by Mary Wine
Peace.
It’s what had taken her to the cabin, but Devon needed it more than she did.
“You shouldn’t have followed me.”
She jumped, Devon’s voice coming from just behind her. He drew in a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest. In the dark, he looked like a huge, looming gargoyle. A creature made of stone and designed to frighten.
He chuckled ominously. “A fitting description. Go back to the clearing. Gennaro will have you shown to your quarters.”
He started to turn away and she felt like he was ripping something from her. Even his thoughts were hidden, a solid wall preventing her from feeling anything from him. After being in constant, intimate contact with him, the rejection was brutal.
“Sulking won’t help.” Kalin reached for him, unable to quell the impulse to regain contact with him.
“I’m not—”
He’d begun to whip back around to face her when her hand connected with his. She’d reached for his bare skin, seeking the man beneath the hardened Operative.
He twisted his hand up and captured hers. She’d forgotten how strong he was. There was steel in his grip but he controlled it expertly. The contact stole her breath, sending her heart accelerating. It drove home how vulnerable he made her feel, highlighting just how easily he stripped her defenses away.
“At least I’m not alone in that.”
It took Kalin a moment to realize she hadn’t spoken. Devon had pressed back into her thoughts and read her like a book.
She opened her senses and felt for him.
“You feel the same way.”
There was a snap of energy between them, frustration from him at being unmasked.
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander,” she warned.
“I’m not good for you at all, Kalin.”
She felt a flare of hard certainty from him before hunger and need swamped it. She had no idea if it was hers or his, but with their minds joined, it didn’t matter.
He tugged her toward him, meeting her halfway.
She lifted her chin, needing his kiss as much as he was planning on demanding hers. He bound her against him with one solid arm before sliding his hand along the side of her face and threading his fingers into her hair.
But he didn’t kiss her.
The delicate surface of her lips tingled with anticipation, but he leaned his head to one side and inhaled.
“I missed the scent of you.”
His voice had deepened. Taking on a hypnotic sound. It might be the darkness, but there was no way to tell because she was slipping away from conscious thought. Just letting reality go in favor of savoring the moment in his arms.
“A good idea.” He grazed her temple with a kiss. Just the briefest of touches but she shivered in response.
“Reckless though.” He tightened his grip on her hair, little zips of pain ricocheting across her scalp. She’d never been one to mix pain with her pleasure, but there was something about Devon that made it work.
“That sums up my dealings with you.”
He lifted his head so that he was studying her face. There was enough starlight to glitter off his eyes. “Yet you followed me.”
“ER nurse,” she muttered. “It translates into stubborn in thirty-three different languages.”
He closed his hand around her hip and rubbed it. The touch was shockingly sensual, unleashing a new jolt of hunger that stirred up a memory of just how satisfying he’d been.
“I’ll always walk away, Kalin. It’s who I am.”
She was pressed against him, the hard bulge of his cock pressing against her belly. Rising up onto her toes, she cupped his nape and stroked the warm skin. “Then do it, Devon.”
“Is that a challenge?”
The hand on her hip tightened, betraying the fact that he didn’t want to part from her.
“I came after you because I’m daring you to face me.” She teased his nape with her fingertips. “And yourself.”
His expression hardened. She felt the shift in his mood more than she saw it. A tightening that blocked her out of his mind.
“I walked away because I know you can’t be important to me, Kalin, no matter how much I wish it otherwise.”
He believed what he said. She felt the burn of bitterness seeping into her from the connection he didn’t seem able to sever completely.
“That’s not the way feelings work, Devon.” She forced herself to let him go, lifting her hands away from the man who’d distracted her from her own mental scars. “You’re not the only one who wishes they were so easily controlled.”
She tried to step back but he held her. His thoughts rushed into her mind like a wave. It was mesmerizing, holding her transfixed. His uncertainty combined with her own, leaving her only one thing to cling to, and that was the fact that he had as little faith in happiness as she did.
It was a horrible thing to think, even worse to feel. Her eyes stung with unshed tears as she pushed against his chest. The need to flee was building, threatening to consume her.
Devon kissed her first. She pulled her head back but he renewed his grip on her nape and held her steady. The kiss was hard and demanding. He let his passion loose, using it as a haven.
It was a damned fine idea.
Kalin kissed him back, flattening her hands on his chest and enjoying the hard feel of his body. Everything about him turned her on. Even the scent of his skin. It was more male, more primal than anything she’d encountered. It made her want to rip his clothing off.
“Not here.” His voice was rough, his breathing harsh. She felt his reluctance to break off their kiss to speak. But he looked up, staring at something over her shoulder. “We’re not alone.”
“Shit.” She suddenly felt about eighteen. A bundle of raging hormones and a suffocating bunch of restrictions keeping her away from what she craved.
He grabbed her wrist and began trekking through the forest. There was barely enough light for her to put her feet down with any sort of confidence. Devon never hesitated. His ability to take on the darkness was admirable, but it was also intimidating.
