Define Me

by Culine Ramsden

  “Yes, I will be there now.”

  I dressed into my PJ’s, not too worried about Cole; he had slept over enough times. As I walked down the stairs I heard voices coming from the sitting room. I walked in and I noticed Heather and Cole all tangled up, to my surprise Brent was also there. Big mouth Cole, I thought he didn’t want Brent to spend the night.

  Heather and Cole were sitting on the on couch and Brent was sitting on the other. His one arm was resting on the back of the couch, he looked so relaxed. Heather was telling stories of our time back at school. He looked so carefree not at all the man I had seen the last few days. There was no way I was going sit next to him not after yesterday. I grabbed a pillow off the couch and parked myself on the floor next to the coffee table.

  “Are you quite comfortable on the floor there, you know I don’t bite princess.”

  “Yes, thanks I am fine right here, just starving.”

  It was a great night, Cole warmed up to Brent after about an hour, and it didn’t look like he wanted to beat him up anymore. I finally relaxed, (ok yes the wine helped a lot. Between Heather and I, I think we finished 2 bottles.) Brent started telling stories of Heather and I playing volleyball back in school. I didn’t realize he even noticed us; he was always on his own doing his own thing, just him, his guitar and that beat up pick-up truck.

  “So Brent tell me, what ever happened to that old Ford pick-up you used to drive back in school?”

  “Old Sally, you remembered her? I still have her, she is just resting a little, and she saw too much action back then. I’m trying to restore her back to her old glory days but time and money are a bit of an issue, I will get there.”

  “Yeah I can only imagine the type of action she had to see. You were a bit of a player back in school, lots of cat fights to get your attention.”

  “Oh is that so, did you get hurt in one of those cat fights?”

  “WHAT, I don’t fight over a guy; I wait for them to fight over me.” I shouldn’t have said that, the grin on Brent’s face told me exactly what he was thinking, I did not mean it like that. (I wish sometimes I had a filter on my mouth; it has gotten me into so much trouble.)

  “Is that a challenge, Princess?”

  “I didn’t mean it like that, I …”

  Before I could finish my sentence Cole walked in from fetching his phone out of the car. I could see he had a stressed look on his face and while he was looking at the screen the phone rang. We all stopped talking; Cole looked at his phone and then looked up at me. Oh shit what now.

  “Hey dude, how’s things going, how is grams? … good glad to hear that, … yes I’m here, Caitlin is sitting having pizza with us, … she is fine … yes hang on I will give her the phone.”

  Cole covered the phone with his hand while he handed it over to me.

  “He is pissed; I think you need to take the call upstairs.”

  I looked at Cole in disbelief, what did I do wrong? I was here the whole night under Cole’s watch. I took the phone from Cole and started walking to my room. (What do I say, pretend everything is ok when I know it is not, or do I cower like I did with Hunter all those times? Oh no I wouldn’t I had done nothing wrong, so why should I have felt bad.)

  “Hey babes, you miss me already?”

  Vincent didn’t even greet me properly, just started blasting me.

  “Where the hell have you been, I have been trying to get hold of you for over an hour now and nothing. Where is your phone? I asked you to keep your phone on you all the time and to phone me if anything happens. I have been going out of my mind not even Cole was answering the phone. What the hell Caitlin, I was ready to fly back. I …”

  “Can you please stop talking and give a chance to explain, or should I just put the phone down?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Great, so let me tell you what happened. Cole must have left his phone in the car and when we got home I got into the bath and put my phone on charge. I must have forgotten it upstairs. Nothing happened, Cole and Brent has been here the whole night, we safe.”

  “What the fuck is Brent doing there? I thought Cole said he was staying over and there was no need for Brent to be at the house.”

  “I can’t answer that one, when I came down for supper Brent was inside, they invited him for supper, nothing happened, why are you so upset about that, don’t you trust me?”

  “It’s not that I don’t trust you Cat, it is Brent I am worried about and you know that. Being this far away from you is freaking me out and the fact that I can’t do anything about it, and then to top it all I’m the one that asked him to be there. I feel like I made a mistake.”

  I decided to calm down; I understood where Vincent was coming from.

  “Yes I understand how you feel, but I promise you there is nothing to worry about. I love you and I will not betray you. You’re the man of my dreams, my everything.”

  “I love you to babes, I wish I was there to hold you in my arms, I miss you so much.”

  “I miss you too. So tell me how is your grams?”

  “Not good, I sat with her a little tonight, she opened her eyes for a little, so I know she saw me, she is weak and the doctors aren’t too hopeful. She is a fighter. My mom said she had a severe stroke and there might be some damage to her speech and her motor skills, but it is too early to tell. My mom is taking this all very badly, being the only child; you can imagine how she feels.”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “I hope to be back on Friday.”

