The Oberon Anthology of Contemporary Irish Plays
Page 12
ANTOINETTE: Yeah. Called over to see Stacey an’ all.
PAULA: First time for everything.
ANTOINETTE: Yeah. That’s what I says.
PAULA: Musta been no free tables at the snooker hall?
ANTOINETTE: He’d a drink on him.
PAULA: Waster.
ANTOINETTE: Swore on his life it was just one. Crossed his heart. Bein’ all merry. All jovial an’ all.
PAULA: Yeah?
ANTOINETTE: Gave him his dinner then.
PAULA: You’re touched.
ANTOINETTE: Stacey was conked out on the couch.
Pause.
It was him what said it was like old times.
PAULA: Did he now?
ANTOINETTE: Cast your mind back – he says.
PAULA: Easy for him to say.
ANTOINETTE: That’s what I says.
PAULA: Too easy.
ANTOINETTE: Yeah.
PAULA: Prick.
ANTOINETTE: Cast your mind back – he says – You and me used to make a great team. We used to be somethin’ special us.
PAULA: Cringe.
ANTOINETTE: Big time.
PAULA: One drink me hole.
ANTOINETTE: Ge’rup out of that – I says to him – I’ve no need to cast me mind back. I’ve a child as a daily reminder.
PAULA: D’you say that to him?
ANTOINETTE: And the rest. Up the walls he had me. Spoutin’ all sorts of shite. How he loves me an’ all. How he just couldn’t cope an’ all, but that he always thinks about me and all this shite.
PAULA: And you gave him his dinner?
ANTOINETTE: Just kept sayin’ he loves me.
PAULA: Yeah?
ANTOINETTE: Like, nearly cryin’ he was.
Pause.
Over and over – I love ye.
PAULA: And what?
ANTOINETTE: Me heart was broken when he was goin’. Kissing me in the garden, like we’d only met or like we were in love or somethin’. Holdin’ me into him – kissin’ me like his life depended on it.
PAULA: And then leggin’ it.
ANTOINETTE: I love him Paula.
PAULA: And when was that ever enough?
ANTOINETTE is crying maybe.
ANTOINETTE: I love him and I hate him – am I mad?
PAULA: Dots is a waster love. Out and out. Just count up the times the fucker had the police at your door, or the bleedin’ eyes robbed out o’ your head? All for that selfish fucker to satisfy himself. Love isn’t nearly enough – and I know you do, but you’re too good for that shit. You’re better than that.
ANTOINETTE gathers herself.
ANTOINETTE: A good slap is what I need.
PAULA: Well that can be arranged. You want a sup a’ rosey?
ANTOINETTE: No – I better bleedin’ go…your wan downstairs has a bit of temper on her…she warned me not to be too long. Says I – Adeola, not bein’ funny or nothin’, but don’t lose the run of yourself sweetheart. She didn’t understand me but… sure who would, says you…I better be gone…
PAULA: You don’t want to stay for a while then? Egg and chips?
ANTOINETTE: I better go while I’ve the chance of a lift. I’ll never make it on the bus.
PAULA: You’re miles away.
ANTOINETTE stands by the door.
ANTOINETTE: I know. (Pause.) See ya love.
PAULA is left in the empty flat.
SCENE ELEVEN
ROXANNA and STEPH are at the Wasteland. DAN and PAULA are in PAULA’s kitchen. This scene plays out in two places at once. The time is the same in both. It’s a sort of split-screen scenario, but all should inhabit the space equally and maybe feel on top of each other. ROXANNA and DAN having played out different scenes will end up in the same scene.
DAN stands awkwardly with a bottle of champagne.
DAN: Where are the kids?
PAULA: (Points upstairs.) Sleepover in Jean’s.
They share a look. It’s their first time alone in the flat.
STEPH: (About the baby.) What does it feel like?
ROXANNA: Nothin’.
Pause.
Like an alien. It feels disgutin’.
DAN: I’m sorry.
PAULA: What for?
DAN: For arguing with you yesterday. I don’t know.
PAULA: You’re touched. You think that was a row? Don’t be soft…
He produces a bottle of champagne.
DAN: Well let’s call it a row. That way we get to drink this and make up.
PAULA: Oh yeah?
They kiss.
STEPH: Your man Trevor is a lovely kisser.
ROXANNA: What about the Alan one?
