Still The One: A Small Town Friends to Lovers Romance (The Heartbreak Brothers Book 2)

by Carrie Elks

  “Bye, Mom,” he said, his words peppered with grit.

  “You ready to go?” Logan asked him.

  “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  A smile flitted over his brother’s lips. “That’s good, because I just saw the caretaker pull up. I suggest we get out of here before he realizes we scaled the fence.”

  Tanner laughed. “If he catches us, I’m gonna blame it all on you.”

  “Why change the habit of a lifetime?” Logan slapped him on the back.

  “I love you, bro.” Tanner slapped him back, a little harder.

  Logan winced. “I love you, too. But if you hit me like that again, you’re dead meat.”

  “Becca’s coming over in twenty minutes,” Van told Zoe as she walked into the kitchen where Van was sitting at the table, staring out at the backyard. “She wants to take you out to breakfast.”

  Her car had been parked outside when she’d gotten up this morning, the keys slid through the mail slot as promised.

  Zoe eyed her warily. “Is that code for you and Mom are going to have an argument and you don’t want me to be here when you do?”

  “Kinda,” Van admitted, shaking her head at how observant her sister was. When Becca had messaged her that morning, she’d jumped at the offer because Zoe didn’t need to hear the conversation Van and their mom needed to have.

  She wanted to protect her, the way nobody had protected Van.

  “Okay then.” Zoe nodded with a smile. “I hope we go to the diner. I love the pancakes.”

  “I’m pretty sure you will. It’s Becca’s favorite place.”

  Zoe pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, then looked up at Van. “Are you okay?” she asked.

  The question made Van’s heart clench. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But I will be.”

  “I heard you crying last night.”

  “You did? I’m sorry about that. I thought I was being quiet.” She hated knowing Zoe heard her.

  “You don’t have to say sorry for crying. Is it because of Mom and Mr. Fairfax?” Zoe patted her hand. “He’s not so bad. Maybe he’ll be a good dad.”

  “I think I’m too old to need a dad.” Van gave her a half smile. “And anyway, it’s not about him. It’s more about the embarrassment of it all. I’m so sorry you had to hear it. Sorry that everybody did. Are you worried about people talking about you at school?”

  Zoe blinked. “Why would I be worried about that?”

  Van lifted the half-drunk cup of coffee to her lips, taking a sip. “Because people say the most awful things. When I was at school, I hated the way everybody gossiped about Mom.”

  Zoe’s brows came together, as though she was thinking hard. “But why does it matter what people say? It’s not like anything Mom does is our fault. It’s not your fault that Mr. Fairfax’s your dad. So why do you look so upset about it?”

  Her question brought Van up short. She lifted her head up, considering her sister’s question. Why was she so upset? Because people were talking? In Hartson’s Creek, people always talked. It was practically a town sport.

  It wasn’t the talking that hurt, as much as it was the judgment. Knowing that they looked down on her because of her mom’s choices in life. People like Nora Fairfax and Chrissie. Growing up, she’d worn that judgment like a heavy cloak. Yeah, she’d try to shake it off, ignore it, or even play up to it with all the stunts she and Tanner had pulled. But it was still there, weighing her down, reminding her of where she came from.

  “I guess I feel like if I tried harder, mom wouldn’t make so many bad choices.” Her heart felt tight just saying it.

  Zoe’s brows lifted. “You sound like she’s the kid and you’re the mom.”

  Out of the mouths of babes… Van blinked, because that’s exactly how it felt. It’s how their relationship had always been. For as long as she could remember, she’d taken on the responsibility of her mom’s behavior. Winced at the embarrassment of it, hated the judgment.

  But not Zoe. She’d never done that.

  Yeah, she’d called Van when Craig left and their mom went off the rails. But not because she felt responsible, but because she didn’t know what to do.

  Zoe had cried when her friends went to the Maroon 5 concert, but that was because she was missing out, not because she felt they were judging her.

  Her hands shook as she picked her coffee cup up again. Tanner had been right last night when he’d accused her of being afraid. Of being willing to lose all the good things that happened to her rather than let people talk about her.

