by Dara Nelson
He groaned, “Oh my God,” into my mouth as my hands fumbled with his pants. I pushed his back up against the seat as he quickly pushed his pants down to his ankles. Then we both groaned as I straddled him and took him inside me. My mouth crushed onto his again and I began moving. Quickly at first, then I slowed down, because this was something that I really didn’t want to end. The climaxes began rolling through me almost instantly. Wave after wave after wave, they came. I pressed my hands into the roof of the car and threw my head back as another one rocked my body. “Oh, dear God, Sarah. I can feel every one. Oh, God,” he groaned, then he shifted on the seat a bit and that’s when I felt it. The big one was coming. The one where I have no possibility of stifling my scream.
“Right there. Oh yes, Carlos. Right there,” I groaned. I felt it moving closer and closer. And I could feel the scream building. I could only hope that Carlos had fed recently, because blood in my throat was the only thing that could stifle me. I started to feel a little panic. Panic that the driver might hear us… and panic that this one was going to be too big for me. I pulled my head up and locked eyes with him. He could feel it coming too. He smiled and leaned his head to the side, giving me easy access to his neck. I pulled my hair to one side, giving him access to mine.
He smiled wider. “Not until you’re done, sweetheart,” he whispered. I smiled and then it hit. My eyes rolled up and my teeth buried themselves in his neck as my body began jerking and pulsing on him. He gripped my hips tight and kept me from falling off of him. It took a while, but finally the spasms began subsiding enough to the point where I could stop biting him. I kissed him hard, then pulled back and smiled at him.
“Now it’s your turn,” I said as another shiver rocked my body. He grinned as my mouth came down on his again. I squeezed him tight and began gyrating my hips. His surprised mouth came away from mine. He growled and pinned my wrists behind my back.
“Oh my God, Sarah. How do you… I can’t believe… oh shit, I’m going to…” then his teeth buried themselves in my neck and I felt his scream in my bloodstream.
Chapter Three
I weaved my fingers through his hair and continued moving until I knew he was completely done, and as I thought about what we had just done. Three years. For three long years we had fought this. Three years we had denied it existed or tried to ignore it or fought it with every ounce of strength we had. Three years it took to build up to this point. Three years it took to explode. For three years it was hard but my world was fine. It took thirty minutes to bring it crashing down.
His teeth pulled out of my neck and he rested his head against my chest. Then and only then did we allow the guilt of what we had just done surround us. Surprisingly, it was Carlos who broke first. “Oh, shit, Sarah. What have we done?” he moaned.
I tried to alleviate the pain a bit by pulling his head up, looking at him and saying, “Do I need to explain the birds and the bees to you?” I tried to smile, but I didn’t fool either one of us.
“Very funny,” he whispered then his face grew serious. “I don’t want to let you go, Sarah. How am I supposed to let you go?”
That scared the shit out of me. “You have to, Carlos. Dear God, this was just an amazing experience. Don’t make me regret it any more than I already do. You find a way to let me go, please?”
He stared at me for a second then broke into a grin. “What the hell is so funny?” I said.
“I just meant that I didn’t want to let you go right now, here, in the car. You feel too damn good,” he mumbled.
I blushed. “Oh,” I whispered. “Sorry.”
I smiled and he pulled me tight to him, resting his head on my shoulder. I did the same. I could still feel him inside me. If we weren’t careful we’d be going at it again, definitely not something I was ready for, yet but neither one of us wanted to break this connection – I think we were afraid to face what would happen when we did.
“This was so much better than I ever imagined it would be,” he said.
“I know. For me too,” I said.
Suddenly I jumped because the driver knocked on the partition. “Folks?” he said through the dark glass. Obviously he knew something was going on because he didn’t just lower the glass like he did last time. Great, I thought. I jumped off of Carlos, both of us groaning slightly as we felt him slide out, then I tossed his shirt to him. I threw on mine and pulled on my pants as he pulled his up.
“Yes?” I said as I quickly flipped around and sat on the seat. The partition slid down.
