The Romany Rye

by George Borrow

  CHAPTER XXXVIII

  HIGH DUTCH

  It was evening: and myself and the two acquaintances I had made in thefair--namely, the jockey and the tall foreigner--sat in a large upstairsroom, which looked into a court; we had dined with several peopleconnected with the fair at a long table d'hote; they had now departed,and we sat at a small side-table with wine and a candle before us; bothmy companions had pipes in their mouths--the jockey a common pipe, andthe foreigner, one, the syphon of which made of some kind of wood, was atleast six feet long, and the bowl of which, made of a white kind ofsubstance like porcelain, and capable of holding nearly an ounce oftobacco, rested on the ground. The jockey frequently emptied andreplenished his glass; the foreigner sometimes raised his to his lips,for no other purpose seemingly than to moisten them, as he never drainedhis glass. As for myself, though I did not smoke, I had a glass beforeme, from which I sometimes took a sip. The room, notwithstanding thewindow was flung open, was in general so filled with smoke, chiefly thatwhich was drawn from the huge bowl of the foreigner, that my companionsand I were frequently concealed from each other's eyes. Theconversation, which related entirely to the events of the fair, wascarried on by the jockey and myself, the foreigner, who appeared tounderstand the greater part of what we said, occasionally putting in afew observations in broken English. At length the jockey, after theother had made some ineffectual attempts to express somethingintelligibly which he wished to say, observed: 'Isn't it a pity that sofine a fellow as meinheer, and so clever a fellow too, as I believe himto be, is not a little better master of our language?'

  'Is the gentleman a German?' said I; 'if so I can interpret for himanything he wishes to say.'

  'The deuce you can,' said the jockey, taking his pipe out of his mouth,and staring at me through the smoke.

  'Ha! you speak German,' vociferated the foreigner in that language. 'ByIsten, I am glad of it! I wanted to say--' And here he said in Germanwhat he wished to say, and which was of no great importance, and which Itranslated into English.

  'Well, if you don't put me out,' said the jockey; 'what language isthat--Dutch?'

  'High Dutch,' said I.

  'High Dutch, and you speak High Dutch; why I had booked you for as greatan ignoramus as myself, who can't write--no, nor distinguish in a book agreat A from a bull's foot.'

  'A person may be a very clever man,' said I; 'no, not a clever man, forclever signifies clerkly, and a clever man one who is able to read andwrite, and entitled to the benefit of his clergy or clerkship; but aperson may be a very acute person without being able to read or write. Inever saw a more acute countenance than your own.'

  'No soft soap,' said the jockey, 'for I never uses any. However, thankyou for your information; I have hitherto thought myself a 'nition cleverfellow, but from henceforth shall consider myself just the contrary, andonly--what's the word?--confounded 'cute.'

  'Just so,' said I.

  'Well,' said the jockey, 'as you say you can speak High Dutch, I shouldlike to hear you and master six foot six fire away at each other.'

  'I cannot speak German,' said I, 'but I can understand tolerably wellwhat others say in it.'

  'Come, no backing out,' said the jockey, 'let's hear you fire away forthe glory of Old England.'

  'Then you are a German?' said I, in German, to the foreigner.

  'That will do,' said the jockey, 'keep it up.'

  'A German!' said the tall foreigner. 'No, I thank God that I do notbelong to the stupid sluggish Germanic race, but to a braver, taller, andhandsomer people;' here taking the pipe out of his mouth, he stood upproudly erect, so that his head nearly touched the ceiling of the room,then reseating himself, and again putting the syphon to his lips, headded, 'I am a Magyar.'

  'What is that?' said I.

  The foreigner looked at me for a moment, somewhat contemptuously, throughthe smoke, then said, in a voice of thunder: 'A Hungarian!'

  'What a voice the chap has when he pleases!' interposed the jockey; 'whatis he saying?'

  'Merely that he is a Hungarian,' said I, but I added, 'the conversationof this gentleman and myself in a language which you can't understandmust be very tedious to you, we had better give it up.'

  'Keep on with it,' said the jockey, 'I shall go on listening verycontentedly till I fall asleep, no bad thing to do at most times.'