The Chocolate Raccoon Rigmarole

by JoAnna Carl

  It was surprising how lightly Dolly could move as she ran for the stairwell. She flitted across the dining room and a corner of the living room and then disappeared behind the door that hid the steps to the second floor.

  This had been one of Joe’s days at the law firm, so he was wearing a suit. I greeted him at the door with a kiss.

  “Nice day?” I asked.

  He looked puzzled. “You look more cheerful than you did when I left this morning.”

  “I feel better. Dolly turned up.”

  “She turned up? Where is she? And where had she been?”

  I took his hand and led him into the living room. I threw open the door to the stairwell and made a dramatic gesture.

  “Ta-da!”

  “Dolly!” Joe yelled a greeting, and the three of us went into a group hug, rocking back and forth and mumbling words like “Thank God” and “I’m so glad!” and “You scamp! Where did you go?” as we made very little effort not to rouse the entire neighborhood.

  After a full minute of hugging, Joe let go but kept an arm around each of us. “There’s only one bad thing about this reunion of pals,” he said.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “I have news. And it’s not good news. Since we’re all together, you two will have to hear it at the same time. The news is Watt Wicker has disappeared.”

  “We know Watt left the hospital. It’s okay, Hogan thinks he’s just wandered off.”

  “I’m afraid that idea has changed. Watt has really disappeared.”

  Dolly’s voice got loud again. “But Mike agreed to keep him out of trouble!”

  “Watt had mentioned Wildflower several times, and Mike thought the guy was headed out to her place, probably hitchhiking. Mike thought he would show up on her doorstep soon. But it’s been—well, at least three or four hours, and Watt is not at Wildflower’s. No one—not Wildflower, not Mike, not anybody else—seems to know where he is.”

  Chapter 14

  “Honestly!” Dolly’s voice shook. “That Mike! He was sure he could corral Watt.”

  “I’m sure he felt confident that he could do that. But I guess Watt was too sneaky for him. He’s gone.”

  I jumped in then. “Joe, doesn’t Mike have any idea where Watt has gone?”

  “He says he doesn’t.” Joe made calming motions and urged both Dolly and me to sit down. Then he reported.

  Joe told us Mike had taken Watt to a cottage Mike owned, located about two blocks from his own house. “It’s still in Warner Pier,” Joe said. “It was part of Mike’s parents’ estate. But it’s sort of ramshackle and hidden by bushes and trees. Like a lot of things over there on the lakeshore.”

  Dolly was nodding vigorously, so I realized she must know about this cottage. “Mike works on that place when he gets time,” she said. “It could be fixed up really cute. That’s one reason he wanted the part-time job with the city and these other little jobs he’s taken—to save up some extra money for that project. I think he’d really like to live in it.”

  Joe nodded. “Yeah, for a while Mike thought about selling it ‘as is,’ and he showed it to a few people. He took me over there because Hogan and I redid the Bailey house last year, and we talked about how much it would cost.

  “The cottage needs a lot of work, but it would make a great place to live—or a cool rental. Mike probably thought that he and Watt could hide out there a few days, since only a few people know about it. So Hogan arranged for Mike to take Watt out of the hospital last night, and he and Watt spent the night there. Mike was keeping a close eye on Watt because of his head injury, and he told Hogan, who told me, that Watt was perfectly calm and seemed to rest okay. Then, this morning, Watt expressed a desire for a bowl of cereal.”

  Joe gestured again. “It seemed to be an innocent request. Mike had brought bacon and eggs along, but no cereal and no milk. So when Watt said he wanted to take a nap, Mike figured it was a good time to pick you up, Dolly. Plus, he could drive into Holland and buy milk and shredded wheat at the same time.”

  “Holland?” I was puzzled. “There are a dozen places to buy milk and cereal closer than Holland.”

  Joe nodded. “Mike says he was afraid to go to our very own Warner Pier Superette or closer places, because he was sure he’d run into someone he knew. Such as the checker. And Watt seemed calm and satisfied with staying at the cottage alone. But Watt may have been using his request as an excuse to get Mike out of the way. Because when Mike got back—after a little over an hour—no Watt. He had disappeared.”

