William Shakespeare's the Merry Rise of Skywalker

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by Ian Doescher

—The Emperor, his fleet—they hide

  Within the provinces unknown, a world

  Call’d Exegol. This is, indeed, no dream.

  R2-D2

  Beep, meep, squeak!

  C-3PO

  —Exegol doth not appear

  On any star chart. Legend knows it as

  The hidden planet of the wicked Sith.

  [Rey runs to find a book.

  REY

  [aside:] To find the Sith—of such I late have read.

  ’Twas Master Luke did first pursue the task.

  POE

  Yea, Palpatine abided all this time,

  And pull’d the strings of evil’s puppetry.

  The heart had ceas’d to beat—volition, though,

  Had not departed from his awful mind.

  LEIA

  Concealèd in the shadows from the start.

  MAZ

  If we would stop him, we must find him first.

  The furtive Exegol we must detect.

  [Rey returns with the book.

  REY

  Pray, General, a word.

  LEIA

  —Friends, give us leave

  To speak a word or two.

  [Exeunt all, talking among themselves,

  except Rey and Leia.

  REY

  —I know how we

  May find myster’ous Exegol.

  LEIA

  —Pray tell!

  REY

  Luke was in search of it for many years

  And nearly found it, too, ere he expir’d.

  This book—among the sacred Jedi texts—

  Containeth ciphers far beyond my ken.

  To get to Exegol, one needeth this:

  A Sith wayfinder, which a compass is

  That leadeth swiftly unto Exegol.

  Thus shall we stop what we both know shall come—

  ’Tis right that I conclude what Luke began:

  Find Exegol and find the Emperor.

  LEIA

  Nay.

  REY

  —Sans thy blessing I’d not go, but will.

  Indeed, I shall. ’Tis e’en what thou wouldst do.

  Enter POE DAMERON, FINN, CHEWBACCA, C-3PO, and BB-8.

  POE

  The ship hath been repair’d and may depart,

  To face a terror for which there’s no name.

  REY

  Thou hadst it right before, Poe, I must go.

  I’ll venture forth to follow in Luke’s path

  And seek out Exegol. I shall begin

  Where first Luke’s trail turn’d cold, the desert lands

  Forbidden of Pasaana.

  POE

  —Yea, I know.

  There is a game of puzzles, which is play’d

  Upon a map. We shall go with thee, Rey.

  [To Chewbacca:] Pray Chewie, hast thou the compressor

  fix’d?

  CHEWBAC.

  Egh.10

  REY

  [to Finn:] —This I’d do alone.

  FINN

  —Alone with friends.

  Bid us not leave thee; we are not afeard.

  REY

  ’Tis far too dangerous.

  FINN

  —We fly as one.

  Together gone, together safe and well.

  CHEWBAC.

  Auugh, egh!11

  BB-8

  —Flig fllireej zoonblis zood blay blee

  Zooz bleezilf zood!

  C-3PO

  —I heartily agree!

  REY

  How can I question, with such friends as ye?

  Enter ROSE TICO.

  FINN

  Rose, ’tis thy chance to seek thy fate and come.

  ROSE

  The General hath ask’d me to remain

  And study all the intricacies of

  The Star Destroyers of the past, that we

  May stop the fleet if ye discover it.

  FINN

  Nay, spak’st thou if?

  ROSE

  —When.

  FINN

  —Yea, say when, forsooth.

  [Exit Rose Tico.

  POE

  [to Rey:] We must depart or we shall be too late

  And turn’d out of our office by the time.

  Thy mien, it darkens. What doth plague thy thoughts?

  REY

  Naught. Simply a goodbye I yet must say.

  [C-3PO approaches R2-D2.

  C-3PO

  Should it befall that I do not return,

  I would thou knewest what a friend thou art,

  And ever wert, to me. My best, in troth.

  R2-D2

  Beep, whistle, squeak! [Aside:] O, golden droid—with

  whom

  I long have squabbl’d, gladly did annoy—

  Shall thou, now, in this parting moment make

  Me shed a droidly tear in friendship’s name?

  Companion loyal, ever by my side,

  Thou art the better half who makes me whole.

  [Rey approaches Leia.

  REY

  Much would I say to thee ere I take leave.

  LEIA

  Tell me when thou returnest; gladly would

  I see thee then and hear thy pressing words.

  [Leia hands Rey Luke’s lightsaber.

  Thou worthy art, hast earn’d it many times.

  [They embrace.

  Rey, never be afeard of who thou art.

  [Rey, Poe, Finn, Chewbacca,

  C-3PO, and BB-8 board the

  Millennium Falcon. Exeunt others.

  CHEWBAC.

  Auugh!12

  REY

  —Yea. I would not from this team depart.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 4.

  On Kylo Ren’s command ship,

  the Steadfast.

  Enter KYLO REN.

  KYLO

  My mask, which once by Snoke’s ire I did crush,

  Hath been repair’d, forg’d solid once again.

  A master craftsman, Albrekh, did the deed,

  Employing ancient forges of the Sith.

