by Holly Martin
I scowled because I nearly did fall for it. Elias had seemed so nice. It was only because of somehow feeling disloyal to Harry that I hadn’t slept with him.
He sat up. ‘I want you to be with someone special, someone who knows how fantastic you are, someone who would go to the ends of the earth for you.’
‘Someone who would love me despite the cow print onesie?’
‘No, someone who would love you because of it.’
I smiled.
‘I don’t think you should sleep with anyone until you find that person, someone who loves you and would worship you in bed. In fact, don’t sleep with anyone until you’re married, that makes more sense.’
I laughed. ‘Harry, I haven’t slept with anyone for two years, not since Alex. I can’t wait another two years or more until I have sex.’
Good lord. Had the sickness addled my brain? I literally had no filter on my mouth at all.
‘Greasy kebab boy was your last lay?’ Harry seemed delighted by this. ‘What about Tiny Tim? You said the sex was amazing, even the sideways sex.’
I was never going to get away from Tiny Tim, and the lies surrounding him were going to keep coming back and tripping me up.
‘Ok, ok, I lied about me and Tim having sex. We went out on a few dates. He wanted to, he kept pushing me for sex but I just wasn’t ready.’
I looked away and stared at my reflection in the mirror incredulously. Now I sounded frigid. Or that I had some serious issues. This is why lying was bad, I was rubbish at it.
‘Did something happen with Alex?’ Harry’s hand was on my arm. ‘Did he hurt you? Is that why you haven’t been with anyone else since?’
I groaned inwardly. I was actually making it worse.
‘No, Alex was lovely. Very dull, but lovely. I don’t think he would know how to hurt me. No, I’m just rubbish with men, Harry – if they show the slightest flicker of interest I run away embarrassed.’
‘But you went out with Tiny Tim, why didn’t you…?’ I could feel him trying to understand.
How could I explain that there had been no one for me for two years because I had fallen head over heels for him, because no one else ever came close? And how could I explain why I hadn’t had sex with my imaginary boyfriend?
‘It was just, he was very full on. Kept on telling me how he’d like to tie me up and well… Fifty Shades my arse.’
‘Your arse?’
‘Not specifically my arse.’
‘But you loved Fifty Shades, you read the trilogy twice.’
‘Yes. I did.’ I had to remember that Harry had loved that kinky stuff with Sexy Samantha and although I’d never thought about being tied up during sex before, having Harry tie me up and do wicked things to me would be very pleasurable indeed. ‘That kind of sex takes time and trust. I don’t want to have sex with someone for the first time and they whip out a gimp mask and genital clamps.’
Harry visibly paled and quickly crossed his legs, protecting his manhood. ‘Genital clamps?’
I nodded.
‘What were you doing with this guy, he sounds like a right freak.’
‘He seemed nice at first.’
‘All the freaks do.’ He shuddered. ‘That’s decided then. Definitely no sex with anyone until your wedding night. I’m not having you go out with any more freaks.’
‘Harry…’
‘Listen. The right guy for you is just around the corner. I promise.’ He took my hand and trailed his fingers lightly across my palm. Goose bumps exploded treacherously over my body, though he didn’t seem to notice. ‘I can see your future. This line here is your love line. Before the year is out, you will be married to the most marvellous man. He will treat you like a queen and carry you everywhere.’
I shifted closer so I could humour him and look at my palm too. Nothing to do with being closer to him. He smelt amazing, his sweet, spicy, earthy scent.
‘What’s he like?’
‘Tall, dark and handsome.’ He looked closer. ‘And magnificent in bed. No kinky stuff at all.’
‘I don’t mind a bit of kink. With the right man.’
His eyes flicked up to mine again. ‘Just wait, Suzie, you’ll find him soon enough, I’m sure of it.’
I sighed and nodded, just hoping this mystery man would arrive sooner rather than later.
Harry dropped my hand and I sensed the subject was over. ‘Fancy going down the beach for a bit? Fresh air might do you some good.’
I nodded and he was off the bed and away from me a second later.
I just had to fall out of love with him first.
Chapter Ten
I lay on the bed staring at the sky as it turned from blue to candyfloss pink. Cancun was a typical beach paradise with the white sands and turquoise waters – but the cherry on the cake was the four poster beds, with duvets, soft pillows and white chiffon curtains billowing gently in the breeze. We had spent the entire afternoon lying here in sumptuous comfort as lovely bar men brought us drinks and snacks at our every whim. The beach was quiet at this time of year, and with the curtains surrounding us, it helped to close us off from the outside world – making it feel like we were the only ones here.
I had dozed on and off all afternoon, in the heat of the day, recovering from my bout of sickness earlier. Every time I woke, Harry was lying by my side, either reading or answering emails or staring out at the sea or even one time staring at me.
I rolled over now, hugging a pillow as I watched the waves. Harry was out in the sea and I found myself biting the pillow as I watched him swim. Large muscled arms sliced through the waves, droplets of water dripping off his powerful back. He really was a walking cliché – big, beautiful, and rich.
He stood up and started walking towards me, his huge thighs sloshing through the waves. I bit harder on the pillow and I felt sure it would pop in a minute and I’d be left explaining why I was surrounded by a cloud of feathers.