“Ummm, sorry to bother you, but it looks like your flight is cancelled tonight. You’ll need to go in to the airport to change to a morning flight. Then I can take you back to your house or to a hotel if you’d like,” he said. A hotel? All night? With Carlos? Shit… that was going to be trouble. Carlos and I looked at each other, but he waited for me to decide. I made the decision that I knew I’d make, but that I really didn’t want to make. I told myself that it was because I didn’t want to wake Cindy and the kids by going back to her house, but I wasn’t fooling anyone, especially me. I squeezed my eyes shut and said, “The airport and then a hotel, please.” I felt Carlos’ hand close on mine. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead.
We walked into the airport and changed to a morning flight. They gave us a voucher for the hotel and we walked back to the limo. The driver took us to the hotel next to the airport. Neither of us had spoken a word to each other since we had put our clothes back on. I don’t know about Carlos, but I couldn’t speak. I was a fraction away from losing it. If I tried to talk, that fraction would disappear in the blink of an eye. I stood off to the side while Carlos checked us in. I heard the gal at the counter say we were in room 1204, so I picked up my suitcase and slowly started walking towards the elevators. I turned and waited until Carlos was next to me before I pushed the button to take us up. As we rode the elevator in silence, I felt Carlos’ hand close in mine. I choked back the sob that wanted to come out. Dear God, don’t be nice to me, I thought. I don’t need nice and sweet and kind. I need someone to beat the living crap out of me. Never, ever had I cheated before, on anyone. Not when Rob (my first husband who was killed along with my son when their car was hit head-on by a logging truck) and I went through our rough patch a few years into the marriage. Not when I found out that Rob had cheated on me. Not even when I had the opportunity with Jake, who was the nicest, most incredible looking personal trainer you’d ever meet – and he made it abundantly clear that he wanted me. I was definitely tempted to then, but I didn’t. And I didn’t love Rob as much as I love Matthew. I didn’t feel like I belonged with him as much as I do with Matt. So why the hell was I cheating on Matt? And I say cheating instead of cheated, because I knew damn good and well that the limo was not a onetime thing. There was going to be more, I knew that as much as I knew that I felt like shit for what I had done. What the hell was wrong with me?
The elevator doors opened and we slowly made our way into the hall, following the signs to our room. I wasn’t going to make it much farther. My legs were already shaking like crazy. Carlos swiped the card and held the door open. Our sad eyes met as I walked past him into the room. I made it about six feet in and then I collapsed onto the floor. Carlos was behind me instantly, wrapping his arms and legs around me and holding me tight. I cried for a few minutes. I wanted to sob forever, but I knew that I couldn’t. I had to pull myself together. And I did, much too soon, because I had to call Matt and tell him we weren’t going to make it home tonight. How the hell am I supposed to do that? Damn it, he’s gonna know. He’ll hear it in my voice, I know he will.
I slowly lifted my head up. “Oh God, Sarah,” Carlos began, but I stopped him.
“Wait,” I sadly said. “Not yet. I have to call Matt first and tell him we won’t get in until late tomorrow afternoon.”
“Oh. Oh shit, Sarah. Can you? Are you sure you’re ready to do that?” he said.
“Fuck, Carlos. How could I ever be ready to talk to my hu
sband after I cheated on him? No, of course I’m not ready to do it, but I have to do it anyway,” I said as I started to stand up. Carlos hesitantly nodded his head and released me from his arms. I pulled my cell phone from my purse and turned and looked at him. “I’ll be out on the balcony.” I stepped out into the cool, crisp night, took a few deep breaths, brought his number up on the screen and went to push the talk button… but I couldn’t. A few more deep breaths, a few more seconds of staring at his name and number on my screen, then another failure to push the button. More breaths, more staring, another failure. At this rate I’d be standing on this damn balcony all night. Suddenly I heard the door slide open behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to brace myself because I knew exactly what he was going to do. Carlos silently stepped out behind me, took my thumb, pressed it down on the talk button then guided my phone up to my ear. Then he patted my back, turned and went silently back inside, closing the door behind him. I jumped when I heard the ring. Please let him be asleep. Please let it go to voicemail.
