by Abigail Agar
“I suppose I am not so skilled at hiding my emotions as I wish to be,” Victoria confessed, to her own dismay.
“What is it?” Miss Franklin inquired.
“Well, I simply do not understand it all. I mean, Marian has made it quite evident that she dislikes this Lady Ingles and I have seen that the Earl is still grieving the loss of his late wife. So why is it that he is seeking to marry?” she asked, knowing that it was not her place to ask such a question.
For a moment, Victoria began to panic, wondering why she had been so bold as to make such an inquiry to another of the household staff. What if her questions should be reported to the Earl and he deemed her a gossip unworthy of his household? He had already been angry enough with her at the mere mention of his late wife, and she had not seen him since then.
“I wish I had an answer for you, Miss Jamison, but I do not. I have wondered it myself. You see, it is not my place, but I’ll share with you a few of my observations about him,” she offered.
Victoria silently nodded that she would like to hear what Miss Franklin had to say on the matter.
“You see, I like the man. He is as good a man as any. But I think he is rather sad. I know you have seen it; I believe most can see it in his face when he speaks or does just about anything. And it makes me pity him,” she confessed.
“You pity him?” Victoria asked, recognising the feeling in her own heart towards the sad man.
“Indeed. He is so unhappy most of the time and I can’t help but wish I could spend some time with him just trying to cheer him up. Not that he would appreciate the sort of humour a maid could offer, but anything to spark his spirits. He is always so sad,” she said again.
Victoria had seen this but didn’t feel as though she could comment, having only been in the house a little more than a day.
“I cannot help but pity Miss Marian as well. I mean, no wonder she acts out so much. The poor dearie has no mum and has to try and vie for her father’s attention when he is such an important and great man that it can hardly be done. Do you think she likes trying to misbehave for the sake of his affection?” Miss Franklin asked rhetorically.
“No, I imagine she does not. Does he give her no attention when she is behaving properly?” Victoria asked.
“Oh, he does. And I know that he loves her, truly. But she doesn’t seem to realise that at all. She is not a bad child, but she knows that she gets more attention from everybody when she acts poorly. So she does it over and over. I believe she is simply misunderstood,” Miss Franklin explained.
“I think that if we all showed her the same level of affection when she was good as when she is bad, we would have no trouble at all form her. Unfortunately, the long string of governesses that came before you did a poor job of it, and only encouraged her to behave badly in order to get the attention she wished for.”
At the end of that explanation, Victoria nodded once more, agreeing to everything that Miss Franklin had said. It seemed she truly was making a friend and she appreciated the maid’s perspective on all of these matters. She was relieved to hear that someone shared her thoughts and made her think that perhaps she was not such a fool for believing them.
“I am relieved that these are the things you have noted. I have been here only a day and have thought the same, but knew that perhaps my lack of time here was affecting my opinion,” she confessed.
“No, Miss Jamison. I think that because you are a rather wise woman, a kind one, it is easy for you to see the truth of the matter. I am not surprised in the least that it has taken you such a short time to observe the way things are here,” Miss Franklin remarked.
“Yes, well, I do hope that I shall be of some use in helping matters,” she replied.
“Indeed, you shall. Now, I had best get back to work and allow you to finish that letter you’re working on. I know it can get lonely here without family and writing is an important way to stay in touch with family, Miss Jamison,” she remarked, standing and grasping the duster in her hand.
Victoria smiled at her and said farewell before getting back to work at finishing her letter. She determined that she would have to tell her mother about Miss Franklin as well and the fact that she was making a friend. It would make her mother happy to hear that.
And it was already bringing Victoria the contentment that she needed if she was truly going to remain here. With the dinner the following night, she would need all the peace and contentment she could find.
Chapter 8
Dressing in her finest gown, Victoria still felt like a peasant. For years there had been no need at all for her to wear anything that might impress a person, but alas, here she was. It was a dinner that would be attended by the wealthy and the noblemen and women of society, and she had nothing at all to wear that might be deemed acceptable for such an affair.
She couldn’t help but wonder what sort of event this would be and if she would be accepted among the Earl’s crowd of friends. More than his friends, she wanted to be accepted by his betrothed.
There was really no reason for this desire and she knew it. Why should she care what the betrothed thought of her? She didn’t know this woman and they would have little interaction even after the marriage. Generally, stepmothers cared nothing about the education of their stepchildren.
