Deceased Dora

by Claire Chilton

  “But we buried you!” her mother cried.

  “I know.”

  Kieron glanced at Dora, shrugging in her direction as if waiting for instruction on what to do next.

  “Help her get in here,” she said.

  “Her ass is never going to fit through that window.” Pooey commented as he jumped onto one of her legs and used his weight to pull them down.

  “This ass can get into anywhere it likes.” Her mother wriggled in the tight space.

  Dora rushed over, and she and Kieron tugged on her mother to try to get her through the window. Her legs were taut, and she appeared to stretch.

  “Mom, are you okay?” she asked.

  “Just keep going! Nearly there.” Her mother gasped.

  Dora pulled as hard as she could, and there was loud popping sound as her mother’s backside cleared the window.

  They all fell into a heap on the hard stone floor.

  Her mother rolled over and groaned, peering at Dora. She reached for her and held her face in her hands.

  “My baby girl!” she cried before hugging Dora tightly against her.

  Dora hugged her back before releasing her.

  “Mom, what are you doing here? I thought you moved to Greece?”

  “Don’t be silly. I was only on holiday with some friends.” Her mother brushed away the question and some cobwebs at the same time.

  “We should close the window ma’am.” Mortimus’ hollow voice echoed from a few feet away from them.

  “Gah!” Her mother yelped, jumping to her feet and brandishing her large tan handbag as if it were a sword. She pointed it at Mortimus.

  “Out of my home, you vile monster!”

  “Mom, it’s okay. He’s a good giant, talking spider.” She glanced lamely at Kieron. There weren’t many explanations she could come up with for Mortimus.

  Kieron offered her a helpless shrug before reaching up to close the open window. It ground out a painful creek as he slid the bolt into place and locked it.

  They all stared at Mortimus, who was dusting one of the catacombs with a feather duster.

  “He’s using my feather duster.” Her mother narrowed her eyes at him.

  “He likes to clean things.” Dora shrugged.

  “I don’t like other people cleaning my house.” Her mother growled. “Hey you, spider thing, stop that!”

  Mortimus glanced up at Josie with innocent eyes. “But it is dirty, ma’am.”

  “Are you calling my house dirty?”

  Dora winced at the violence in her mother’s voice. There was only one thing that brought out the beast in her mother, and that was someone implying that her house was dirty. “No, he doesn’t mea—”

  “Yes, ma’am. It’s very dirty and mouldy.” Mortimus nodded, oblivious to the explosive vibes coming off her mother.

  “Who gives a shit?” Pooey said as he untangled himself from Josie’s legs and stood up.

  Her mother glanced down at Pooey before turning back to Mortimus.

  Her face paled as if the blood had drained completely out of it, and her eyes widened. She turned to face Pooey while stumbling backwards into an old gravestone. “What the hell?”

  “It’s okay, Mom. He’s a—”

  “Nice talking, teddy bear?” Her mother finished with widened eyes.

  “Did someone drug me? Am I hallucinating?” She pressed herself against the stone and rubbed her eyes.

  “A fucking teddy bear?” Pooey took a step towards Josie.

  She scrambled back and tried to climb over the stone. “Keep it away! I hate LSD trips.”

  “Mom, it’s okay, he—” Dora paused and frowned. “Wait a minute, when did you have an LSD trip?”

  “Oh come on, everyone did in the eighties …” She paused and turned to face Dora. “I mean what? It must be jet lag. That’s what I meant, jet lag.”

  “I’m not a teddy bear.” Pooey growled. “I’m a dem—”

  Wind howled around the room, making them all jump. Screams echoed around the chamber, and the gales forced them all back against the walls.

  “What the hell is going on?” Dora cried as she tried to brush her ebony hair out of her eyes when it flew around her face in wild tendrils.

  The wind slammed against them in harsh gusts.

  She glanced at Kieron, who was straining his muscles to try to unpin himself from the wall.

  “It’s the ghouls,” Mortimus said.

  She glanced in the direction of his voice. He was flattened against her mother, who did not appear impressed.