STEPH: Fuck him. Your man Trevor drove all the way out here.
Took us up the airport.
PAULA and DAN kiss or are close throughout the next section.
ROXANNA: Did you fuck him?
STEPH: Wanted to, but there was other cars there. He got a bit cranky then so I pulled him off to shut him up.
DAN: What?
PAULA: Sorry. I’m…
DAN: It’s okay. I’m the same.
PAULA: Really?
DAN: It’s been a while.
PAULA laughs.
I mean, I remember how it’s done. Don’t worry about that; but I’m a bit out of practice.
PAULA: Me too.
DAN: It’s okay.
They kiss.
STEPH: This young one messaged me on Facebook the other mornin’ calling me a tramp an’ all.
ROXANNA: That yoke is for simpletons.
STEPH: Sayin’ she’s gonna pull the head off me.
ROXANNA: As if.
STEPH: Turns out she’s a baby for Trevor.
ROXANNA: That’s her tough shit.
STEPH: I says it to him an’ all – he’s real honest – and he says that the baby is his, but that she tricked him some way and that he doesn’t really see her any more.
ROXANNA: So what is she bangin’ on about?
STEPH: Some shit about the bond between them. The glue, or somethin’…
ROXANNA: Well…fuck her.
STEPH: You will come out with us won’t ya? The laugh like.
ROXANNA: If I can ever get passed Paula.
STEPH: Do you want some of this?
ROXANNA: What is it?
STEPH: Breezer – from me Ma’s large bottle.
ROXANNA: The last one made me blow chunks.
STEPH: So?
PAULA pulls away from the kiss.
PAULA: Sorry…
DAN: No.
PAULA: Will I get glasses so? (For the champagne)
He nods. PAULA moves to get glasses.
DAN: How is Roxanna?
ROXANNA: We were stood talkin’ about names.
PAULA: Off chasing that scumbag probably.
PAULA’s mood changes.
ROXANNA: He’s all set on a girl. Reckons fellas have no sense. I don’t care what it is…I’m just glad that I’m havin’ it now. Aoife he wants…but I think that sounds real hickey, like Doreen or somethin’. I told him I wanna call her Shannon…or if it’s a boy I wanna call him Dale. Fitzy says – what, as in Dale Farm ice-cream? – thinkin’ he’s funny… so I says – No, like Dale Winton – just to wind him up ’cos he hates gays.
DAN: Paula.
ROXANNA: Anyway, it was great just to see him. I was startin’ to forget what he looks like.
PAULA: What?
STEPH: So he wants the baby now?
ROXANNA: Says it’s the only thing keeping him goin’.
DAN: You don’t know that this kid is no good.
ROXANNA: Says he can’t forgive himself over Tommo but.
PAULA: A bit of experience and you can spot them. The signs.
ROXANNA: There’s a row about to break. Fitzy is all geared up for a scrap.
DAN: Give him a chance maybe. You never know.
STEPH: What over?
ROXANNA: Nothin’. His dead brother. Broken hearts. Over nothin’.<
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PAULA: He had his chance.
DAN: There’s no value in willing him to fail either.
PAULA: Look out there. All you see is stories of big hearts and broken promises. Fellas that promised us the earth but when it came to it, they were gone.
DAN goes to kiss her apologetically.
Don’t.
She leaves the room.
ROXANNA: I says to him – do you love me – an’ all.
DAN picks up the champagne bottle.
…looking for a fight, ’cos me head has been wrecked over him…so I stuck that to him – do you love me – and he says…
DAN pops the champagne and drinks from the bottle.
…he says that I’ll never be able to imagine the places that he’s been in his head. He says but, that even when it got really dark for him, all up in his head…that he could still see me and the baby.
DAN in the kitchen with empty champagne bottle, drunk.
STEPH: I’ve to leg it. Me auld fella will batter me.
STEPH gets up to leave.
ROXANNA: The only thing keepin’ him goin’ he says.
STEPH makes to leave.
STEPH: Were you ballin’?
ROXANNA: (Calling after her.) Cryin’? Get a life. It was like me heart could breathe again but.
ROXANNA and DAN are suddenly in the scene together.
Where’s Paula?
DAN: Telly Room.
ROXANNA leaves the room and comes back seconds later.
ROXANNA: She’s asleep.
DAN: She’ll be back now.
ROXANNA: I said she’s asleep you fuckin’ eejit. You’ve to go home now.