  “Are you okay?” Zoe asked. Van blinked, realizing she hadn’t said a word for more than a minute.

  No, she wasn’t. All her life she’d thought of herself as brave. Intrepid. Nothing phased her. Yet the shaking in her body was out of control. The way she’d behaved as a kid had been a mask. Something she’d pulled on to hide the fear and the pain. The same emotions that were wracking her body right now.

  She was afraid. So afraid that if she was honest people wouldn’t like her. Much easier to pretend she didn’t care.

  “Van?” Zoe prompted.

  Van looked at Zoe, a reassuring smile on her face. “I’m just thinking about what you said.”

  “Can I ask you something?” Zoe’s voice lowered.

  Van nodded. “Sure.”

  “I heard you and Tanner arguing last night. Are you mad at him about something?”

  Van’s eyes shone with tears. “No, I’m not mad at him.” It was true. But she was furious at herself. When her mom had made that announcement last night, she’d withdrawn the way she always did. Taken on the burden of choices two people made before she was born.

  “That’s good, because I really like Tanner. He’s cool. And so are his brothers.” Zoe smiled. “And Becca. I love Becca.”

  “I’m pretty sure the feeling’s mutual,” Van murmured, her thoughts still filled with him.

  There was a knock at the door, and Zoe shot out of the kitchen, wrenching open the front door. Van could see Becca standing there. “I’m almost ready,” Zoe said. “I just need to brush my teeth.”

  “Then get to it.” Becca grinned, looking over her shoulder to smile at Van. “I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.” Zoe ran into the bathroom, as Becca walked into the kitchen and smiled at Van. “Hey.”

  “Thanks for dropping my car off this morning,” Van said, giving her a hug

  “No problem. Logan dropped me off at the drive-in at the asscrack of dawn. That guy really needs to learn how to sleep in.” Becca grimaced. “But I did get a nice walk back to the house.”

  You want coffee?” Van asked her, biting down a smile.

  “No, I’ll get one at the diner. How are you doing?”

  “Better.” Van nodded. “Can I ask you how Tanner is?”

  Becca sat in the chair next to Van’s. “I don’t know. He was gone when I got back after dropping your car. But last night he was a mess.” She shifted on her feet. “I feel really uncomfortable talking to you about him. I hate being in the middle.” She blew out a mouthful of air. “We’re still friends, right?”

  Van’s chest tightened. Of course Becca shouldn’t get involved. It was unfair to her, and to them as well. “Of course we are. And thank you for being so sweet to Zoe. I know she appreciates it.”

  “She’s a good kid. I like her a lot.” Becca smiled. “I hope you get a little bit of peace while we’re gone.”

  “I’m ready,” Zoe said, running into the kitchen. “I even brushed my hair. Can we go now?”

  “Sure.” Becca stood, giving Van a smile. “We’ll see you later.”

  Van nodded. “Thanks.”

  She saw the two of them out, closing the front door gently behind them, then turned back to the hallway.

  Her mom was standing there, fully dressed, her hair spilling over her shoulders as she stared at Van.

  Van walked back into the kitchen and poured them both a fresh mug of coffee.

  It looked like it was going to be a day f
or talking.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Tanner’s phone beeped right as he and Logan walked through the front door of Gray’s house. He pulled it out of his pocket as they followed their older brother to his expansive, state-of-the-art kitchen, where the huge glass doors were flung open, the late-morning sun blasting through.

  He checked the screen. Just a junk email. Tanner swallowed down his disappointment.

  “Coffee?” Gray asked.

  “Give me a vatful,” Logan said. “This guy had me up at the ass crack of dawn.”

  “It was the other way around, dumbass.” Tanner lifted an eyebrow, his gaze still stuck on his phone screen. He watched as it slowly faded to black.

  “Two coffees coming up. Cam’s on the phone in the backyard,” Gray said, sliding a pod into the flap at the front of his expensive coffee machine.

