by Mary Wine
He couldn’t bear to see it happen to Kalin. He owed her more than that. Standing felt like he was ripping off a part of himself. But the pain was worth it to know he was protecting her. It would be worth it.
At least he’d tell himself that until the pain dulled enough for him to believe it.
Kalin woke up to an empty bed.
She rubbed her eyes and looked around, but there wasn’t a trace of Devon left.
In fact, she stretched out her feelings and found nothing, not even a subtle feeling of him. A knot formed in her belly as she sat up. His scent still clung to the sheets, but her clothing was folded and stacked neatly on the dresser.
Dressing felt like an ending. Telling herself to not be emotional didn’t change it either. After so many days with Devon in her head, she felt cut off, or maybe shunned was the more appropriate word.
When she made it out to the front porch, she found him.
Yeah, shunned was the right word.
He was working with several of the members of his unit. They were using a firing range, lying down on the ground to shoot at targets. The sharp pop of the bullets didn’t make her wince, it was the way Major Gennaro looked up at her and sent her a nod before lowering himself back down next to Devon that made her flinch.
No…not Devon.
Operative.
That’s what he was today. He never looked at her but continued to fire with his unit. They would converse at times, change positions, and Devon flowed seamlessly with them. It was like seeing a wild animal set free. When it was with you, it was easy to believe it cared for you, needed you. But once it was free, it never looked back.
Devon never looked back.
Dresner tapped a finger against the tablet in his hand but the information didn’t change. What little of it there was. His men had gone silent, which only meant one thing.
They were dead.
No one left Ultra Solutions.
He went through the pictures again. Mostly ones from the air that showed his men on the interstate. For some reason, the pictures became distorted when they hit Benton County.
There might be numerous reasons for that. A military base, secured airfield, munitions depot, fallout bunker for politicians. So many reasons the area might have jamming equipment.
But it just might also be one of the extremely rare training facilities for psychics. He’d only ever confirmed one, which was abandoned now.
He smiled slowly, savoring the victory few knew about. It had been such a victory to raid the exclusive site, a victory that was partially responsible for Dresner’s current position. It was just such a shame that one of the young officers on duty had put down his own Operative rather than see the boy taken. Young Captain Lorance had followed his duty to the letter, depriving Dresner of the prize.
At least on that day he had. There would be another opportunity. He’d devoted his life to finding it.
He typed up an order and sent it to a team of research analysts. They would begin the lengthy process of trying to discover Benton County’s secrets. It could take years, but the gain would be worth the effort.
In the meantime, he needed another psychic for his customer.
Chapter Five
Devon surprised her.
So used to hearing him, a solid week of blackout had her jumping when he stroked her mind. Her book went flying onto the porch as she locked gazes with him.
Crap. She’d forgotten just how good he looked.
Well, maybe forgotten wasn’t the right word. It had been a little more like a desperate attempt on her part to not realize how completely he’d shut her out.
His lips thinned, the unmistakable feeling of regret coming through to her before he blocked her out. It pissed her off.
In fact, she wasn’t in the mood to be shut out anymore. She mustered her strength, but several of the Rangers passed Devon and headed up onto the porch with stacks of dark plastic bins. The large sort used for storage. They were all the same color black.
“Your things.”
She realized Devon had actually spoken and was torn between the temptation to rip into him for the week of silence he’d treated her to or to follow the bins.
Her desire for her own underwear won.
Okay, and the peevish desire to dish back out to him the silent treatment he’d been giving her.
The Rangers stacked the bins right on the porch and left. She pulled one of the lids up and peered inside.
“That’s all that survived the sterilization team.”
She lost her resolve and looked up at Devon. “The what?”
For just a smidgen of a moment, she felt a flare of victory from him before he drew in a deep breath, like he’d slipped.
“Sterilization team,” he repeated as Major Gennaro shifted up closer behind him, watching her through his mirrored sunglasses.
“A necessary action,” Devon informed her. “The spot was completely sterilized to prevent anyone from finding any clues that might lead to you.”
“Are you saying this…” she pointed at the bins, “…is all that’s left of my cabin?”
“You’ll be compensated.”
“Like hell,” she growled and stomped down the steps to face off with him. “My grandfather and father built that cabin. You had no right to…sterilize it.”
“This is a classified matter. That gives us the right,” Gennaro added.
“You have no right to be upset, Kalin.” Devon stepped in front of his C.O.
“No right?” she snapped and tried to stalk past him, too pissed off to form her thoughts into words.
Devon reached out and hooked her arm. “Calm down.”
“When you don’t talk to me for a week, you forfeit the right to tell me how to feel.” She jerked her arm but he held tight and grabbed her other biceps to pull her close.
She quivered.
The scent of him, the feel of him, sent a shockwave through her. The mental wall between them slipped, flooding her with a surge of longing that threatened to leave her breathless because it soothed the gaping wound his silence had left her with.
