Baby, It's Christmas & Hold Me, Cowboy

by Susan Mallery

  The kitchen seemed to shrink in size, and all he could think about was taking her in his arms and kissing her. He wanted to feel her next to him again. He wanted her tall, lean body pressed against him, her breasts flattening against his chest. He wanted to get hard and rub his arousal against her belly, then—

  “I have to warn you that I’m only yours for the next two weeks,” she said. “After that, my time has been committed to someone else.”

  “I see.” He tried to ignore the flare of jealousy burning inside of him. An old boyfriend returning?

  “Yes, I’m going to be involved in a rather complex relationship. There will be four of us all together.”

  He caught the light of laughter in her eyes. “Four of you, huh? Sounds kinky.”

  “Actually, it’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m taking care of your niece and nephews while Ryan and Patricia run off on their second honeymoon.”

  “You are?” They’d asked Kelly?

  “Don’t sound so surprised. I’ll remind you that I’ve been the one helping you out with Lia. I do know something about children.”

  “It’s not that. I told them I could still do it.”

  She laughed. “You’re incredibly optimistic. Lia isn’t going to be sleeping this much forever. In the next couple of weeks, she’s going to be awake more and more. You’ll have your hands full. You don’t need three other kids tossed into the mix.”

  “We could join our forces together,” he said impulsively. “You’re staying at Ryan’s, right? I could bring Lia and stay with you. I know my niece and nephews pretty well, and they can be challenging.”

  As he waited for Kelly to answer, he told himself he was being crazy. Even if she wanted him along, they were already spending too much time together. Did he really want to head into this dangerous territory?

  “I’d like that,” she said.

  As she spoke the words, something clicked into place inside of him. He had a bad feeling he was already in too deep and it was too late to think about getting out now. The only course of action left to him was to follow this road to the end. Maybe, for once in his life, he was going to get it right.

  * * *

  “Let me,” Kelly said the following evening when Lia began to fuss in her carrier on the kitchen counter. They were cleaning up after a surprisingly delicious Thanksgiving dinner, and Kelly could use some space between her and Tanner. Doing dishes side by side was entirely too domestic. Every time she reached toward the dish rack, she brushed his broad shoulder, and warmth suffused her body from the point of contact.

  She dried her hands and reached for the crying infant. “What’s the matter, little princess? Are you hungry?”

  “Go sit down,” Tanner said. “I’ll bring you her bottle.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Lia had been fed and changed. Kelly settled with the baby in the rocking chair, which Tanner had moved to the living room early that afternoon. She couldn’t bring herself to put Lia to bed just yet. Her slight weight and small movements filled Kelly with equal parts contentment and yearning. Was there anything more heartwarming than holding a baby? Anything more heartbreaking than letting her go?

  Snow had begun to fall outside, but inside the house was cozy, warm and quiet.

  She heard a movement in the doorway and looked up to see Tanner watching her. Their gazes met and held for one long moment before he cleared his throat and shifted away.

  “I picked up a few other things when I was at the store yesterday.” He opened the door to the closet under the stairs, disappeared inside, then reappeared carrying a long, narrow box and a plastic bag.

  “You bought a Christmas tree?” she asked.

  “An artificial one. I didn’t know if Lia could be around a real tree yet.”

  “They’re not toxic, but there are a lot of choking hazards. Next year you’ll really have to worry. She’ll be crawling for sure, maybe even walking, and those shiny lights and ornaments will be irresistible.”

  A lot could happen in a year, she thought. Would they still be friends? Would she be around when Lia took her first steps? Tanner might even be married. Lia could have a new mom. To hide the sudden tears in her eyes, Kelly leaned down to place a kiss on the baby’s head.

  “Before my parents died, we used to decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving night. I thought it would be a nice to carry on the tradition for Lia.” He efficiently snapped together the small tree. “I’ll take a picture of her every year in front of the tree. Do you think she’ll like that?”

  “Until she’s a teenager. Then she’ll hate it, but then she’ll love it again when she’s an adult. Such is the circle of life.”

  She watched him decorate, aware that she was allowing herself to be entirely too charmed by this man. He placed an ornament, stepped back, then adjusted it by an inch to the right or left before reaching for the next.

  He had turned his life upside down for the baby in her arms. And once he’d made the commitment, he had thrown himself into being a father with enthusiasm. She never would have imagined that he would be thoughtful enough to consider the importance of traditions in a child’s life.

  She wouldn’t have imagined a lot of things. Especially not how quickly her feelings could grow.

  Chapter 9

  The Women’s Center Clinic took up half the second floor of a small, older office building in downtown Honeygrove. Kelly spent every other Thursday afternoon and evening at the clinic, donating her time. Her office here, with its scarred wooden desk and a cracked window, was a far cry from her spacious suite back at her regular practice, but Kelly didn’t mind. Her purpose was to provide quality health care for those who wouldn’t otherwise be able to receive it.

  “All right, Granny Bea,” Kelly said as she patted the older woman’s arm. “Those supplements are working. According to the latest test, you have the bones of a seventeen-year-old runner.”

