When It All Falls Down: A Chicago Hood Drama (A Hustler's Lady Book 1)

by Tamicka Higgins

  “Just about how that dude may come after you,” Ayana said. “Well, really, I feel like there is no if about it, but rather that he will.”

  “Yeah,” Tramar said. “I been thinkin’ the same thing. During the moment, you know, when we ran up in the house, it was kind of exhilarating in a way. I felt like we was doin’ some of that shit you see on television. But once we left and the nigga came out the house naked and shooting at a nigga and stuff, I really thought about it. But, then again, I feel like if the nigga Byron goes after anybody, then he’d prolly go after Jackson. After all, it was Jackson who took me there and shit.”

  “Yeah,” Ayana said, still unsure.

  They continued talking as the sun fell out of the sky. Quickly, it had gotten nearly dark outside. When Ayana noticed that Tramar’s breathing was slow and steady, she nudged him, not wanting him to fall asleep.

  “Don’t forget I gotta go back home tonight,” Ayana said, lifting her head up on her elbow. “You know I told you that I got that interview tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Tramar said, his voice sounding a bit groggy. “I know. I ain’t forgot. But even after all we just talked about with the money and all, you still gon’ go out there and try to work when you know you ain’t got to?”

  “I don’t know,” Ayana said. “I’mma go just in case we don’t decide to go nowhere. I don’t really want the job, but just in case, I figured it’d be better for me to at least go to the interview and see what they talkin’ bout.”

  “I feel you,” Tramar said, sliding out of the bed. He stood up and stretched, his brown-skinned bubble butt facing Ayana. She giggled then reached across the bed and slapped it. Tramar flinched, turned around, and looked at her. “What I tell you about doin’ that to a nigga?” he asked her, playfully.

  The two of them got up and got back into their clothes. Once dressed, they both picked up the stacks of money that they’d pushed onto the floor. Seeing this kind of money caused Ayana’s mind to go to so many places. It was almost unreal, as if she were in a movie. When she’d been talking to Tramar on the phone earlier, she didn’t think he’d meant doing something like this. Then again, he’d made a good point about how she wasn’t so concerned with the car ring or when he and his boys that he used to hang with hit licks in some of the nicer parts of Chicago.

  Once all the money had been gathered up, Tramar stuffed it back into the bag. He lifted the edge of the motel dresser up and pushed the bag underneath. As he dropped the dresser, he looked at Ayana. “You the only one who know this money is here, okay?”

  Ayana nodded. “Okay,” she said. “You ain’t gotta worry about me tellin’ nobody.”

  “I know I don’t,” Tramar said, leaning in and kissing Ayana. “I know I don’t. I was just saying because a nigga gotta say what’s on his mind. Come on so I can get you home.”

  The two left the hotel room and climbed into his Charger. Even though Tramar had just relieved a lot of stress by smashing Ayana, he was still alert. The moment he’d stepped out onto the motel walkway, his eyes darted about. He looked for parked, running cars. He looked for goons to be walking his way. He looked for a car to be slowing down at the very same time that he was walking. In the driver’s seat, he pulled away and headed back into Chicago, dropping Ayana off at her apartment building. Tramar got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk with her.

  “I was serious about what I said,” Tramar said, holding Ayana’s waist. He glanced around before lowering his hands and grabbing her ass. “We ain’t gotta do it right away or nothin’, but if you wanna move away and start over new, I’m down. You just say the place and we can go, okay?”

  Ayana paused for a moment, thinking about how much of an offer that really was to her. “Okay,” she said, smiling. “I’ll think about it. And if we stay here?”

  “Then shit, I’mma just make money the only way I know how,” Tramar said. “I’mma be out in these streets, hustling and shit.”

  “And if that Byron dude come after y’all, or don’t just want you and Jackson?” Ayana asked.

  “Man,” Tramar said, shaking his head. “I’mma try to talk some fuckin’ sense into Jackson’s ole hard head. I told him we shoulda killed that nigga when we had the chance so we wouldn’t have to be worrying about that shit. Hell, maybe we’ll go back and do it. Shit, better him than me, you know?”

