by Abigail Agar
The sullen behaviour of Marian was disheartening and Victoria didn’t know entirely what else she was meant to do to solve the problems that she was faced with. But she made every effort, trying to keep up her spirits and gain her interest.
Now and then, Marian would act out, throwing a book or simply being incapable of keeping still. But Victoria saw through the actions, knowing that Marian was simply trying to push her boundaries and be as disruptive as she was capable of being.
More than that, she knew that Marian was seeking the discipline of a mother. And while she would never respect a governess as a mother, Victoria would do her best to give her what she needed.
“It would seem that this is not working,” Victoria said at one point, rather darkly to the child. She shut her book with a casual motion that created a loud thud, and it snapped Marian to attention instantly.
“I suppose I shall just be through with it,” Victoria continued. “After all, you’ve clearly no desire to learn or to become even better, more skilled, more intelligent. You wish to remain exactly as you are. It is a wonder that you have a governess at all if you have so little care to be anything more than a child.”
Victoria saw in Marian’s eyes a subtle fear, a realisation that she had pushed too far. Although there was no reason for the child to think that she was in trouble and that Victoria was simply using the situation to try a new tactic with her, it seemed to be working.
“I-I do desire to learn,” Marian said, as if against her will.
Victoria paused and allowed the child to sit in her concern that she might not accept her as a pupil, but finally, Victoria continued in her work.
She used humour as best she could to keep the lesson engaging, but to little avail. Holding lightness, being honest; all of her attempts seemed to fall on deaf little ears. But Marian at least tried to prevent herself from displaying the boredom she continually felt.
And she often failed to refrain from exhibiting it.
Nevertheless, Victoria knew she could not give up. She proceeded as if everything was still going well and attempted to continue in the lessons without giving up. She was quite determined that she would not allow this child to defeat her. She would be stronger and better than this.
“Do you wish to continue or are we going to just sit and talk?” she finally asked, noticing that Marian had not heard a word that she had said for the previous hour.
The day had already been quite long and unproductive. Victoria knew that there was little hope of continuing in her efforts to make the lesson more exciting and she thought that she might as well give Marian a break. Things were not moving forward no matter how hard she had tried, and it was time to at least change her ideas.
Marian’s eyes were glazed over in boredom and she knew that the learning was finished for the day—if it had ever even begun at all.
“I think it is best if the two of us just chat. What say you? Can we enjoy one another’s company without all of this pressure of learning and studying?” she asked.
Marian looked at her with suspicion, as if not believing that such an offer would truly come from the mouth of a governess.
“I suppose…” she replied hesitantly.
“Very well then. We shall abandon the studies as this is our first day together. I should like to know more about you. What can you tell me? Miss Marian Fairfax, what do you enjoy? What do you dislike? What are your favourite foods and colours and songs?” she asked, hoping that giving the child a chance to talk about herself might cause her to open up a little bit.
“You wish to know all of these things?” Marian asked in surprise.
“Of course I do. You are my charge and I should like to know you better. Why does that shock you?” she asked.
“Because no-one wishes to know me better. The governesses always wish to know what they can make of me or how they might be able to be rid of me. And Papa’s betrothed, well, she is simply the worst of them. She never asks me a thing, always prattling on about herself…” Marian remarked bitterly.
Victoria was surprised at this. She had not been aware that the Earl of Hanover was engaged to be married. More than that, she was surprised to hear that Marian disliked her so much as to complain about her to the new governess whom she also clearly seemed to dislike.
“Your father’s betrothed?” she repeated.
“Yes. A Miss Ignoble or some such name as that,” Marian said with a scrunching of her nose. Her distaste for the woman was painfully evident.
“Now, now. We do not call people such things, Miss Marian. I am certain you know the woman’s true name, so calling her Miss Ignoble is rather crude,” Victoria noted, despite the fact that she was secretly delighted to hear that she was not the only one whom Marian found so unfavourable.
“Fine. She is a Lady Ingles. But I prefer to call her Miss Ignoble when Papa is not around,” Marian noted.
“And have you ever called her this to her face?” Victoria asked.
Marian blushed, sheepishly. “Once, only once. She did not appreciate it and threatened to tell Papa if I ever called her that again. She said that she would see to it that I was put out of the home as it is to be her home now,” Marian noted.
