailey!’ Gabe interrupted abruptly. He too turned to look at David.
‘David,’ Beth said, reaching a hand out to her son, who was backing away from the circle and looking at her like she’d grown a second head.
‘I…I have to go,’ he stuttered.
‘David…no!’ Beth exclaimed as he turned and ran.
Hailey turned to Gabe as Beth ran after David. She looked at him confused. ‘Er…am I missing something?’she asked.
Gabe sighed. ‘It’s…complicated,’ he said as he witnessed Beth catching up with David and managing to halt his flight. He could see how panicked she looked and wished there was something he could do to fix things. His heart swelled with love at her dilemma and it tore him up to know that there was nothing he could do. He wanted to go to her side but knew neither of them needed his interference.
‘David, wait,’ Beth called finally catchin
g his sleeve and pulling. Her pulse was skittering madly. Damn Hailey and her impulsiveness!
‘It’s OK,’ he said, shrugging her off.
‘I wanted to tell you,’ Beth said, breathing from the exertion of her short run.
‘You don’t owe me any explanations,’ he said. ‘Anything you owed me you gave away when you gave me up.’
‘No, David,’ Beth pleaded, her heart breaking. The look of shock on his face betrayed the confidence he had exuded yesterday. Gabe had been right—there was obviously still an insecure little boy inside. ‘I only found out about you yesterday, I didn’t want to dump it straight in your lap.’
‘I understand,’ he said, turning away. ‘You have other priorities now.’
His accusation cut when Beth knew it wasn’t true. She searched for the right words. ‘I have enough love for both of you,’ she implored.
David inspected her face for what seemed an age and then backed away again.
‘I have to go,’ he said.
Beth felt as if the walls were caving in around her and ran after him as he fled. She didn’t hear anything other than the sound of her heart beating through her skull, intensifying the throb of her headache. David crossed a narrow internal road and she followed him without thinking, desperate for him to understand, her eyes glued to his retreating back.
She rubbed at her forehead as her foot landed on the bitumen. Her head throbbed as her pulse banged through her temples. She didn’t hear the car. She didn’t see the car. All she knew was that suddenly it was there and its brakes were squealing and the wheel was turning, but it was too late.
She was vaguely aware of Hailey screaming as she turned to protect the baby. The slow-moving hatchback struck her on the back of the legs. She felt her hip hit the bonnet and winced as her body rolled across the front of the car. In the blink of an eye she’d slid off the other side and was falling to the ground. Her head struck the bitumen as she landed on her side on the road. And then she didn’t hear or see anything. Everything went black.