  Sarrassian iron holds the pieces fast,

  And the result is that the helmet is—

  Like mine own skill and mine abilities—

  E’en stronger than it previously was.

  Enter KNIGHTS OF REN and various STORMTROOPERS.

  Enter GENERAL HUX, ALLEGIANT GENERAL PRYDE,

  GENERAL PARNADEE, GENERAL QUINN, and other

  OFFICERS of the First Order. All are seated.

  TROOPER 1

  [aside, to Trooper 2:] The Knights of Ren.

  TROOPER 2

  [aside, to Trooper 1:] —A horrid

  sight, by heav’n!

  [Kylo Ren throws Boolio’s head on the table.

  KYLO

  We have a spy conceal’d within our ranks—

  A base and spineless rogue, who hath convey’d

  A treas’nous message to th’Resistance vile.

  Whoe’er this traitor be, they’ll not stop us.

  With what I did espy on Exegol,

  The great First Order quickly shall become

  An empire true, with all the pow’r to match.

  Good Gen’ral Hux, I sense a deep unease

  About how I appear before thine eyes.

  [All turn and look at Hux.

  HUX

  Thy mask? Nay, verily. Well done, dread sir.

  PARNADEE

  It suits thee well. Thine aspect it improves.
r />   QUINN

  Forgive me, sir, I fain would speak my mind:

  These allies new on Exegol—is’t not

  A cult deriv’d from some foul madman’s schemes?

  We need no conjurers and soothsayers.

  PRYDE

  They conjur’d Star Destroyers by the score.

  If this be cultish, I shall gladly join.

  The Sith fleet shall increase our resources

  Ten thousand fold. If magic ’tis, ’tis well.

  Such range and pow’r correct the errant gaffe

  That was Starkiller Base and all its flaws.

  PARNADEE

  We must increase recruitment mightily.

  The pastures of the galaxy are ripe,

  And we shall harvest all the young we need.

  QUINN

  This fleet—doth it come to us as a gift?

  A present freely proffer’d, nothing more?

  Or shall the giver turn to asker soon—

  What doth the Emperor require of us?

  What treasures shall he ask for in return—

  [Using the Force, Kylo Ren begins choking

  General Quinn and raises him to the ceiling.

  KYLO

  Prepare to conquer any worlds that dare

  Defy our might. My knights and I shall fly,

  Bring back the scavenger and watch her die!

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 5.

  On Pasaana.

  Enter REY, POE DAMERON, FINN, CHEWBACCA, C-3PO, and BB-8.

  POE

  A desert world with sunlight burning bright,

  Resembling bleak Jakku or Tatooine—

  Too much of sand and dryness for my taste,

  Despite the tranquil, somewhat magical

  Strange radiance that hovers over all.

  C-3PO, art certain ’tis the place?

  C-3PO

  Indeed. These are th’exact coordinates

  That Master Luke hath left behind for us.

  Enter AKI-AKI, dancing and celebrating.

  POE

  What is this gathering we happen on?

  There is no quiet here, nor silence, nay.

  C-3PO

  The Aki-Aki Festival of the

  Dear Ancestors, methinks! This jubilee

  Occureth only once each forty-two

  Years—an auspicious number, verily.

  FINN

  ’Tis fortunate.

  C-3PO

  —Forsooth, it truly is!

  This festival is widely known both for

  Its kites most colorful and also sweets

  Delectable beyond imagining.

  [Rey, Poe, Finn, and Chewbacca

  turn and stare at C-3PO.

  [Aside:] Alas, ’twas never my intention to

  Become the center of attention here.

  Perchance they stare at something at the rear?

  [C-3PO turns and looks behind him.

  REY

  I ne’er have seen a festival like this,

  Such heartfelt celebration, full of life!

  FINN

  I ne’er have seen so few wayfinders, troth.

  POE

  There e’er are chance First Order–led patrols

  At such events and in enormous crowds.

  No day elapses, but it brings news of

  Decease of some acquaintance at their hands.

  Keep heads down—yea, Chewbacca, thou as well,

  Although thou art far taller than the rest.

  [Chewbacca bends down to keep his head low.

  Let us part company, that we may see

  Whatever local knowledge may be found.

  [All walk in different directions.

  REY

  [aside:] The colors, dancing, joy on ev’ry face.

  Behold these groups of children, seated whilst

  A show of puppetry amuseth them!

  They laugh withal their bellies, heartily

  Enjoying what the elders have display’d.

  Such innocence, such wonder, and such bliss—

  Did I e’er know such happiness as this?

  Enter an Aki-Aki named NAMBI GHIMA.

  She approaches REY, and C-3PO translates.

  NAMBI

  Mayedo-bu!

  C-3PO

  —She sayeth welcome here.

  NAMBI

  Meyay de la bonotui. Kobu

  Dig gamba danni beez. Bodidi oo

  Di Nambi Ghima.

  [Nambi Ghima places a necklace

  around Rey’s neck.