Victoria was sad to hear this. She knew that the Earl was hardly the sort to send his own daughter from the home for the sake of some betrothed, but to hear Marian speak of it as fact was painful. She never wished to hear a child believe such a thing.
“Your Papa would never turn you out of the home,” Victoria told her.
“That is what I thought, but Lady Ingles said that I was a fool for believing that and she said that all fathers can be molded when they have fallen in love,” she said innocently in reply.
Victoria thought of her own father. It was not for love that he had abandoned his family, save perhaps for the love of himself. He had turned their family into a laughing stock because of his mistresses and gambling. He was hardly the sort of father she might use as an example of love for a wife and child.
And it confused Victoria further to hear these things when she knew well that the Earl of Hanover was still in mourning for his late wife. Or so it had seemed.
While she spoke with Marian, she tried to hide her surprise at the news of the Earl being engaged, but it did not change the shock that she felt in her heart. Why had she not known this? And how could he be engaged to someone whom his daughter found so disagreeable?
Was he not aware that Marian detested the woman? Or did he simply not care? Perhaps he was more like her father than she realised, and this woman had been a mistress of his all that time ago.
At that thought, Victoria knew that she was being ridiculous. This woman could not be a mistress. He was not that sort of man and his wife had passed away five years before. If he was still mourning her then clearly he was not the sort to have a mistress. On the other hand, if he had once had a mistress, he would not have waited five years to marry her.
No, there had to be another explanation and whatever it was, Victoria felt confident that it was none of her business, no matter how she might wish to learn the truth about it all.
“I am sorry you do not approve of your father’s intended,” Victoria remarked to Marian.
“Oh, it doesn’t matter too much. You see, Papa tells me that she will change over time and we shall be the best of friends. I hardly believe it, but perhaps one day I can make her understand that I am the woman of this house,” Marian said nonchalantly.
Victoria smirked at the child’s resilience. She clearly believed that there was no possibility that Lady Ingles could take her place as the primary female in the home. Yes, she was a strong, stubborn child. For some reason beyond her comprehension, Victoria felt herself hoping that it would come to pass and Marian would indeed prove her strength against this Lady Ingles.
Her desire to see Lady Ingles put out was disturbing to her. Victoria wondered where her petty jealousy was coming from. Was she feeling this way out of a desire to see another woman put do
wn? Had her fall from society been so harsh as to harden her heart towards others?
Or was it the small, niggling sensation deep within her that hinted that she could not bear the thought of the Earl being wed to another woman? Oh, that was a selfish thought indeed. After all, it was not as though she were in a position to ever be able to marry a man like him.
Not anymore, at least.
Would she truly begrudge another woman the opportunity to marry a nobleman simply because she could not? That was not at all the sort of woman she wished to be and Victoria pushed the thought away, determined that she would be better than that.
“Well, I am very glad to be learning more about you, Miss Marian, but you have yet to tell me the answers to my questions,” she said, trying to shift her focus back to the task at hand.
“Oh yes, well I love potatoes and the colour pink,” Marian answered. “What else did you ask me?”
Victoria tried to go through as many questions as she could think of and made a very solid effort to retain the answers in her memory. She felt quite certain that the more she knew about Marian, the better their relationship might be, and eventually things would improve between them.
Until that happened, she would continue trying to get to know her and ask her questions as Marian grew to understand Victoria’s care for her.
“And what about you?” Marian asked suddenly.
“What about me?” Victoria asked in return.
“Will you ever marry? Do you have a fiancé somewhere in London?” she inquired.
“No, I fear I do not,” Victoria answered with a false smile.
“And why ever not?” Marian asked.
Victoria paused, unsure how she might be able to answer the question. In the end, she chose to ignore it and move on to discussing books with Marian. And while it was hardly a solution to everything, it gave her peace in that moment.
Chapter 7
Victoria sighed as she sat with the plate at her desk. Having her dinner alone in her room was the best thing for her at that time.
It had been quite a long day, but she was glad that it was over with. It had not been bad, not by any means, but the length and unfruitfulness of her lessons had gotten the best of her.
Miss Franklin had said that it would be no problem at all for her to enjoy her dinner in her room. She was entirely relieved by that, as it meant that she could write to her mother.