  “And Mike has no clue where Watt has gone?”

  Joe shook his head seriously. “Mike’s wringing his hands, mainly in frustration because Hogan wants him to stay under cover there at the cottage in case Watt comes back, and Mike wants to get out and scour the town looking for the guy. Of course, I guess Watt might have simply gone out for a long walk, but it’s been quite a while now.”

  Joe went on talking. “There’s one sighting. Katy and Darcy—I’m sure you remember them—claim that they saw him. But their story sounds sort of dumb.”

  “Where was he?”

  “On the roof of the shoe shop. Sleeping.”

  That stopped the conversation for a few moments. We all stared at one another. And when someone spoke, it was Dolly.

  “The roof of the shoe shop? How the heck would Katy and Darcy get up there?”

  “Katy and Darcy weren’t up there—they looked across the alley, and they swear they saw Watt.”

  Dolly frowned, and Joe went on. “The girls were moving out of their apartment. And the apartment has a clear view of the shoe shop’s roof. When they saw Watt—or the guy they thought was Watt—apparently sleeping on that flat roof, they called Bill to tell him about it. But when they looked again, the person was gone.”

  “But why on earth would Watt be up on the roof?” Dolly asked. “And how would he get there?”

  “Remember, there are built-in ladders at the back corners of that building—for fire safety or for repairmen. Getting there is easy. The question is, Why did Watt leave the cottage? And why would he climb to the roof of the store? Plus, was he really asleep?”

  The three of us paused a moment to be puzzled.

  “Well,” Joe said, “we don’t know the answer to those questions. But I do have one more piece of news. I talked to Mike, and I asked him to sneak out and come over here for dinner.”

  “Here?” I made a noise like a startled hostess. “I was going to give us canned tomato soup!”

  “How about tomato pizza?” Joe asked.

  Dolly nodded. “That should be fine. Mike won’t expect a fancy meal. And I brought all the salad veggies I had, so they wouldn’t spoil, in case I was gone several days. Do you have balsamic vinegar? And olive oil?”

  Leave it to Dolly to come up with a gourmet salad dressing when all my refrigerator held was Kraft. By the time Mike’s giant red truck pulled into our lane, she had torn up enough salad greens for four and shaken up a jar of something tart and tasty.

  Neither Joe nor I asked Dolly if it was okay with her for Mike to join the party. If she and Mike wanted to continue their quarrel, they’d have to do it after dinner. We were more concerned with hiding his truck. Luckily it fit behind some bushes and trees next to our teensy garage. And at least it wasn’t visible from the main road.

  Dolly would never have gotten even her VW in our tiny garage if we hadn’t already taken the picnic table and chairs out for the summer.

  So Dolly made salad, Joe ordered pizza, and it turned into the easiest company dinner I ever served. The only things I contributed were red wine, Parmesan, and paper plates.

  Conversation was easy, too. Dolly and Mike were so worried that they forgot they were mad at each other. Where was Watt? That was all we talked about. The words flowed until there was only one half of the second pizza left. That’s when
the phone rang.

  Silence fell immediately. I know I was hoping it was someone with news about Watt.

  “Okay,” Joe said to Mike and Dolly, “you two are still hiding out, remember. Lee answers, and nobody else makes a sound.”

  I let the phone ring until I was sure everybody was with the program. Dolly even put her hand over her mouth.

  Then the whole situation struck me as ridiculous. I laughed as I reached for the telephone. “It’s probably somebody wanting to give me a lower interest rate on my credit card. Hello!”

  “Lee?”

  “This is she.”

  “It’s Darcy. You know. Across the alley?”

  “Of course. Darcy. I heard you and Katy were moving out today.”

  “Yes. I guess we’re chicken. Katy and I decided we’d better give up the shoe business and try something else. But we wanted to thank you and Dolly for being so great to us last night.”

  “Oh, Darcy. We were so sorry that you two had to be mixed up in such a horrid event.” Then I lied. “I’ve been thinking of the two of you all day. And Dolly and I are both hoping that things will go better for you in the future.”