As the last of the sun glistened on his wet body and I imagined drying him off with a towel, or even better my tongue, he stumbled head first into the water. I sat up to see if he was ok, but the laugh was already bubbling up in my throat. He stood back up, clearly embarrassed and to my delight he had seaweed stuck to his head. I snorted and laughed so hard, he clearly heard me from twenty feet away. He stopped and looked in my direction, a scowl marring his beautiful features, though this did nothing to stop my laughter.
He walked into the shallows and it was then I noticed a girl waiting for him – she was about my age, stick thin, long brown hair cascading down her back in beautiful curls. The white bikini she was wearing left very little to the imagination.
‘Are you ok? That was quite the tumble you took there?’ she asked.
Harry approached her, clearly unknowing that the seaweed was still stuck to his head. I couldn’t help but laugh even more as he flashed her his most charming smile.
‘Yes, I’m fine, thank you for asking.’
I noticed that he had seaweed sticking out from the bottom of his shorts too, like he had very dodgy, long green pubic hair. My laughter doubled in volume.
Harry flashed me another look and the girl scowled in my direction too. ‘Some people are so rude, laughing at other people’s misfortunes, you could have been hurt.’ Her hand was on his arm.
‘Yes exactly, so rude,’ agreed Harry. ‘Excuse me.’
He left the girl and came back to the bed. I caught the look in his eyes and I quickly scooted away from him, but he grabbed my ankles and dragged me back across the bed towards him.
‘No, Harry, please, I wasn’t laughing at you, I’m sorry,’ I squealed through my laughter.
He plucked the seaweed off his head, and as he pinned me down he dragged it across my belly – leaving trails of cold water across my skin. I shouted and squealed, trying to get away from him. He picked the other strand from his thigh, then leaned over me and draped it over my face.
‘Harry, no, that’s disgusting,’ I squealed, trying to wriggle away f
rom him.
Through the curtains I saw the girl watching us wistfully as she turned and walked away. I couldn’t help the uncharitable thought from forming in my head, though I had the good grace not to say it.
Jog on, he’s mine.
*
‘Fancy going to watch the wedding?’ Harry asked, his words vibrating through my head as I was propped up against his stomach reading my book. The sun had almost gone in now and in the fading light I was finding it hard to make out the words.
I rolled over to face him and he pointed down the beach. Not far away, people were gathering on golden chairs and candles and flowers lined the aisle up to a flowered archway.
‘We can’t just gate-crash a wedding.’
‘I’m not suggesting we pitch up and sit on one of the chairs, I’m saying we could just, you know, walk past very slowly.’
I looked again and watched as the bride came down through the gardens of our hotel, surrounded by her bridesmaids dressed in the same azure colour as the sea. I nodded keenly. We quickly grabbed our things and then sauntered nonchalantly up the beach.
The bride looked beautiful in a silvery dress that glittered in the candlelight as she approached the back of the aisle. Soft harp music was being played and the guests stood to welcome her down the aisle towards her groom.
The way he looked at her sent shivers down my spine, this was a man in love. He reached out to take her hand and pulled her against his side just like Harry had done to me a hundred times.
We watched the ceremony in silence and I couldn’t take my eyes off them.
As the registrar announced them man and wife and they kissed, Harry put his arm around me and I leaned into him.
‘Do you see yourself getting married?’ I asked.
‘Maybe.’
I looked up at him, in surprise. ‘But you don’t believe in love.’
‘I’m coming round to it. Being with you makes me think it’s possible.’
‘Being with me?’ I squeaked.
‘I mean all the proposals, the couples we’ve helped. You were right. Seeing all these newly engaged couples, seeing how happy they are – love can be a good thing, with the right person. And don’t forget I fell in love didn’t I? Despite my best efforts not to, it happened anyway.’
‘You don’t seem the ‘settling down with one woman’ sort.’
‘I know I have a bit of a reputation when it comes to women. But when I find that woman, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, I’m going to grab onto her and not let her go.’
My heart soared with happiness for Harry, even if we never got together, he was slowly breaking his barriers down – and opening up his heart to the possibility of love was a great turning point for him. And I had helped with that.
‘Won’t you get bored, sex with the same woman for the rest of your life?’
He smiled. ‘No, not one bit. I cannot imagine anything better actually – making love to the woman I love, every day, every night.’
‘But these women you’re with, you never really give them a chance, one of these could be your one.’
‘Trust me, they’re not.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Because not one of them has made me feel like… like I did when I was in love. I’m looking for that.’
‘This woman, that you were in love with, was it Chloe, the one we’re meeting in New York?’
‘No.’
I had more questions but I was suddenly distracted by the newly wedded husband scooping his bride up into his arms and running out into the sea.
‘No! The dress,’ I squealed so loud that some of the congregation looked round at me. But the bride didn’t seem bothered. As they both sank into the waves, she wrapped her arms round her husband’s neck and kissed him like her life depended on it.
Proposer’s Blog
Day 13: The Sunrise Proposal. Location. The Mayan Temples at Tulum.