Dearest Mother,
It brings me great joy to be able to write to you. I can hardly tell you about the things that have occurred in these past two days. It shocks me how much has changed in such a short time.
First, I shall tell you about the estate. Do you recall the wings of our old home? If you do, that shall give you some sort of an idea. And yet, as beautiful as this home is, it is nothing compared to that in which we once lived.
The grounds are lovely, however. They are the sorts that I am sure you and father would have longed for in days past. Forgive me for mentioning him.
My charge is an ornery child. She is rather disruptive, and yet I cannot help but find myself viewing her with affection. It is very sad how she lost her mother, and I imagine this is a part of the reason for her constant acting out.
Her father, the Earl of Hanover, is quite a spectacular man. He is well aware of our family’s history, and yet he has not rejected me. He has chosen to see the value of someone who was in my position. Indeed, the Earl greatly values the education and status which I once had.
I was intrigued to know that he was so familiar with our story. Although I did not go into detail with him about what came after our family’s fall from grace, it seemed that he did not mind so much. He did not see me as any less for it.
I have been meaning to ask you how Aunt Catherine has been doing since you went to live with her? Are you both quite well? Has father ceased in his harassment of you?
It is certainly rather sad that he did not recognise his love for you until he lost you. I am sorry that you had to experience so much hurt before he was able to express to you his desire to remain true.
I have heard nothing more of him. Since the last time he came to find you and beg your forgiveness, there has been no news. Have you learned anything?
Victoria lifted the pen from her paper for a moment. She began to wonder if anything more had occurred. Her father had gone from losing his family to wishing he had them back. Of course, by then it had been too late.
She had been proud of her mother for remaining strong and refusing him. No matter how society might view her, she knew that she was not in the wrong. No, rather she had been right to cease in her enabling of him.
Just in that moment, Miss Franklin entered the room with a quiet knock at the door.
“Forgive me, Miss Jamison, but might I intrude for just a moment?” she asked.
Victoria nodded and turned fully to face the maid.
“Of course, what is it?” she asked patiently.
“I have been informed that the Earl is hosting a grand dinner tomorrow evening. He expects that you shall be there. His betrothed shall be attending, you see. And as she is soon to be Miss Marian’s stepmother, he deemed it rather necessary that you and she meet one another,” Miss Franklin said.
“Oh dear. Right, of course I shall. And can you tell me why it is that he thinks she should have any interest at all in meeting me?” Victoria asked, anxiously.
“Well, he said that Lady Ingles loves Marian as if she were her own daughter and that she should like to know what sort of lady is taking care of her education. I, myself, can’t say as much, but that is what the Earl believes and therefore that is what we are meant to honour,” Miss Franklin said, vaguely giving her own thoughts on the matter.
Victoria sighed.
“Yes, I suppose I understand,” she said.
Thinking about this woman that she was going to meet, Victoria was overwhelmed by nerves and the fears that she had about being introduced. She had met no noblewomen since her disgrace and she wondered if her name would be familiar to Lady Ingles even though she knew nothing of the woman.
Was it possible that Lady Ingles had entered society at the same time she had been meant to? Or that she might have known well about the fall of the Jamison family? She tried to push those thoughts aside. Her family’s humiliation could hardly be of any concern.
Truly, there were more pressing issues at hand, which caused her a great deal of anxiety. What if this woman was truly unkind to Marian? Or what if she felt a need to exert herself over Victoria in the home?
Victoria had agreed to work for the Earl, not for a noblewoman who was detested by her future stepdaughter.
And more than any of that, she still simply could not understand why the Earl was choosing to get married when he had made it rather clear to her that he was still in mourning over his late wife.
This bothered her a great deal. She could not wrap her mind around it. Why would he not refrain from a marriage until he had settled his thoughts on the fact of having lost his wife? He could not easily recover and he had been unable to even speak with Victoria on the matter. Surely if it had been so difficult for him as that, he would not be likely to move on so quickly now.
Miss Franklin was looking intently at Victoria and she noted it the moment she allowed her gaze to travel up again. She disliked being watched and stared at, but it was clear that Miss Franklin could see into her mind that there was something amiss.
“Might I ask what it is you are staring at?” she asked openly.
“I can see the something is bothering you, Miss Jamison,” she replied.