Kiss Me, Sheriff!

by Wendy Warren

“Well, Derek is doing the lion’s share. I’m only helping out.” Her gaze swept the room, lighting on Derek and Gilberto next to one of the dessert tables, deep in conversation with Izzy’s husband, Nate, and their son, Eli. As she and Izzy watched the foursome, Derek said something that made Eli laugh and sock him on the shoulder. Gilberto guffawed so hard, he doubled over. “He really is a natural with kids,” Willa murmured.

  Izzy grinned fondly. “Always has been.”

  When she’d first worked at the deli, Willa had been struck by the extent of Derek’s involvement in Eli’s life. A single mother until recently, Izzy’s situation apparently had been complicated by a lack of education and a family to whom she could turn for help. On top of that, Eli had been severely hearing impaired since age two. As Izzy’s best friend, Derek had learned American Sign Language to communicate with Eli and had been the central male figure in the young man’s life until Nate returned and began to build a relationship with his son.

  “I don’t know if you remember,” Izzy said, watching her men, “but Derek tangled with Nate when they first met.”

  “I do remember.”

  “Derek was the main man in Eli’s life for so long. He had to slide over to make room for Nate. It was difficult.”

  Oh, my gosh. How dumb am I? Willa thought abruptly. Taking care of Gilberto represented a whole lot more than an act of extreme volunteerism. In a very real sense, Derek had lost his “family” when Nate arrived on the scene. Taking care of Gilberto filled a big, big hole.

  “He’s wanted a family of his own for a long time,” Izzy confirmed. “Is that what you want?”

  She said it kindly enough, but her concern was evident.

  “Derek knows where I stand,” Willa said carefully. “I’ve been clear.” But then Derek’s words leaped to mind. If you put a time limit on it, it’s sex, not a relationship. “And, of course, we’re still talking about it,” she stumbled as worry niggled at the back of her mind. But he did know where she stood, didn’t he?

  Izzy stared at her a moment longer, then nodded. “Have you tried the pear and gorgonzola crostini?” She reached for one of the hors d’oeuvres on the table beside them and took a bite. “Delicious. You think a pear-gorgonzola knish would fly at the deli?”

  With the subject changed, they spent the next few minutes discussing new recipes Izzy wanted to introduce at The Pickle Jar. Willa’s attention, however, never strayed from the man they both cared about so deeply.

  Chapter Twelve

  Once the applause died down and the lights in the Thunder Ridge Elementary School gymnasium buzzed back on, Willa allowed herself to exhale. The fifth-grade history pageant was now history itself, and Gilberto had rocked the part of Daniel Boone. She and Derek had been clutching each other’s hands since Gilberto’s first appearance onstage.

  “I think I’d have been calmer during a high-speed chase,” Derek said, looking quite adorably serious about that.

  Willa laughed. “It might have been less nerve-racking if we’d had more notice he was going to be Daniel Boone. Under the circumstances, I think a little anxiety is justified.”

  Originally cast in a less pivotal role, Gilberto stepped up to fill Daniel Boone’s moccasins when the boy previously set to play the part announced that his family had sold their home and was moving. Willa was sure Carly Levine had transferred the role to Gilberto to boost his self-esteem now that she knew there were adults who could be counted on to help. Although the teacher had assured Derek that Gilberto could carry the script if he needed to, the eleven-year-old had refused even to consider that option. Offered his first chance to shine in school, he’d been determined to give it all he had.

  Derek squeezed Willa’s hand. “If it wasn’t for you, the kid would have had to wear a cardboard sign that said ‘I am Daniel Boone’ as a costume. Thank you for not complaining that every would-be date seems to turn into a family affair. The next date is ours alone. You have my word.” He rubbed the back of her neck and the spot right below her ear. “Have I told you how grateful I am that you’ve been by my side through this?”

  “One hundred and forty-two times in the past ten days alone. This makes a hundred and forty-three.”

  Shaking his head regretfully, he murmured in that resonant baritone, “I should have done it more.”