  C-3PO

  —She is Nambi Ghima.

  REY

  A name most excellent and beautiful.

  I am call’d Rey.

  NAMBI

  —Giodo lobuto?

  C-3PO

  She would be honorèd to learn the name

  Of thine ancestral family as well.

  REY

  I have no fam’ly name. I’m call’d plain Rey,

  And bonny Rey and sometimes Rey the curst.

  [Aside:] Alack, most suddenly my senses shriek—

  ’Tis Kylo Ren! The fiend doth contact me

  Through our most strange and enigmatic bond.

  She walks aside. Enter KYLO REN aside, in his chamber.

  They are joined in the Force and see each other.

  KYLO

  The Emperor, e’en Palpatine, would see

  Thee dead.

  REY

  —Thou foundest a new master, yea?

  KYLO

  Nay, I have plans of which he knoweth naught.

  My hand in partnership I offer’d once

  To thee, and sens’d thou wish’dst to take it up,

  To share the mantle of my power vast.

  Yet wherefore didst thou not?

  REY

  —Thou hadst the chance

  To kill me and did not. Why didst thou not?

  KYLO

  Thou canst not hide fore’er, Rey, not from me.

  We two are like a planet and its sun,

  Each circling round the other evermore.

  REY

  I spy betwixt the cracks of thy black mask

  And see the haunted man who lies therein.

  Thine eyes shall never cease to see the deed

  Thou didst inflict upon thy father kind—

  The death of good Han Solo, whom thou kill’dst.

  KYLO

  Dost thou still count the days that have elaps’d

  Since thy two parents left thee on Jakku?

  Such pain I feel within thee, pulsing like

  A perilous volcano soon t’erupt.

  Such anger, too, which powereth the blast.

  I would not kill thee, Rey. Yet I shall find

  Thee, turn thee to the dark side of the Force.

  When once again I proffer thee my hand,

  I’ll warrant thou shalt take it gratefully.

  REY

  Thus shall we see if ever we two meet.

  [Kylo reaches out and grasps the

  necklace around Rey’s neck, pulling

  it off her. Exit Kylo Ren.

  [Aside:] Our close connection turns to something more—

  He hath th’ability to touch me here,

  To be where I am momentarily

  That what is mine is his and his is mine.

  [Rey runs to find Poe and Finn.

  [To Poe and Finn:] We must depart unto the Falcon,

  now.

  FINN

  Yet wherefore must we so, Rey? Ca
nst thou tell?

  REY

  ’Tis Ren. He shall arrive anon, I fear.

  Enter KYLO REN, ALLEGIANT GENERAL PRYDE, and a

  FIRST ORDER OFFICER holding the necklace, above on balcony.

  OFFICER 1

  We had the necklace analyzèd, sir.

  ’Tis clearly from the system Midian—

  Pasaana, the Forbidden Valley there.

  KYLO

  Prepare my ship, alert the local troops.

  Send forth a new division presently.

  PRYDE

  E’en as thou sayest, Supreme Leader Ren.

  [Exeunt Kylo Ren, Allegiant

  General Pryde, and Officer 1.

  Enter STORMTROOPER 3, pointing a gun toward REY, POE

  DAMERON, FINN, CHEWBACCA, C-3PO, and BB-8, below.

  TROOPER 3

  Be still, or I shall use my gun on ye!

  [Into radio:] The fugitives of the Resistance have

  I found—all units hie ye hither quick—

  [An arrow strikes Stormtrooper 3

  in the helmet, and he dies.

  Enter LANDO OF CALRISSIAN, in a mask.

  LANDO

  I bid ye, follow. I shall keep you safe.

  [Rey, Poe, Finn, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and

  BB-8 follow Lando into his treadable.

  Enter KALO’NE, in the treadable.

  Kind Leia sent a message unto me.

  [To Kalo’ne:] Nadiyya tobiah.

  KALO’NE

  —Okay!

  [Kalo’ne starts driving the treadable

  away from the crowd.

  FINN

  —My friend,

  How didst thou find us?

  LANDO

  [taking off his mask:] —Wookiees in a crowd

  Have their partic’lar way of standing out.

  [Chewbacca embraces Lando.

  CHEWBAC.

  Auugh!13

  LANDO

  —Yea, ’tis well to see thee, too, my friend.

  C-3PO

  This man is Gen’ral Lando of Calriss—

  REY

  We all know who he is, C-3PO—

  His fame doth, like a herald, ere him go.

  FINN

  Forsooth, it is an honor, General.

  POE

  Brave General, we have come here upon

  A search for Exegol, a secret that

  Doth not permit itself to be reveal’d.

  LANDO

  ’Tis plain, and I know what it is ye seek.

  [He pushes a button, revealing a

  hologram of a Sith wayfinder.

  But two were made, which maketh them most rare.

  REY

  The Sith wayfinder. Luke Skywalker hath

  Come hither to find one of them.

  LANDO

  —I know,

  For I was with him on the venture grand.

  We two were trailing a most horrid beast—

 

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