  “Ghouls don’t look like that,” Pooey said, staring ahead of him.

  Dora glanced at the cloudy swirls in the centre of the room. There were twisting grey shapes mingling in the chamber. They had a greenish tint to them as they swirled in the howling wind.

  She frowned when agonised faces appeared in the smoke, distorting and stretching with each howl.

  “What the fuck is that?” She shouted over the din.

  “I don’t know,” Kieron cried as he pushed himself off the wall and staggered towards it. The swirling mist shrieked at him, sending him tumbling backwards a few feet. “But I’m getting rid of it.” He growled and stood back up, every muscle in his body tensed.

  With a determined glance at her, his wings shot out of his back and flashed across the large room. He reached into the swirling mass with his hands, as if trying to grab the ghouls inside it.

  She stared in awe as the muscles in his bare back rippled, and a golden glow surrounded him. He ripped into the smoke and tore it apart with his bare hands.

  Something shone bright white behind him. She frowned, staring at what looked like a doorway on the far wall. The ancient stone was still mounted on the wall, but there was a gap between it and the wall, as if it were ajar. A blinding glow shone through the tiny gap.

  What the hell is that? It looks like a door!

  Kieron roared as the smoke tried to smother him. He spread out his wings and arms with a force that shook the foundations.

  The strange door ahead of him opened a tiny bit wider as the cloudy swirls exploded into mist and evaporated.

  The howls disappeared, and the wind faded away.

  She exhaled slowly and stared at Kieron, who had fallen to his knees.

  She rushed over to him and knelt beside him.

  “How did you do that? Are you okay?” She brushed her fingers through his short blond hair.

  “I don’t know, and I don’t know.” He smiled at her, and she tightly hugged him against her.

  “I don’t know what you are, but you have some powers now,” she whispered in his ear.

  “What was that?”

  She glanced back to see her mother hugging both Mortimus and Pooey. Her hair stuck out in a crazy mess, and her eyes were wide with shock.

  “Um, we’re not sure, but it’s gone now,” Dora said. She was telling the truth for once. Whatever it had been, it wasn’t in the crypt anymore. The place felt like it used to again—a dusty old playground that was full of history.

  She rose to her feet and winced as her mother untangled herself from Pooey and Mortimus.

  “Where’s your father?” She was as white as a sheet and shaking all over.

  “He’s upstairs,” Dora said, feeling sorry for her mother. “I’ll take you to him.”

  “As long as I never get mommy hugs again, that’s fine with me,” Pooey grumbled, brushing dust and cobwebs off his brown fur.

  “I quite liked them,” Mortimus said.

  Pooey shot him a disgusted look. “No shit! Is there an apron you haven’t clung to yet?”

  “You leave Mortimus alone,” Josie said. “Bad bear!”

  Pooey narrowed his eyes, but Dora spoke up before he could say what was on his mind. “Let’s get out of here.”

  She guided everyone towards the stone stairs that led up to the ground floor of the church, glancing back at the stone tablet as they left.

  It remained ajar with a bright light shining
behind it.

  When this is sorted out, I’m coming back and opening that door.

  The church shook as if an earthquake had hit it when Dora entered the main chapel. She gripped onto the doorframe and glanced behind her to see her mother grab onto the stone bannister of the stairwell for balance.

  Mortimus collided into Pooey crushing him against the wall. Behind them, Kieron was bracing himself against both walls, his eyes wide as he looked up at her.

  “What the hell?” She gasped as hairline crack appeared in the wall beside her.

  She heard shouts coming from the main chapel and instantly reacted, dashing into it and down the aisle towards the voices. The footsteps of the others following her pounded on the stone floor behind her.

  She found Lucian, her father, Carissa and Terrance all stood at the front of the church, near the main doors.

  Lucian stood at the window beside the doors, purple energy surrounding him as he shot blasts of it out of the window. Carissa and Terrance were trying to pull her father away from the doors.

  “You can’t open them!” Carissa cried.