  How did he make the most innocuous statement sound like verbal foreplay? “I enjoyed it,” she murmured back, and she really had. Gilberto’s enthusiasm was always infectious, and Derek’s fumbling attempts to sew had been flat-out endearing. Willa had wound up making Gilberto a Daniel Boone costume with a fringed jacket and faux coonskin cap. And, when she wasn’t sewing or helping him draft his speech, she and Gilberto had hiked one of her favorite sections of Long River to gather props and get into character.

  If she and Derek hadn’t found the time to resume the discussion about whether they were going to have an “affair” or a “relationship,” well, that was a bonus as far as she was concerned. Everything was so good right now, so easy and natural. Couldn’t they just enjoy it awhile?

  “I don’t think he took his eyes off you during his entire speech,” Derek commented.

  “Because he was afraid of forgetting his lines.” Willa laughed. “Daniel Boone was supposed to have said, ‘I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.’ Not the other way around.”

  “I wondered about that.” Derek chuckled. “Come on. Let’s find Mr. Boone before he’s mobbed by fans.”

  His proud smile tugged at her heart.

  “Sounds good.”

  As they blended into the line of parents and other family members snaking into the hallway, he brushed a light kiss at her temple.

  She inhaled sharply. Sometimes she got swept up in the idea that she wanted this to last. As the throng milled around them, pressing them toward the PTA’s snack tables, Willa tried to focus on the smell of hot coffee, the freshly popped corn—anything but the temptation to stay where she was, right here with Derek and Gilberto, finding her place in life again by loving a man and a child.

  They inched forward, and her gaze roved the art projects that covered the hall walls. Did one of these drawings belong to Gilberto? Did anyone care? She did, she realized, as children pushed through the crowd to reach their parents. She cared very much.

  “How’d I do?”

  It took a moment for Willa to realize Gilberto had squeezed between her and Derek and was peering eagerly into their faces.

  “My man, Daniel Boone! Is it really you?” Derek leaned far forward, pretending to scrutinize Gilberto’s face and the faux fur hat. “You were amazing up there, Dan. Can I have your autograph?”

  “Cut it out,” Gilberto complained, looking around to see if anyone was listening, but his grin conveyed more pride than embarrassment. “What did you think, Willa?”

  He looked so earnest, so desiring of her approval. Memory pinched her heart. Ignore it. This is a different time, different place. Different people. It’s nowhere near the same. “You were great.” Bending close to Gilberto’s ear, she said, “The audience loved you. Your research paid off, buddy. Everyone totally believed you were Daniel Boone.”

  “You really think so?”

  “I sure do.” It was so easy to fill Gilberto’s tank. Her compliments had him beaming.

  “There’s the man of the hour!” Izzy approached from inside the auditorium to give Gilberto a hug and add her praise to Willa and Derek’s.

  “You came to see me in the play?” Gilberto asked Izzy in wonder.

  “Wouldn’t have missed it.” She handed him a paper bag tied with a ribbon. “I brought the cream soda you like from the deli. Opening night gift.”

  “Wow! Thanks. I’m opening it now.” Catching himself, he looked up at Derek. “I mean, may I drink it now?”

  Derek nodded
. “Sure. Knock yourself out.”

  “Can I go find Tyler and share the soda with him?”

  “You bet.” Derek turned to Izzy as Gilberto trotted off. “Where’s Nate?”

  “Stacking chairs in the auditorium. Wanna help?”

  Tucked into his back pocket, Derek’s phone vibrated. He pulled it out and checked the screen. “Sorry, Izz, gotta take this.” Kissing Willa on the cheek, he said, “Back in a minute.”

  “Pretty cute,” Izzy commented, taking a few steps forward alongside Willa in the coffee line.

  Willa nodded. “He looked adorable in that ‘coonskin cap,’ didn’t he?”

  “I meant the three of you.”

  Oh. Heat suffused Willa’s cheeks. Their conversation at the barn dance loomed crystal clear in her mind even though neither woman had referred to it since. Over the past two weeks, Willa had watched Derek in full fatherhood mode and could honestly say he was one of the best men she’d ever known, devoted to his work when he was at work, but equally committed to Gilberto—and to her—when they were together.