  “Ok, well only six sleeps without you, I hope I can make it, you promise to put me to bed every night with a goodnight phone call?”

  “Yeah, I will phone every night to tuck you in. Well I better go, speak to you soon. I love Caitlin.”

  “Ditto, sweet dreams.”

  Just before I walked out my room to give Cole his phone back; I picked mine up from the night stand. Shit, 20 missed calls and just as many text messages, no wonder Vincent was freaking out. I walked back to the lounge; everyone was looking at me waiting for me to say something. I handed Cole his phone.

  “All’s fine, your forgiven.”

  “Me for what?”

  “For not answering his 20 million phone calls.”

  “Oh, yeah, like we are ever going to hear the end of that one, Vincent is not the type of person to forget.”

  “Well, I think I have overstayed my welcome, Thank you Caitlin, Heather pizza was great.”

  “Thank you for joining us Brent let me walk you out.”

  “Thanks, so what time tomorrow do I need to report for duty?”

  “What?”

  “What are your plans for tomorrow Princess, your boyfriend asked me to look after you or have you forgotten already?”

  “Oh yes, well I want to go for a run first, you up for that?”

  “I just finished boot camp not too long ago; I think I can handle a little bit of running early in the morning.”

  “Oh you think so, well let’s see about that. Report for duty then at 5:30, I like to see the sun come up.”

  “See you in the morning, Princess.”

  “Why do you call me that?”

  “Just a thing from back at school, you were always untouchable, little bit of a snob, like royalty. So princess just felt like the perfect name for you.”

  “You know maybe you should have tried a little harder at school; you would have seen I’m not like that, it’s just that Hunter …”

  “I know, you don’t need to explain, I know.”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For back then and for now.”

  “I failed you then but not this time, we will get him if it is the last thing I ever do. Men like him don’t deserve to walk on the same earth as you. I will not let you down again Caitlin.”

  “You never let me down, what are you talking about?”

  “It’s a conversation for another time, it is late you need to get to bed, good night Caitlin. You have my numbe
r if you hear anything or just need to talk; just phoning me.”

  “Ok thank you Brent.”

  Brent walked out towards his car; I turned around and closed the door. I wondered what he meant by “let me down again”.

  As I walked back into the lounge Heather and Cole were having a serious make out session, I really didn’t need to see that. I texted Vincent a quick goodnight kiss and waited for something in return but nothing.

  Chapter 27

  5:30 sharp Brent knocked on the front door. (Oh so punctual.) I opened the door, shit, I never realised how good looking he was. The white T-shirt was a tad too tight; it was hugging his upper body in all the right places. (Close your mouth Caitlin you are drooling.)

  “Mmh so you made it.”

  “I told you I would, you ready?”

  Both Heather and Cole were still fast asleep. (I eventually needed to put my pillow over my head, didn’t realize Heather was a screamer.)

  I closed the door behind me and locked it, tucking the keys into my sweat pants. Brent and I walked in silence down to the beach. I suddenly felt really strange. This was mine and Vincent’s time and now I was sharing it with Brent. This was not right, but I couldn’t turn back now. I just needed to keep my distance. We started running my normal route, that morning my pace was a little faster than usual, I should have skipped the running for that week.

  “You ok? You look like you have something on your mind.”

  “No nothing, I just wonder if it is such a good idea to go running this time of the morning with Hunter on the loose. Talking about Hunter, have you guys found him? Do you know if the police have any leads, Vincent changed my phone number after the last phone call, so even if Hunter tried to get hold of me again he can’t.”

  Brent grabbed me by the arm, stopping me in my tracks. I turned around to face him.

  “Caitlin stop babbling, we’ve got this. The police have a lead and the guys are good, we will find him. Let’s go back and talk I can see you are not comfortable doing this.”

  “No I’m fine, it’s just this thing with Hunter is getting the better of me. I never realized that he was capable of this, at school things were so different.”

  I tried to play down what I was really feeling, I hoped Brent bought it; I didn’t want him to think. … OMG I don’t know what I want him to think! I felt an attraction towards him, but I was with Vincent and I loved Vincent.

  “No Caitlin, things at school weren’t much different from now; you were just too close and too blind to see. Let me take you back home, you’re right, I can’t do this running, you going to kill me and then your boyfriend will finish the job because I was not capable of looking after his “precious”.”

  “Ha, ha, you so funny, ok I will let you off.”

  I was relieved, I think the less time we spent alone the better. By the time we go back home, Heather was dressed and ready for the day.