She tugged on her wrist, the mountain air giving her too much time to think.
Devon turned and captured her. She gasped because one moment he was making steady progress and the next he had her bound in his arms with her back against a tree. She was completely pinned, his captive.
“I…don’t…care.” He kissed the side of her neck, sending a ripple of pleasure down her body. “They are a part of my life. I don’t care if they watch.”
“Yes, you do.” Her words were calm in the face of the anger he’d used to snarl at her. “And you’re really dreading getting your memory back because you’re not sure you want to be the man you were before.”
He stepped back, releasing her, but it felt more like a recoil. She felt the shock wave moving through his thoughts because his guard was completely down.
“I didn’t like what my life did to other people, Kalin. That’s not the same as not liking who I was.”
She stretched out to see if his feelings would help her understand what he meant. She heard him draw in a stiff breath but he didn’t put up his mental guard. Their minds stayed linked even though she felt his uncertainty. They were suddenly both awkward. Both of them second-guessing themselves.
“Everyone has to find someone that can fit into their life. You’re not alone in that, Devon.” She sighed.
He opened his arms and offered her his hand palm up in invitation. “We’re here and we both want the same thing. I know for sure I don’t have a commitment, so now it’s your turn to face the challenge, Kalin.”
It was ridiculously simple to put her hand into his. But the moment his fingers closed around her hand, it felt like a surrender. He pulled her back into his embrace, his lips seeking hers out.
The kiss was hot, the night air a huge contrast. She craved more of his heat, reaching up to lay her hands against his neck. The uniform was too much of a barrier, frustrating her with how well it separated them.
“Agreed,” he said. “Naked sounds perfect.”
He turned and resumed leading her through the forest. They reached the edge of the tree line and Devon cut through the open toward one of the houses. He stopped and pressed in a code at a panel outside the front door before it let out a soft tone and he reached for the door handle.
Her heart was pounding. Uncertainty threatened to eat a hole in her before he pulled her down a hallway and into a bedroom. She jerked when he closed the door, scooting back a few paces as she tried to decide what to do.
She knew what she wanted to do.
Desire was pulsing through her, twisting all her ideas about right and wrong around until the only thing that felt right was to follow her impulses.
The lights were off and only thin slivers of light made their way through the closed blinds. But she heard the soft click of the lock turning on the door.
“Is that really a deterrent?”
He shrugged. “Can’t really remember, but I’m guessing no.” He stepped closer and her heart accelerated. “Bet the guy with the tablet has already made a notation about what we’re up to.”
“I’m not sure—”
He cupped the side of her face. “Yes, you are.” His thoughts merged with her and hunger flared up inside her. Red hot and practically desperate. She craved it because it promised complete detachment from everything except him.
“And you’re the only thing I am sure about, Kalin.”
His defenses were down, stripped away as he pulled her close. She reached for him, needing to feel him. She pulled on the front of his shirt, separating the buttons and pushing it toward his shoulders.
He kissed her hard, holding her head in place as he demanded she open her mouth for a firm thrust of his tongue. She slid her hands down his chest until she found the rough strap of his gun belt and tugged on the soft jersey of his undershirt. It came free and he broke off their kiss as he shucked his shirt and ripped the undershirt up and over his head.
“Your turn,” he declared darkly.
She stepped back. “Is it?”
There was just enough light for her to make out his eyes narrowing. He took a moment to remove the gun holster tie that went around his thigh. It came loose with a rip of Velcro before he opened the main buckle and left it hanging on the foot rail of the bed.
He was washed in silver moonlight, looking like something from her imagination. Every muscle on his chest was sculpted to perfection.
“Mmmm…” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I like the way you think about me.”
He did. The pleasure flowed between their linked thoughts, making her impatient to feel his thoughts. But her hands shook when she started to pull her top up. She was torn between shyness and the need to be bold.
“Match me, Kalin.”
He was daring her and promising her at the same time. She pulled the shirt off and unhooked her bra before letting it slip off her arms. Her breasts felt swollen and heavy and relieved to be loose.
“Perfection.”
She heard him and felt his thoughts too. He slid an arm around her waist, pulling her close as he cupped one mound. Sensation went tearing through her. Leaving her convinced that she’d never enjoyed anyone’s touch so greatly.
“Good,” he growled as he massaged her breast. “I want to know that no one has ever made you feel the way I do.”
He scooped her up, capturing her and cradling her as he took her around the side of the bed. It was covered in quilts that were cool to the touch when he settled her on them. For a moment, there was only the frantic motions of them both trying to strip. They pulled on boot laces and tugged the stubborn footwear off. Kalin found his waistband and tugged it open, but it was Devon who pushed his pants down and kicked them across the room.