  Gilberto wasn’t the only one blooming in Derek’s care.

  Emotion welled rapidly, closing off her throat. Feeling foolish, she blinked away the burning sensation in her eyes.

  “Hey.” Concerned, Izzy tugged Willa out of line. “Everything all right?”

  Intending to deny there was a problem, Willa instead heard herself exclaim, “I don’t want to hurt him.” And then she was crying. Oh, for pity’s sake. Had she held on to her precious control for all this time only to let go now?

  Izzy spoke quietly. “I’m assuming that by ‘him,’ you’re referring to Derek.” She dug into her purse for a tissue and handed it to Willa, who accepted gratefully.

  “Yes. Derek.”

  “Then come clean with him.”

  Willa froze mid nose blow. She’d never discussed her past with Izzy. “What...what do you mean?”

  “Whatever is bothering you—whatever it is—Derek can handle it. Truly. He has very broad shoulders.” For the first time in their acquaintance, Izzy put her arms around Willa, giving her a reassuring hug. “I know how hard it is to trust yourself with his heart. But it really will be okay.”

  “I—I know,” Willa whispered, but she didn’t. Not really. Izzy had hit the nail on the head. Could she count on herself to take care of Derek’s heart? If they were ever going to move forward, she had no choice. A voice inside her head said loudly, He deserves the truth.

  As they arrived at the head of the concession line, Derek reappeared, looking shell-shocked.

  Willa handed him a coffee. “You look like you could use something stronger,” she said. “What’s wrong?”

  Accepting the cup, he nodded toward the quiet hallway where he’d taken the call. “Let’s talk over there. Is ’Berto still off with his friend?”

  “Yes.” Willa traded a concerned glance with Izzy.

  “The call was from Jeanne,” Derek said when they reached a relatively private spot, “Gilberto’s social worker. She phoned to tell me Roddy’s gone.”

  “Gone?” Willa shook her head. “Where?”

  “No one knows. According to his roommates, he packed up all his things along with plenty of theirs and split. No forwarding address. They want to press charges for theft.” Derek’s eyes flashed lightning. “He’s completely abandoned Gilberto.”

  Unmindful of Izzy or anyone else who might be watching, Willa wrapped Derek in a hug. She felt his strong body relax into her embrace as he allowed her to comfort him. “What happens now?” she asked.

  Derek pulled back enough to be heard by both women, but kept an arm firmly around Willa. “According to Jeanne, this wasn’t the first time Roddy was caught giving alcohol to minors. He’s permanently off the list of potential providers for Gilberto, and there are no other family connections suitable or interested in providing care at this point.”

  “That stinks,” Izzy exclaimed, her own background no doubt adding fuel to the fire in her tone. “Gilberto is at the mercy of people who can’t get their acts together?”

  “Not necessarily.” Derek looked into Willa’s eyes. “Jeanne asked if I’d be on board for long-term foster care.” He paused. “Or permanent guardianship.”

  “Are you?” Izzy asked.

  Willa knew the answer before he gave it.

  “Yes.” He was still looking directly at her, searching for her reaction.

  The truth was she’d have been disappointed if he’d made a different decision, because this one was pure Derek. He was a man who stepped up to the plate every time.

  She smiled and nodded to offer her support. Even as she did so, however, worry gnawed at her. This complicated things. He needed people who would stick with him and stick around, no matter what challenges came his way.

  Now, she realized, they had even more to talk about on Friday—the night they planned, at last, to have a real date, only the two of them. Derek had found an adult eager to hang out with Gilberto for the evening, so they were all set. Willa knew she’d have to do a lot of thinking between now and Friday night. One thing was certain, however. It was time to tell Derek everything.

  * * *

  The week flew by. Even the weather had changed significantly enough to turn the previous days into a distant memory. It had stopped snowing, and though the cold front continued, the streets were clear. By Friday, Willa still hadn’t decided exactly how she was going to broach the topic of her past with Derek. The past that, no matter how she tried to deny it, still affected every nook and cranny of her present. Burning off nervous energy, she tidied her house from top to bottom in preparation for his arrival.