  “Where’s Maddie?” Tanner asked, looking around for her.

  “She’s gone out.” The corner of Gray’s lip twitched. “Said this was ‘brother business’ and she wasn’t getting involved.” He held the coffee out to Tanner.

  “We’re all checked in for our flight,” Cam said to Logan as he walked into the kitchen. “I got a car meeting us at the other end. We need to leave for the airport by two.”

  “Thanks, bro.” Logan nodded. “I owe you one.”

  “What’s for brunch?” Cam asked as he pulled out one of the stools set around the huge breakfast bar. “I’m starving.”

  “Chilli’s in the oven,” Gray said, passing him and Logan both a coffee, then pouring himself one. “Now we just need to pull Tanner’s head out of his ass and we can eat.”

  “You guys are obsessed with my ass,” Tanner muttered, shaking his head.

  “I’m obsessed with you not making a huge mistake,” Gray told him. “So come on, talk. What’s going on with you and Van Butler?”

  Tanner sighed, leaning his elbows on the counter and resting his head in his hands. Just hearing her name felt like a stab in the heart. “I’m in love with her.”

  “So why are you sitting here while she’s across town and neither of you are talking to each other?” Gray asked, his brow furrowing.

  “That was her decision.” Tanner looked up, his eyes catching Gray’s. “For some damn stupid reason she thinks I’m better off without her. Thinks all the things her mom has done are a bad reflection of her.” He shook his head. “It’s not the first time she’s walked away from us for what she says is my own good.” Tanner’s jaw felt so damn tight. “She did it ten years ago before I went to Duke.”

  “You two were a thing ten years ago?” Cam asked. “Why didn’t I know this?” He glanced at his twin. “Did you know this?”

  “Yep.” Logan nodded. “I know the whole sorry story.”

  “What story?” Gray asked. “Anybody want to fill me in?”

  Tanner sighed and took another sip of coffee. It did nothing to elevate his mood. “I was in love with her ten years ago. We kind of hooked up at the Senior Prom.”

  “I thought you went to prom with Chrissie Fairfax,” Gray said.

  “I did. But if you remember, we shared a car with Van and her date, who was my friend, Brad. But he was an asshole and the two of them had an argument and he left along with our ride, so she was on her own.” Tanner blew out a mouthful of air. “And then Chrissie got pissed with me because I asked if Van could catch a ride home with us and her dad.” Tanner shook his head. “So in the end Van and I were left with each other and… well… the rest was history.”

  Gray laughed. “Ah, the drama of high school prom. So what happened next?”

  Tanner blew out a mouthful of air. “The usual. We dated. We made out. And we both had already gotten accepted to Duke. It was all ahead of us, and we were so damn excited. Then later in the summer, out of nowhere, she came and told me we were over, and she wasn’t going to Duke anymore.”

  “So why’d she break up with you?” Gray asked.

  “She said she was thinking about it and she didn’t want to settle down. Didn’t want to make the same mistakes her mom had made. That she was going to stay in Hartson’s Creek and get a job, think about what she wanted to do next.”

  “Shit, that must have been a kick in the balls.” Cam sighed.

  “You could say that.” Tanner swallowed hard, remembering the way he’d begged her to change her mind. But she was adamant. She didn’t want to talk to him, and refused to take his calls. And when he’d turned up at the drive-in, she’d not been anywhere in sight.

  It had felt like grief washing over him, making his whole body ache. He’d lost the girl he was in love with, but even worse, he’d lost his best friend and he had no idea why.

  “What happened next?” Gray asked. “That can’t be the whole story. It doesn’t make any sense.”

  “That’s because it was bull. All of it. I only found out later the real reason she broke it off. Turns out her mom was pregnant, and Van gave all the money she’d saved for college to help out with the baby, with Zoe. And she was too damn proud to tell me, because she thought I’d either try to help her out or stay here with her instead of going to college.”

  “Would you have done that?” Gray asked him.