  “But the church is falling apart.” Theodore struggled to reach the door handle.

  “Block the doors!” Lucian cried as he shot another purple beam out of the open window, aiming it at something on the other side.

  “What’s going on?” Dora called out as she rushed towards them, followed by the others with Kieron now running at her side.

  “Heckle and Jeckle are taking down the barriers,” Lucian said as he shot another blast of purple at them through the window. “And that big bitch is gathering her armies outside the door.”

  “What can we do?” Kieron asked as he rushed to the window and peered out of it.

  “Shoot at the priests before—” There was a loud bang, followed by the crackling of electricity in the air.

  Dora glanced up to see the golden dome surrounding them cracking open and fading away.

  “That happens,” Lucian muttered. “Shit!”

  “Theodore?” She heard her mother gasp behind her.

  She glanced back to see her mother staring at her father as if she’d never seen him before. “What happened to you? You look so … so rough.”

  Her father spun around, and his eyes widened.

  “Josie!” For a moment, they stared at each other in silence. Then her mother blushed at Theodore before they rushed into each other’s arms.

  Dora turned her eyes back to the window when they started kissing.

  Eww, parent snogging. Well, at least they’re not fighting.

  The church shook again. “Do something, warlock. Cast a stronger spell.” Terrance shouted at Lucian.

  “This is all I’ve got.” Lucian scowled at him. He looked drained, and the purple light around him had faded.

  Dora peered out of the window. The old priests were fast on their feet as they continued reading while dancing out of the way of Lucian’s purple blasts. “What do we do if the barrier breaks down?”

  “Get ready for war,” Lucian said, shaking his head.

  “Put up a new barrier then. What else are you good for if not that?” Terrance asked.

  Lucian spun around to face Terrance with narrowed eyes. “Why don’t you do us all a favour and go and get laid. Then you can start throwing around commands like a real man and stop whining like little a bitch.”

  “Why you damnable scoundrel!” Terrance cried raising his fists and taking on a boxing pose that hadn’t been seen since 1901. “I challenge you to a duel.”

  “That’s it!” Dora interrupted.

  “A duel?” Lucian glanced at her with a look of disbelief passing over his face.

  “What? No, don’t be stupid. How are you two going to step outside? Marriage is the answer.” She turned to face her father. “Dad, can you marry Terrance and Carissa?”

  “Will that keep the barrier up?” Her father looked sceptical as he glanced up at the golden dome, which now had a gaping hole in the top of it.

  “No, but, just trust me. It’ll work. It has to.” Dora pushed him towards Terrance and Carissa. “Quick, and very romantic—”

  The golden dome cracked down the left side and the church shook. “But, a very quick ceremony, right now!”

  “But don’t we need to arrange the flowers and catering? I watched a show about wedding planning. Is it not customary to spend outrageous amounts of money and purchase lots of things that have nothing to do with marriage to make a wedding work in this era?”

  Terrance glanced at Carissa. “And shouldn’t she have a dress?” He folded his arms. “I will not do it, not unless my love has the perfect day!”

  “Fuck,” Dora muttered under her breath. “Lucian, how long will that barrier hold for?”

  “You want it in minutes or seconds?” Lucian said.

  “Fine, then we’re going to invent a speed-wedding. Kieron, you’re the best man.”

  “Why, thank you.” He smiled, clearly misunderstanding her meaning.

  Dora slapped herself in the forehead.

  “Dad, can you take the groom and the best man to the altar while Mom and I get the bride ready?”

  “Of course, my dear.” Her father ushered Kieron and Terrance down the aisle.

  “Morty, can you come with us?”

  “Am I the maid of honour?” The giant spider excitedly jumped up and down while clapping his front legs together.

  “Yeah, sure, why not.” She glanced around at Carissa, who nodded while wiping a tear of joy from her eye.

  “Lucian, are you okay dealing with Heckle and Jeckle?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “Pooey can help.”

  “What good is he going to be?”

  “Er, hello. Planning battles and winning wars since 320BC.” Pooey pointed to himself.