  Actually I’d had so many other things on my mind that I’d barely thought of those two girls. Now I felt guilty. “Are you moving home?”

  “Yes, we’re each going to stay with our parents this summer. Next year we’ll try getting out on our own again. Like I said, maybe we’re chicken—”

  “Oh, I don’t think so!”

  “We still don’t know who was in the garage and scared us so bad. And the cops seem to think maybe nobody was in there. That we dreamed up the whole thing.”

  “I know you didn’t.”

  “And when I think of poor Paige . . .”

  “I know, Darcy. It’s a tragic story.”

  “You know, Paige was so nice to us, but she couldn’t seem to get her act together. She was always having man trouble.”

  I immediately thought of the conversation I had heard in Herrera’s ladies’ room. “Who had she been dating?”

  “Some guy named Bob. Kinda old. I never learned his last name.” Darcy gave a big sniff. “Anyway, if anybody needs us, Chief Jones has our phone numbers.”

  “If you get back to Warner Pier, be sure you drop by to see us.”

  “We will. Actually, we have to drop by the shoe store tomorrow to pick up our final checks. And this afternoon we went by TenHuis for one last bonbon, and we told Barbara and Dale good-bye.”

  “If I see you all looking in the display window, I’ll stick out my tongue.”

  That made Darcy chuckle, and we hung up on a happier note.

  I opened my mouth to ask Mike about who “his” Bob was, but Joe started talking before I could.

  “Mike,” he said, “just how well do you know Watt?”

  “I’ve known him off and on a long time.”

  “How’d you meet him?”

  “We worked together.”

  “What would you say are Watt’s weaknesses?”

  Mike nodded and looked out the window. “I see where you’re going, Joe. Yes, way back when I first knew Watt, he used to put back a lot of booze. But I feel certain he’s been dry for—oh, at least ten years now. If I wasn’t confident of that, I’d have warned Lee, or anyone he worked for.”

  We dropped that subject, but I’m sure everyone put it in a mental pocket. Would we find Watt at the corner bar?

  Everyone mulled that over for a moment, until I finally asked the question that had been puzzling me. “Mike, who is Bob?”

  Chapter 15

  My question was answered with complete silence. Mike simply stared at me. Then he gulped.

  Finally he said, “There’s a bunch of guys named Bob. It’s a pretty common name.”

  “I mean the one you threatened a couple of weeks ago,” I said.

  Dolly gave a little gasp and stared at Mike.

  “Did I threaten anyone?” Mike’s eyes got squinty, and he looked at me sideways. “I don’t remember doing that.”

  “This happened in the Warner Pier Rest-Stop, during the coffee club. Your phone rang, and you left the table to answer it. But all of us could still hear you.”

  Mike ducked his head over his pizza. “I couldn’t have been serious, Lee.” He took a big bite of salad.

  “I don’t think you were serious, Mike. But it sounded as if you were talking to somebody who owed you money.”

  Mike swallowed. “I guess he paid up. Because I’ve forgotten the whole episode.”

  “It was pretty dramatic,” I said. “You said, ‘I’ll be over to see you . . . and I’m not bringing a lawyer.’ ”

  Joe cleared his throat, then jumped into the conversation. “Mike, I always wonder where you come up with some of the colorful things you say.”

  “Everybody in my family talks a little crazy, Joe. I just repeat the things I grew up with.”

  “I guess we all do that,” Joe said. “I had an uncle who used to mix up old sayings. He’d say, ‘I’ll do that even if it harelips the dog,’ instead of the usual ‘harelips the queen,’ for example. And, Lee, I always wondered where you got that phrase you use sometimes: ‘Each to his own taste, as the old maid said when she kissed the cow.’ ”

  “My Texas grandmother used to say it, Joe. She said she got it from her grandmother.”

  The subject was successfully changed. Joe had flipped the topic of conversation, subtly taking Mike off the hot seat.

  But I still did not know who Bob was. Mike had not answered my question. And I was not buying his claim that he didn’t remember talking to Bob. In the Warner Pier Rest-Stop, in front of the whole coffee club.