  The bungalow looked good. Flickering candles emitted a subtle spicy fragrance, and light jazz played in the background. The lamps were on dimmers, and the fireplace was ready for the strike of a match. She had an elegant Hudson Vineyard Syrah and her grandmother’s wine goblets poised on the table. She still needed to put the flowers into vases.

  In the kitchen, a sage-and-thyme-crusted prime rib filled the house with its succulent aroma, and her Yorkshire pudding waited patiently to be put in the oven, where it would puff to golden perfection. Lord-of-the-manor food. I-care-about-you-and-want-you-to-feel-special food. Her signature bourbon-spiked creamed spinach still needed to be prepped, but that wouldn’t take long, and first she wanted to double-check her bedroom.

  From the doorway, she scanned the area, trying to see it through Derek’s eyes. What about candles in here? Should she light them now or wait until he arrived? Moving to her bed, she smoothed her hands over the comforter. Fresh sheets? Check. Pillows plumped? Check.

  Sexy lingerie? Check.

  She fingered the lace peignoir and satin robe she’d laid out. She’d bought the sexy duo only yesterday. The nightie with its plunging neckline and see-through skirt had looked so glamorous, so confidence-inducing in the shop window. Suddenly, though, it seemed dangerously scanty. Playing the seductress had never been her MO, yet tonight she wanted to try it, and she wanted to do it before she told Derek about her past life.

  Because it’s easier to bare your body than your soul.

  Sharing her history with him signaled not only the beginning of a new phase in their relationship, it signaled the end of something, too. Up to now, her grief had been private, fierce yet somehow delicate, like a butterfly she had to shield to keep alive. Because keeping the grief alive kept the people for whom she grieved alive. That’s how it felt, anyway. If she wanted Derek, she was going to have to slacken her hold on the past. Allow others to disturb her status quo.

  A quick glance at the clock told her Derek would be there in just over an hour. Her stomach felt like a crazy soup of foreboding and anticipation and yearning. She didn’t even bother to convince herself she was ready for this moment; she knew only that she wanted it.
Seduce first, talk second. Everything will be okay.

  And then the doorbell rang.

  What?

  Derek had said he’d arrive at eight. It was only seven.

  Willa’s pulse leaped wildly. Dinner wasn’t ready, and she still hadn’t decided for sure about the negligee.

  “Just a minute!” she called then glanced at the mirror, flustered. Crumbs, she hadn’t even had time to do her hair and makeup. Derek was always punctual, sometimes early—and he had called twice today, saying he couldn’t wait for this evening—but an hour early? For a date? No fair.

  As suddenly as it arrived, though, her panic subsided. She’d wanted to be naked at some point on this date. Might as well start with a naked face. Apparently, she wasn’t meant to hide behind anything tonight.

  Taking a deep breath, she headed for the front door.

  Although she hadn’t yet turned on the porch light, through the leaded glass panes, Willa could see the shadow of a man. As she unlocked the deadbolt, she teased, “You must be as excited about tonight as I—”

  Her voice faltered.

  Time and her pulse both seemed to stop as she realized that the person on her porch was not Derek.

  “Jase?” she whispered. Or thought she’d whispered. Had a sound actually emerged?

  It’s an illusion. Your mind is playing tricks.

  But he smiled, and it was the smile she remembered, the one that had once made her feel all was right with the world.

  She raised a trembling hand to her lips. The blue eyes she knew so well filled with too many emotions to count...apprehension, guilt, gratitude...

  “Hello, Willa,” he said raggedly. “I’m back.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  The man Willa had married when she was still just a girl reached out and hugged her tightly, almost uncomfortably so, but she understood the impulse. It was nearly impossible to believe he was here, that he was alive at all after so much time without a single bit of contact. The emotion she’d staved off for two years broke loose, bit by bit, like stones tumbling from a cliff in the moments before an avalanche, and she felt her arms wrap around him, holding him. Her crying left wet patches on the front of his shirt, and she could feel his own tears dampen her neck as he pressed his face into the crook of her shoulder.