The Romany Rye

by George Borrow

  CHAPTER IX

  RETURN FROM CHURCH--THE CUCKOO AND GYPSY--SPIRITUAL DISCOURSE

  The service over, my companions and myself returned towards theencampment by the way we came. Some of the humble part of thecongregation laughed and joked at us as we passed. Mr. Petulengro andhis wife, however, returned their laughs and jokes with interest. As forTawno and myself, we said nothing; Tawno, like most handsome fellows,having very little to say for himself at any time; and myself, though nothandsome, not being particularly skilful at repartee. Some boys followedus for a considerable time, making all kinds of observations aboutgypsies, but as we walked at a great pace, we gradually left them behind,and at last lost sight of them. Mrs. Petulengro and Tawno Chikno walkedtogether, even as they had come, whilst Mr. Petulengro and myselffollowed at a little distance.

  'That was a very fine preacher we heard,' said I to Mr. Petulengro, afterwe had crossed the stile into the fields.

  'Very fine, indeed, brother,' said Mr. Petulengro; 'he is talked of, farand wide, for his sermons; folks say that there is scarcely another likehim in the whole of England.'

  'He looks rather melancholy, Jasper.'

  'He lost his wife several years ago, who, they say, was one of the mostbeautiful women ever seen. They say that it was grief for her loss thatmade him come out mighty strong as a preacher; for, though he was aclergyman, he was never heard of in the pulpit before he lost his wife;since then the whole country has rung with the preaching of the clergymanof M---, {57} as they call him. Those two nice young gentlewomen whomyou saw with the female childer are his daughters.'

  'You seem to know all about him, Jasper. Did you ever hear him preachbefore?'

  'Never, brother; but he has frequently been to our tent, and hisdaughters, too, and given us tracts; for he is one of the people theycall Evangelicals, who give folks tracts which they cannot read.'

  'You should learn to read, Jasper.'

  'We have no time, brother.'

  'Are you not frequently idle?'

  'Never, brother; when we are not engaged in our traffic we are engaged intaking our relaxation, so we have no time to learn.'

  'You really should make an effort. If you were disposed to learn toread, I would endeavour to assist you. You would be all the better forknowing how to read.'

  'In what way, brother?'

  'Why, you could read the Scriptures, and by so doing learn your dutytowards your fellow-creatures.'

  'We know that already, brother; the constables and justices havecontrived to knock that tolerably into our heads.'

  'Yet you frequently break the laws.'

  'So, I believe, do now and then those who know how to read, brother.'

  'Very true, Jasper; but you really ought to learn to read, as by so doingyou might learn your duty towards yourselves, and your chief duty is totake care of your own souls; did not the preacher say: "In what is a manprofited, provided he gain the whole world?"'

  'We have not much of the world, brother.'

  'Very little indeed, Jasper. Did you not observe how the eyes of thewhole congregation were turned towards our pew when the preacher said,"There are some people who lose their souls, and get nothing in exchange;who are outcast, despised, and miserable." Now, was not what he saidquite applicable to the gypsies?'

  'We are not miserable, brother.'

  'Well, then, you ought to be, Jasper. Have you an inch of ground of yourown. Are you of the least use? Are you not spoken ill of by everybody?What's a gypsy?'

  'What's the bird noising yonder, brother?'

  'The bird! Oh, that's the cuckoo tolling; but what has the cuckoo to dowith the matter?'

  'We'll see, brother; what's the cuckoo?'

  'What is it? you know as much about it as myself, Jasper.'

  'Isn't it a kind of roguish, chaffing bird, brother?'

  'I believe it is, Jasper.'

  'Nobody knows whence it comes, brother?'

  'I believe not, Jasper.'

  'Very poor, brother, not a nest of its own?'

  'So they say, Jasper.'

  'With every person's bad word, brother?'

  'Yes, Jasper, every person is mocking it.'

  'Tolerably merry, brother?'

  'Yes, tolerably merry, Jasper.'

  'Of no use at all, brother?'

