One Hundred Proposals

by Holly Martin

  Harry seemed to realise I was struggling and within a few minutes he was back by my side.

  ‘You ok?’ He glided effortlessly through the water towards me.

  ‘It’s a lot harder than it looks.’

  ‘Nah, it’s easy. Come on, we’re nearly there.’

  We were not nearly there, but the thought of sitting by the fire in that little log cabin kept me going.

  Harry turned and headed towards the far shore again, and soon there was a huge gap between us. As hard and as fast as I was trying, I didn’t seem to be moving at all.

  Harry came back for me again. ‘Let me tow you.’ He offered a rope.

  ‘No, I’m fine, you go on ahead. I’ll be there soon.’

  He sighed. ‘Just come a little closer.’ He was clearly still angry, either at me or our followers but I knew when not to argue with him and this was one of those times.

  I reluctantly admitted defeat and tried to steer myself towards him, but I missed his hands by a good metre. He leaned out to try to grab the end of the canoe, his canoe toppled with his weight and dumped him into the lake.

  ‘No, Harry, oh my God, are you ok?’

  ‘Shit!’ he muttered. ‘Crap, that’s freezing.’

  His canoe had turned upside down and I paddled towards it to try to help turn it over.

  ‘Don’t,’ Harry said through gritted teeth. ‘You’ll only bloody well fall in as well.’

  I watched helplessly as he flipped the boat back over and hauled himself out of the icy water. ‘Crap, that’s so frigging cold.’

  ‘Let’s go back, we could be back in our hotel sooner than we can get to the cabin, and the hotel has hot showers.’

  ‘No, it’s fine.’

  It clearly was not fine, he was shaking so much.

  With fumbling fingers he tied the rope to the front of my boat. ‘Harry, please leave it, just get yourself to the cabin, I’ll catch you up.’

  He ignored me and soon he was powering through the water, dragging my canoe in his wake.

  As we approached the shore I could see a fire blazing away, a picnic blanket, hamper and champagne bucket had been left for us. Harry was nothing if not prepared.

  He quickly moored his canoe on the small sandy beach and pulled mine in alongside his. He got out and helped me out too. He was freezing – bunched up and trying to protect himself from the cold as he staggered a few feet to the fire and dropped to his knees by the flames.

  ‘Let’s leave the picnic,’ I said. ‘Let’s just go straight to the cabin and get changed. We can come back and do this later.’ All our stuff was either already at the cabin or on its way. But even if it wasn’t there, we would be inside, out of the cold, and we could light a fire.

  ‘It’s half an hour from here, I need to warm up first before I make that walk, I’ll be hypothermic otherwise.’

  Hypothermia. Oh God, no. Should I call an ambulance, should I run back along the track to the hotel to get help?

  He must have seen me panicking because he forced a smile onto his face.

  ‘It’s fine, don’t worry. I’ll be fine in a minute.’

  To my surprise, he started to strip. His coat, trousers, boots, hoodie, T-shirt, all came off in quick succession and even through my panic I couldn’t help but stand and stare at his glorious body. He wrapped a blanket round himself so he was covered toe to neck and lay down by the fire.

  ‘What can I do to help?’ I said, hopping from foot to foot nervously.

  ‘You can get your clothes off and come and join me.’

  Of course. Survival 101. Body heat was one of the best ways to help someone with hypothermia. I didn’t hesitate. I stripped as quickly as I could, only leaving my underwear on. The cold mountain air was like knives to my bare skin, but I quickly climbed under the blankets with Harry and lay on top of him, trying to cover his enormous frame with my body.

  I tucked the blankets in around his shoulders, took my hat off and pulled it over his head, knowing that a lot of the body heat escaped through the head, then lay still, hoping somehow that I was making a difference to him.

  He was cold, but not icy cold – maybe we had caught it early enough, maybe me being with him helped.

  ‘Suzie.’

  I looked up at him.

  ‘I was actually joking when I said get your clothes off. I kind of expected you to tell me where to shove it.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I never thought for one second you would actually do it.’ His eyes shone with mischief.

  ‘But… you were hypothermic, I was trying to give you body heat.’ I could feel my cheeks burning red.

  ‘I’m cold, honey, but I doubt very much whether I’m hypothermic – I don’t think I was in the water for that long. I am very touched though that you would strip off for me so readily.’

  I stared at him. ‘You arse.’

  He laughed so loudly, so deeply, I could feel the vibrations of it against my body.

  I moved to get off him but he held me close. ‘Not a chance, Miss McKenzie. There’s always a possibility that I might be hypothermic after all.’

  He laughed again and I joined him. Just like that, the awkwardness of the last few days just vanished.

  Proposer’s Blog

  Day 33: The Near Death Experience Proposal. Location: Lake Louise.

  The wooing is a big part of any proposal, you can’t just pop the question whenever you feel like it. So I arranged a picturesque, tranquil trip across the water of Lake Louise, a romantic picnic by a roaring fire on the shores and then a walk through the snowy forests, past the proposal in front of the log cabin where we were to spend the night.

  What I hadn’t accounted for was me falling in the lake and nearly dying of hypothermia. But Suzie came to my rescue, stripping off and lying with me under the blankets to give me some much needed body heat.