  “Yeah,” Ayana said.

  Ayana and Tramar kissed before she went back into her apartment building. Walking up to the third floor, she couldn’t help but think about the money she’d seen at the motel room. She surely wasn’t in favor of Tramar killing anybody, but if it made sure that he’d be okay, she understood. Furthermore, the entire reason behind it happening was indeed because the Byron guy didn’t give Jackson the money he was owed, or at least that’s how Tramar had explained it to Ayana.

  Ayana let herself into her mother’s apartment. Upon stepping into the living room, she saw how dark the room was. She figured her mother was asleep, as it was going on eleven o’clock. Ayana slid out of her jacket, throwing it onto the couch, then walked back into the bedroom hallway. Just as she was about to push her bedroom door open, she could hear a man say, “Shit!”

  She stopped for a moment, realizing that the man’s voice was coming out of her mother’s room. Ayana shook her head and then heard, “Damn, bitch! Suck that dick.”

  Ayana cringed and rushed into her bedroom. She hated when she came home at night and her mother had a man in her bedroom. It wasn’t that she didn’t want her mother to date. Rather, she was uncomfortable with the fact that her mother never kept a guy around for too long. Not only were they too young for her, but they also came and went so fast that if Ayana did actually meet any of them, they’d soon be out the door.

  Inside her bedroom, Ayana pushed the door closed and tried to drown out the noise that was coming from her mother’s bedroom. Because the apartment was so quiet, she could hear her mother going down on the man. And he egged her on, calling her bitch and telling her to “deep throat that shit.”

  Ayana looked through her closet, looking at what she had to wear to Hartford Insurance the next morning. With it being located downtown in one of the office buildings, she knew she’d have to wear some shoes that were comfortable. She’d be walking from the train station and wasn’t exactly sure how far of a walk that would be. She also needed to think about how windy it would be, especially downtown where the sunlight was somewhat blocked on many streets by tall buildings.

  As Ayana pulled a couple pairs of pants and blouses out of her closet, she heard her mother’s bedroom door open. While she was indeed minding her own business, she couldn’t help but hear the words being exchanged between her mother and the man. The man’s voice was deep and husky, telling Ayana that maybe he wasn’t as young as her mother usually preferred.

  “Your wife still ain’t suckin’ that dick like I can, is she?” Ayana could hear her mother ask the man. Ayana cringed, hating to hear her mother talking that way.

  “Hell naw,” the man said, after letting out a deep breath. “You a fuckin’ professional. Is it coo if I come back through tomorrow when she at work and shit?”

  “Hell yeah, nigga,” Neeci said.

  “Here, here’s a hundred for you,” the man said. “I’ll be back through tomorrow, if you can make time for a nigga.”

  “I will, I will,” Neeci said.

  Ayana felt a wave of disgust come over her when she’d thought about how her mother had been in the other room sucking dick for money. When Ayana heard the front door close and then the man’s footsteps heading downstairs to the parking lot, her mother walked back across the living room and yelled out, “Damn that was a big dick!”

  Ayana shook her head and carried on with what she was going. She opened her dresser, looking through her jewelry. When she pushed the drawer closed, it thumped against the drawer above it.

  “Hello?” Neeci said, in an alarmed voice.

  “What?” Ayana said, holding her hea
d up and toward her bedroom door. A few seconds later, her mother came into the bedroom hallway and was now standing in Ayana’s bedroom doorway.

  “Ayana?” she said. “When did you get here? I ain’t hear you come in. I thought you was gon’ somewhere with Tramar for the night and wasn’t coming back.”

  “No, Mama,” Ayana said, not even bothering to turn around. “I went and hung out with Tramar, but he busy today and I got a job interview in the morning, so I had to come home. I got here like twenty minutes ago, when you was…when you was busy in your room.” She shook her head, not realizing that she was doing such.

  Neeci put her hand on her hips. “Well,” she said. “I see. You shoulda told me that you was comin’ back. I woulda had my company over at some other time instead.”

  “No, that’s okay,” Ayana said. “You coo, Mama. I know you gotta make your money.”