  'None whatever, Jasper.'

  'You would be glad to get rid of the cuckoos, brother?'

  'Why, not exactly, Jasper; the cuckoo is a pleasant, funny bird, and itspresence and voice give a great charm to the green trees and fields; no,I can't say I wish exactly to get rid of the cuckoo.'

  'Well, brother, what's a Romany chal?'

  'You must answer that question yourself, Jasper.'

  'A roguish, chaffing fellow, a'n't he, brother?'

  'Ay, ay, Jasper.'

  'Of no use at all, brother?'

  'Just so, Jasper; I see--'

  'Something very much like a cuckoo, brother?'

  'I see what you are after, Jasper.'

  'You would like to get rid of us, wouldn't you?'

  'Why, no, not exactly.'

  'We are no ornament to the green lanes in spring and summer time, are we,brother? and the voices of our chies with their cukkerin {59a} anddukkerin {59b} don't help to make them pleasant?'

  'I see what you are at, Jasper.'

  'You would wish to turn the cuckoos into barn-door fowls, wouldn't you?'

  'Can't say I should, Jasper, whatever some people might wish.'

  'And the chals and chies into radical weavers and factory wenches, hey,brother?'

  'Can't say that I should, Jasper. You are certainly a picturesquepeople, and in many respects an ornament both to town and country;painting and lil writing {59c} too, are under great obligations to you.What pretty pictures are made out of your campings and groupings, andwhat pretty books have been written in which gypsies, or at leastcreatures intended to represent gypsies, have been the principal figures.I think if we were without you, we should begin to miss you.'

  'Just as you would the cuckoos, if they were all converted into barn-doorfowls. I tell you what, brother, frequently as I have sat under a hedgein spring or summer time and heard the cuckoo, I have thought that wechals and cuckoos are alike in many respects, but especially incharacter. Everybody speaks ill of us both, and everybody is glad to seeboth of us again.'

  'Yes, Jasper, but there is some difference between men and cuckoos; menhave souls, Jasper.'

  'And why not cuckoos, brother?'

  'You should not talk so, Jasper; what you say is little short ofblasphemy. How should a bird have a soul?'

  'And how should a man?'

  'Oh, we know very well that a man has a soul.'

  'How do you know it?'

  'We know very well.'

  'Would you take your oath of it, brother--your bodily oath?'

  'Why, I think I might, Jasper!'

  'Did you ever see the soul, brother?'

  'No, I never saw it.'

  'Then how could you swear to it? A pretty figure you would make in acourt of justice, to swear to a thing which you never saw. Hold up yourhead, fellow. When and where did you see it? Now upon your oath,fellow, do you mean to say that this Roman stole the donkey's foal? Oh,there's no one for cross-questioning like Counsellor P---. Our peoplewhen they are in a hobble always like to employ him, though he issomewhat dear. Now, brother, how can you get over the "upon your oath,fellow, will you say that you have a soul?"'

  'Well, we will take no oaths on the subject; but you yourself believe inthe soul. I have heard you say that you believe in dukkerin; now what isdukkerin but the soul science?'

  'When did I say that I believed in it?'

  'Why, after that fight, when you pointed to the bloody mark in the cloud,whilst he you wot of was galloping in the barouch to the old town, amidstthe rain-cataracts, the thunder, and flame of heaven.'

  'I have some kind of remembrance of it, brother.'

  'Then, again, I heard you
say that the dook {61a} of Abershaw rode everynight on horseback down the wooded hill.'

  'I say, brother, what a wonderful memory you have!'

  'I wish I had not, Jasper, but I can't help it, it is my misfortune.'

  'Misfortune! well, perhaps it is; at any rate it is very ungenteel tohave such a memory. I have heard my wife say that to show you have along memory looks very vulgar, and that you can't give a greater proof ofgentility than by forgetting a thing as soon as possible--more especiallya promise, or an acquaintance when he happens to be shabby. Well,brother, I don't deny that I may have said that I believe in dukkerin,and in Abershaw's dook, which you say is his soul; but what I believe onemoment, or say I believe, don't be certain that I shall believe the next,or say I do.'