  When I felt warmer, we decided to abandon the picnic and make a run for the log cabin, wrapped only in our respective blankets. It was the fastest sprint we have ever done in our lives. I led the way, as I knew where the cabin was, but I could hear Suzie giggling uncontrollably as we ran through the trees.

  We barely looked at the proposal of a snowman on his knees proposing to a snow woman just outside the cabin, we just flung ourselves through the door and out of the cold. There was a roaring fire burning in the main room and we dragged the couch in front of it and curled up on the sofa together, under the blankets.

  Her heart was beating so fast, I could feel it hammering against her chest as I held her in my arms.

  That’s when I asked her to marry me.

  She told me that, despite everything going wrong, this was the best proposal so far. I asked her if that meant yes. I felt her smile against my neck, one of the best feelings in the world. She said ‘I’m lying with you naked, in front of a roaring fire, I’ll let you make up your own mind on that one.’

  I decided it was a yes.

  *

  I was shaken awake and I blinked in the darkness. The fire had long since gone out and as I stretched on the couch, I realised Harry was no longer with me.

  ‘Suzie, you need to get up, now.’

  I could see Harry’s huge shadow looming over me.

  I stuck one arm out from the blanket, but the cold of the room sliced though me and I tucked it back into the warmth of the blanket again.

  ‘It’s cold,’ I mumbled sleepily.

  ‘I know, the fire went out, get up.’

  I held up the blanket for him. ‘Come back to bed, we can keep each other warm.’

  I blinked. Had I really just said that? There was a silence from Harry, so I guessed I had.

  When he spoke there was a gruffness to his voice. ‘I want that, believe me I do, but you need to get up and get dressed. Now.’

  I looked at him and realised he was getting dressed quickly. There was a sudden sense of urgency from him and I quickly threw back the blanket and stood up. ‘What’s wrong?’

  He held out some clo
thes for me and I quickly pulled them on.

  ‘I’ll be outside.’

  He marched out. I pulled on my boots and ran after him. He was standing on the decking looking out over the mountains. Lake Louise was below us, glinting in the moonlight. I hadn’t appreciated the magnificent view when we had run naked through the trees earlier.

  He turned, smiling when he saw me and pulled me into his side.

  ‘Look,’ he whispered, pointing at the gap between the mountains.

  ‘What?’ I blinked at the clear sky, at the stars peppering the mountain landscape and the moonlight that seemed to be almost as bright as the sun. But I could see nothing. The sky wasn’t black here, it had that greyish inky tinge of very early morning.

  We had barely moved from the couch all day, apart from to throw some more logs on the fire. Although it was clear to both of us that Harry had quickly thawed out, neither of us had been willing to leave the confines of the couch and our half naked embrace. Of course nothing happened, but the intimacy of him holding me, of playing with my hair as he watched the flames, was hard to ignore.

  We had eaten on the couch, and I’d even sent a few emails and he’d blogged about our proposal and still he had lay with me, half naked, under the blankets.

  In all other circumstances, it would have been incredibly romantic.

  It had grown dark and we had fallen asleep together.

  But now it was early hours in the morning and I was standing outside in the freezing cold staring at the mountains. It was beautiful, with the moon over the water, but I couldn’t help but wish I was back wrapped in his arms in front of the fire.

  Then I saw it, and my heart leapt in my chest.

  Far off, at the furthest point of the horizon, was an eerie green glow that shimmered and danced in the sky.

  I gasped. ‘Is that…?’

  I looked up at Harry who was grinning hugely. ‘The Northern Lights.’

  ‘No! We’re not supposed to see it down here, we’re too far south.’

  ‘They get occasional displays, the odd glimpse at this time of year, but supposedly nothing spectacular.’

  I looked back at the green trails that moved like smoke in the distance. ‘That looks pretty spectacular to me.’

  He wrapped his arm round me and pulled me in tighter and I felt him nodding in agreement.

  After a few minutes, Harry disappeared back inside and brought out the blankets. He cleared the bench of the snow and we sat down to watch the show, cuddled up against each other.

  Although it was far away, it was still an incredible sight to see the light trails playing in the night sky. It almost looked like the shadows of people dancing as the lights rippled against the clouds.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said into his shoulder.

  He looked down at me. ‘For what? I didn’t arrange the Northern Lights kid, I’m good but I’m not that good.’

  I smiled. ‘For everything, for being there for me, for my proposals, for all of this.’ I gestured wildly with my arms, making the blanket slide off my shoulders. He pulled it back up, tucking me back in. ‘I’m sorry things have been weird between us, I’m not sure why we’ve fought so much over the last few weeks, when we never have before. I guess I’m scared I’m going to lose you.’

  He smiled down at me. ‘That will never happen Suzie, no matter what happens, no matter where we are in the world, you will always be my best friend.’ He paused and frowned slightly. ‘Right?’

  I nodded vehemently.

  He kissed me on the forehead, then looked away over the mountains.

  ‘I should have told you before. I’m damaged goods and I guess I didn’t want you to know how completely messed up I am.’