“It will work out, Kalin.”
His voice made her shiver, the dark, husky sound of it stoking the coals left from their time together.
No…fucking…way…
She shoved into his head with all the force she could muster. His eyes widened right before he retaliated. The mental touch was far more precise now, stabbing straight into her mind instead of flooding her skull.
“Nice to know you’re feeling better.”
Her sarcasm hit him and guilt entered his eyes for a moment. “Better, not complete though.”
She aimed a shove at him and he let her go. “Guess that explains why I’m still here.”
His lips thinned. “It was just a cabin, save your anger for the living.”
She shook her head. “Maybe you have the right to destroy something I held dear without so much as an explanation, but you sure as shit don’t have the right to tell me how to feel.”
“It was decided—”
“I should have been in on the conversation.”
He shook his head and hooked his hands into his gun belt because it looked like he was losing the battle to grab her again. “The deciding parties are people with more experience than you, Kalin. You’ll be compensated for full market value.”
Her feet had finally returned to normal. She planted them wide. “Oh, really?”
He nodded, his eyes glittering with confidence. The sight of the major hovering behind his shoulder with the same supreme look on his face sent her over the edge.
“I’ll rebuild,” she said and turned to walk back up onto the porch.
“That would be a mistake. The land will be sold to cut the link between you and it.”
She whipped ar
ound and found Jason Jacobs moving closer. “Which just proves how much you should have included me in the decision-making process. You can’t sell that land. If it’s on the market, get it off.”
“God damn it Kalin.” Devon lunged forward and caught her chin. “Those thugs reported to someone. They know who you inherited the land from. They will just be waiting for you to surface.”
She smacked his hand away and stepped past him, holding up a finger when he started toward her. “That is tribal land and there is nothing, nothing, the Indian Nations would love to get a hold of more than a prime example of the government selling off their land, because I sure as hell won’t be taking that fall to cover your asses when I get the chance to resume my life. My father’s name will not bear that shame.”
Shock registered on Devon’s face.
“Your experts don’t know everything about me. And the major reason for that is because the lot of you—” she pegged both majors and Devon and a couple of the Rangers who were enjoying the spectacle with a hard look, “—have decided to treat me like I’m insignificant.”
“It’s for your own good.” Devon’s tone dropped again.
She held her hand up. “I’m not having a private conversation out here for everyone’s enjoyment just because you’re too chicken to face me alone.”
She ran up the porch steps and grabbed one of the bins. “Just remember something Devon…”
He’d started to turn away but looked back at her. “What?”
“I didn’t run away from you because you freak me out. You’re the one who can’t handle relationships.”
His mental wall slipped, giving her a moment to bask in the glow of his surprise. What made her turn and go into the house was the longing that she felt radiating from him.
If he didn’t have the guts to face his own feelings, she couldn’t do it for him.
She shouldered her way into the bedroom she’d claimed and leaned back against the door as she blinked back tears.
It shouldn’t hurt.
But it did.
“Kalin has a valid point.”
Devon was crouched down listening to the forest as he trained alongside his Ranger unit. Grace had found him before any of Gennaro’s men, but that wasn’t a surprise. She was the best psychic tracker known on the planet.
“Come up here to tell me that?”
“Not exclusively.” She settled down next to him with her attention on the forestland she’d just crossed. “You are avoiding her.”
Grace had a limited tolerance for conversation. She was distracted by her abilities most of the time. At the moment, she was blending into the environment just as well as any of the Rangers who backed her up. But he got a sense of amusement from her thoughts that made him suspicious.
“Did you take off?” he asked.
“Yes, but the point is moot while I wear this tracking bracelet.” She lifted her right arm to bring his attention to the black band. “I want to know if I can get rid of it.”
“I’m not a hundred percent sure.” And he didn’t like admitting it.
Grace turned her full attention on him, her emerald eyes blazing. He put up a wall out of instinct.
“You’re much stronger.” She managed to slice right through a seam he hadn’t noticed was in his defenses and delivered a sting before she withdrew, distracted by something nearby.
Major Jason Jacobs had come into view. He made steady progress toward them but didn’t crouch down with them. “The alarm on this thing is loud.”
Grace stood effortlessly in spite of her rounded belly and extended her arm, wrist side up. Jacobs considered the band for a moment before he pegged Devon with a hard look.
“You’ve obviously made some progress,” Jacobs remarked. “How far do you have to go?”
Devon stood and faced off with the man. “Enough to frustrate me.”
Grace turned and started walking away. Her gender often set her apart, but she blended in with the military element she lived among almost seamlessly. She wouldn’t bother arguing when she knew Jacobs would make her safety the deciding factor. The wristband would be staying on her.
But Jacobs made a low sound under his breath. One that made it clear he didn’t care for telling his Operative no. “Are you planning on staying?” he asked.