  'Indeed, Jasper, I heard you say on a previous occasion on quoting apiece of a song, {61b} that when a man dies he is cast into the earth andthere's an end of him.'

  'I did, did I? Lor' what a memory you have, brother. But you are notsure that I hold that opinion now.'

  'Certainly not, Jasper. Indeed, after such a sermon as we have beenhearing, I should be very shocked if you held such an opinion.'

  'However, brother, don't be sure I do not, however shocking such anopinion may be to you.'

  'What an incomprehensible people you are, Jasper.'

  'We are rather so, brother; indeed, we have posed wiser heads than yoursbefore now.'

  'You seem to care for so little, and yet you rove about a distinct race.'

  'I say, brother!'

  'Yes, Jasper.'

  'What do you think of our women?'

  'They have certainly very singular names, Jasper.'

  'Names! Lavengro! However, brother, if you had been as fond of thingsas of names, you would never have been a pal of ours.'

  'What do you mean, Jasper?'

  'A'n't they rum animals?'

  'They have tongues of their own, Jasper.'

  'Did you ever feel their teeth and nails, brother?'

  'Never, Jasper, save Mrs. Herne's. I have always been very civil tothem, so--'

  'They let you alone. I say, brother, some part of the secret is inthem.'

  'They seem rather flighty, Jasper.'

  'Ay, ay, brother!'

  'Rather fond of loose discourse!'

  'Rather so, brother.'

  'Can you always trust them, Jasper?'

  'We never watch them, brother.'

  'Can they always trust you?'

  'Not quite so well as we can them. However, we get on very welltogether, except Mikailia and her husband; but Mikailia is a cripple, andis married to the beauty of the world, so she may be expected to bejealous--though he would not part with her for a duchess, no more than Iwould part with my rawnie, {62a} nor any other chal with his.'

  'Ay, but would not the chi part with the chal for a duke, Jasper?'

  'My Pakomovna gave up the duke for me, brother.'

  'But she occasionally talks of him, Jasper.'

  'Yes, brother, but Pakomovna was born on a common not far from the signof the gammon.'

  'Gammon of bacon, I suppose.'

  'Yes, brother; but gammon likewise means--'

  'I know it does, Jasper; it means fun, ridicule, jest; it is an ancientNorse word, and is found in the Edda.'

  'Lor', brother! how learned in lils you are!'

  'Many words of Norse are to be found in our vulgar sayings, Jasper; forexample--in that particularly vulgar saying of ours, "Your mother is up,"{62b} there's a noble Norse word; mother, there, meaning not the femalewho bore us, but rage and choler, as I discovered by reading the Sagas,Jasper.'

  'Lor', brother! how book-learned you be.'

  'Indifferently so, Jasper. Then you think you might trust your wife withthe duke?'

  'I think I could, brother, or even with yourself.'

  'Myself, Jasper! Oh, I never troubled my head about your wife; but Isuppose there have been love affairs between gorgios and Romany chies.{63} Why novels are stuffed with such matters; and then even one of yourown songs says so--the song which Ursula was singing the otherafternoon.'

  'That is somewhat of an old song, brother, and is sung by the chies as awarning at our solemn festivals.'

  'Well! but there's your sister-in-law, Ursula, herself, Jasper.'

  'Ursula, herself, brother?'

  'You were talking of my having her, Jasper.'

  'Well, brother, why didn't you have her?'

  'Would she have had me?'

  'Of course, brother. You are so much of a Roman, and speak Romany soremarkably well.'

  'Poor thing! she looks very innocent!'

  'Remarkably so, brother! however, though not born on the same common withmy wife, she knows a thing or two of Roman matters.'

  'I should like to ask her a question or two, Jasper, in connection withthat song.'

  'You can do no better, brother. Here we are at the camp. After tea,take Ursula under a hedge, and ask her a question or two in connectionwith that song.'