  “Make my money?” Neeci said, not liking the way her daughter was talking to her. She pushed Ayana’s bedroom door all the way open and stepped inside. Dressed in some short boy shorts and a tight t-shirt she’d gotten on a trip to West Virginia, her thickness looked as if it were nearly bursting out of the cloth.

  Ayana turned and looked at her mother, seeing the look on her face. “What, Mama?” she said.

  “What the fuck is your problem?” Neeci asked. “What you mean I gotta make my money?”

  Ayana set her jewelry down on top of the dresser and turned around. She simply wasn’t in the mood for her mother’s shit today. Sometimes, the woman could be nice and friendly. Other times, a different side would come out of her – a side that was always trying to be as young as she possibly could be. “Mama, I heard you,” Ayana said in a very confident way. “I heard you when you was in there doing it. I heard you when you came out and asked about his wife. I heard you when he gave you a hundred. It wasn’t like y’all was talkin’ quietly.”

  “Well, excuse me,” Neeci said. “I mean, damn. It ain’t like we knew you was here, Ayana. You shoulda announced yourself when you came in.”

  “Would you have been able to hear me anyway, Mama?” Ayana asked. “Or would you have been too busy hearing yourself?”

  Neeci stepped forward. “Girl, you need to watch how the fuck you talkin’ to me,” she said. “I guess you done forgot whose house it is that you in. After all, you ain’t got no job, no car, no place. Ain’t no reason for you to come talkin’ to me like that, and you ain’t paid for shit around here.”

  “And there you go with that shit again, Mama,” Ayana said. She normally didn’t curse with her mother. However, desperate times called for desperate measures. She was tired of her mother treating her as if she were some child who depended on her. That was simply not the case. “Every time you get to feeling guilty about whatever you doing with these niggas you bring up in here, you go talking about how I don’t have this and I ain’t got that. At least I’m out there looking for a job. Mama, I got a job interview at an insurance company downtown tomorrow. I’m not gon’ be sucking dick for tips.”

  In the blink of an eye, Neeci lunged forward and slapped Ayana across the face. When Ayana turned her face back to her mother, grabbing the side of her own face from how much it stung, her eyes swelled. “What you do that for, Mama?” she asked.

  “‘Cause,” Neeci said, now standing only a foot or so from her daughter. “You was talkin’ to me like you needed the shit slapped out of you.”

  Ayana looked into her mother’s eyes. They were blood-shot red, telling her that she’d been high on something or another. She’d seen her mother like this on a few occasions. And she knew she wasn’t in her right mind at times like this.

  “I hope that job pay you enough to move on up outta here,” Neeci said, turning around and heading back to the door. “If you knew how to work a nigga right, like that fine ass nigga you be seeing, than maybe one would take care of you. I see that ain’t happening. He fuckin’ around with some other bitch or something?”

  “Naw, Mama,” Ayana said. “What are you talking about? All you wanna do is fuck, and I see the way you be looking at Tramar when I bring him over here. You be looking at him like you wanna drop to your knees.”

  Neeci snickered and shook her head. “Girl, if you only knew,” she said. “If I wanted your nigga, I woulda took him already. I can already tell you don’t know what you doin’. You one of them chicks that prolly a nigga only keep around cause you pretty, for now. I bet that nigga is fuckin’ around on you. I can see the way he be lookin’ at me and shit, so don’t think it’s just a one way street or nothing. Cause I don’t think it is. If I want your nigga, I will take him. Just know that.”

  Ayana had heard enough. While she respected people who were older than her, she still couldn’t just stand by while her mother said some of the worst things she’d ever heard in her life. Without thinking, Ayana reacted. She rushed around the front of her bed and began to swing at her mother, tears rolling down her eyes.

  “Fuck you, bitch!” Ayana said. “I’m tired of your ass. All you is, is a hoe. A fuckin’ hoe.”