As you know from yesterday’s blog, Suzie wasn’t very well yesterday and although she seemed a lot better last night, I was still a bit reluctant to drag her out of bed so early this morning, but I’m so glad I did.
Suzie wasn’t exactly impressed when I left her in the pitch black, alone on the beach, to set up the proposal – though I was rewarded on my return by her throwing herself into my arms and clinging to me like ivy. My dear would-be proposers, if you want a definitive reaction, I suggest you scare the crap out of your girlfriends first. I could barely prise myself out of her arms as she mumbled into my chest something about noises and heavy breathing.
The temples at Tulum stand on the cliffs, facing out towards the sea. The walled city was originally called, Zama, City of the Dawn because it faces the sunrise. So I thought, what better place to watch the sunrise than from the top of the El Castillo, the tallest building in this ancient Mayan city.
Of course you can’t just walk into historical ruins that are thousands of years old. So my plan was clearly not going to happen. Note to self, must do more research.
There are steps from the beach leading up to the Castillo but there was a wall preventing us from going any further. It didn’t look like my proposal was going to happen at all and the clock was against us.
To my shame, and completely through my encouragement alone, we hopped over a small rope fence and scrambled precariously along the cliff edge. With our backs to the Castillo, this ancient ruin, we watched the sun rise over the Caribbean Sea, as the Mayans would have done hundreds of years before. Within minutes, the sea ranged through black, inky blue, turquoise, pink and scarlet, the sun sending garlands of colour across the waves. It was incredible and right there, we were the only people in the world to watch it from that position, touching the past as the future rushed towards us in all its golden splendour.
I pulled Suzie to her feet and pointed down onto the empty beach – there in six foot high letters, written in the sand, was my proposal. ‘Marry Me’ with a big heart underneath. In the heart was a picnic blanket and breakfast laid out ready for us to eat.
I told Suzie that there were chocolate covered strawberries and… That’s as far as I got before I turned round and saw her scrambling across the cliff, running down the stairs and across the beach towards the picnic blanket.
Quite a success I feel.
After my wonderful proposal we had gone back and checked out of our luxury hotel, travelled down the coast and checked into a cabana – a beautiful beach side thatched cabin. We could literally step out the cabin, down the steps and we were on the beach, the warm shallows of the Caribbean merely ten metres away. We were told that in the morning, when the tide was in, the water would come right up to the bottom of the steps.
The cabana was basic; a bed, a bathroom, that was it. It didn’t even have any electricity. I loved its rustic charm. There was a sheltered veranda area with a table and chairs, two hammocks and at the bottom of the stairs we had our own barbeque, which Harry swore he was going to cook freshly caught fish on later. I wasn’t sure if Harry intended to catch the fish himself, though it wouldn’t surprise me. Everything the man turned his hand to he was good at.
I scowled at him lying happily in his hammock. Even now, where other mere mortals had failed, it had taken him mere seconds to climb easily into his hammock.
I stared back at my nemesis darkly. I would not be beaten. If Harry could do it, I could do it too.
I approached the hammock like you would approach a wild animal. It swung gently in the breeze, taunting me. I heard Harry turn a laugh into a cough as he tapped away on the laptop, answering emails as he swayed in his hammock.
I turned around, and sat carefully into the middle of the hammock but as I lifted one foot off the ground, the hammock tilted and deposited me on the floor. Harry shuddered with suppressed laughter.
I stood up. No piece of string was going to get the better of me.
I straddled the hammock, one leg either side of it, and lowered my bottom into the material. So far so good. I lifted m
y legs slowly into the hammock and it rocked precariously. I froze, waiting for it to be still, and when it was I lowered myself down into the hammock, my back, my shoulders, my neck… But suddenly, without provocation, it flipped over, causing me to land face down on the decking again.
Harry’s laughter went up an octave.
‘What do you suggest then, smart alec?’
‘Show it who’s boss. You’re being too namby pamby with it. Just get in, like you’re getting into bed.’
I stood up again. I put my hands out, holding the hammock flat, rolled in and rolled straight out the other side.
I lay on the decking, staring up at the thatched fronds rustling gently in the breeze.
‘Right, enough. You’re going to be black and blue by the time you’ve finished. Share the hammock with me. I’m already in the right position, you just have to join me.’
‘And tip us both out, that’s ok, I’ll just sit in one of these chairs.’
‘No seriously. I’m a big guy, my weight will help to balance us out. Come on.’ He patted the hammock temptingly.
‘If we tip out, don’t blame me.’
‘I promise.’
I shuffled closer and Harry hooked an arm round one of the front pillars of the veranda. I slowly sat down in the hammock and to my surprise it barely moved at all. I carefully relaxed into it and as Harry let go of the pillar, the hammock swung out gently and then was still.
‘See. It’s fine.’
I ignored his smugness and indicated his laptop. ‘Anything important?’
We had both been studiously replying to emails since we left, but since I’d got sick the day before, Harry had insisted I take a few days off from it.
‘Nothing I can’t handle.’
He was reading an email now and as I leaned back on my arms, I heard him laugh.
‘What?’ It was probably from Badger.
‘Oh, nothing, an email from Chloe. She’s looking forward to seeing us.’