Unless this woman was very different from what Marian described, Victoria thought she would be no different from most. And if she was the same, none of it really mattered and she ought to put her anxiety to rest.
But as she fixed her hair in place and glanced in the small mirror, she was reminded of the life she could have led if things had gone differently for her. Yes, everything should have turned out differently than it had, and there was nothing she was able to do to change that.
Victoria sighed and made her way down the stairs. She prepared herself for an evening of humiliation before it had even begun, simply assuming that due to her position, she would be treated with nothing more than this. It was the way of things.
A small crowd had gathered already and she entered into it, smiling at those she passed, many of whom gave her a glance for just a moment longer than necessary. She wondered if they were looking at her with the eyes that saw a servant or if they knew her past. Could they recognise her? Did they see the young woman who had been disgraced and who was now a governess?
Victoria tried not to think about it. She didn’t want to linger in the misfortune of those thoughts when she was there to serve her employer in whatever capacity it was that he was expecting that evening. She would be dutiful and genial.
Passing by Miss Franklin, who was restocking treys of pastries and sweets, she leaned in.
“Have you seen the Earl of Hanover? I’m to present myself to him first, is that correct?” she asked.
“Yes, Miss Jamison. I believe he is over by the drinks with some of his gentlemen friends, however. It might not be the best moment to interact. Wait until he departs from them,” she suggested.
Victoria nodded.
“Will Miss Marian be presented at all this evening?” Victoria wondered.
“Oh, no. Once she was and it was quite the disaster. She humiliated her father by throwing a tantrum and shouting about her hatred for Lady Ingles in front of the entire party. Since then, she has been relegated to her room, and the Earl will not allow her to leave it on these nights.
“Typically, he stations someone on her floor with drinks and treats for the party, and this person gives them to any guests who may be wandering past. But their primary duty is to ensure that Miss Marian does not leave her room,” she explained.
Victoria nodded. She had had another long, difficult day with the child and could imagine exactly why it was unwise to release her from her room when she was going to cause such trouble anyway.
“Well then, I suppose I ought to wait until the Earl is finished with his friends,” she conceded.
“You might go over to the sweets table. They are magnificent. The very best. And I guarantee y
ou that it is the best place to stand at the whole party and you will be able to speak to the Earl at once when he is free,” Miss Franklin noted before walking away with the empty trays.
Victoria had no desire to stand and eat sweets until the Earl noticed her. She wouldn’t want to be the subject of even more gossip and scandal as that gluttonous governess which she could so easily be considered by doing such a thing.
The day was going to be rather difficult enough without having to deal with such things. She, instead, waited in the corner. But the house continued to fill up and the moment one gentleman left the group, another joined.
Finally, she realised that she had little option other than to stand nearby until the Earl noticed her and made a decision of his own as to what he must do.
Shuffling into view, Victoria waited. The Earl’s eyes landed upon her instantly and she saw a half smile curve up at his lips. For a moment, he was distracted, but then pretended to be listening to the man beside him before politely informing the group that he had to make some introductions.
“Miss Jamison, it is good to see you this evening,” he said, breaking out of the pack.
“And you, my lord,” she curtseyed.
“I must introduce you to Lady Ingles. Will you follow me?” he asked, leading her to a group of ladies nearby.
“Excuse me ladies, but I fear that I must interrupt and take Lady Ingles from you all,” he said, engaging the women who all seemed to gaze upon him with the same affection that Victoria had felt well up in her own heart. There was evident jealousy among the women to see Lady Ingles chosen from out of them.
“Oh, my dear, what is it?” she asked, looking Victoria up and down with what appeared to be a polite smile.
“This is Miss Jamison, Marian’s governess,” he introduced.
The woman was beautiful with deep red hair and dark brown eyes. Her features were petite and her figure just the sort that an English woman might hope for.
Victoria sensed that she was less than impressive when compared to the woman, but she knew that it was simply a matter of her own appearance. The contrast of her dress to the white gown worn by Lady Ingles was stark and there was little doubt of their class difference. Nevertheless, the Earl’s betrothed seemed not to mind.
“It is very nice to meet you, Lady Ingles,” Victoria curtseyed again.
“Yes, I’m sure. And it is good to know that Marian has a governess who has had such a splendid education,” she replied, vaguely referencing the position Victoria once had to pay her a compliment.