  Neeci ducked away from her daughter’s swinging arms. Once Ayana had slowed down a bit, tired, Neeci reached out and slapped her across the face. As Ayana’s head turned to the side from the impact, Neeci began to swing just as wildly as Ayana had been swinging. It wasn’t long before the mother and daughter were involved in a full- blown fight. It spilled out into the living room, with Ayana managing to push her mother over the side of the couch. Neeci recovered quickly, jumping up then grabbing a fistful of Ayana’s hair. Ayana shrieked as it felt like her hair was being ripped out of her head.

  “Girl, you need to calm down,” Neeci said, realizing that she had her daughter in place. “You need to calm the fuck down. I’m your mother. I don’t know who the fuck you think you is attacking me and shit. Girl, you need to calm down.”

  Furious, Ayana felt as if her mother had gotten the best of her. If she swung in one direction, her mother would use the grip on her head to pull her in another direction. She calmed down, breathing heavily until her mother finally let up and let go of her hair. When Ayana walked away from her mother, she turned back and looked at her. “I fuckin’ hate you!” she said.

  Neeci snickered. “Well, good,” she said, watching Ayana storm into her room like a girl who had just gotten her ass beat. “I hope you get that job tomorrow so you can get the hell up outta here. Cause next time you say some shit like that to me, it’s gon’ be worse than that. Girl, you ain’t seen shit.”

  Ayana went into her bedroom and slammed her door. She looked at her face, thankful that it wasn’t too scratched up. The few scratches there were, which were on the sides of her face, were light enough to where Ayana knew she could cover them up with makeup in the morning before she headed downtown to her job interview.

  Ayana sat on the edge of her bed and shook her head. She looked up toward the ceiling. “Good God, I need to get me some money so I can get out of here,” she said. “I can’t take this no more.” The thought of moving away with Tramar came to mind. As the night went on, Ayana thought about it more and more. It was looking very tempting.

  Chapter 5

  When Ayana got off of the L Train downtown, she felt as if the world was looking at her. The makeup did manage to cover up nearly all of the scratches on her face, except for one small scratch. It was up near her ear. With her resume printed off and inside of a folder, she walked down State Street, pushing against the strong Chicago wind with each step she took. The deeper she got into the area of downtown with the financial buildings and bank towers, the more nervous she became. She wanted this interview to go well, so at least she’d be able to get some money coming in, even if she did wind up going away with Tramar.

  Moving away had been on her mind as she went to sleep. After some time thinking about it, she figured the idea was Tramar simply reacting to the possibility that the dude they robbed could come back after them. When Ayana woke up in the morning at nine o’clock, she’d had a t
ext message from Tramar, saying that he wished her luck on her interview today. Ayana smiled as she replied, promising that she would call him when the interview was over and let him know how it went.

  465 State Street.

  Ayana approached the building that had the address the human resources person at Hartford Insurance had sent to her with the additional questions. Dressed in black dress plants and a white blouse, she walked into the glass office building and up to the front desk. With directions from an older Hispanic woman, she made her way up to the 16th floor. There, a Mr. Robertson, whom she’d spoken with over email, greeted her. He was a tall, thin white guy with graying hair and a bit of an accent. He welcomed her to Hartford Insurance before leading her back to his office.

  Mr. Robertson’s office was a corner office with floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the street down below. Ayana smiled, putting on her best personality as she walked into the office and sat at a chair on one side of the desk.

  “Now, just relax,” Mr. Robertson said, sensing some tension in Ayana’s demeanor. “Have you ever interviewed with Hartford before?”

  Ayana shook her head. “No, I have not,” she said. “And thank you.”

  “No problem,” Robertson said as he sat down and got comfortable. “Now, let’s see if you’re a good fit for this job then we can go from there.”

  Ayana answered what seemed like twenty-one questions. Even though she was nervous, she remembered to speak as clearly as she could and try to play up her strengths and downplay her weaknesses. There were a few times she felt as if she tripped up because she didn’t really understand the question. However, she pushed through and answered the best she could.

  When the questions stopped Robertson leaned back, taking his glasses off. “I’m not going to lie,” he said. “I would seriously consider hiring you.”

  You would consider hiring me? Ayana thought, wondering where this could be going. What do you mean you would consider hiring me?