  “Hell yeah. Of course I would have. I’d have asked you guys for help, or spoken to Dad or Aunt Gina. Done something to make things better for her. It wasn’t her responsibility to stay with her mom. She was eighteen years old and brilliant as hell. She didn’t have to give up her life for her mom’s mistakes.”

  Gray nodded slowly. “I would have helped.”

  “I know, man. I know.”

  “You need to tell them the rest,” Logan said to him.

  “There’s more?” Gray asked.

  “Of course there’s more.” Logan shook his head. “Why do you think the two of them haven’t spoken for ten years?”

  Tanner’s gut twisted. “Yeah, well this is the part where I really messed up. And I’ve regretted it every day of my life. As you know, I went to Duke, and there were a few friends from school there with me. A few weeks into the semester, all the girls came up to visit. I messaged Van and begged her to come, too. Even offered to drive up and give her a ride. I thought maybe she’d change her mind.” He licked his dry lips. “But she didn’t reply. And when they arrived, that’s when I realized it was really over with me and Van. That she didn’t care. She wasn’t coming, and I had to start living my life without her. And that sucked. I loved her. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my body. So when somebody opened the first keg up later that afternoon, I started drinking and didn’t stop. It felt good. Like I was able to breathe for the first time in weeks.”

  “Never a good idea.” Cam shook his head.

  “Yeah, well it felt like it at the time. The whole thing turned into a party. We were dancing, playing beer pong, having fun. Then this girl…” Tanner started laughing, though there was no humor in it. “Damn, I can’t even remember her name. She was in my math class, that’s all I remember. Anyway, she started dancing with me, and the next minute we were kissing.” Tanner shook his head. “Like really kissing. I can’t remember which one of us suggested going to my dorm room, but things got a little heated.” He lifted an eyebrow. “You can probably guess the rest.”

  “You slept with her?” Gray asked.

  Tanner inhaled sharply. “She stayed the night in my dorm. But the next morning about seven, somebody was banging on the door. At first I thought it was one of her friends checking on her, so I pulled my shorts on and went to answer the door. But it wasn’t her friend, it was Van.”

  “Oh shit,” Cam said softly.

  “I held the door open a crack, and Van started vomiting words, telling me that her mom was pregnant and she’d made a mistake. That she loved me and was so sorry for hurting me, and wanted us to try again.” He lifted his eyes to look at his brothers. They were all leaning in, staring at his mouth, waiting for his next words. “And then the girl walked over wearing only my t-shirt and mad
e it pretty damn obvious what went on.”

  “What did Van say?” Gray asked.

  “Nothing. She said nothing.” Tanner swallowed hard. “She just looked at me for a moment, as though she was waiting for an explanation. And I should have said something. Anything to make it better. But instead I panicked. That’s when she turned and ran away.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “When she ran, I froze. I didn’t try to explain or chase after her, and I’ve regretted that for the rest of my life.” He’d never forget Van’s face as she stared at him. Or the single tear drop that slid down her cheek. And though he’d tried to call, to talk to her, she’d refused to answer.

  There were moments you regretted forever. That changed your life in the hardest way. That moment was his.

  And it was happening all over again.

  “Oh Jesus, Tanner.” Gray sighed.

  “I know. I fucking know.” He dropped his head into his hands. “That was the last time we talked until she came back. I saw her in town a couple of times, when we were both visiting, but we didn’t acknowledge each other. She just kept on walking.”

  And it had hurt like hell every time. Because he knew he’d messed up, with no clue how to make it better. So much easier to pretend she didn’t exist.

  “The sooner you two start talking the better,” Gray muttered. “If you did that the first time maybe you wouldn’t be here now.”

  “They’d be married with kids,” Logan said. “For sure.”

  Tanner shook his head. “You’re not making me feel any better.”

  “You want that?” Gray asked. “You want to commit to her?”

  “Yes.” His response was immediate. “I want her so damn much it hurts.”

  The oven timer began to beep. Gray walked over, turning it off, then pulled the door open, the deep aroma of chilli filling the kitchen. “Looks like it’s ready.” He pulled the dish out with a towel and put it on the counter.