DAN: (Calls.) Paula?!
ROXANNA: Did yiz fuck?
DAN: What?
ROXANNA: (Annunciating the word.) FUCK. Tonight. Did yiz do it?
DAN: Give your mouth a rest.
ROXANNA: I just want to know if you stuck it in me sister, and if you did, which I’d put money on it that you did – ’cos why the fuck else would you be stalking her – so like – I’m just wondering was she any good?
DAN: If you were mine, I’d...
ROXANNA: If I was yours? Your what?
DAN: You want manners put on you.
ROXANNA: A good kickin’?
Pause.
A slap? A good seeing to, is that it?
DAN: It’s a strange creature you are.
ROXANNA moves closer to DAN.
ROXANNA: That’s it, isn’t it? You wanna give me a good seeing to?
Pause.
Fuck me sister and then fuck me. Make a night of it.
DAN: You have your sister and every other clown round here wrapped around your little finger. It’s not right. I’d fuckin’ have you, (meaning, “your life”) that’s for sure.
ROXANNA: Would you now?
ROXANNA moves closer to DAN. Her mouth is dangerously close to his.
Have me then.
DAN: There’s a badness in you.
ROXANNA moves closer to DAN. She lowers her voice as she speaks to him.
ROXANNA: You think I’m sexy, don’t you?
DAN: Enough.
ROXANNA: What it must be like to fuck a sixteen-year-old; that’s the fantasy in’it?
DAN puts his hand on ROXANNA’s waist to hold her or hold her back. He is sitting but she is standing. They are almost at the same level.
DAN: You’re only a young one.
ROXANNA: And you a man. Big man like ya.
DAN: I pity you. Getting yourself into all sorts.
ROXANNA: You’d have me. That’s what you said.
ROXANNA’s lips move towards DAN’s. He doesn’t stop her. A good seeing to.
SCENE TWELVE
PAULA is dressed in funeral attire, she leans out the kitchen window talking to JEAN.
PAULA: You won’t know yourself with stairs an’ all.
JEAN: (Off-stage.) It’s just one more fuckin’ thing to clean what?
PAULA: You said it!
JEAN: Was there many there?
PAULA: Packed to the hilt. Kids mostly. Teenagers.
Pause.
When you off?
JEAN: Two weeks. Can’t bleedin’ wait.
PAULA: You’ll be a new woman on the Southside!
JEAN: I’ll be a lady what lunches! (Change of tone.) Fuck…I’m burnin’ bleedin’ toast up here…
ANTOINETTE, ROXANNA and STEPH enter with bags of chips. They are all dressed in black having been to a funeral.
ANTOINETTE: You’d swear someone took a shit in that lift. Thank fuck I’m out of this kip, that’s all I’ll say…
PAULA: I doubt that somehow. Rox, put plates under those chips.
ROXANNA and STEPH put out plates.
STEPH: There was loads of rides there today, wasn’t there?
ANTOINETTE: Get a grip, it was full of knackers.
PAULA throws ANTOINETTE a look.
What? D’you want me to lie. It was full of scum. That’s the truth of it.
PAULA: You’re hardly from royalty yourself.
STEPH: Did you see Bucko?
ANTOINETTE: With the diamond yoke in his ear?
STEPH: Total ride! And Fitzy’s older brother was smokin’ hot in that suit…and even Fitzy…he’s spoken for of course… but still…
ROXANNA is away in her thoughts. PAULA is buttering bread and handing out tea.
ANTOINETTE: You could dip each and every prick at that funeral in gold and I still wouldn’t touch them.
PAULA: Don’t mind Antoinette. Her taste in men isn’t as impeccable as she makes out.
ANTOINETTE: I know a waster when I see one.
PAULA: Even when you’re servin’ him up his dinner?
ANTOINETTE: You what?
PAULA: (Meaning the girls.) Give them a break is all.
ANTOINETTE: ’Sake.
The four girls get stuck into their chips and tea.
PAULA: (To ROXANNA.) Were you talkin’ to him?
ANTOINETTE: I thought you said to leave her be?
PAULA: Shut up you.
STEPH: Was ye?
ROXANNA: His Ma wouldn’t shake me hand or nothin’.
ANTOINETTE: Over what?
STEPH: Sure he only told them, didn’t he?
ANTOINETTE: There’s only so much bad news a mother can take I suppose.