“Well, hello my love,” came his beautiful, loving, faithful voice. I opened my mouth to respond… and nothing came out. “Sarah?” he said, concern starting to seep into his voice. Get it together you fucking moron, I thought.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I said a little too cheerfully. “Guess what? Our flight got cancelled. We’re stuck here in Texas until tomorrow morning. Doesn’t that suck?”
“Oh, that’s too bad. So are you back at Cindy’s for the night?” he said.
“No, I didn’t want to wake the kids. The airline gave us a hotel voucher. I’m making Carlos’ bony butt sleep on the couch and I’m taking the bed,” I said.
Silence followed. Oh shit. “Well, just kick him if he snores too much,” he said without any playfulness in his voice. “And, Sarah? I love you more than anything and I miss you like crazy.” Fuck, he knows.
“I love you and miss you too, Matt. More than you could possibly know.”
“Show me,” he said. “Let’s have phone sex.”
You have got to be kidding me, I thought. Now? Of all times? Of course, now. “I’d love to sweetheart, but it’s so late. I’ve been playing with the kids all day and I’m really exhausted. But I promise I’ll show you the second I get home, okay?”
“Are you coming home as horny as you were the last time you came home from her place? You couldn’t keep your hands off of me for three whole days. That was awesome,” he said.
“Of course, baby. This is me we’re talking about, remember? I’m always horny and I can never keep my hands off of you,” I said.
“I know that. And I’m getting excited just thinking about you,” he said, but I could hear only desperation, not excitement, in his voice.
“Easy, sweetheart, or you won’t make it until tomorrow,” I said.
“Okay, okay. I’ll try to calm down now. You try to get some sleep… and have really erotic dreams about me, okay?” he said
“Only if you promise to have some about me,” I said as I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t have much more left in me.
“Oh, I already am, baby. I already am. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sarah. Goodnight, my love,” he said.
“Goodnight, Matt. I love you,” I said then I pushed the end button. I set the phone on the table behind me and squeezed my hands around the metal railing so hard I could feel it beginning to bend. “Shit, shit, shit, shit,” I said. Carlos’ hands slowly peeled mine from the railing. “Grab my fucking phone, would you please?” I said as I flew past him and threw myself onto the bed, curling into a ball.
“He knows?” Carlos whispered.
I opened my eyes and glared at him. “Of course he fucking knows, Carlos,” I hissed.
“He said that? He told you he knows?” he said.
“No. Of course he didn’t tell me. That’s not his style and you know that. But he knows, Carlos. I could feel it, I could hear it in his voice. Oh my God, he knows.” I cried.
I felt the bed shift as Carlos sat next to me. He started to rub my arm, but I threw his hand off. “NO!” I screamed “Don’t touch me. I don’t want anybody to touch me right now, got it? I can’t make you feel better this time, Carlos. I can’t make myself feel better. For the first time ever, I can’t make it alright. Carlos, I’ve always been able to fix things, always. But I can’t this time. I fucked this up and I can’t fix it.”
“You didn’t fuck this up, Sarah. I did. This is my fault. I’m the one who couldn’t control myself. I pushed you into this,” he groaned.
I turned, looked at him and tried to smile. “Thanks for saying that, but no you didn’t. This was both of us. I wanted this just as much as you did,” I said.
He moved around behind me and lay down, wrapping me tight in his arms. “Fuck, Sarah. What are we going to do?”
“Now? Right now, we’re going to sleep. Nothing more, just sleep. But I can’t lose him, Carlos, I just can’t. It’ll kill me if I do. How to keep him is what I have to figure out later,” I said.
“I understand, Sarah. Night, hun,” he said then he gently kissed the back of my neck.
“Night, Carlos” I said, snuggling into him a little more. God, but he felt so fucking good. No, Sarah, you can’t. Sleep, just sleep damn it. I closed my eyes.
When I opened them again I looked at the clock, hoping against hope that it was almost time to get up. Only twenty minutes had passed. We still had hours and hours left in this damn hotel room. Fuck. I closed my eyes again.