  But I shut up. For the moment. Apparently this was what Joe wanted me to do, and I trusted his judgment.

  I’d ask why later.

  I was still worried about Watt, of course. Then our not-very-happy gathering was interrupted by a knock at the front door.

  Immediately, the four of us went into lockdown. Mike and Dolly tiptoed for the stairwell at quick march. Joe headed for the door, and I grabbed two place settings off the table, trying to make it look as if only two people had been eating.

  I was throwing the paper plates away when I heard Joe. “Alex! Nice to see you. What brings you over?”

  “I had an unexpected meeting, Joe.”

  I heard footsteps, and I looked out into the living room. Alex Gold was moving inside from the front porch. “I ran into someone I think you know.” He gestured behind himself. I almost expected to hear him give a loud “Ta-da!”

  And Watt stepped into the house.

  Talk about excitement. “Watt!” Joe yelled. Dolly and Mike rushed in from their hiding place. I shouted. There was yelling, cheering, dancing, jumping—if our ceiling wasn’t too low, I’d swear somebody did a cartwheel. I think I contributed a high kick and maybe shook a few imaginary pom-poms. Watt was hugged and kissed and escorted to the table, where he was offered pizza, iced tea, hot tea, coffee, ice cream, and, of course, bonbons. Dolly burst into tears. That made me cry.

  It took several minutes before Joe whistled. “Quiet!” he yelled. “Does Hogan know he’s here?”

  “Well, no,” Watt said.

  Joe grabbed the phone and called Hogan while Dolly and I asked if Watt and Alex had eaten. Thank goodness we hadn’t finished off the pizza.

  Then the sirens began to sound. Three patrol cars showed up. Hogan jumped out of the first one and ran into the house. He pounded Watt on the back.

  Watt smiled, but his eyelids drooped and he didn’t have anything to say. He sat quietly, so quietly I wondered if he was fully conscious.

  Gradually, everything calmed down. Hogan ran off the extra patrolmen, Watt and Alex were given food and drink—always Dolly’s first priority—and Hogan asked the key question.


  “Watt, where have you been?”

  Watt looked at him without expression. “Chief, I was downtown, and I met Mr. Gold. But I don’t know how I got there.”

  Hogan patted his shoulder. “I believe you need to be checked out by a doctor.”

  Watt looked at him narrowly. “Maybe so,” he said. “Maybe so. I sure seem to have lost a day.”

  That put a damper on our excitement.

  Mike was crushed and sure he had taken proper care of Watt. He kept saying, “But he seemed to be doing fine.” Hogan kept saying this was merely a precaution, and Dolly announced that a bowl of chicken soup would probably fix Watt right up. I tried to keep my mouth shut, though I remember telling Joe, “He just seems to be confounded—I mean, confused!”

  Hogan called an ambulance to take Watt back to the hospital for observation. But Watt told him he didn’t really need to go.

  “I’d talk if I knew anything about today,” he said.

  “Mike says he picked you up at the hospital yesterday evening,” Hogan said. “Do you remember that?”

  “Oh, sure. We went to a cottage he owns out on the lakeshore. Around Pilot’s Point.”

  “What time did you get there?”

  “About nine. I went to bed pretty soon after.”

  Mike nodded, agreeing with Watt’s account. Watt continued. “I still felt pretty rocky. Bad headache. But I slept okay. I had a prescription. I got up around seven this morning.”

  “And?” Hogan was as deadpan as Watt.

  “And nothing. Mike made eggs.”

  “You didn’t eat them,” Mike said.

  “Those eggs were fine, Mike. I’m just not much of an egg eater.”

  Hogan nodded. “So you told Mike you’d rather have cereal.”

  “Well, yeah, Hogan. We all have our favorite foods, I guess. I felt pretty crummy, because of my head. And I like shredded wheat for breakfast.”

  “So you really wanted shredded wheat, and there wasn’t any. Mike went to get you some cereal and milk. He also planned to pick up Dolly. He says you promised to stay at his house while he was gone.”