PAULA: (To ANTOINETTE.) Are you thick?
ANTOINETTE: What? You can’t say fuckin’ boo in this kip.
ROXANNA: Collared him outside and he was just in bits. Says the young fellas who were after Tommo was textin’ him, sayin’ they were thrilled he was dead…it saves them a job an’ all.
PAULA: Scumbags.
ANTOINETTE: Every last one of them.
ROXANNA: His heart is broken but.
STEPH: He was roarin’ cryin’ when I saw him. He was in bits.
PAULA: That’s the way of it.
STEPH: Up in the back fields last night the brothers had a fire lit. Crowds of youn’ fellas out. They’d a car at the bottom of the pitch, the fire climbin’ out the windows…and the kids all out collecting wood for them. Palettes and tyres… like ants they were…and the brothers tanked up. Whiskey and vodka from the bottle; the flames catching their tears, and their faces…roaring from the heat; all orange and red…and them not far from the depths of hell.
PAULA: You’ve a long way to come back from somethin’ like that.
STEPH: And the songs they were singin’. Hardshaws huggin’ each other and cryin’ into the ground. Thugs, screamin’ o’ the injustice. Wolfe Tones, and the Dubliners. Rebel songs an’ all. Songs about freedom, or whatever they could get heads to. Their voices breakin’ with the whiskey and the hurt. Broken hearts trun on the fire…and Tommo, they says, dancin’ in its glow.
The women are all quiet. Long pause.
PAULA: Your child did that and your life’d be over. She’ll never move from that now, that auld one.
ANTOINETTE: Your ‘what’s his name’ was there today.
ANTOINETTE: Your man. Down the back he was; throwin’ his beady eye over the whole affair.
PAULA: Dan?
ANTOINETTE: Couldn’t take his eyes off you.
PAULA: At the church?
ANTOINETTE: (Sarcastic.) No – at the chipper.
PAULA: I haven’t heard a peep from him in days.
ANTOINETTE: He was there alright. Glad Eye O’Hara.
ROXANNA: He was lookin’ at me.
Pause.
PAULA: What?
ROXANNA: Dan. He was lookin’ at me. In the church.
Pause.
PAULA: Why would he be lookin’ at you?
ROXANNA: Why d’ya think?
Long pause. ROXANNA stares at PAULA.
’Cos of Fitzy, I suppose. His brother.
Pause.
ANTOINETTE: It’s a bit much all the same. Like, coffin chasin’ to get your attention. It’s a bit creepy.
ROXANNA: He is a creep.
PAULA: Excuse me?
ANTOINETTE: I think he is a bit, is he?
PAULA: What is it you don’t like about him Antoinette; the fact that he’s got a job? Or his ability to hold a conversation?
ANTOINETTE: Desperation more like.
PAULA: Careful now sweetheart; your track record doesn’t quite give you license to judge.
ROXANNA: She’s only ragin’ ’cos no fella will go near ’er.
PAULA: Oh, they’ll go near her alright. It’s staying near her that’s the problem.
ANTOINETTE: Do you think I come down to this dump to take abuse?
PAULA: It’s only a dump when it suits ya.
ROXANNA: And you know where the door is...you use it often enough.
ANTOINETTE: I could say the same for you young one.
ROXANNA: I’m family.
ANTOINETTE: Yeah…and blood is not the only thing thicker than water.
PAULA: Are you plannin’ on being a gee-bag all day?
ROXANNA: Try all year.
ANTOINETTE: What?
PAULA: I’ve no time for your bitchin’ today.
ANTOINETTE: Who’s bitchin’?
PAULA: Either shut your mouth or go on home.
ANTOINETTE: You kickin’ me out?
ROXANNA: How did you guess?
PAULA: (To ROXANNA.) Shut up you. (To ANTOINETTE.) I’m givin’ you options.
ANTOINETTE: I get fuckin’ more respect from the strangers livin’ next to me than I do off me own mates.
PAULA: Here we go –
ANTOINETTE: You’d wanna stop to catch yourself. Holier than bleedin’ thou. D’you think my life revolves around whatever it is you think I should or shouldn’t be doin’ on any given day? It’d serve you well now to remember the times I’ve held the weight of you in this kitchen, cryin’ over Git and the kids, cryin’ over your auld fella, god rest his soul, or your aul’ one who can’t stomach the sight of ye.