  The white-haired grandmother grinned at her. “You’re exaggerating, Dr. Kelly, and we both know it.”

  “Maybe a little, but you’re doing better. Keep taking those pills. Tell Sharon, the nurse up front, to give you another refill. Be faithful, all right?”

  The tiny woman, a little bent but still in good physical condition, rose to her feet. She used a cane to help her balance. “You’re a good girl,” Granny Bea said. “I appreciate that you worry about me.”

  “Of course I do. You have my number, right?” Kelly made sure all her clinic patients had her number. If there was an emergency, most of them wouldn’t bother going to a hospital. Large institutions hadn’t been kind to the women in this neighborhood.

  Granny Bea patted her purse. “Right behind my driver’s license.” She chuckled. “Not that I drive anymore, but I figure if I win the lottery one day, I want to be current so I can go right out and buy a big Mercedes. A black one.”

  “I can’t wait to see you behind the wheel.”

  Granny Bea was still laughing as she walked to the door. “See you in six months, Dr. Kelly. You take care of yourself.”

  “Granny Bea,” Kelly called. “You know the rule.”

  The elderly lady shook her head. “Silly child. You really think I’m doing anything like that, with my husband gone to his reward nearly ten years ago.”

  “You never know, Granny Bea. If you win the lottery, you’re going to find yourself chasing away young men with your cane. I want you to be prepared.”

  “I think it’s foolish. I only use them for water balloons with my grandson. Of course he thinks I’m incredibly hip for such an old lady.”

  She reached into the large jar of condoms Kelly kept by the door. One of the rules of both her clinic and her private practice was that every patient had to take a handful home. She didn’t want anyone telling her she’d gotten pregnant or caught a sexually transmitted disease because s
he didn’t have any handy protection.

  “Bye, Granny Bea.”

  “Bye, child. You take care and find yourself a man one of these days.”

  Kelly grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She was still smiling when she walked into the first examining room.

  “Hi, Dr. Kelly,” Corina said from her seat on the table.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Fat.” Corina wrinkled her nose. “I can’t believe how huge I am.”

  “Hey, you’re eight months pregnant. What did you expect?”

  “I’m the size of the space shuttle.”

  Kelly studied the seventeen-year-old’s round belly. “Generally women don’t make space shuttle size until their ninth month. You’re more like the nose cone.”

  “Very funny.”

  “I am,” Kelly agreed cheerfully. “How are you feeling otherwise?”

  While Corina told of swelling and the occasional aches and pains of a basically textbook pregnancy, Kelly examined her. Unfortunately Corina hadn’t become a patient until after she was pregnant, so the free condoms hadn’t been available in time. Now this pretty, intelligent young woman faced motherhood a few months before she was supposed to be graduating from high school.

  “Tell me what you’re eating,” Kelly said.

  Corina rolled her eyes. “Three servings of protein, one with each meal. Milk with every meal. Fresh vegetables, four servings, and at least two fruits. No sodas, only one candy bar every couple of days.”

  “You’re still getting the food stamps?”

  Corina nodded. Her long black braids swayed with the movement. She had beautiful wide, brown eyes and skin the color of café au lait.

  “I keep them at a friend’s house,” Corina said. “And I only shop for a couple of days at a time. My mom doesn’t know about them.”

  “Good.”

  The teenager’s mother had a drug problem, not to mention a fondness for alcohol. There wasn’t much money left for things like food and heat. Until Kelly had stepped in, Corina had often gone without a decent meal for days at a time.

  “How’s school?” Kelly asked.

  “Okay. I’m studying hard. I’ve been talking to my teachers about maybe taking my midterms early, so that I don’t miss them. The baby’s due that week.”

  “I’m glad you’re planning ahead, but you do know that the baby might be late, right? This is your first, and they like to take their time.”

  “I know. I just want to be prepared.” Corina’s chin dropped. “I’m thinking of getting a job when I graduate.”

  “For the summer, you mean?”

  “Not exactly.”

  Kelly’s heart froze. As the teenager continued to avoid looking at her, her concern grew. “I thought you were going to college in the fall. You have that scholarship to Stanford. Corina, that’s an incredible opportunity. You’re one of the smartest young women I’ve ever met. You have a chance to be anything you want. Why would you turn your back on that?”

  The girl shrugged. “I wouldn’t, exactly.”

  “Then what’s going on?”

  Corina shrugged again.

  Kelly struggled for patience. “If you stay here, you’ll always be trapped by your past. Look around you. Is this what you want for yourself? Your mother has been on drugs since she was twelve. You don’t know who your father is. You have half brothers and sisters scattered who knows where. When you leave this town, you can be anyone you want. Your past stops here, and you only have to worry about your future. You have dreams—I know you do. We’ve talked about them. Why don’t you want the chance to make them come true?”

  Corina blinked back tears. “I want that so much,” she whispered. “But it’s not like you think. All my friends...they keep their babies. They stay here and find a life. They’ve been telling me that I’m a bad person for wanting to give up my baby. Half of them won’t even speak to me anymore. They’re saying if I was a real woman, I couldn’t give up my child, and that I’m selfish and wrong.”