  “Seriously?” Dora asked.

  Pooey just stared at her with a disappointed expression.

  “Okay, I’ll take that as a yes.”

  “Fine, help me take out these fucking exorcists.” Lucian turned to the window. He glanced back at Dora. “Do hurry the fuck up, or we’re screwed.”

  She nodded and hurried her mother and Carissa into the choir room, followed by the skittering sound of Mortimus as his feet clattered on the stone tiles behind them.

  They entered a room full of musical instruments and clutter.

  Dora tried to focus on wedding things, but the constant, loud cracks of electricity distracted her as the dome fell apart around them.

  What’s going to happen if they get through the doors? Will any of us survive?

  She forced herself to focus on joining the bloodlines. It was their only chance.

  “Okay, a dress,” she said to herself more than anyone else. She scanned the room, and a sliver of white lace caught her eye as it hung out of one of the wooden lockers at the end of the room.

  She rushed over to it and pulled open the door. A white choir gown hung inside the locker. It was old with lacy sleeves and a lacy collar. It could pass for a white dress, or possibly a tent, but it was white and frilly.

  Surely, we can make it look decent.

  She picked up the hanger and showed the dress to Carissa and Mortimus.

  “Can we do something with this?”

  Carissa scowled at the gown. “I’m not wearing that.”

  Mortimus pulled a tape measure out of his pocket and measured the length of the gown before eyeing Carissa. “Yes, I think we can.”

  “How long will it take?”

  “Twenty minutes if you have a sewing machine.”

  “I have one in the spare room,” Josie said.

  “Excellent. Show us the way.” Mortimus took the gown from Dora and guided Carissa towards Josie.

  Dora followed them, listening to the sounds of the dome cracking around them. “Just hurry up.”

  I hope this fucking works.

  “Do you Terrance, take Carissa to be your—”

  “Hurry the fuck up!” Lucian shout
ed from the other end of the room as the dome loudly splintered and crackled.

  Dora glanced up. The dome was no longer golden. It had become almost transparent and was barely holding back the raging armies outside of it.

  “Really, it’s a wedding. Have some respect,” Josie said, shaking her head at Lucian, who promptly flipped her off when she turned her back to him.

  Dora glanced at Terrance and Carissa. They looked like a beautiful Victorian couple. Terrance’s suit was a sleek black one that fitted him like a glove.

  Mortimus had done wonders with Carissa’s gown. Brocade lace covered her from the neck to shoulders, trailing down to fitted white cloth that skimmed her waist and fell down over her hips into an elegant train behind her.

  Pearls and jewels sparkled on the material, and her dark hair was curled up an elegant twist. With the pewter tiara from her mother’s jewellery box, she looked like a princess bride.

  Dora’s eyes travelled across to Kieron, who was standing beside Terrance and wearing one of her father’s suits. It fitted him far better than it ever had fit her father.

  When she met Kieron’s eyes, she found he was gazing at her with a bright smile on his face.

  Something about the sparkle in his eyes made her look away from him.

  She nervously smoothed down her red silk dress. It had been an impulse buy that she’d never had the opportunity to wear, and the only thing she owned that was suitable for a bridesmaid.

  She peeked back at Kieron and offered him what she could only assume was a dopey grin before snapping herself out of it.

  Now is not the time for girly thoughts!

  The dome shimmered. “We’re not going to make it!” Pooey cried from the back of the room.

  “Dad, hurry it up a bit,” Dora said.

  “Fine.” Her father flipped through some pages in the bible he held. He slammed the book closed when a loud bang hit the front doors.

  “Do you?” he asked Terrance.

  “I do. For my love eternal, yes I take thee Carissa, my—”

  “Do you?” Theodore asked Carissa, cutting off Terrance’s unending vows.

  “I do.” Carissa smiled, and she gripped Terrance’s hand.

  “Kiss!” Pooey shouted.

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Theodore rushed out as the front doors of the church burst open and an army of beasts flooded into the chapel.