  “Where have you been, I woke –up with your phone going crazy and then Cole’s, I think you need to go check, your boyfriend phoned. Oh good morning handsome, you look sexy, sweaty and all.”

  “Glad you think so, but you better not let your boyfriend hear you say that.”

  “Oh don’t worry his gone already; you want to come in for some coffee, just made a pot.”

  “No Brent is just leaving, stop flirting with him. Bye Brent, I don’t have class today so I will be staying home studying. Will let you know if I’m going anywhere, ok.”

  “Yes I better go, chat later.”

  I closed the door and turned to look at Heather.

  “You have no shame do you? Flirting with Brent what is wrong with you?”

  “What? He is freaking hot, did you see the body on him? That white t-shirt left nothing to the imagination and I’m not even talking about the shorts hanging low on his hips. The V, freaking hell, how do they say, it makes clever girls do stupid things.”

  “Oh so you say you are clever, well come genius I need some coffee.”

  “Please tell me that you are not that blind to see what I just saw.”

  “I’m also a clever girl and well this morning the drool nearly dripped out of my mouth when I saw him. But I’m with Vincent and can’t be thinking things like that about another man. Shit if you ever repeat what I just said I will kill you.”

  “Our secret, promise. So what did you guys talk about?”

  “Not much, I was freaking out a little, so we did not finish the run. He said something strange last night and again this morning. He said that he failed me back in school and will not do it again, that I was too blind to see the real Hunter back then.”

  “I don’t know babes, I was also blind when it came to Hunter, and he looked like the perfect boyfriend, the type you take home to mom and dad.”

  Heather and I had breakfast and then she left for work. I needed to study, exams were coming and I needed to do my prep. I was just about to get ready to jump in the bath when my phone rang. Shit I forgot, Heather said Vincent was trying to get hold of me this morning.

  “Hey”

  “Morning, darling.”

  Vincent sounded very calm but I could tell he was holding back. After the previous night I think he was exhausted.

  “Sorry, I forgot my phone again.”

  “Yeah, I suspected that, are you ok, Cole said you went for a run this morning.”

  “Yes, Brent offered to run with me but it was a short one, it did not feel right. My morning runs are time with you and the sea, I can’t share it.”

  “Oh, I’m very happy to hear that.”

  I could almost hear the tension drain from his voice.

  “So what are your plans for today?”

  “Going to hospital with my mom and then sorting a few things back at home and you?”

  “Um, not much, I need to start prepping for exams so just staying home. No need to worry.”

  “Well enjoy your day, will chat later, my mom’s calling.”

  “I love you, chat later.”

  Talking to Vincent made me miss him even more. Didn’t know how I was going to make that week without him and spending time with Brent was just not an option. Thank goodness for school, I had back to back classes that week and then prep in the afternoons.

  Lucky for me the rest of the week went by without a hitch. Brent was always in the background, not intruding but yet close enough so I knew that he was there looking after me. There was still not luck with finding Hunter; it was like he had just disappeared. The phone he used to contact me the last time had been disconnected. But I could feel he was near.

  It was Thursday, one more sleep and then Vincent would back, I had missed him so much, but at least we spoke every day, texting or phoning as much as we could. I woke up that morning with a sick feeling in my stomach. It was late afternoon already, but I needed to go for a run, the 4 walls of my room were closing in on me. I needed to clear my head. I knew Brent would be outside at his post, but I didn’t want him to come with me.

  I texted Vincent and Brent at the same time.

  “Going for a run, don’t worry, I won’t go far.”

  When I got outside I saw Brent’s car parked to the side of the house, he was sitting inside it. When he saw me he got out and started walking towards me.

  “I need to do this on my own, please.”

  “Ok, I understand, but please Caitlin, don’t go far, I have posted some of the guys further up the trail, just stick to your normal route please.”

  “Ok I will.”

  I was glad Brent respected my request, I could see the worry in his eyes, something had happened. It was strange that Vincent did not text me back. The run was good, with my music in my ears I could drown out all my worries for just a little while. On my way back I noticed Brent sitting on the rocks looking out to the sea; he was sitting at my favourite spot.

  “Hey, this is my spot.”

  “I know, I was hoping you would find you way back here.”

  “Oh really and why is that?”
/>
  “I need to talk to you.”

  I was starting to freak out, I had a sick feeling the whole day and this was not helping.

  “What is wrong?”

  “Nothing is wrong; I just need to say something to you.”

  “Ok, you are freaking me out you do understand that, so spit it out.”

  “Come sit here next to me the wind is starting to pick up and you all sweaty.”

  I climbed onto the rock and sat next to Brent; I was starting to shiver a little, not too sure if it is the wind or my nerves.