  I was very still, sensing that everything that I wanted to know and everything I didn’t was about to come pouring out. And I was right.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ‘I was a horrible baby, just didn’t stop crying from the moment I was born till I was about three years old.’ I wrapped my arms tighter around him. ‘Mum and Dad had never had a happy relationship. Abigail, my sister, was six when I was born and she said even before I came along they were always arguing and shouting at each other. I was an accident, that much was clear, they argued a lot about how they didn’t want me even before I came into the world and so Abigail hated me as well. I don’t suppose the constant crying endeared me to her either. My parents put me in her room as they couldn’t put up with the crying. Looking back now on what Abigail told me, they were just rubbish parents.’

  He looked down at me, probably to gauge my reaction. Whatever he saw in my expression made him continue.

  ‘The crying stopped, I guess, well according to Abigail it did, but I had terrible night terrors. Still do sometimes. I’d wake up in the night screaming. Every night, sometimes two or three times a night. Though I have no memory of my parents ever coming in to see if I was ok. I do remember my dad shouting at me to shut up. That is pretty much the only memory I have of him. I was nearly four when he left. Just walked out and I never saw him again. I have almost no memory of him and no idea even if he’s still alive. My mum drank herself into a stupor almost every day for the next four years. My sister raised me, made sure we both had food – we lived off sandwiches and cereal mostly. She took us both to school. I’m surprised no one noticed anything. My mum would occasionally come out of her catatonic state to wash our clothes and go shopping, to claim her benefits, to occasionally show her face at school, maybe it was enough so that the authorities didn’t notice our neglect.

  One day, when I was eight, she took us out. Loaded us and two big suitcases into the car and drove us for hours. I was really excited, we had never been out before and suitcases clearly meant we were going on holiday. We pulled into this park and there were loads of kids playing with their families. And I think then was the first time I truly realised how our little family was so different to everyone else’s. The love that was clearly shown in every single one of the different families that day was glaringly missing from ours. I mean, I loved my mum, I knew she was a bit rubbish but I loved her unconditionally. I think for the first time I saw that she probably didn’t return those feelings. She told us to get out, which we did, and she drove off. I’ve never seen her again either.’

  ‘Oh Harry.’

  He looked down at me. ‘Don’t pity me Suzie, that’s the last thing I want.’

  ‘Of course I’m going to feel sorry for you, you were a child and what you are telling me is awful.’

  ‘I’m not telling you because I want your sympathy, that’s exactly why I never told you before. I just want you to understand me, all of me. Why I am like I am.’

  ‘One of the most beautiful people I know.’

  ‘Urgh. I may look ok on the outside, I mean I must do because I get quite a lot of female attention. And it’s nice, that girls want to be with me. I spent my whole life not being wanted and suddenly I hit my twenties and the girls were all over me. It’s hard to turn them down when I’ve never had that before. But they don’t really know me and to be honest I don’t want them to.’

  ‘I meant that you’re beautiful on the inside.’

  He let out a hollow laugh. ‘I’m bitter, angry, emotionally crippled. I fell in love with the most incredible woman and I could never tell her for fear of rejection. What kind of woman would want a man like that?’

  He had no idea.

  I put my hand over his heart. ‘This is beautiful. You’re kind, generous, smart, funny.’ I smiled. ‘Really funny. Protective, supportive. Any woman would be lucky to have you. We all have issues and baggage. Don’t doubt that what you have is a pretty incredible package.’

  He stared down at my hand then wrapped his hand around it but kept it over his heart.

  ‘I can’t lose you,’ he said, so quietly that I barely heard him.

  ‘There is nothing that you can say that will push me away from you. You’re my best friend.’

  ‘The job, in New York…’

&n
bsp; ‘Oh Harry.’ Suddenly all his anger and upset over the job made sense. ‘I thought we could move to New York together.’

  ‘But… you never said.’

  ‘You never gave me a chance.’

  He leaned his head back and laughed with relief.

  I shifted closer to him, not wanting to push him but not wanting the dam to close just yet. ‘Did they find your mum?’

  He shook his head. ‘She flew to France hours before we were taken to the police by some family who realised we were alone in the park as it was getting dark. She must have got on a plane as soon as she dumped us. They tracked her to South America after that but there’s been no sight of her since. We lived with my gran after that – who spent every day telling us how much she hated us and how we had ruined her life. Thankfully she died two years later. After that, we were in and out of foster care for the next few years – but Abigail was a nightmare, causing trouble at school, trashing the house, she was rude, aggressive. My night terrors continued. There wasn’t a single family that wanted to put up with that – her moods, and me screaming at early hours in the morning. No sooner had we been placed in one home they were sending us back a few days later. I learned very quickly that I couldn’t trust any of them.’

  My heart was breaking just listening to this.

  ‘There was one family that stuck with us, when I was about fourteen. They weren’t particularly nice but they weren’t horrible to me either. Though I found out later it was only the extra cash incentive the state threw at the family that kept me living with them for so long. It was there that I met Chloe, another waif that the family had taken in.’

  ‘But… you said you dated, that she was an ex.’

  ‘She was, we did for like two weeks when I was fifteen. Before she dumped me for Isabel Carmichael.’