Ten minutes this time. Shit. I cannot lay here, in his arms, awake. Close your fucking eyes and sleep, Sarah. This time I put my hand over them, maybe that will help.
Five minutes. Son of a bitch. This is not funny. If somebody is playing a joke, please stop now. Crap. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I could feel his body pressing into mine. I could smell… damn it. Stop it Sarah. Don’t do it. Don’t. You. Do. It.
“Carlos?” I whispered. ‘Fuck. You weak idiot,’ my mind told me.
“Yes?” he said.
“Are you asleep?” I said.
“Are you kidding me?” he said.
“God damn it, I don’t want to do this,” I whispered as I brought my head around and began kissing him.
“Neither do I,” he groaned as his arms pulled me closer.
Chapter Four
By the time we were finally dressed and ready to go to the airport, there wasn’t a surface in that hotel room that we hadn’t made love on. From the bed to the floor to both chairs to the table to the balcony to the dresser to the bathroom counter and finally the shower, everywhere had been touched. We were wild but we didn’t care. We made too much noise but we didn’t care. We made love tenderly. We screwed passionately. And we fucked like animals. Years of denying ourselves came out in one night. Years of pent-up desire. Years of yearning. It all came out like a flood. Maybe we both hoped that we could get it all out of our system in one night. Yeah, right. Fat chance of that.
We settled back into our plane seats with our hands clasped together, as the flight attendant brought us a blanket. As the plane taxied out to the runway I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I just can’t talk about this right now, Carlos. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Sarah. I’m afraid to talk about it too,” he said then he kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and finally drifted off to the sleep that had eluded me last night.
“Miss? Miss? We’ve landed,” a voice said.
My eyes fluttered open then I popped my head up. “Huh? What? Oh, thank you,” I said. I leaned over and kissed Carlos’ forehead. “Time to wake up, Carlos. We’re home.” He opened his eyes, looked at me and smiled. Then reality hit and I saw the panic in his eyes. He reached for me and urgently pulled me to him. He began kissing me with such overwhelming passion and sadness that I thought I was going to crumble. Just when I knew I couldn’t bear it anymore, he pulled away and placed his forehead on mine.
“Last one,” he whispered.
“Last one,” I groaned.
We retrieved our bags and walked through the airport toward the limo area. Before we reached the doors I could see Ivan standing by the car waiting for us. And then I stopped. I just froze right where I was. Carlos walked right into me. “What the hell Sarah, why did you?… Oh no,” he whispered as his eyes followed mine. Standing next to Ivan, waiting for me, was Matthew.
“I know why he’s here and I can’t do this, Carlos,” I said.
“Sarah, he’s probably here to beat the shit out of me,” Carlos said.
“No, that’s not how he does things,” I said as I began digging through my purse, acting like I was looking for something. “He’s here to claim me. He’s here to mark his territory. He’s going to make you ride up front with Ivan while he has his way with me in the back. And I can’t say no, Carlos. I don’t want to do this, but you know I can’t say no.”
“Maybe I’ll just fly home,” he whispered.
“No, you can’t do that. That would make it worse. He’s using his subtle ways to confirm his suspicions and if you refuse to ride home with us you’ll only make it easier for him. Please don’t do that to me yet,” I said.
“But, shit, Sarah. I’ll be able to hear you,” he groaned.
“I know and I’m sorry. But you have to do this for me. Please,” I said.
“Fine, God damn it. Let’s go,” he hissed.
I pulled my cell phone out and held it up for Matt to see. As we walked out the doors I said, “Sorry. I thought I dropped my cell phone on the plane. What are you doing here sweetheart?” I walked into his waiting arms. Oh, crap, no. I seriously can’t do this. His mouth came towards mine. He opened his eyes, looked at me and hesitated slightly as he got close, I’m sure he could smell Carlos on my lips, but then I saw the determination in his eyes. And the anger. He quickly closed the remaining distance and crushed his lips down on mine. He tried to make me believe, as his tongue danced around mine, but I knew. There was no passion in this kiss. Only fury. He pulled away and locked his eyes with mine.