He reached over and gripped her pants, pulled them and tipped her onto her back as he tugged them off her legs. The bed bounced with a soft squeak, leaving her looking up at him from her back. She pressed her knees together and crossed her ankles, feeling exposed. Her panties felt too thin and that sense of awkwardness had returned.
“Don’t doubt.” He reached out and grasped the thin undergarment and pulled it down her legs. Devon stretched out beside her, leaning on his elbow and smoothing her hair back from her face. “Don’t doubt, Kalin.”
He smoothed his hand down her side to her hip. He cupped it, massaging it for a moment before pressing down her thigh to straighten it. She rolled toward him, seeking out what she craved. He was a haven, one she was desperate to reconnect with. They weren’t close enough and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him toward her.
The heat built, turning white hot as they kissed and stroked, touching every part of each other. Pleasure flowed through her from her skin and her mind. It all combined into a molten ball of wonder that had no boundaries. There was only Devon and herself.
He rolled over on her, pressing her flat as they both lost the battle to prolong the moment. Her sheath was tight, resisting his first thrust.
But her need was high. She lifted her hips, needing his length inside her.
“You’re tight,” he rasped, fighting for the control to not savage her.
“You’re hard,” she countered as she lifted for his next plunge.
His lips curled back. “Just the way you like it.”
He sank farther inside her, but she still wasn’t satisfied. She wanted to be stretched. She reached up and drew her fingernails down his chest.
He surged up, arching away from her as he sucked in a harsh breath.
“Harder,” she demanded. “Stop holding back your nature.”
He thrust forward, penetrating all the way to her core. His eyes glittered and she felt something new surging into her mind from his.
“Kalin—” His voice was a ragged warning. A telltale hint that he was on the edge.
“Harder!” she demanded. “I can feel you only giving part of yourself. I want it all. You don’t scare me, Devon.”
She wanted to know that he gave her everything. He growled, reaching for her hips and grasping them in a hold that sent a wild twist of excitement through her pelvis. He arched back, the moonlight offering her a view of his powerful form as he thrust back into her.
She gasped when he hit bottom, his balls slapping against her. Pleasure and satisfaction bore through her as she strained up to make sure he was buried as deep as possible.
“Is that enough?” he demanded, pulling free and thrusting hard into her again.
“No,” she snapped.
She arched beneath him, taking every hammering thrust he unleashed. Pleasure filled her, glowing brighter, hotter, but it still wasn’t enough.
“More!” she insisted, realizing she was courting an explosion, but she craved it above all things and her gut told her he was the only man who might give it to her.
“I am,” he snarled. He captured her wrists and pinned them above her head, his body landing on top of hers as he claimed her.
It was hard, and their bodies became coated in perspiration. She was straining toward him, her muscles aching with the effort of keeping pace with him.
But it was bliss. The rapture caught fire and yanked her completely into the vortex of pleasure. She felt it deep in her core and found it flash burning her mind as he snarled with his release. Hers, his, it all combined into a climax that was as physical as it was mental. She wanted to scream, but he wedged his wrist into her mouth to stifle the sound as he buried his face against her neck. All the while he pumped her with hard, deep thrusts while his cock jerked and emptied. Her body tightened around his length, pulling, milking him.
Devon rolled off her, m
ore spent than he’d ever been. Every ounce of strength was gone, depleted. The bed was more welcoming than ever because he knew he couldn’t stand. His chest was laboring, the sound of Kalin’s breaths filling the room as she panted. Satisfaction bit into his cock and balls and ran through his body until every inch of him was tingling. It twisted him, making thought impossible.
He surrendered to it, pushed to his limit and just let go. Darkness rose up and claimed him, pulling him down into what he’d been trying so hard to see. It filled his nose and mouth like water, suffocating him, drowning him, pulling him deeper…just like the river had.
Only this time, he didn’t fight. He let it take him.
It was time to go.
Time to die.
Kalin jerked, feeling Devon’s withdrawal like a piece of duct tape being ripped off her arm. There was the initial pain of having the hairs yanked out and then the tingling that settled into a burning.
She reached up and rubbed her forehead, trying to soothe the injury. But it was no use. The pain rose in a wave that washed up her body and over her, tumbling her into unconsciousness.
Devon woke up near dawn. His head was pounding, the level of pain worse than the day he’d woken up in Kalin’s bed.
But memories were rushing through his mind. Clear, full-color recollections. They surfaced and played out before his eyes and settled down into his memory. It sapped his energy but he sat up, unwilling to sleep when he was finally getting a look at what he’d been chasing.
Kalin distracted him. Her bare thigh rested on top of a pillow she had between her knees as she slept on her side with her back to him. The room was full of her scent, tempting him with the idea of lying back down and holding her.
He wanted to.
The urge was so strong he ground his teeth together to fight it off.
He’d be poison to her.
A slow death by suffocation as his world choked the life out of her.
Heather hadn’t always feared him. She’d loved him enough to hold him, but the walls of his world had crushed her spirit.