“Well, I must be off and greet more of your guests, my lord,” Lady Ingles noted before taking her leave from them. It had been a brief introduction, but Victoria was left with the distinct impression that Lady Ingles was a decent woman who did not note the difference in their class, despite being aware of her own change in position.
Victoria saw the woman’s eyes consistently landing on others throughout the room, but the Earl did not quite seem to notice for he was looking at Victoria instead.
“Please excuse her, she is a socialite and is poorly accustomed to speaking for very long with anyone,” he said.
“It is nothing at all, my lord. I am hardly someone worth engaging with at a party,” Victoria laughed.
“Quite the contrary…” the Earl said, his eyes fixed on her.
Victoria felt a strange anxiety in her belly and wondered what he meant by that. But soon he was being approached again by another. He apologised to her before taking his leave and entering into the other conversations.
Sidling herself against the wall and observing the guests, Victoria thought back once more to the parties her parents had hosted. She had been young and unable to attend them in their entirety, but was always presented and allowed to remain for a time.
Now and then, she would catch eyes with the Earl who would look at her apologetically, as if he pitied her boredom and the fact that there was no one for her to speak with or engage. When she had a moment, she would catch Miss Franklin or one of the other maids and speak for only so long as they would not get into any trouble.
But then she would see Lady Ingles once more, who was proving to have a rather vivacious personality. She simply lit up the room and people were drawn to her from every corner of it.
Victoria wondered why the Earl was not making a greater effort to interact with her since she was so evidently amusing. Her liveliness and constant laughter were beautiful to behold, even if they did give Victoria another reason to be jealous. She hated that feeling and wished that she could make it dissipate.
She had not wished to be so petty and disliked that she was feeling alone and rejected that evening. Everything was a reminder of what had been taken from her by her father’s selfishness.
The man had chased after her mother after his mistake, trying to win her back once she left him. But he had never come back for Victoria, had never begged her forgiveness.
Oh, but this bitterness was too heavy to bear and Victoria pushed it aside, trying to enjoy herself. She got a pastry and retreated once more against the wall. At this point, she noticed a man coming closer to Lady Ingles.
A look passed between them, something that made Victoria feel ill and uncomfortable. She couldn’t quite say why, but she knew that the look held something that it ought not to have. Something wrong. Something…secret.
She watched them a little longer, but Lady Ingles shifted her position and spoke with some of the other women.
“Miss Franklin,” Victoria said in a loud whisper, trying to get her friend’s attention.
“What is it? Are you alright? Do you want some of the wine?” she offered.
“No, not at all. I am curious about that man there. Who is he?” she asked.
“Curious about him?” Miss Franklin laughed. “I suppose he is rather handsome, although he is near enough my father’s age.”
Victoria gave her a scolding look.
“I am not asking about him for any purposes of romance. I am simply curious of his identity,” she explained.
“Right, I see. Well, that is Mr. Smith, the landowner. He’s a decent enough man. Wealthy to boot. He owns a great number of estates like this. Rents them out to nobility,” she explained.
“Mr. Smith? He’s not titled himself?” Victoria asked.
“No. I heard his father was a great businessman who bought a few homes, but it was Mr. Smith who turned things into quite a fortune. He’s got the brains for money and he knows how to take care of a grand home,” she continued.
“Is he here often?” Victoria asked.
“I think so. I’ve seen him now and then. He’s always here for the parties. But he also has other homes that he checks in on, so it’s not as if he’s always here. I think he and the Earl are friends. And his family has always been friendly with Lady Ingles’ family,” Miss Franklin continued.
“Oh, I see,” Victoria said, somewhat disappointed.
If Lady Ingles was simply a good friend to Mr. Smith then there was no reason at all for her to have felt suspicion. She ought to have been happy, but there was something deep inside that had secretly wondered if the woman was not who she made herself appear to be.
All over again, Victoria had to fight off her jealousy. She could be stronger than this.
In that moment, her eyes locked again with the Earl. His gaze was piercing and strong. That stirring in her gut made all the jealousy and bitterness melt away until it was only him in the room.
Chapter 9
Everyone had been called to the proper dinner portion of the evening, but the moment it was over, the crowd felt large and overwhelming, more so than before. The evening had been intense and strange already and she wished for nothing but to escape to her room.