  Tears flowed in earnest now. Corina brushed them away. “Dr. Kelly, I want to be just like you. I want to go to medical school and make something of myself. Then I want to come back to a place like this and save people’s lives. I can’t do that with a baby. I can’t. I want to go to college, but now I’m afraid that it’s wrong to want so much. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I should stay here and just get a job. Maybe learn to do hair or something.”

  For Kelly, listening to Corina was like staring into the mirror of her own past. She wasn’t sure what to think, let alone say.

  “Dr. Kelly? You have to tell me what to do.”

  Kelly pressed her lips together. Who was she to give answers? She’d messed up her own life so much she hadn’t been on a date in years. She was afraid to allow herself any joy because she felt she didn’t deserve it. According to her father, she was hiding behind a busy schedule. And she suspected he was right.

  She knew the past had a way of catching up with a person, but she hadn’t expected it to come in the form of a lost, frightened seventeen-year-old.

  Kelly opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn’t find any words. Just then she heard a text message notification. Grateful for the interruption, she glanced down at the display.

  “It’s the hospital,” she said, trying to keep the relief out of her voice. “I have to call them.”

  When she made the call, she was told about an emergency with one of her patients. She hurried back into the examining room.

  “I have to go,” she said, telling herself there was no need to feel guilty. “Make an appointment for two weeks and we’ll talk then, all right?”

  Corina was still crying.

  “I’m sorry,” Kelly said. “It’s an emergency. Remind Sharon to give you your vitamins. You’re doing great. Hang in there.”

  What pitiful advice, Kelly thought as she ran down the stairs and raced toward her car. The worst thing Corina could do was to be like her.

  As she drove toward the hospital, Kelly vowed she would make it up to the girl. Just as soon as she figured out how.

  * * *

  Tanner felt as if he’d stumbled into an old master’s painting. Kelly sat in the rocking chair in the corner, holding Lia in her arms. Subtle light brought out the gold in Kelly’s hair and made her skin glow. Lia was awake and staring up into Kelly’s eyes.

  Mother and child, he thought as he continued to study them. The same thought had crossed his mind on Thanksgiving. A few weeks ago he couldn’t have imagined having either of them in his life. Now he didn’t know what his world would be like without them.

  Kelly looked up at him. “You’re not working,” she said. “The wallpaper isn’t going to hang itself. Or are you waiting for me to offer?”

  “No, I’ll do it.”

  She smiled, and some of his tension eased. When Kelly had first arrived a couple of hours before, she’d been quiet and withdrawn. Normally she enjoyed talking about her day, but this time all she’d said was that she’d had an emergency at the hospital and that it had cut into her time at the clinic. She’d gone back to see as many patients as possible, but some hadn’t been able to wait for her.

  Tanner knew there was something else bothering her, but he wasn’t going to pry. When she wanted to talk, he would listen. Until then, he was content to enjoy her company.

  He checked the back of the border print he held. It was tacky but not too wet, so he climbed the short ladder and carefully smoothed it into place.

  “It’s crooked,” Kelly said helpfully. “And there are about a dozen air pockets.”

  “Thanks,” he muttered, reaching up to adjust the paper. But he’d waited too long and it didn’t slide against the wall anymore. He gave a hard shove. Instead of moving, the border print tore. A short p
iece separated from the rest and fluttered to the floor.

  “Don’t say anything,” he commanded as he ripped off the rest of the strip and flung it down. “I hate hanging wallpaper.”

  Kelly cleared her throat. “Wow, so when you offered to pay me back by wallpapering my house, you were lying. Even I can do better than you.”

  “Yeah, well, I hate hanging wallpaper. Why can’t people just use paint?” He hunched his shoulder and turned to glare at her. “I wasn’t lying. I would have done it. I was just hoping you’d let me do something else. Maybe something simple like rewiring your house.”

  “Or you could have one of your men do it.”

  He shook his head. “That wouldn’t work. It’s my debt, so I have to pay you back.”

  “No debt,” she said softly. “We’re friends, Tanner. I’m happy to help.”

  She was tall and athletic, not at all petite or dainty, yet she was the most feminine woman he’d ever known. The hands holding his daughter were strong and capable. She was someone he could depend on, and there hadn’t been many types like that in his life.

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he said, snagging one of the fallen strips of border print.

  “Hanging paper?”

  “No, hanging a print that’s ballerina teddy bears. It’s so girly.”

  Kelly laughed. “You have a daughter. Get used to the girl thing.”

  “I guess. I even ordered curtains and the matching lamp. The good news is that when I told Lia about it, she was really happy.”

  “Oh? How did you know this?”

  “She smiled at me.” He made the statement faintly defensively, but he knew that she’d been smiling at him. Her lips had curved and everything.

  “Tanner, she’s two weeks old. She can’t smile. It was gas.”

  “It was not.”

  “Right.” Her look and her tone were indulgent.

  He shifted his attention to his daughter. Two weeks. Was that all the time it had been? It felt longer.

  “She still doesn’t have any toys,” he said. “I have to find time to get some before Christmas.”