Devon nodded. “It’s been working so far.”
Jason slowly shook his head. “You’re as locked up as Grace once was.” The base unit he had strapped to his right biceps with a cord going up to his ear started buzzing. He pulled the earpiece out, yanked a small tablet off his belt and punched in a command before looking back at Devon. Jacobs’s expression was hard to read. Grace’s C.O finally shook his head and shot a hard look at Devon.
“I wasn’t in Brice’s corner when he met Grace, but he called one thing dead on. She’d shut me and everyone around her out. He was the only one who made it through her shield. Do yourself a favor, Devon, stop avoiding the one person who can shake you up. That’s the only remedy for your frustration. That little civilian living in my house is the only one who can help you.” Jacobs headed out after his Operative, disappearing into the trees after only a few strides.
“I think they have a point.”
Devon jerked, turning to find Garrick Gennaro behind him. There was a pleased feeling bleeding off the man and even if it pissed him off, Devon had to admit that he’d been caught.
This time.
“Is it lecture-Devon day?” he asked. “I must have missed the email on it.”
“You’re not the only one our guest was making points to.”
Devon still felt the sting of Kalin’s barbs. Guilt was chewing on him and he never felt guilty. He performed the way he’d been trained to. Guilt didn’t factor into his life. Performance did.
Except with Kalin.
“You’re not going to find the rest of your memories inside that shell you’re hiding in,” Garrick pressed.
“How do you know that?” Devon shot him a hard look. “Being focused is how I operate. Without it, my success rate falls dramatically. Just ask the lab-coat rats.”
“They tend to forget the man inside the Operative.” Garrick stood and cocked his neck until it popped. “Your memories aren’t going to respond to self-control. They wouldn’t be missing if that’s how it worked.”
“So I should just use Kalin?” Devon straightened, unable to remain still. “Is that the official ruling on her?”
Garrick didn’t flinch. “Interesting fact is, she agreed with coming out here.”
“Was she given a choice?”
“No,” Garrick confirmed. “I won’t apologize for that.”
Devon cussed softly, feeling the dedication coming from his C.O.
“But I will concede to feeling mildly in agreement with her when it comes to the cabin. Consulting her wouldn’t have jeopardized the mission. If she hadn’t found you, you would be dead. She’s due some respect.”
Devon felt Garrick’s attitude shift, harden with an unmistakable bitterness. “Being in contact with her had a positive effect on your recovery.”
“That doesn’t make it right to use her bed as therapy.” Devon felt a surge of emotion busting through the self-discipline he’d been holding in place all week.
“You are too important, Devon,” Garrick continued. “Your skills are too valuable to be measured against rules that apply under normal circumstances.”
“I thought you just said she was due some respect, now it’s acceptable for me to use her bed as a remedy.”
“I think Jacobs has a point.” Garrick shook his head slowly. “You’ve been walling yourself off since Heather’s death. Kalin is the first person who’s broken through to you and it took having your skull cracked to get you to listen to her.”
Devon didn’t want to hear any more. He started to walk away, intending t
o bury himself deeper in the forest.
“And she’s right, you’re chicken.”
Devon cut his C.O. a look over his shoulder. But there was no sign of victory on Garrick’s face, just grim confidence.
Devon turned and hiked. He kept his pace brisk enough to keep his heart pounding, but when he reached the ridge that overlooked Grace’s husband’s property, he hunched down. There was no way to outrun himself.
He was chicken.
And a jerk and a few other choice words as well.
And he didn’t trust himself near her.
He didn’t like admitting it. But even now he was recalling the scent of her skin. It had rained during the night, so all he should have noticed was the scent of the forest.
No, he smelled Kalin. He closed his eyes as the memory rose past the wall he’d built to hold it back. It threatened to knock him on his ass and undermine every last bit of self-control he had. That was something he hadn’t allowed himself for years.
Not since he’d fallen in love with Heather.
He recalled so much more about his failure with her, and yet darkness persisted, shrouding memories he just couldn’t see clearly enough to understand.
He knew how they made him feel though.
The failure had been complete. It had stung and left a jagged wound on his heart. But it had also left something else, the thing that had helped him survive.
Determination to never let it happen again.
Man, she was desperate.
Kalin laughed at herself as she finished moving the bins into the room that she’d claimed.
It wasn’t the same one Devon had taken her to.
Maybe he slept in the room, she didn’t know. It was on the other side of the large house. On the main floor, there were two hallways that led away from the kitchen and family rooms. Four spacious bedrooms were also on the ground floor, two on either side and each one was more of a mini master suite with a full bathroom built into it.
The upper floor was a complete mystery. Every now and again, she caught Major Jason Jacobs going up one of the sets of stairs. The family room had been stripped of personal pictures or of something, because there were nails sticking out of the drywall where pictures should have been.